Beyond The Birth, LLC

Hey everyone 😁👋 Wanted to let you know that I facilitate FREE pregnancy and postpartum peer-led support groups in collaboration with Magnolia Birth House in North Miami Beach, FL. Our postpartum group, Footsteps, is now in-person every Thursday from 11am to 1pm at Magnolia Birth House and so is our 3rd Trimester In The Round pregnancy support group, from 6pm to 8pm Thursday evenings. Our 1st and 2nd Trimester groups are currently still held virtually over zoom. For more info and to register, click here --> https://www.beyondthebirth.co/perinatal-groups-miami

100%! Our messy feelings and our children's...

Thanks to Self-Love Rainbow for this important message 💙

The newborn need to be held constantly, near 100% of the time- Awake and asleep -Is shocking for most parents.

When babies continue to need this for the first 3-4 months, parents continue to be surprised.

And when infants continue to need closeness, often less than the beginning, up to age 3 (and beyond) it is also unexpected.

Parents will say - “our newborn is doing great BUT there is a problem that we can’t put her / him down”

I always say “This is not surprising to me at all because nearly every baby has this need.”

We need to support parents to expect this from their newborns and teach them how to enjoy this season of their babies life.

When parents don’t expect this, and expect that their baby can be put down it is very stressful. They constantly fight against this biological need, buying endless products, and trying endless strategies to make it happen. This sends babies and parents into stress states - exactly what we don’t want. This does not benefit the developing baby brain or parent brain.

When parents do expect babies to need constant holding they can prepare to use baby carriers, set up safe sleeping environments, ask family or hire people to take part in holding the baby. Set up their day to bathe in the safety states they create when they hold their baby with presence. This is how the developing baby brain and parent brain grow long lasting wellness.

Saying goodnight is about separation. It is a challenging time for young kids (and parents!) because their need for connection is high. It is natural they should want us. We get to decide how we provide proximity at night - there is no one prescription or one size fits all. What we can do is offer connection by bridging the distance between us. This means we offer them something to hold onto that represents our relationship. It might be focusing on the plans for the next day or telling them you will meet them in their dreams. Bridging means we focus on the next point of connection instead of the distance that comes between us. When we offer connection, reduce their alarm over separation, their body can do the rest to get them to sleep.

You can download the infographic here - https://macnamara.ca/downloads/

Boundary.

Calling myself out with the half dead plants and not completed notes 🫣🫣🫣

❗️❗️❗️❗️

Abbott Recall | Powder Infant Formulas & 2 fl oz Ready-to-Feed Liquid Products Home for info about the recall of powder infant formulas and 2 fl oz ready-to-feed liquid products.

Our Mama Village ❤️

I’m pretty sure keeping myself calm while my child is not calm, is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. J. Milburn⁣
⁣
Oh I had no idea how hard this would be. It actually was much easier when I worked in child care so I really thought “I got this.” Spoiler alert: I didn’t have any clue how to regulate myself when my child was dysregulated. But I’ve learned over the years and now I share those tools and insights with other parents. Our own children bring up triggers that we had no idea were lurking beneath the surface.⁣
⁣
Learn more about this in my latest 📖👇⁣
⁣
Finding Your Calm: A Responsive Parents Guide to Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation⁣
⁣
Link in bio or on the Website: responsiveparentinginspirations.com⁣
⁣

Kindness Grows

We can’t teach kindness
Through shouts and scolds.
Compassion can’t grow
From “do what you’re told”’s.

Empathy is not taught
Alone, in a corner, in the hall.
Generosity is not learned
Being made to share your doll.

If want to teach kindness,
We must be kind,
To children, to teens
To all humankind.

J. Milburn



This doesn’t mean never addressing harmful behaviour, but addressing it with love, curiosity and compassion, not anger.

I go into detail about how this mindset can impact a persons parenting journey in my latest book 👇

Finding Your Calm: Responsive Parents Guide to Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation

Whether you are struggling to see how to respond with love to behaviour you don’t like, or if you have people in your life who question your approach, this book offers many reflections and insights on how our society sees children’s behaviour and how we can respond to any behaviour with love, despite most of us having very few real world examples of that.

Link is in my bio or 👉 https://responsiveparentinginspirations.com/products/finding-your-calm

🥰🥰🥰

Asking for help is not a comfortable practice but it can ease your workload by helping you to be more efficient, and successful in completing your tasks.

So how do you do it?

1️⃣Be concise and specific. Identify what you need and be clear with your ask.

2️⃣Don’t apologize. Asking for help doesn't warrant an apology. We all need help sometimes and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

3️⃣Make it personal, not transactional. People don’t like feeling indebted to others, and most importantly people are more likely to help you if you show a genuine appreciation.

4️⃣Beyond expressing your gratitude, follow up on your request with tangible results. Let the helper know how their help made a larger impact on your day-to-day.

If you struggle with asking for help, consider taking time this month to unlearn old habits by making small requests for assistance.

Do any of the things on this list resonate with you? What’s standing in your way of asking for help?
co

________________________

🌻Peaceful Parenting Resources: http://t.co/T8goym3P6Z 🌻
________________________
Please respect the work of authors, photographers, and artists. You are welcome to share provided you include appropriate credit and do not crop out author’s names from quote memes. Thank you. 🙂
www.LRKnost.com

Fighting a rare, incurable cancer, but I'm still here!💞 L.R.

“I like using the term “nursing” sometimes instead of “breastfeeding,” because sometimes it’s not about hunger.

Sometimes, it’s about baby wanting to cuddle with you, smell your sweet scent, and cozy up to your warmth.

Sometimes it’s about feeling lonely or scared, and mouth to breast provides connection.

Sometimes it’s about the pain of teething, or needing antibodies to get over a cold.

So remember, you are so much more than a food source - so. much. more."

Words:
Illustration:

THIS.

"Repeat after me...nursing to sleep is normal.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It is not a sleep crutch (what even is a sleep crutch...a phrase sleep trainers made up?).

It is not a rod for your own back.

It is not a source of guilt or shame.

Human infants are the most immature social mammal when they're born. They're attachment instincts, their biology and physiology are powerful drivers to make them try to keep us close. Why?

Because they believe their survival depends on it because they don't know they were born in 2021 when we have central heating and locking doors and formula, as opposed to the Pleistocene.

But even if they knew all those things, they would still choose YOU. Because YOU are the only way they can thrive. YOU cannot be replaced by modern-day mother replacements (which abound on baby lists!). They're in love with you. You are quite literally their safe place. Their secure base. You are their world.

And something tells me you wouldn't choose separation either. Because you're a social mammal too. Because you've experienced the magic of nursing your baby to sleep. Of shared moments at 3am when you feel like you're the only two awake in the world. You're the only two that know one another in this way.

And you're not just "getting your baby to sleep" - sure sleep is a byproduct but what you're really doing is co-regulating your infant as she finds sleeps, you're showing her that the world is a safe place, you're showing her she can trust you, you're showing her that she matters, that her needs matter, you're wiring her brain for secure attachment.

So, mama...stop googling "is it ok to breastfeed my baby to sleep?" and instead celebrate it. Celebrate yourself and the choice you're making. The gift you're giving your baby and your relationship. She may forget the details but she will never forget how you made her feel."
📷: ❤️

Boundaries… 💚