Dogs Are Tools

The Perro is starting his weekend the right way; by enjoying the mastication of his favorite squeaky toy. He is hoping to have a nice weekend and is rooting for you to have a great one too ❤️.

The Perro is normally a well mannered, polite canine. Tales of his chivalrous exploits have been told for years now. There are times though, when the Perro cannot control his irritation. Yesterday was one of those times.
The Perro was watching his Bengals play the Ravens on a beautiful day in Cincinnati. He was cheering them on and enjoying the ten point lead the home team had in the fourth quarter. The Perro, not being a multi generational Bengals fan, thought the game was in the bag. Of course any Bengals fan knows ten points with Zac Taylor coaching, and the Ravens sporting Lamar Jackson under center, was never going to be enough. We were right and the Bengals ended up losing in overtime. The Perro let out such shocking langauge that the family was stunned by his choice of profanity. It’s okay Perro. We all wanted to say what you did. Who Dey 🥹.

The Perro is considered by most to be a serious canine. He does have a penchant for fun now and then, so he does know a thing or two about toys that transcends simply their “chew” characteristics. After all the Perro has never met anything he wouldn’t mind chewing, definitely a trait shared copiously with the Baby.
The Baby is very interested in toys with wheels presently. Since the Perro loves to chase cars this was an intense topic of conversation for both of them. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with the Baby Perro. You two are peas in a pod.

The Perro was just settling in to start making his NCAA football parlays on his sports betting ap for the weekend. When he attempted to make a deposit his card kept getting declined. The Perro was confused since he knew he had adequate money to cover his bets.
He checked his bank account and saw numerous purchases for things like “Hairball Monthly Magazine”, gourmet cat food, “Fishing Life Magazine” and four seasons of Tom and Jerry purchased on YouTube. The Perro knew there was only person in the house with those particular tastes and he swore to render the cat unconscious or worse if he saw him. As you can see it isn’t wise to mess with the Perro’s bankroll. I’d watch it if I were the Cat. The perro looks serious.

The Perro was in the midst of a lecture at the local trade school when class was interrupted by a student that asked the Perro “if he thought he was fast”? The Perro, being a former professional racing dog, opined “that he was faster than 99% of land animals and there wasn’t a human on the planet that could keep up with him for more than a half a second”. The student disagreed and challenged the Perro to a foot race. The Perro gleefully accepted as he knows if there was ever a sure bet it was this one.
I don’t think the student did his research on greyhounds. They are literally the second fastest animal on the planet. Poor kid doesn’t have a chance unless he is planning on some kind of mischief to distract the Perro. Run Perro run. You’ve got this.

The Perro is a learned canine. He has studied at some of the most prestigious campuses in Europe and North America. The Perro enjoyed lecturing the grooming class so much he decided his next career move would be to join the ranks of the teaching community.
The Perro made his way to the office to inquire about open positions. His efforts were immediately stymied when they asked him for a resume’ and his masters degree. The Perro could produce neither, so he was told he lacked the requisite qualifications for full time employment. He did demand his paycheck for the lecture he gave to the class. The treasurer did cut him a check on the spot and that made the Perro happy when he saw the amount. Nice work Perro.

The Perro and the Cat have had a love hate relationship that predates time possibly. Cats and dogs have never really gotten along well and the Perro and Cat are normally no exception. The Cat is always talking smack about the Perro on Snapchat, and other social media platforms, and the Perro is always setting the Cat up for groundings, or other punishments, when he frames him for crimes the Cat didn’t commit.
All of that seems to be forgotten now. The UPS guy came and had a package for the Cat. The Perro went looking for the Cat to give him the news. He could not find him after an hour of searching. He knew the Cat would never not respond to a delivery driver so he feared the worst. He was clearly lamenting the loss of the cat that he “hates”. When we asked why he was feeling blue he gave us his story about how the Cat left the house and may never return.
The Cat was actually at a sleep over Birthday party for a neighbor’s cat and no one told the Perro. He was much happier when he heard the news. Cheer up Perro. The Cat will be home today.

The Perro lives his life on a tight schedule. He would rather chase a fish underwater than show up anywhere late. He believes this standard for promptness should apply to everyone since time is the most valuable asset any sentient being can have.
Such were the Perro’s thoughts when he was made to wait an exorbitant amount of time (in his mind) for his groomer to return from her break. If nothing else came from the pizza delivery debacle a few nights ago, it would be that the Perro does not tolerate nonchalance with his schedule. The grooming attendant must not have gotten the message. Not only did her miscue cost her a 20% tip, but when she did finally return, the Perro unleashed a verbal assault that was truly awesome to behold. This spectacle subsequently was recorded by members of the public and made it online. His verbal tirade was seen by senior government officials. They were so impressed with the Perro’s verbal ferocity, they have commissioned his means and methods, as part of the training the USMC will be using for their Drill Instructor training. Thank you Perro for your contributions to Troop training and readiness.

The Perro loves all of his human buddies but wanted to shout out a special thank you to his newest top fans. Thank you all for following the Perro and his exploits ❤️

Allie Angeloni, Ron Leary, Renzer Martin, Ruswianthi Ros, Sajid Shah, Noraima Yepez, Andrey Melo, Michael Ross, Tarik Bouharrou, Michel Maksoud, Denny Mamuaya

Drop a comment to welcome them to our community,

The perro at times suffers from delusions of grandeur. As was reported he was invited as a guest speaker at the local trade school. They had taken a break for lunch and much to the chagrin of the Perro they did not have a special banquet or even menu prepared for the Perro’s enjoyment. This was especially hurtful for the Perro (in his mind anyway) because there is an advanced culinary class in session on the same campus.
The Perro was making overtures about stopping at the main office to let his displeasure be known but he was advised not to cause problems until his paycheck for the day was in hand. I’m sure someone will share their Cheetos with you Perro!

The Perro was enjoying his favorite teams playing football on Sunday. He was shocked his Bengals managed to give the game back to the Chiefs on a boneheaded pass interference penalty. He believed a double order of cheesy, bread and some hot wings from his local pizza joint would soothe his grief over such a horrific loss.
The Perro put his order in. Being a regular customer the Perro believed his order should take precedence over any other customer. He was told his place in line was sacrosanct but somehow his order was 28 minutes later than they promised. As you can see this lent only to inflaming the Perro’s irritation. The Perro was hangry, and the dressing down the Perro gave the driver was so severe, the driver forfeited his employment over the sheer embarrassment of it all. Let’s eat Perro.

Dogs Are Tools Everyone has a pet that’s a tool. This is their showcase. Viva El Perro.

The Perro was a little down yesterday. He had a few reasons to be alacritous with his tears. He was saddened that his bid to provide music services for the homecoming dance was not accepted. He could not provide references since he had never spun records professionally before. That was a deal breaker by itself but he also couldn’t pass a background check since the police won’t run Spanish passports without an extra fee… which the Perro couldn’t afford since he lost all his money on the dolphins game on Thursday.
He was invited by several of his adoring fans from school to go with them as a guest but he didn’t accept because he thought he would have more fun as a dj, and could earn some money for this weeks NFL parlays. Sadly none of it came to fruition and the Perro was showing his discontent in the pictures with his human sisters. Hang in there Perro. Maybe prom?

The Perro is always finding ways to contribute to the community. Even though he had lost his way on his way to his scheduled speech, he still found a way to make his time worthwhile.
The Perro did see the cosmetology lab on his way to his classroom. He noticed the door was ajar so he made his way in to do a quick inspection. He examined the floors for cleanliness and made sure the combs and shears were being properly sanitized. The general feeling of the crowd was amazement as no one had any idea the Perro was versed in inspection techniques for cosmetology venues. Perro you continue to amaze us all.

Dogs Are Tools Everyone has a pet that’s a tool. This is their showcase. Viva El Perro.

The Perro is a learned canine and as such enjoys sharing his wide berth of knowledge with those not as astute as he is. He was asked to come to the local trade school to serve as a guest speaker on the effects of European influence on the American grooming industry. He had never been in this particular school before so he was having a little trouble finding his way. Get going Perro. Class is starting soon.

The Perro believes in law and order and of course free and fair elections. He however has a very low tolerance for redundancy during his entertainment viewing. The Perro is a non political animal. After all, canine dominance is won through teeth and muscle, so he has very little time for understanding the nuances of the American political machines. He does, however understand, after seeing the same political ad 38 times in 60 minutes, that that candidate has earned his ire by blasting his senses with the same tired rhetoric over and over. Making matters worse is the not so obvious choice between dumb and dumber, which has also been a staple of the last several elections. Hang in there Perro it’s almost November.

The Perro had a good day on his Sports Ap. He finally hit a parley that wrapped up nicely with a big payday. He decided to do what any self indulged celebrity would do and called in an overpriced canine manicure professional to give his nails some much needed attention. The perro was pleased with his service and left a tip large enough the attendant didn’t even mind he called her out of a blind date to provide for him. Well done Perro. Your paws look amazing.

Everyone that has followed the Perro for ten minutes or more knows that he is the very definition of a sports betting aficionado. He loves sports betting almost as much as he loves cheesy bread. Unfortunately he is as good at NFL betting as his human owner is at ballet dancing ( now that would be a funny video).
Last night kicked off the NFL season and the Perro literally was slobbering all over the house all day with excitement. The game finally started and the Perro was certain the Ravens were going to pull the upset off. When he saw the touch down catch, with no time left in the 4th quarter he had hit the highest of the highs a gambler can experience on the brink of a big win. He was already on the blower with his travel agent making plans to fly to Vegas for the weekend. Unfortunately subsequent replays showed the player was out of bounds destroying the Perro’s night, and bank account in the process.
It’s gonna be a long season Perro. Hope you have your rent saved up.

The Perro is a former professional racer. His training revolved strictly around ways to make himself even more lightning fast than a typical lightning fast greyhound. He asssumed that any athlete is relegated to their specific athletic endeavor so he never attempted to bounce a basketball or hit a tennis ball with a racket.
He was relaxing yesterday and the Baby threw a tennis ball at him. It must have triggered some instinctual response, as he proceeded to run after it, time, after time, after time, with an air of Joie de Vivre he typically reserves for March Madness viewing. It was good to see the Perro expanding his horizons and now it seems we will be getting random tennis ball deliveries from Amazon as he chews through the current supply. Have fun Perro!

The Perro is typically an excellent judge of character, whether it’s a potential contractor, or just someone looking to be a friend, the Perro has a good nose for good people. Unfortunately the Perro has been burned by contractors in the past. He has paid over the phone before he has had a chance to review the completed job.
That has happened twice and the Perro will not be fooled a third time. In this particular case he hired a neighborhood kid to do some w**d pulling and he made sure the job was done to his 100% satisfaction before writing the young man a check. Fortunately the job was done to the Perro’s high standards so he was paid and an appropriate gratuity was added. Thank you for your diligence Perro. **ds

The Perro in most ways is a very decisive and clear thinking, even overly logical being. There are certain cases where indecision is prevalent. The Perro, when presented with food choices between beef or chicken, may struggle with which one he would prefer. In most cases the Perro has one stuffed friend he sleeps with and that is his go to.
The Perro did receive a new toy that he was considering going to sleep with. Since we only allow one toy in his bed he had to choose which one he wanted to take. Since he couldn’t decide we let him take both to bed to appease his consternation. We told him this would be the only night since it is hard enough to clean the slobber off one toy every morning much less two.

The Perro wrapped his training up with flying colors and passed his child care licensing exam with flying colors. He was hired to watch his Baby Brother and did a fine job. Well done Perro. Remember to stay awake and you will do fine🌝.

The Perro is considered in many circles as a savant, as has been well documented on this page, and various TV, and YouTube programs over the years. His mental capabilities have advanced certain disciplines of engineering and other fields into the 21st century.
These realities have led the Perro to start acting out against his State required retraining of certain aspects of early childhood development practices and standards. He feels the State mandates for his relicensing training are beneath his advanced intellect. This specific retraining is required because of the Perro’s alleged malfeasance against his Baby Brother while babysitting. This was explained to the Perro several times. This did nothing to soothe the Perro’s irritation as in his heart he believes the whole thing was a set up by the Cat. Knowing the Perro the vengeance for this sleight will be both cunning and entertaining. Cheer up Perro we’re almost done!

The Perro was either the victim of a serious setup by the Cat or really was nonchalant while babysitting his Baby brother. Either way the Perro was ordered to retake 20 hours of training to maintain his license. This was definitely boring for the Perro but very interesting for the Baby to watch. The Cat, of course, was beside himself with glee as he took at least a thousand photos of the Perro relearning his shapes and colors. I am sure they’ll turn up on the internet somewhere before long.

The Perro is typically a trustworthy canine. He is normally a hard working, attentive worker. Hence the surprise when the Perro was entrusted to watch his Baby Brother and the family saw this picture on the Cat’s Instagram story while out grocery shopping. The Perro was immediately brought front and center for his malfeasance as soon as the principals rushed home. He swore the photo was a photoshop that Cat created to frame him. Upon close examination the photo was found to be genuine so the Perro’s babysitting license was suspended. The Perro is scheduled for retraining to have his early childhood development licensing reinstated. The Cat was ecstatic as he was able to pay the Perro back for his hair ball rhetoric!

The Perro has had a good week for a change. There is no better way for the Perro to celebrate than by starting his weekend with a good brushing! Enjoy Perro you’ve earned a little R&R!