Positive Parenting Pathways

How to Apologise to Children Without Saying “I’m Sorry”

CREDIT GoZen: Anxiety Relief for Children

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Great list of characteristics for sensory kiddos as well as ADHD - a lot of similarities. Great to use for teachers, coaches, family, friends.

Do these look familiar for your sensory kiddo?

Here are some deep-pressure activities via Pinterest.
We apologize there is no citation but it seemed too good not to share.

Such an important reminder to help us try and understand where kids are coming from with their anger!

Warning Signs of Anxiety in Kids Warning Signs of Anxiety in Kids

WHAT IS THE LIMBIC SYSTEM?
The limbic system is an area of the brain including several brain structures. These include the amygdala, the hippocampus, the hypothalamus, thalamus, and olfactory bulb. There are some really important hormones associated with these structures and their responses as well. 🧠

These structures and their hormones control functions such as emotions, behavior, motivation, sleep, appetite, olfaction, stress response, among other daily tasks and responses.

This is really interesting, because you may connect the dots with this list and see that social emotional skills, executive functioning, inner drives, and sensory processing (including the sense of smell and interoception) all centered in one place in the brain! 🧠

Generally speaking, the limbic system is the emotional brain. 😭🤣🥰
It’s the space where survival behavior occurs. It’s the place in the brain that coordinated emotions, fear, aggression, basic inner drives, and episodic memories. 🧠
More info: https://www.theottoolbox.com/the-limbic-system-and-function/

When we support learners with ADHD in handwriting, whether it be acquisition skills or written expression we need to understand where the problem is. Because a "problem well defined is a problem half solved."

What may look like poor letter formation, or "sloppy, rushed handwriting" may not improve with additional practice.

Supporting the underlying executive functions required in the writing assignment however can be a game changer.

Writing is ALL executive function.

Find support at www.ot4adhd.com or check out : https://ot4adhd.com/2022/08/12/adhd-and-written-expression/

Activities you can do to help kids cross the midline... https://ilslearningcorner.com/2016-02-cross-the-midline-crossing-the-midline-exercises-using-arms-and-legs-for-brain-integration/

Vestibular seeking ⭐️
How many of you have “upside down kids”, kids who are constantly hanging upside down off their beds/ sofas/ anywhere!!?!
The vestibular sense is one of our sensory systems and is located in our inner ear. Hanging upside down is a powerful activator of the vestibular sense
and it can assist with self-regulation; it can be calming or alerting.
If your child hangs upside down then let them! It’s likely that they need this input to help them stay calm and regulated. Other activities that have a similar effect are children’s yoga, hanging from monkey bars, rolling over an exercise/ gym ball, and swings.
Always be led by your child. If they show signs of dizziness etc then stop the activity.

Edit: due to the interest in this post, I’ve added in our next online training session in case it’s useful for anyone. It will cover the eight senses; auditory (sound), tactile, visual, olfactory (smell), gustatory (taste), interoception (our internal sense), proprioception (our body awareness), and of course the vestibular sense (our sense of balance).

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/introduction-to-sensory-processing-tickets-673680004027
The cost is £21.43. It’s the 28th September 10-12pm Uk time.

Love this visual!

😍 382 Fichas de Estimulación Cognitiva Para niños a partir de los 4 años

Activities to build your child or student's proprioception... https://ilslearningcorner.com/2016-05-heavy-work-activites-heavy-work-prevents-proprioceptive-dysfunction-and-fosters-proprioceptive-success/

Are you using any of these handwriting apps?

Here are more OT apps (all totally free) for skills & developmental areas such as: fine motor, visual motor, executive functioning skills, & emotional regulation. https://www.theottoolbox.com/free-apps-for-occupational-therapy/

CALM DOWN TOOLS FOR KIDS

How to help kids with brain breaks, proprioception and calming techniques.

https://www.andnextcomesl.com/2016/12/calm-down-kit-for-older-kids.html

🚨Ayudenme a Compartir🚨🙏

Clase de Natación Gratis para personas con impedimento visual.🙏🙏

Interesados pueden escribir al whatsapp📲 939-325-1060.

Behavior is communication. This is true for all ages - toddlers, teenagers, and adults. I hear time and time again that the adolescent is the problem. They’re just bad apples. And I’m here to argue that it’s just not true. Sure, in extremely rare cases, one might be dealing with a young psychopath. But this is the exception to the rule, and I’m not here to talk about the rare exceptions. Troubled kids are hurting kids.

I understand that sometimes their behavior is so out of hand and super scary. I understand that sometimes it’s so deeply difficult to parent some of these kids, and often feels impossible. But the research shows us that you can’t punish the hurt out of them. You can only punish more hurt into them.

If you’re parenting a seemingly impossible child, I have two book recommendations for you: The Explosive Child by Ross W Greene and Self-Reg by Dr. Stuart Shanker. You can find them linked on my book recommendations highlight.

- TAGS -

We need to change this narrative to supporting evaluations rather than delaying or preventing them.

✅ Fact: Lots of kids catch up on their own and won’t need therapy (at all, or just for short duration)
✅ Fact: Both neurotypical and neurodivergent kids can have initial delays and catch up, be “fine”, and have successful jobs.
✅ Fact: Many engineers are Autistic (both diagnosed and undiagnosed) and I used that example specifically because there’s a very good chance these late talking successful engineers are undiagnosed Autistic.

All that to say- just support evaluations, getting a professional opinion, and early intervention 🎉

ENTERTAINING AND EDUCATIONAL ACTIVITIES

https://learnincolor.com/educational-activities-for-when-youre-stuck-indoors.html

How to Help Your Daughter Deal With a Mean Girl Friendship We want our daughters to be kind, but we also need to remember that we need to help them learn how to identify toxic relationships.

CHILDREN ARE 800% WORSE AROUND THEIR MOTHER
Did you know that children can also have a bad day? And their only way to unwind is by releasing their tantrum and temper to their mother.
"A study by the University of Washington’s Department of Psychology found that children are 800% worse around their mothers. The study indicated that observing children’s behavior at the entrance of their mothers in the room showed changes for the worse, drastically and rapidly.
Child psychologists concluded that mothers are the safety bubble of a child’s life when she is around. Children know they are safe, and they can be or do anything they want because mom will keep them safe."
Dear mothers,
You are their safe place.
You are a garbage disposal of unpleasant feelings and emotions.
If they have been holding it together for a whole day, in an unpleasant situation, the second they see you, they know it's time they can finally let it go.
So calm down when you find yourself wondering why does my child behave for everyone but me, it is because you have the privilege of being his mother and are doing an excellent job.

Via Sisterhood connecting together as one.

De padres autoritarios, niños inseguros. Consecuencias de una educación muy estricta Qué pasa cuando brindamos una educación muy estricta a nuestros hijos, ¿cuáles son las consecuencias? Debes saber que los padres autoritarios dan lugar a niños inseguros, sumisos e, incluso agresivos. Porque ser la autoridad del hogar no significa ser autoritario con los niños.

The Right Brain Develops First ~ Why Play is the Foundation for Academic Learning Photo credit: Thank you to Emek of Emek Studios Did you know that the right brain develops first? It does so by the time children are 3-4 years of age. The left brain, on the other hand, doesn't fully come online until children are approximately seven years old; hence the first seven years being rec...

Tip for parents:

Remember that when your child is yelling
and kicking
and threatening
and being LOUD....

That they are seeking your ATTENTION.
____________________

Pretend they are not mad at you, at all.

They are acting out a role of "Anger,"
auditioning for
the next Pixar
"Inside Out" film.

All the anger has nothing
to do with YOU.

It is just a way of saying,

"See me! Validate my
experiences! I want you to tell me you notice me and my struggles!"
____________________

Do NOT turn it into a moral battle of
"you are making
bad choices and
I make good choices."

It doesn't work well with kids who are already worked up,
and it can trigger RSD (Rejection Sensetive Dysphoria) in kids with conditions like ADHD, Dyslexia, PTSD, and Autism.
_________________________

Try things like this, instead:

1) Say, "You look upset. I can see you clenching your fists and turning red and sweating. Your body isn't feeling happy right now."

Then give them
some time to reflect
on how their body feels.

2) Say, "I hear you. You feel angry. That is a normal feeling. Everyone gets angry sometimes."

Remember to
leave some time
to let them process what you have said.

Silence is not the enemy.

3) Say, "I love you even when you are struggling with big feelings. I'm here with you, and if you want to tell me what is causing you to hurt inside, I will listen."

And remember to
use THEIR words.

If they label an emotion,
use that word
(sad, hurting, grumpy, sleepy, sick, enraged, disgusted)

when you talk back to them.

Let them feel SEEN by
using their language
without
any judgement in your voice.

You are just a calm narrator.

4) Once their anger slows a little, and they are less aggressive, try
"Sometimes when I'm upset,
it can help to
eat something
or drink something.

Can you think of something you would like to eat or drink right now?
Like an ice cream cone
or a Sprite?
Maybe a ride to a drive through
could help us get
some space
to find our calmness."

(or a "visit to the kitchen" for healthier choices)
________________________

If you stay calm
They are
more likely to calm down.

So focus on the immediate goal of helping them get calm....

Everything else
can wait an hour or MORE.

And for me personally,
it helps
if I picture my kids as puppy dogs who are angry because I dressed them in uncomfortable clothes

(like this cute dog as Paddington Bear).

They aren't bad doggies.
They are overwhelmed doggies.
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*Edit, regarding food and Hangry/low blood sugar episodes.

I have a child with ARFID, which is Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder. It causes my child to be so underweight that we frequently have evaluations for a feeding tube and appetite stimulants.

This, and other sensory eating problems, have a higher occurrence in the Neurodivergent population...which are the people I am trying to reach with my page.

As an Autistic person, I have low Interoception skills and am prone to low blood sugar and "h-angry" rages because I do not sense my own hunger.

That is why I suggest eating.

It is not advice everyone needs...but it works very well with many Autistic, ADHD, and Bi-Polar people.

https://bit.ly/ResponsibilityJournal

Did you know speech and language are two different things? It’s true! You can produce speech without using language rules and communicate with language sans speech (like I’m doing as I type this up!)

Most people talk about kids who are late to talk as having a speech delay, and while sometimes it is speech related, it’s more often a language delay- or combination.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s in depth look into both speech AND language differences commonly seen in Autism (I bet you’ll be surprised!)

“TENEMOS QUE HABLAR DEL TÍO SCAR”...

Me encanta el Rey Leon pero no puedo dejar de pensar en el error que cometen Mufasa y Sarabi de no hablarle claro a Simba sobre el tío Scar.
Papá y mamá habían dejado de confiar en él, pero nadie le contó esto al cachorro.

🤔Quizá los papás de Simba no querían “contaminarlo” con problemas de adultos.
🤔Quizá esperaban poder contener las acciones del tío.
🤔Quizá esperaban que con el tiempo algo cambiara y Scar entrara en razón.
🤔Quizá no querían hablar mal de uno de su propia manada.
🤔Quizá confiaban en que Simba estaba a salvo porque Zazú lo cuidaba.

Lo cierto es que no haber hablado claro con su cachorro trajo graves consecuencias.

En la vida real como en El Rey León, hay que dejar de postergar esa plática pendiente sobre el tío o el abuelo o el amigo de la familia o el vecino y poner las cosas claras con los hijos. (A cualquier edad)

Y hablar claro no es atemorizarlos o perjudicar la imagen que tienen de otra persona.
Basta con dejarles saber que los adultos tienen desencuentros; que en ese momento papá y mamá no entienden lo que “el tío” está haciendo; y que, como le tienen confianza a su hijo, quisieron ponerlo al tanto de lo que está pasando entre adultos.

Nuestros hijos podrán intuir la sinceridad cuando digamos que al tío le tenemos mucha estima y que esperamos que la situación vuelva a ser como antes. También podrán entender que no es necesario que se molesten con él para hacer alianza con papá y mamá.
Los problemas de adultos, los resolverán los adultos.

Después, dependiendo la situación particular, podemos hablarles y pedirles:

✔️Si estás solo en casa y llega el tío Scar, te vamos a pedir que no le abras la puerta.
✔️Si llega por ti al colegio y te invita de paseo, dile que esperarás a que vayamos por ti nosotros.
✔️Si te dice algo que no te guste, no dudes en contarnos.
✔️Si te pide que guardes un secreto, recuerda que lo bueno siempre se puede contar.

Si en casa les ha faltado hablar del “tío Scar”, HOY puede ser un buen día para hacerlo.

🔦NOTA: (El tío Scar puede ser también una mujer)

Créditos:
🖊 De Lucía Villareal, escritora — con Pilar Bajaña.

May is better hearing and speech month and I love this graphic by highlighting what SLPs do!

An important reminder. 💕

The Occuplaytional Therapist 💕
•
To speak in very general terms of averages -- because that's all I can talk about, is average child development, not your kid's specific child development -- 5-6 is when children start to really become aware of winning and losing, but they still can't handle it well yet.

This is the age of racing ✨everywhere✨, of insisting that they win and you lose at everything. That sometimes leads parents to think that they're ready for actual, structured winning and losing, but they're usually not.

Children at around 5-6 love the concept of games, and they love making up their own game ideas. They might change the rules as the game is played, especially to cheat in order so that they will win. It's not "real" cheating -- it's brain development, showing the start of understanding about what kinds of things lead to winning and losing! A much younger child can't understand that kind of cause and effect or forward thinking yet.

No matter how often a child 5-6ish loses, no matter how often you tell them "It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's fun to just play games," that concept will not go through their head until they are developmentally ready (usually around 7; sometimes around 8-9 or later, depending on if they have other lagging social/emotional skills and what sort of context they've experienced winning and losing in).

Also, that's straight-up a lie and you know it. 😉 It is not fun to lose. You might get to a point of maturity where you aren't bothered by it, or aren't feeling competitive, but nobody who *is* feeling emotionally invested and competitive is like "woohoo, I lose!" So honestly that's kind of a silly thing to try to teach children. It can even be helpful to acknowledge, "Gosh, it sucks to lose sometimes, huh?" or "You know, the reason I don't mind when you beat me is because I think it was fun that we played together!" or something a little more honest and a little less clichéd.

The great news is that there are loads of cooperative board games out there these days, which are often really fun for younger kids! Games with "no point" or no set end are often good for these ages too (think of things like "I Spy", where you're guessing what the other person is thinking but nobody wins or loses).

When children try to navigate winning and losing in their own made-up games with peers, try not to interject an adult's lens on it. If they come to you for your help -- "I won and she lost!" "Nuh-uh, he lost and I won!" -- try to coach rather than refereeing. You don't have to "make the call" about the end result. Talk the kids through sorting out their own social back-and-forth, however that ends up looking.

Really, you could also black out all of the text in this entire post except for "You don't have to... out of fear..." because parenting that way, *ever*, is not very helpful. If your child is 5 and adores structured board games, great. Play games with them. If your child is 9 and loathes win/lose situations, give them some space to be themselves. I know adults who feel anxious about competitive games and drilling down on things that make your kid feel bad inside are not a way to connect with them or "prepare them for adulthood" or all the excuses people give me for why they do things like this to their child. Keep modelling grace and healthy frustration in all walks of life, not just game playing, and give them space and time to mature.

[Image description:
A picture of a close-up of a board game like Monopoly, with text under it that reads: "Children under 7 rarely do well with games that involve winning and losing. It just takes time and maturity. You don't have to keep playing these types of games, or making them lose, out of fear that they'll grow up to be a 'sore loser'." End description.]

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