Kara

When someone dies from their addiction, it's easy to worry that addiction is what will define their memory. There's a fear that the overdose will overshadow all the other incredible things. But those of us who have lost someone to an overdose, we loved them for a million other things. We remember them for a million other things.

We take this day to remember all of the valuable lives lost to the illness that is addiction.

Today is National Grief Awareness Day. Its mission is to raise awareness for grief as a whole as well as to provide support and thoughts for those who are grieving.

There are a variety of things you can do to observe National Grief Awareness Day. One thing that you can consider doing is making a gift to Kara to continue to provide grief support services to the Bay Area community.

The most important thing to practice today is to remember to take care of yourself and do what feels right for you.

Kara is thinking of you today.

The second principle of the Dougy Center's core principles of being grief informed is that grief is Complex and Nonpathological.

There is no such thing as “easy grief”. Having someone close to you die brings up a large range of emotions, or sometimes a feeling of numbness. All grief is complicated and complex, just like the people who have died and the people who are grieving.

This is not to say that a griever cannot benefit from professional help. Instead, it is to say that grief does not need to be classified as a disorder. There is nothing abnormal about suffering from grief. Therapists and other mental health professionals can still assist these individuals, just in a holistic way over just a medical diagnosis.

Kara does offer some therapy services, which can be quite helpful to a grieving person. The main support model used however is considered to be peer support. Peer support is designed to offer emotional support to the person receiving the services, whether it be in a one-on-one or a group setting. It is important to clarify the distinction between therapy and peer support. Peer support volunteers are trained to facilitate and support those grieving, but they are not necessarily therapists. No therapy license is required to be a peer support volunteer, and those involved in those services can attest to their usefulness, despite not being “medical”.

We’d love to hear your thoughts on this principle as well! What do you think about grief being complex and nonpathological?

"Like a bird singing in the rain, let grateful memories survive in a time of sorrow."

- Robert Louis Stevenson

In Honor of National Grief Awareness Day on August 30, we are hosting a workshop to provide the fundamentals of grief and focus on identifying and supporting others through grief through a non-pathologized lens.

The workshop will be offered in both English and Spanish:

For the workshop in English register here:

https://tinyurl.com/KaraGrief

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En honor al Día Nacional de Concienciación sobre el Duelo, el 30 de agosto, estamos organizando un taller para proporcionar los fundamentos del duelo y centrarnos en la identificación y el apoyo a los demás a través del duelo desde una perspectiva no patologizada.

Registración:

https://tinyurl.com/KaraRegistracion

🏃‍♀️ Summer Giving & Fall Events! 🏃‍♂️ - https://mailchi.mp/kara-grief.org/wnr1fallevents

At the end of the 2023-2024 school year, Kara’s staff in the Youth & Family Journeys schools program and the Spanish Services program collaborated in leading a 12-week session with grieving first generation students at Sequoia High School in Redwood City. The group facilitation and individual student sharing about Kara’s grief support had a meaningful impact on the students, Sequoia’s staff, and Kara’s grief support team. Here are a few reflections shared with Kara upon conclusion of the sessions.

This new post from What's Your Grief is a terrific read regarding finding meaning after loss.

"All of this is to say, your grief may not take the shape of the hero’s journey. That’s ok—your grief is not made meaningful based on whether it birthed a personal transformation or not. You may eventually find meaning there—I hope you do.

But if that feels far off or impossible, that’s ok. Meaning is in the storytelling itself.

"Human experience is meaningful when it is comprehensible to those who are having the experience." "

Grief Without Heroes: Finding Meaning Beyond the Monomyth - Whats your Grief Finding meaning in grief doesn’t always follow a hero’s journey—sometimes, it’s about embracing the messiness without expecting magical transformations

🎈 Your Summer Gift of Hope - https://mailchi.mp/kara-grief.org/summergivingfinal

“I can accept the idea of my own demise, but I am unable to accept the death of anyone else. I find it impossible to let a friend or relative go into that country to no return. Disbelief becomes my close companion, and anger follows in its wake. I answer the heroic question ‘Death, where is thy sting?’ with ‘It is here in my heart and mind and memories.'”

-Maya Angelou

We would love to hear from you on what you think about grief!

Dougy Center has introduced 10 core principles of being grief informed which involve recognizing what grief is and some best practices for supporting people who are grieving. We will be highlighting these over the course of a few months, as well as sharing Kara's aligned approach and services, with the hope of building a more grief-informed and grief-sensitive community!

The first of these principles is that grief is Natural. Grief and loss are inevitable. Since the beginning of humanity, people have been exposed to death and grief. Yet we are resilient. With the support of others, it is possible to adapt to grief healthily. This is the philosophy that guides Kara to provide groups and 1-on-1 peer support to people who are grieving.

Finding a space that feels safe to share and process through difficult feelings can make a huge difference when adapting to life after grief. This can be a group of people who have had similar losses in their lives, but also can be found in communities that share some of the same values and identities.

It is important to know one thing: you are not alone in your grief. While grief is unique to the individual, it is still a universal experience. You will be able to find people you feel comfortable with, and work through the complex feelings of grief together.

What is something that helps you feel connected in your grief? Let us know!

The death of a parental figure means the loss of one of our first and most important connections. The idea that an adult should not grieve the death of a parent can make that pain feel invalidated.

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La muerte de una figura materna o paterna significa la pérdida de una de nuestras primeras y más importantes conexiones. La idea que un adulto no debería llorar la muerte de sus padres puede hacer sentir ese dolor invalidado.

For more information and registration:
https://kara-grief.org/events/group-for-adults-who-have-lost-a-parent-24/

Trying to understand the emotions of a grieving person is really appreciated! Sometimes we may want to say we're sorry for a person's loss, but in some cases it can make the person feel worse. Taking the time to show that you are there for a person and that you want to understand what is going on inside their head shows a lot of care and connection, and can really help them to feel supported in their grieving process.

Kara's volunteer training in Spanish is coming up. If you are interested in accompanying and supporting people in the community who are grieving the loss of a loved one, we invite you to attend the information sessions. Both sessions will be on Zoom.

Registration links:

Wednesday, August 14:

https://kara-grief-org.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZ0qd-yurz8iG9R_Fmf30LhM1OoivPaco7-o #/registration

Monday, August 19:

https://kara-grief.org.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZArcOyorTopHtaURfFiSTjO42J_seI1C4gD #/registration

"Everyone grieves in different ways. For some, it could take longer or shorter. I do know it never disappears. An ember still smolders inside me. Most days, I don't notice it, but, out of the blue, it'll flare to life."

- Maria V. Snyder

The impact of childhood grief is a major public health crisis. In 2022, a staggering 1,089 children in the US were newly bereaved each day.

Judi’s House, a grief support agency in Aurora, Colorado, conducts research, analyzes data, and approximates rates of children and youth who will experience the death of a parent or sibling by the time they reach adulthood.

The CBEM information about youth bereavement helps communities evaluate the impacts of unaddressed grief, campaign for grief resources, and ultimately, contribute to improved outcomes for grieving families everywhere.

🌟 Give Hope to Grieving Youth - https://mailchi.mp/kara-grief.org/august24 Read our Monthly Newsletter and donate to our Summer Giving Campaign in support of grieving youth!

When we are trying to support some who is grieving, we may struggle a bit to find the balance between sharing our own experiences and purely listening. One rule of thumb is to try to leave as much room as possible for the griever to share when the grief they have is recent.

Thank you What's Your Grief for this thoughtful and helpful article, helping to build a more grief-informed and grief-sensitive community.

What You Really Need to Know About 'Grieving Stages' - WYG There are common experiences that serve as the basis of grief theories that involve grieving stages, phases, etc., but you may not relate them.

"When our days become dreary with low-hovering clouds of despair, and when our nights become darker than a thousand midnights, let us remember that there is a creative force in this universe, working to pull down the gigantic mountains of evil, a power that is able to make a way out of no way and transform dark yesterdays into bright tomorrows."

- Martin Luther King Jr.

When a person is grieving, it can make all the difference to show them that you still want them around. Let them know that even if they aren't feeling up to having company right now, that the door is still open later. They will appreciate it.

"Death is a challenge. It tells us not to waste time. It tells us to tell each other right now that we love each other."

- Leo Buscaglia

"Camp Kara helped my child to feel less alone in grief and feel okay about asking hard questions about things related to death that they do not understand or feel are unresolved."

- Parent of a Youth Camper

"Camp Kara helped me to know that there are many different people who grieve with me, and it helped me feel hopeful and supported. I also learned to make more friends and have lots of fun! Activities and grief activities helped me let my worries go away."

- Youth Camper

In early July we hosted our 17th annual bereavement camp for youth ages 6-17 who have experienced the death of someone significant in their lives. Camp Kara combines an overnight "summer fun camp" with focused grief activities, emotional support, and practical tools for rebuilding resilience and self-care after a youth has suffered a meaningful loss. Thanks to our generous donors, the Friday-Sunday camp is offered at no cost to bereaved youth and their caregivers.

This year’s Camp Kara was attended by 85 youth, each with a unique grief story and, collectively, from broadly diverse backgrounds and models of caregiver support. We are deeply grateful for the 45 highly trained volunteers and staff members who offered compassionate support and helpful tools so campers could learn how to process grief and normalize difficult feelings and thoughts about death and dying.

❤️‍🩹 Summer Giving for Bereaved Youth - https://mailchi.mp/kara-grief.org/summer-giving

What can being present look like?

“When someone you love dies and you're not expecting it, you don't lose her all at once; you lose her in pieces over a long time—the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in her closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of her that are gone. Just when the day comes—when there's a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that she's gone, forever—there comes another day, and another specifically missing part.”

- John Irving

A huge thank you to Valley Humane Society and all the comfort canines that visited with our campers on Saturday at Camp Kara!

Thanks Judi's House for sharing these thoughtful resources for bereaved parents.

It is not uncommon for people who have had someone die to feel even more isolated when they do not hear from anyone in their support network. Keeping the door open to show the person that you still care and are thinking of them can go a long way!