Megan Ocken-Helmen, Psy.D., LP

Gifted, autistic, highly sensitive, and/or empathic kids often have this experience.

⬆️ High emotional sensitivity. A big emotional sponge.

⬇️ Lower ability to interpret and process those emotions.

⭐️ For example:

The child who becomes overwhelmed and runs away when a younger sibling cries

The teens who considers world suffering and feels depressed

The child who gets hyperactive when classmates express frustration

⭐️ Like and share if you agree!

⭐️ Have you had that moment where you heard or saw something that made you feel seen and understood? Something clicked where you finally could say, “THAT’S ME!” Please share! 👇👇👇

Ever feel like your child or student is willfully trying to upset you? Mmmmhmmm

Pause and consider if they are acting as they are due to a MISSING SKILL due to their disability (or level of development in general if there is no disability).

This shifts how you respond. You teach a skill or give some grace rather than taking it personally and escalating.

You won’t keep calm every time and that’s okay. You can always try again. Keep asking yourself, “Defiance or disability?”

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❇ My infographics have been downloaded as far away as Australia and England! Here in the USA, we are celebrating our Independence Day.

❇ Infographic topics include Autism, Gifted & Autistic, ADHD Combined Presentation, and ADHD Inattentive Presentation. Vote in stories for my next infographic topic!

❇A couple of years ago, I searched for an infographic to give to families. I wanted good go-to info, tips, and resources that were balanced, kid-friendly, and (oddly hard to find) printable on an 8x11 piece of paper. It didn't exist, so I made my own.

❇ I hope these will help your family better understand and support the neurodivergent kids in your life.

Developmental Discoveries turns 2 this month!

We have shorter wait times with a new psychologist joining us and a larger space (9/1). After fall conferences, we fill up until the end of the year quickly.

We appreciate every referral and family who trusts us with their child's care. Thanks for making our first 2 years a success!

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All of the effort put forth to engage in social exchanges in a neurotypical way is exhausting. “But she can’t be autistic, she…”.

Clinicians need to dig deeper.
⭐️Did she need extensive coaching to appear that way?
⭐️How is her mood and energy level after these typical-looking interactions?
⭐️How does she describe her experience when socializing?
⭐️Can she share her imaginary play and world with others?

🚨We are missing autistic girls and it matters.

👉 Infographic linked in bio and stories

Girls can also display “classic” autistic patterns. This post is meant to highlight autistic presentations that clinicians have been missing.

😅Can you relate?

Every gifted individual is unique and being gifted is not pathological. One size does not fit all. I tend to meet kids who are having a hard time in one way or another. I usually don’t evaluate the gifted kids who are managing everything well. For the gifted kids I do see, these are common patterns.

It is normal to experience anxiety. Gifted individuals often have stronger emotional and/or behavioral reactions to experiencing anxiety. Therapy can help to notice these thinking traps and use cognitive strengths to generate alternative, healthier thinking patterns and coping skills.

EVEN IF YOUR CHILD DOESN’T DO THE THING….

⭐️ Your child heard that you say you believe they are capable of.

⭐️ If they are resistant: You can it next to or with them. Do part of it and have them do the rest. Set the expectation where they can achieve it.

⭐️ Kids are capable of a lot.

⭐️ Persistence is a common trait in ADHD, autism, and giftedness.
⭐️ The trick is noticing when it’s helpful and when it is hindering.
⭐️ Is the goal worth it? Is continuing causing positive or negative feelings?

⭐️I’ve met many autistic girls with rich imaginations.

Research shows that autistic girls often engage in imaginary play. It tends to be difficult for them to share their imagination with others or to include others’ ideas in their play. These traits are not described in the DSM-5.

I’ve met gifted autistic girls with the most elaborate imaginations I’ve ever encountered. The world and characters they create are a source of joy and often a safe place to spend time. I always ask if they are a character in the world and what role they play. It’s often a helper/leader role. It’s a place where they are loved, respected, and needed. We all have this need.

⭐️ The imagination is a safe place to have these needs met when the real world is cruel and overwhelming.

Any gender could show these characteristics. These are based on patterns I’ve seen over many years of clinical experience.

Observing and working to understand what is happening before joining a social group stands out as the most common coping skill in my experience. What others should be added?

Autism in girls might look like…

⭐️⭐️Contact me for trainings! ⭐️⭐️

Boys and gender diverse individuals can show all these same traits. Boys are more likely to have the “classic” traits described in the DSM-5. My intention is to highlight the traits in girls that are not well described in the DSM-5, causing them to get overlooked

Original caption:

The outlines 3 social-communication “deficits” and 4 areas of rigid/repetitive behaviors (+sensory) that define autism. Someone must have all 3 social indicators and at least 2 out 4 rigid/repetitive behaviors to meet criteria for autism.

The DSM-5 (diagnostic manual) is used by psychologists and other clinicians. The autism criteria were developed based primarily on research on boys. The more we learn as a field, the more we find that girls can present differently. The research shows we ARE missing autistic girls when evaluating for autism. I hope this post sheds some light on autistic girls, their traits, & behaviors. The information is based on research & 10 years of clinical experience.

I’ve truly enjoyed the autistic girls I’ve been lucky enough to meet and work with. They are among the most caring and loyal kids I have met. They often face significant anxiety & frustration.

*There are other medical, developmental, and mental health factors to consider and ‘rule out’ when making a diagnosis.

Start from your comfort zone and stretch from there. This will look different for everyone.

⭐️Report back in the comments!

Inspired by at the Gifted & Talent Symposium. (not an ad)

Our team at Developmental Discoveries created this list of values using the method in . I’m so proud of my team and the work we do ❤️

Gifted, autistic, or both? It can be tricky to tease apart! These are examples of traits and difficulties that could be true in both cases. There are many other factors to consider when identifying autism and giftedness.

⭐️What parts do you relate to?

It’s a trick question. There is no wrong way to play as long as everyone is safe. How does your differently-wired child like to play?

👉Individuals have started to learn more about developmental disabilities, such as autism and ADHD, through social media. Some have self-identified as having a developmental disability, though they have not received a clinical diagnosis.

👉What are some of the positive aspects of this and what are some of the pitfalls? Are these even the right questions to be asking?

👉These issues are unfolding in real time and hold significant meaning and implications for clinicians and individuals. What do you think?

👉I appreciate nuance and complexity. I believe many seemingly conflicting truths can coexist. I don’t think there is one right answer. Please be respectful in your responses knowing that we don’t know each other’s personal stories and we are all doing our best to be humans in a messy world ❤️

FREE INTERVENTION: Adjust expectations

If we think about behaviors, context, and our expectations in this framework of mismatches, we can determine more effective interventions (and adjust expectations appropriately).

1) Adjust expectations: Adjust them to where they are reasonable. Set expectations at or just beyond the child’s current developmental level in any given area (e.g. attention, self-care skills, academic skills). Depending on the day and everyone’s energy levels, raise or lower the bar.

2) Focus on skill building: Improve the child’s skills and abilities to advance the child’s developmental level. Provide services and explicitly teach skills.

3) Provide accommodations: These are adjustments to the environment that make it a better match for the child’s abilities. As someone in a wheelchair needs a ramp rather than stairs, an child might need reduced sensory input or a child with ADHD might need more time to complete a task. There are thousands of more examples.

4) Be culturally mindful: Be open to and actively address blind spots. Ask questions & seek to understand. As the parent, ask how cultural factors are addressed.

5) Medical intervention; Sometimes medications are needed to address the mismatch. Medications can also allow a child to benefit more from services provided. Medication should help the child’s behavior to align with their good intentions and efforts.

What else would you add to this list?

What other types of mismatches do you see?

#504

Share with someone who needs to hear this ❤️

⭐️My mission is to help more people understand often misunderstood kids.

⭐️With 3 years and dozens of talks under my belt, I feel like I’m just getting started.

⭐️ Educators, therapists, doctors, social workers, parents…I’ve spoken to groups of all kinds and sizes. Let me know if I can speak to your group!

Everyone LOVES stickers! Embrace offbeat traits with a sense of humor. It helps balance the challenges of being an intense, complex, quirky being 😊❤️

took my content and design ideas and ta-dah!

Selling these stickers in bulk as a first step because the logistics are manageable. Linked on my website (store).

If I created sticker packs along with my rainbow fingerprint heart design, would folks be interested? Or maybe put them on a shirt? Other ideas?

3 years ago I started this account and previewed infographics I was working on. 3 years later, they’re out in the world! 😅 Hello executive functioning challenges.

I wanted an 8x11 printable resource with solid information for families that was shareable and kid friendly. I couldn’t find any so I made my own. This is one section of the infographic 😀

⭐️Accessible, affordable, reliable information ⭐️

Downloads available via my website https://www.developmental-discoveries.com/store

3 years ago I started this account and previewed infographics I was working on. 3 years later, they’re out in the world! 😅 Hello executive functioning challenges.

I wanted an 8x11 printable resource with solid information for families that was shareable and kid friendly. I couldn’t find any so I made my own. This is one section of the infographic 😀

⭐️Accessible, affordable, reliable information ⭐️

Downloads available via my website, https://www.developmental-discoveries.com/store

🤦‍♀️ Anyone can say anything & post to TikTok

⭐️Be a critical consumer of information ⭐️

👉There was no difference in engagement between accurate and inaccurate/overgeneralized videos

👉Videos from healthcare providers were more likely to be accurate

🤔What’s the wildest or most harmful information you’ve heard on social media?

Aragon-Guevara D, Castle G, Sheridan E, Vivanti G. The Reach and Accuracy of Information on Autism on TikTok. J Autism Dev Disord. 2023 Aug 6. doi: 10.1007/s10803-023-06084-6. Epub ahead of print. PMID: 37544970.

Understanding leads to a more effective approach and uses the relationship as a foundation. Get curious & build understanding.

There is still time to apply for the Arts and Improv session of the 2e Summer Academy! This is a great opportunity for high-ability and neurodivergent high school students getting ready to apply to college.

Visit belinblank.org/2eSA/ to learn more!

Every patient is someone’s baby. There’s a time and place for medical jargon and sterile descriptions. When describing neurodivergence in a child, I find it mostly unnecessary.

Did the written report impact your evaluation experience? Did it impact how and when you shared it with others?

Autistic people have strengths. I’ve heard too many stories and read too many reports where an autism diagnosis was not given because the child was “too [insert strength here].”

I’m happy to provide training and consultation to psychologists interested in learning more. Identification can be challenging and is important. ❤️

Look what my girl made me 🥹 She “searched up” my logo online ❤️