Raleigh Law Center

Something to make you smile today☺️...

Groom Makes The Most Heartfelt Vows To His 9-Year-Old Stepdaughter "Having a man love your child as much as he loves you is an indescribable feeling," the bride said.

https://www.divorcemag.com/articles/how-to-survive-the-divorce-process-with-a-narcissist

How To Survive The Divorce Process With a Narcissist Narcissists are known for their need for control, manipulation, and lack of empathy, which can make the divorce process a nightmare.

https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/blog/long-distance-custody-schedules

Long-Distance Custody Schedules: Examples, Logistics & Expert Advice Custody experts share long-distance schedules examples for 50/50, 60/40, 70/30 and 80/20 parenting plans. Learn the best long-distance custody schedules by age.

https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/blog/challenges-and-strategies-never-married-co-parenting

Challenges and Strategies for Never-Married Co-Parenting Co-parents who were never married face unique challenges. A family law attorney (and never-married co-parent) explores strategies for handling those challenges.

Yesterday Evonne had the esteemed pleasure of being awarded one of the Pro Bono Legal Aid Awards in a ceremony presented by Legal Aid of North Carolina. The awards recognize pro bono service that serves as an inspiring example to the NC legal community. We all are so very proud of Evonne's dedication to her clients, her exemplary accomplishments, and being a shining example of true leader in our community for all the right reasons. Please take a moment to view the link of moments from the awards ceremony.
https://legalaidnc.org/2023/11/01/announcing-the-inaugural-winners-of-our-pro-bono-hero-awards/

Yesterday, our amazing lead litigation paralegal, Jennifer Gaff was one of the many coordinators of the Continuing Legal Education seminar named "One Fell Swoop: Custody, Military, Mental Health, Social Media and E-filing for Family Law Paralegals." We send many thanks to all of the wonderful and insightful speakers that were involved:
• Chief Judge Ned W. Mangum, NC District Court – 10th Judicial District, Raleigh
• Melissa R. Bawden, Wake County Family Court Office, Raleigh
• Katie H. King, Wake Family Law Group, Raleigh
• Katrina Kuzyszyn-Jones, Psy.D., KKJ Psychology, Durham
• Justin L. Mauney, Wake Family Law Group, Raleigh
• Fred M. Morelock, Tharrington Smith LLP, Raleigh
• Helen M. O'Shaughnessy, Wake Family Law Group, Raleigh
• Vanessa N. Puhak, Law Offices of Mark E. Sullivan PA, Raleigh
• Ketan P. Soni, Soni Brendle PLLC, Charlotte

We're excited to announce a new addition to our Raleigh Law Center family! Please meet our new Documents Retention Paralegal, Nicole Rogerson! Nicole is already making name for herself by being a dependable, proactive, and insightful member of our team! We see nothing but wonderful things for this amazing young woman!

Do you have "Flying Monkeys" involved in your family law matter? The people can some in many forms such as family and friends. See how these sometimes, well meaning people, can be disruptive to your case. Listen to Kristen and Evonne discuss this topic and how to handle the "Flying Monkeys" that may be involved in your divorce, child custody, or any other portion of your family law case.

Flying Monkeys in High Conflict Divorce Join family law attorney, Evonne, and Kristin as they discuss how flying monkeys play an incendiary role in a high conflict divorce. Evonne is a North Carolina Board Certified Family Law Specialist and Certified Parent Coordinator licensed to practice in North Carolina, California, and the District....

"Grey Divorces" are a more common place occurrence that we have recognized and handled at our firm. These divorces are actually on the rise. If you are contemplating divorce later in life, this article gives insight on the matter and of course, as always, Raleigh Law Center is always here to assist you if needed.

More Baby Boomers are living alone. One reason why: ‘gray divorce’ | CNN Rising divorce rates for people over 50 are one reason why an increasing number of older Americans are living alone.

Join Evonne and Kristin as they discuss how people with personality disorders have learned to weaponize their disorder in court. They also discuss the problems with using terminology like psychopath, sociopath, narcissist, etc. in family court and how that can actually hurt your case rather than help it.

Weaponizing Personality Disorders In Family Court Join family law attorney, Evonne, and Kristin as they discuss how people with personality disorders have learned to weaponize their disorder in court. They also discuss the problems with using terminology like psychopath, sociopath, narcissist, etc. in family court and how that can actually hurt you...

The divorce process can be emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially draining for anyone. It's always great to have good friends and family by your side through this time.☺️

Are you or someone you know having difficulty in divorcing a narcissist? If so, please listen to the next installment of the podcast:
"More Answers to Your Questions on Divorcing a Narcissist" on
Mental Health News Radio, hosted by Kristen Walker with guest speaker, family law attorney Evonne Hopkins. Evonne appears again to answer more in depth questions from listeners in regards to this topic.

Please take a moment to click on the link below to hear this insightful podcast.

More Answers to Your Questions on Divorcing a Narcissist Join Kristin and attorney, Evonne S. Hopkins, as they answer listener questions about high conflict divorce. Evonne is a North Carolina Board Certified Family Law Specialist and Certified Parent Coordinator licensed to practice in North Carolina, California, and the District of Columbia. Evonne earn...

Our very own attorney Evonne Hopkins, had the pleasure of being a guest speaker on the Mental Health News Radio podcast with host Kristin Walker on the subject of high conflict divorce.

Please join Evonne and Kristin as they discuss the topic of divorce involving a partner with narcissistic behavior patterns.

"Divorce is not easy for anyone. If you've been married to someone using coercive control, a gaslighter, a trauma creator - it becomes a high conflict endeavor to extricate yourself and your family."

During this podcast, Evonne answers the multitude of questions that listeners have sent in regarding this type of divorce process. Please feel free click the link below to listen to this informative & thought provoking podcast.

Help in High Conflict Divorce Join attorney, Evonne Hopkins, and Kristin as they talk about divorce involving a narcissist. Divorce is not easy for anyone. If you've been married to someone using coercive control, a gaslighter, a trauma creator - it becomes a high conflict endeavor to extricate yourself and your family. Evonne a...

What a wonderful event! Our very own Evonne Hopkins was one of the many distinguished guest speakers at the Raleigh Professional Woman's Forum 35th Anniversary Panel Discussion. Evonne had the pleasure to speak upon the discussion regarding what's changed and what has not for women in the workforce. Please review the below link for more detailed information about this outstanding event!

https://rpwf.net/content.aspx?page_id=722&club_id=584623&emtid=211953918498&mtid=268190032286&ht=0

Protecting Yourself While Divorcing a High-Conflict Person
These tips can help you prepare and manage the legal and psychological process.
KEY POINTS
• High-conflict people often have Cluster B personality disorders or traits, which can get worse during a separation or divorce.
• Abusive behavior and false allegations are more common when separating or divorcing from someone with a high-conflict personality.
• It helps to carefully prepare for the predictable behavior of a high-conflict person when separating and going through the divorce process.
High-conflict people are preoccupied with blaming others, use a lot of all-or-nothing thinking, often have unmanaged emotions, and may engage in extreme behaviors, as I have explained in prior posts. They may or may not have Cluster B personality disorders, such as narcissistic, borderline, or antisocial. When they are faced with the loss of an intimate relationship, such as a marriage, close relationship, or dating relationship, they often escalate their extreme behaviors and can become abusive and/or make false allegations in public and in court. In the best of cases, going through a divorce involves several legal decisions and an emotional roller coaster. The following tips can help prepare for and manage these problematic behaviors when a high-conflict person is involved.
1. Prepare Yourself to Be Safe
Abusive behavior and false allegations are common for people with high-conflict personalities, and such behavior can catch you by surprise. If a spouse has engaged in domestic violence, the risks of more violence often go up at the time of separation, not down. If a high-conflict partner has borderline personality disorder, they may feel abandoned and go into an abandonment rage. If a high-conflict partner has antisocial personality disorder, they may become violent in order to prevent the loss of power and control over their partner. Likewise, a high-conflict spouse may make false allegations against you in order to discredit you in public and in court. Having a safe place to go may help you protect yourself physically from abuse. Keeping accurate notes about confrontations may help you in future court hearings when defending yourself against false allegations.
2. Prepare Yourself Legally
When dealing with a high-conflict person, it helps to get legal information as soon as possible, so you know what can and can’t happen in your case. Many times a high-conflict spouse will threaten, “You’ll never see your kids again,” or “I’ll get all your money in court,” or “I’ll tell the judge what a jerk you are.” Most of these are uninformed angry statements and very unlikely to happen. For example, family courts want both parents involved in raising their children. Many states have community property laws or equitable property laws that require the equal division of most of the assets. And telling the judge you’re a jerk is usually irrelevant to the decisions that need to be made and the judges don’t want to hear it. However, there are many legal loopholes—and high-conflict people often find them—so that it’s wise to get a 1-hour consultation with a family lawyer in your area as soon as possible, even before you separate if you can.
3. Prepare Yourself Emotionally
High-conflict people with Cluster B personality disorders are often domineering, vindictive, and intrusive. When they feel defensive, these traits seem to increase. Many people are quite surprised (and others are not) to find out that their best friend and marriage partner for many years has now become very manipulative and persuasive in court. Yet, at the same time, you are expected to share the children and exchange them on a regular schedule, which means you may need to encounter them on a regular basis. In order to keep your cool and your own emotional well-being, it helps to have key support people in your life. You may have family or friends you can rely on, but don’t over-use them or they may burn out. It’s often wise to find a counselor who can help you deal with the emotional roller coaster and also may help you understand or predict your former partner’s high-conflict behavior.
4. Communicate Wisely
Everything you write in emails, text messages, and on social media can be used against you in court. Plus, the way you correspond with your soon-to-be ex-spouse can make a lot of difference, in terms of whether you escalate their high-conflict behavior or decrease it. I always recommend the BIFF method of communicating in writing, which stands for brief (just a paragraph usually), informative (objective information, no emotions, no opinions, no arguments), friendly (“thanks for responding…”), and firm (just try to end the conversation without any negative comments that invite further responses). This approach helps keep things calm, and also looks good in court, if your email conversations end up there. I developed this method over a decade ago and I have co-authored a book specifically for separated and divorced parents on this subject: BIFF for CoParent Communication.
5. Try to Negotiate
While it may seem unlikely to work, most divorces cases do settle out of court, even when a high-conflict partner is involved. By negotiating, you can keep things calmer and the high-conflict person has less reason to become defensive. Since divorce laws in most places have been established for decades, the standards they use are well-known and can be used to reach agreements. It can help to use a family mediator and/or lawyers who are good at negotiating.
6. Prepare for Court
Try negotiation first, but always be aware that you may end up in court with a high-conflict partner. Keep good records, communicate respectfully, gather information about all accounts (before you separate if possible), and get good consultation from a lawyer when you have legal questions. If you have court hearings or a trial, it really helps to hire a lawyer. While many people represent themselves these days in family court, when you are dealing with a high-conflict person you will need to be ready for their manipulations plus their lawyer’s knowledge and skills.
Conclusion
Using these principles, many people have managed their divorces successfully, even with a high-conflict partner. For more on how to protect yourself in a divorce, see my book Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The second edition is now available and addresses all of these topics and more.

Family Court and Cluster B Personality Disorders Family Court and Cluster B Personality Disorders

What a wonderful fundraiser sponsored by Lillian's List of NC. https://lillianslist.org/

https://www.divorcemag.com/blog/what-about-grandparents-in-divorce

What About Grandparents in Divorce? Grandparents' rights are not automatic, though; you must apply for them through the court or try to resolve the issues with a qualified mediator.

https://www.divorcemag.com/blog/5-ways-to-prepare-before-filing-for-divorce

5 Ways to Prepare Before Filing for Divorce You must prepare before filing for divorce. Preparing for your split can help you avoid many of the biggest struggles of ending a marriage.

https://www.divorceclub.com/support/divorce-shock-getting-first-24-hours/

The divorce shock - Getting through the first 24 hours - Divorce Club Let’s face it, none of us expected to get divorced.

https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/blog/how-can-you-help-regulate-your-childs-emotions-during-parenting-time-transitions

How Can You Help Regulate Your Child’s Emotions During Parenting Time Transitions | OurFamilyWizard How can you help your child regulate their emotions during parental transitions? Here are seven strategies to consider.

Lyra just wanted to say "hello everyone!"

Our Lead Litigation Paralegal Jennifer has been featured in paralegal division of the NC Bar Association website. We're so lucky to have her paralegal expertise as part of our firm!

https://view.email.ncbar.org/?qs=7bb5f52f1b9405c2d705d8f9f5d6b3065a63e9280a21622053d0867d845832b165f3ac0231f65eaa5c0bbaf4f01246a4df0a7c36c5e60a6110ac10b0f3cfc9b33b7ad32256180276

https://divorcedmoms.com/updating-your-estate-plan-after-divorce-5-changes-to-make

Updating Your Estate Plan After Divorce: 5 Changes To Make However, neglecting to update your estate plan after divorce can have potentially tragic consequences. And you shouldn’t wait until the divorce is final to rework your plan—you should update it as soon as you realize the split is inevitable.

https://divorcedmoms.com/how-will-be-legally-impacted-if-your-ex-remarries

How Will You Be Legally Impacted If Your Ex Remarries? Divorce orders aren’t the only thing that can affect your financial life if your ex remarries. Retirement funds and estate plans often need to be reconfigured also.

https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/blog/traveling-kids-after-divorce

Traveling With Kids After Divorce: 5 Key Considerations for Co-Parents Keep your vacation planning as smooth as possible by knowing these guidelines for traveling with kids after a divorce.

https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/blog/three-tips-celebrating-mothers-fathers-day-after-divorce

3 Tips for Celebrating Mother's and Father's Day After Divorce Here are three simple strategies for ways to help your kids celebrate Mother's and Father's Day.