Elisabeth Herrera Counseling

Some days require us to do less. The last thing we need on those days is judgement, or added pressure. Being attuned with, and adjusting to our needs, is one of the kindest things we can do for ourselves 💙

We tend to over complicate things for ourselves, and in this case there is no need. Consider what would make your environment a little bit more comfortable, and do that for yourself.

Winter Break Meal Service 2023 No-cost lunches will be offered for pick up at eight schools during Winter Break 2023.

Winter can be a challenging emotional time. Suicidal thoughts are often things people deal with in isolation, and it doesn’t have to be that way ❤️‍🩹 I want to highlight this important 24 hour resource for those times when things are especially hard. The 988 Lifeline is available 24/7 via text, phone, and online chat.

Donated items are provided to our unsheltered neighbors by our Outreach Navigators and also help to supply our 24-hour immediate needs station that is accessible to Salem Police Department and Salem Fire Department. We have limited supplies, and these items are always in demand, but especially when temperatures drop. Your donations are greatly appreciated!

Health at Every Size (HAES) is a concept you may have heard more and more over the past few years. I've been wanting to learn more about treatment for disordered eating, as I was finding that it was present in many of my clients, although was not the initial reason they sought out therapy.

Original Source: "𝘏𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘩 𝘈𝘵 𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘚𝘪𝘻𝘦: 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘩 𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘞𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵"- by Lindo Bacon, PhD

OCD typically gets associated with wanting things clean and orderly. It is much more nuanced than that, as are most things related to the brain. One behavior that can indicate OCD is reassurance seeking as a means of coping with the anxiety associated with a worry.

Reassurance seeking can be the compulsion associated with the obsessive thought.

If you received the message that you weren’t wanted, by family, friends, teachers, etc., you may find yourself seeking out relationships that give you an opportunity to be needed.

ADHD is a hot topic these days. This is by no means a new disorder, there has just been a lot of light brought to it in the recent years as research has taught us more about it.

There have been false claims about diet impacting ADHD, or as a means of treating ADHD. The research on this is very limited.

If you are a person working with people, I encourage you to seek out information and training (when applicable) to better understand this prevalent neuro-spicy disorder.

Go to therapy ❤️

This book is a game changer. It's the first in a series of 3.

📖📖📖

Source: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, Gibson, L. C., PsyD

Broken down, we need people to acknowledge and apologize when we experience a trauma. When people say "I don't know why I can't get over it," my next question is if the trauma has been appropriately acknowledged.

[Coping Skills]

This conversation comes up most when I'm talking about closing, and clients panic because they still experience anxiety, depressive, ADHD symptoms, etc.

Life is always going to have challenges. The symptoms aren't always the concern for me when I think about overall functioning, because when something stressful happens, it's expected that anxiety symptoms will be present.

Too often I hear self invalidation because other people don’t feel the way they do about a particular thing. We must not engage in this narrative; it’s yet another example of comparison that leads to nothing helpful in the moment.

Your feelings are yours. That is all that matters.

"I Called A Lawyer The Next Day": 32 Divorced People Shared The Moment They Knew It Was Over

Copays, out of pocket costs, AND out of network costs

These are a few examples of bids for connection within relationships. What they all have in common is that they are small; these are not grand gestures, nor do they require a lot of time.

It's worth reading Dr. Gottman's perspective on these bids.

If you feel nervous that a relationship will fall apart if you make a mistake or upset them, that is a clear indicator that the relationship is not healthy.

Health relationships have open, safe, and clear communication. That means no silent treatment, no manipulation, no lying, no threats.

In 2023, we are healing.
🌱🌷

A regulated nervous system is the key to using logical coping skills. If you're already in the fight or flight response, you can't use coping skills that require you to think until you're at baseline; the same goes for kids!

Regulating the nervous system starts in your body. (breathing exercises, using your senses, yoga, mindfulness exercises, grounding techniques)

We learn a lot of foundational things about interpersonal relationships from our family of origin.

If you weren't taught how to have healthy conflict, or how to have difficult conversations in an effective way from your original teachers, these things may be hard for you as you grow up. Navigating these gaps is challenging, but not impossible.

If you've been in therapy, you know that we do ask questions about your childhood experiences and family, even though you may not be coming to therapy for that, because it gives us so much valuable information about how you approach relationships.

Automatic thoughts are...automatic. We have to be intentional about catching them when they come. A good question to fall back on, is "how helpful is this thought?"

Be kind to your mind.

In childhood, a key foundational piece of secure attachment is the belief that our caregivers love us, without any conditions. This means that the mistakes, ugly moments, power struggles and poor choices all end in the same place for the child: love and acceptance.

If this isn't present, children have to interpret what behaviors will gain them the love and acceptance they need, or could start labeling themselves as bad (vs. their behaviors).

If now, as an adult, you are able to recognize that your caregivers' love was conditional, take a moment to consider how that influences your interpersonal relationships.

Attention: Healthcare workers: anyone working in a healthcare setting of any kind (in any US state)

&

Mental Health Professionals that want to offer their time

The Emotional PPE Project was born at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic as a support measure for frontline workers. The impacts of the pandemic aren’t gone, and working in healthcare hasn’t stopped being difficult. It’s a database of mental health professionals that are offering pro bono virtual sessions to healthcare staff.

Your friends hear you. Your kids hear you. Your partner hears you.

Please keep in mind: 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘷𝘴 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘵
You may be making an off-handed comment about someone, or an observation that you don’t intend to hold any weight; the person in your life that is struggling is going to hear that comment, and may no longer feel that you’re a safe person to come to.

When I am having a hard time holding space for the emotions of someone, it’s because it’s bringing up my own s**t, and isn’t their responsibility to shrink themselves for my comfort.

Let’s just try to do better for each other. Progress, not perfection. ❤️‍🩹

📳 988 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁 (𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝗼𝗿 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹 24/7)

"Well I had to deal with ___________, and I was fine, so you should be fine"

"I went through much worse and you never heard me complaining"

You have heard these phrases, I'd almost guarantee it. The problem is that these expectations for others are invalidating, AND don't allow for individual differences. Comparison can be helpful at times, but is almost never helpful when someone is telling you their individual experience around struggles.

that's it. that's the tweet.