Ray Doktor, Psy. D.

When we are going through our healing, we still have to keep our ego in check. While processing, it’s important to remember that those around us could be going through something more challenging than us.

Just because we got the “spiritual download” or “truth bombs” that pulled up the veil over our eyes to see clearer how our parents didn’t listen to us, crossed our boundaries, or that our healing begins by expressing ourselves authentically with others, doesn’t mean others are ready or available to hear us.

As emotional as it might feel, as excited as we might be to share what we learned from our healing process, or as important as it might feel to just say what’s on our mind now, doesn’t mean others are supposed to drop everything that is going on in their lives to listen to us.

Our healing journey often reveals that those who hurt us in the past may still not be ready to listen. They might get defensive, feel ashamed, or deny the events because they can't handle the truth.

*** Why do people who are supposed to love and care about us reject our experiences? ***

It’s often because they are still hurt, carrying guilt, or were so stressed that they don't remember the events as we do. For example, my son’s mother forgot he had minor surgery at four years old because she had PTSD and was in fight or flight mode, unable to integrate those experiences.

Even though we are all worthy of love and hope others accept and hear us, no one is obligated to listen to us or agree with our perspective. Just because we’re going through a dark night of the soul, we shouldn't expect others to commiserate with us.

Hopefully, we have someone close to us who will listen, but it’s our responsibility to make our processing sacred and not leak our energy. We shouldn’t disempower ourselves by expecting those who hurt us to suddenly care.

For example, if you feel like sending an email to that one person, write it immediately, but don't send it just yet. Pause for a week, reread it, and see if your feelings transform. Share it with a trusted friend if you still want to send it. You might realize that you’ve shifted your consciousness without sending the email, avoided further emotional injury, and preserved your energy for things you enjoy, like listening to music, dancing, or taking a ride through the mountains.

Life can be good without being codependent on an apology, hug, or an “I love you.” Surround yourself with people, places, and beliefs where you’re celebrated! 🎉💖✨

If you get defensive about feedback, you will constantly experience subtle suffering because your soul wants to fly, but you’re afraid to grow.

Many of us adopt protective behaviors to avoid pain. While crucial for survival, these mechanisms can hinder growth and openness to new experiences.

Many religions aim to teach values, conduct, and ethics, but they often struggle to fully integrate compassion into their spiritual principles and real-world living.

Call me old-fashioned, but I only take advice from those who model what I want to create in my life ❤️

Discover the transformative power of ‘All It Takes is One’ and join countless readers in their journey to self-improvement 🌟 ✨ Dive into your personal evolution with a book that’s received a five-star rating across the board! 📚⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I’m blushing! Incredible reviews keep coming in: ‘This is one of the best popular psychology books I have ever read!’

Every time a new friend like Fred Kessler picks up my book, it fills me with excitement, and I’m eager to see how the experience unfolds for each reader. 📚✨ Whether you’ve watched my videos or read my posts, you know I can either be quite wordy or perhaps not directly answer questions you might have. The book serves as a comprehensive manual, offering a foundation for the work I’ve been doing since 1995. 📖👀

The reviews have been overwhelmingly positive. The feedback from various readers has been illuminating and does an excellent job of articulating the essence of my book.

After admiring the reviews of Gregg Braden and Joe Dispenza’s works, I aspired for similar acclaim. Thankfully, such praise is now a reality for my work, and I feel truly blessed. 🌟🙏

Here is one of those reviews:

“Dr. Ray Doktor is an individual who has multiple decades of experience helping people who thought they could never achieve their life’s goals. However, the doctor has a theory that he has put to the test many times over the years. He believes that most people have a single belief about themselves and their capabilities (or lack thereof) that is holding them back.

Now, for the first time, Doktor has put pen to paper and described the techniques he has used to help so many people. This book should offer all readers profound insights into who they are and what’s holding them back. The advice given within can help you achieve both your personal and professional goals. You can accomplish what you never dreamed possible, and reading this book can be the start of your metamorphosis into someone and something greater than you ever dreamed possible.”

The last time I launched a physical product was in 2001, heavily promoting it 🚀. Since then, my projects have been more digital, like forming a band or starting a business.

Back in 2001, I believed my album would save my relationship, bring financial freedom, and enable a lifestyle filled with fun and travel 🌍. Unfortunately, none of those expectations materialized. In fact, it led to one of the darkest nights of my soul, despite having a strong radio campaign and five songs on various stations 📻. There were hungrier musicians out there, working harder and enjoying the process more than I was.

I, on the other hand, was miserable. It was also when I found more joy in coaching and helping others, reaching a point where the music business no longer appealed to me. I didn't need validation anymore, and I had made peace with my parents. Though I still had many personal issues to heal, my desire to become a rockstar was merely compensating for the emptiness I felt in my life 🎸.

This is why many of us believe that external achievements can improve our lives, but they often serve as mere Band-Aids. Even if we earn enough to pay off debts, we might find ourselves back at square one, feeling emotionally and spiritually empty. The universe often shows us that not everything works out as planned.

Fast forward to 2024, leaving the music business was the scariest yet best decision I've ever made. That choice led my life in a new direction. I obtained my doctorate in clinical psychology, helped over 6,000 clients, and discovered joys that no paycheck or linear thinking could predict back in 2001 🎓🧠.

From where you stand now, if you're living a life that's not authentic, you'll face more challenges until you make that pivotal decision to start living true to yourself. A hidden belief I still struggle with occasionally is whether I can truly trust God, the process of life, and my own decisions 🙏.

There is no certainty in life, but if you're discontent with what you see, it's a sign that your current thoughts and feelings are shaping your reality. Whatever risks you contemplate taking will likely lead to better outcomes than what you've experienced so far. I've learned to not let fear hold me back. The insights I've gained are shared in my book, a bestseller that I wrote from a place of authenticity, enjoying the journey that still unfolds 📖.

You can find the link to get the book in the comments below.

Authentic success can be measured by your smile.

🚀 Today is the day!!! 📚 My book “All It Takes is One” is available right now for as low as $1.99 for a limited time. Please help me become a bestseller by purchasing it today (April 17th). 🌟 I packed 30 years of rapid breakthrough coaching into a simple, applicable, actionable read. 📈 The link to purchase the book is in the comment feed. 🤩

Ray Doktor, Psy. D. Ray Doktor, Psy. D., is a pioneer in the field of bridging psychology and Eastern philosophies to te

Every aspect of our life should be celebrated or honored in a way that makes sense to us and helps us grow. 🌿 See how far we have come and integrate new awareness into our lives with actionable steps. 🌟

To honor my accomplishment of getting my first book published and out there for the world to receive on April 17, I'm also having a magnolia tree planted on my property. 📚🌳 It symbolizes planting new roots into my new becoming, career, and consciousness. It's no different than feeling called by Spirit to change my name to something that better represents who I am today. 🌱🌸

While the big picture may appear that I created a book showing up much differently than other endeavors and pursuits I attempted to achieve.

Let me share an example using George Foreman's story. 🥊 After his near-death experience, George Foreman surrendered his ego to God, became a preacher, and walked away from boxing for a long time. When he returned in his 40s, he was wiser. In his 20s, he missed out on being present for his children growing up and the beauty of life. In his 40s, while training to become heavyweight champion of the world for the second time, he connected to nature, was present, and noticed the beauty of life as he trained, this time being older, with his heart wide open. 🏞️

I'm excited for people who are skeptical of the coaching industry or did not have positive results with therapists to read my upcoming book. I validate all your beliefs, but I also offer solutions and ways to bypass the charlatans and BS. 📘

✨ Drop a comment below to get on my notification list for when the book comes out. I look forward to seeing how your life unfolds for the best. 🌟

It’s becoming more real and an exciting reality. 🌟

I just finished recording a podcast with Mark Victor Hansen for the launch of my book. 🎙️

It was amazing how much he praised it and shared with the audience how profound it is, predicting it will be a great seller. 📚

He asked me a lot of deep questions, and it was a great dialogue for people to understand what’s inside the book and what to expect. 💬

This milestone is amazing, and it marks the beginning of something much bigger than me. 🌱

Throughout this process, I'm learning about life, such as being OK to celebrate my victories and asking friends for help in getting it out there. It's a learning curve, but a valuable one. 🌟

🚀

I am really nervous about my book launch on April 17th! 🚀📚

It’s not because I believe this will define my career or success, or because I have an “idea” 💡 that this one big thing will make my life better, and if the book doesn’t sell, I will consider it a failure.

It’s that I created a specific modality similar to Dr. Joe Dispenza, who put forth spiritual concepts or topics that were not yet scientifically qualified 🔬, especially in his first book "Evolve Your Brain: The Science of Changing Your Mind," which led to backlash.

My approach to coaching triggers the traditional psychotherapeutic realm. Those who believe healing trauma or problems takes a long time, or that you will have to carry psychological wounds forever, or just manage them, are challenged by my methods. 🧠💪

During supervision, I used to have peers and colleagues doubt me in front of my supervisor, even though patients were getting healed and leaving the clinic. In other words, the proof was in the clients, not my words, but they still argued for their limitations. 🤔🧘

This book could challenge psychologists and psychotherapists no differently than cell biologist Dr. Bruce Lipton, whose views challenge conventional medical beliefs about genetics and the influence of the environment on gene expression, and for Dr. Joe Dispenza, due to his emphasis on mind-body connections, meditation, and alternative healing methods.

I have never shared this out loud, and it is part of the reason why I took so long to put myself out there. Writing a book about spirituality, the law of attraction, and positivity will elicit less resistance than receiving criticism from the medical industry. 🌱🙏

But… this is not about me, but about sharing how easy, quick, clear, transformation, and healing could happen for everyone.

More and more, the coaching industry is saturated with untrained, inept coaches. Trauma-informed therapists do not understand the shadows of trauma, and traditional therapists are stuck in “process” rather than the solution and helping clients embody change.

This is one of the reasons why this book was written. It's been exciting hearing from publishers who specialize in self-development sharing with me how they've learned a lot by reading it as it has been edited.

Pick up a copy for yourself so you can break the habits you've been trying to break for years. I've put the notification link in the comment section so you can be notified when the book is out. You will also be provided with a link to purchase it.

Ever caught yourself feeling like life is a cozy little greenhouse, safe but small? 🌱 We all find comfort in the familiar, much like a sunflower seed nestled in a jar, shielded from the storm yet limited by glass walls.

Imagine, though, if one day the walls vanished. How tall would you stand? How boldly could you bloom? 🌻 This is the hidden strength within us, the untapped potential waiting for a crack in the jar to break through.

My latest book, "All It Takes Is One," dives into the essence of our self-imposed jars. It's about those moments of realization when you see that the safety of the jar is also a barrier to the sun. 🌞 It's a call to challenge the winds, to risk the rain, and to grow beyond the glass ceiling into the boundless sky.

Uncover this transformative journey and join me in exploring just how vast your branches can spread when you choose growth over comfort. Are you ready to shatter the glass? Let’s find out together. 📖✨

Don't stay trapped in the jar. Join me in breaking through to something greater. Get on my notification list here, and let's break through our jars together! 💥🌿

https://raydoktor.com/book-notification/

Talk about making a splash! 🌊 This Tuesday, I rocked my presentation, and boy, did it show - literally. Despite the gray shirt and T-shirt defense, my armpits couldn't hide my fervor on the projector screen. 😅 But hey, sweat signals success, right? Out of 11 attendees on a quiet Tuesday night, 4 reached out for coaching the very next day! 🚀🌃 That's unheard of, even with crowds of 50!

Embracing the beauty of imperfection, I whipped up a last-minute slideshow that turned into the ultimate bullet points for my book's content. 📚✨ Funny thing, now in the thick of marketing, I find myself a bit fuzzy on the details I penned down. 🤷‍♂️ Even had a 'Gary Zukav moment' when discussing it recently - you know, that "Oh, did I write that?" look. 😲

As I keep sharing my teachings, the essence of my message continues to crystallize. 💎 Stay tuned and evolve with me. To get first dibs when the book drops, plus snag the e-book on Amazon for less than two bucks, check the link in the comments! 🔗👇

What's the one belief you would change about yourself? Vote/comment below!

Story: “On my flight from San Diego to Nashville yesterday, sitting in the row next to me was a 96 year old woman who hasn’t flown in 15 years. For her birthday she wanted to go to Kansas City to see her family but she was scared of flying.
She asked for this man’s hand during takeoff and then hugged him again when experiencing turbulence. This gentleman I should say, gladly took her hand, let her hold onto him, calmed her by talking to her and explaining everything that was happening, and simply was that stranger there for her.

He knew just what to do the entire flight to help. He helped her stand up to go to the restroom and watched her carefully walk down the aisle.

He held her bag, helped her get off the plane and into the wheelchair, and when she got confused wondering where her daughter went (she called her her sister), he stayed with her until she caught up with her daughter who got separated from her.

She was so grateful that she wanted him to have her flight pretzels.”

Hats off to you sir, for your kind heart and your compassion toward someone whom you’ve never met. This truly made my week 🫶🏼🙏🙌

Many of us, including myself, strive to be kind online, and it's genuinely heartwarming to see this kindness in action.I'm doing my best as well, especially with my book "All It Takes Is One" releasing on April 17. It features a key section titled "The Tao of the Heart-Centered Human," which outlines the most important life principles. This section will also be available as a downloadable PDF, perfect for displaying on your refrigerator. If you'd like to be notified upon its release, please visit https://raydoktor.com/book-notification/

Book Launch Notification

Coming soon… watch this space

Narcissism Unmasked: What You Need to Know! In this conversation, Dr. Ray Doktor and Eric Coplen discuss the concept of narcissism and its various forms. They address the misconceptions around narcissi...

Every one of us is challenged daily with questions of identity. 🤔 We ask ourselves:

Are we good enough? 🤷‍♀️
Are we making the right decisions? 🧐
Who are we becoming?
Will the person we are becoming be well-received and loved? ❤️

Sometimes, changing our hairstyle and clothes can provide a bit of excitement, 💇‍♂️👗 symbolizing shedding the old and embracing the new. ✨

However, we may still harbor residual insecurities, anger, and feelings of abandonment. 😕 In situations that trigger us, just like squeezing a lemon yields lemon juice, 🍋 pressing a human reveals what's inside: anger, impatience, and neediness. 😠😓

Imagine the anxiety when someone doesn't text back, 📱 and the relief when you find out their phone was just uncharged. 🔋 This shows we can imagine the best outcomes too, potentially feeling good every day, 🌞 irrespective of external perceptions or self-identity.

Consciousness precedes emotions—let me repeat that: consciousness precedes emotions. 🧘‍♂️

So, when your consciousness is directed towards seeing the positive and feeling good, 🌈 you might face challenges, but you'll maintain control over your emotions and life's direction. 🚀 You got this, and I believe in you! 😊🌟🙌"

When I was younger, part-time modeling in Los Angeles initially boosted my ego, but I soon discovered the drawbacks. I was single and faced rejections from women who preferred not to date another actor or someone whose self-worth depended on looks. This insight resonated with me, as the industry often lacked depth among those striving for stardom.

As Max grew up, people occasionally suggested he should model, especially given his height—an advantage I never had. However, I consciously steered him away from that world, wanting him to cultivate his identity based on genuine passion, awareness, and his contributions to society, rather than superficial appeal.

I don’t endorse the idea of young children participating in beauty pageants or leveraging their physical appearance for gain. Often, adults impose their unfulfilled desires, unresolved issues, or even specific gender expectations onto their children before they naturally discover these aspects themselves.

I take joy in celebrating my child’s individuality and expressions. While I love photographing my boys, I find it amusing when they imitate the poses they see, like the ones Max has spotted in my old photo albums.

For him, it’s a playful act—perhaps imitating his dad—and I aim to maintain that innocence. I believe that by nurturing our children’s unique qualities, we best protect their purity.

Well, the mystery is finally out of the box. As some of you already know, Max came into my life when he was 5 1/2 months old. His mother hadn’t shared much of her family history with me. In fact, I did a 23andMe genetic breakdown to know exactly what was in his blood and where he came from.

Max has always been the biggest kid in his class, and I’m not just talking about height but weight too. He outweighs even one boy who’s a half inch taller than him by 30 pounds.

Hanging out with Max’s 6’2” brother, the secret came out of the bag. I don’t know why no one ever told me this, but I discovered their great-great-grandfather was 7 feet tall! This explains the mystery of why, when I would take Max to school and we were around other children whose parents were both over 6 feet tall, my child was still taller.

I’m 5’8”, and his mother is 5’6”. Max is literally like Buddy the Elf from the movie “Elf” when he sits on his father’s lap; he’s huge. Max is still nine years old. There’s the possibility he could be 6’5” at his full height! His older brother said he was already bigger than him at his age.

You are a force of nature, a blend of stillness and beautiful, grounded chaos that instills a yearning to rediscover you with each new day.

Your smile and compassion, like the Grand Canyon’s carvings, break down rigidity and have softened me, reconnecting me with my innocence.

It may seem that I am often the teacher, assertive and knowledgeable, yet it is your heart that holds wisdom for us both.

While I am adept at navigating and decision-making, it is you who cultivates happiness through your love and presence.

I preach, while you embody the state of consciousness many of us aspire to attain simply by being yourself.

I may appear confident, but it is your vulnerability and perpetual studentship in the journey of life that endow you with wisdom surpassing mine.

Thank you for the chapters of my new life and the space to settle into what I once thought I had to strive for.

If death were to arrive today, I would say I have already dwelled in heaven within your love, your embraces, and the ocean of serenity, fire, and eternal expansion your being creates.

For me, it was all this on Valentine’s Day, but every day is truly a lover’s day in your essence.

Thank you, my love...

✨They call us “The Elders”

We were born in the 60s - 70s.
We grew up in the 70s - 80s.
We studied, dated, and partied in the 80s - 90s.

We learned into the 80s-90s.
We settled into the 2000s.
We grew wiser in 2010.

And we’re firmly beyond 2020.
Seems like we lived in eight different decades...

TWO different centuries...
TWO millennials apart...

We’ve gone from phone with a long-distance caller operator to video calling anywhere in the world.
We’ve gone from slides to YouTube, vinyl records to online music, handwritten letters to email and WhatsApp.
From live gaming radio, to white TV and black to color TV and then to 3D 4K HDTV.
Went to the video store and now watching Netflix.

We met the first computers, punched cards, disks and now we have gigabytes and megabytes on our smartphones.
We wore shorts all childhood and then pants, Oxford, rockets, full shells and blue jeans.
We dodged childhood paralysis, meningitis, polio, tuberculosis, swine flu and now COVID-19.

We used to ride skates, tricycles, bicycles, mopeds, unleaded or diesel cars and now we drive hybrids or electric.
Yes, we have been through a lot, but what a life we have had!.

They could describe us as “specimens,” people who had an analog childhood and digital adulthood.
We be like “I have seen it all”!
Our generation has literally lived and witnessed more than anyone else in every dimension of life.

It is our generation that has literally adapted to “CHANGE”. “

All members of a very special generation, which will be UNIQUE!

The old with the young in it.