Coaching with Ewelina

🇺🇸 Here is English version, translated by me.

This happened many years ago:

I moved out of our house.

I was staying with a friend of mine.

The rest of the world didn't know anything about it.

It was too embarrassing.

Only a few close friends were aware of what was really going on in my life.

So now that you have this "background" imagine:

It's Saturday evening.

I'm sitting on the floor in the living room of the house where I am temporarily living.

I am writing in my journal, crying.

I am filled with fear, despair.

I am terrified of what could happen next.

But I am determined to “sit with my pain”.

Why?

Because I know this is supposed to be "healthy".

I shouldn't be avoiding myself.

I should give myself space to feel what’s been brewing inside for a while.

So I am sitting, writing in my journal and since I am writing my thoughts and thoughts create feelings... I am suffering.

( FYI I had no clue that my thoughts created my feelings back then. NO CLUE)

So I'm looking for a solution...

Maybe I will find it in this pain.

It’s not an easy task.

I am trying to find something I’ve never been able to find before.

I don’t know how to do it…
I am searching but I don’t have a map.
I don’t have directions.
I don’t have a clue.

I spent that whole evening suffering and crying.

Have you ever had this happen to you?
Have you ever been in this spot?
Where you are so desperate for a solution to your problem, you are willing to go through the dark night of the soul?

Drop into heavy emotion for a long period of time, searching for wisdom?

Solution to a problem that seems to be 100% outside of your control?

Isn’t this what you're supposed to do, when you're stuck?

Feel the pain?

Feel the depth of suffering?

Yes. Yes that is healthy... but not for that long.

There is no need…

It's good to connect with the pain you are feeling.

It is good to witness it.

Absolutely, but staying in that spot ALL EVENING? Not neccessary! Not for 4 hours!

The only benefit to this suffering is that today I feel inspired to write to you about it.

It was so heavy, it's easy for me to go back into it... I remember the depth of this pain well.

Today this experience gives a great contrast to what I do when heavy emotions emerge within me.

Today I would never treat myself to such a "ride".

Why? I know it's not needed.

I’ve learned tools that help me address it in a very effective way.

The art of transmutation.

When dealing with difficult emotions you need to use your prefrontal cortex.

Feel the pain, but also analyze it.

Ask questions.

Get as much info as possible.

Find out how the mental body creates this emotion within the emotional body.

How the energy of the emotional body affects the physical body. Where exactly?

So is suffering necessary? Yes, for a bit…
It’s really beneficial if you use it:
- to understand yourself,
- to feel the contrast and find the depth of experience,
- and then give yourself exactly what you need after going through something this heavy.

This is the value of personal development.
The value of knowing how to transmute pain.

When you know what to do with your emotions, when you find yourself in a really difficult situation, You don't have to suffer like I did that evening. All You need is a moment. Just a moment.

So the next time you feel:
- despair,
- frustration,
- sadness,
- terrified,
- nervous,
- longing,
- fear,
- or any other "heavy feeling"
Thanks to the previous analysis, you will already have a lot of information about it,
it will be so much easier for you to recognize it.

You will know how to handle it well.

How to experience it consciously and how to take care of yourself after.

You won’t be sweeping your pain under the carpet.

You won’t be pretending you are not suffering.

You are going to be important enough to yourself to do something about it.

This is self love in action.

This is being kind to yourself.

This is knowing how to be your best friend.
Yes friends, there are tools available that help us create that incredible relationship with ourselves.

I teach those tools during sessions to my 1/1 clients.

You’ve got everything you need.

I will just teach you how to access it and utilize it.

Do you find yourself on a rollercoaster?

You have great days and then you have many, many very bad days.

You feel like you are not fully in control.

But you are ready to change it.

You realize that unless You do something about it, nothing will change.

Reach out.

I will help.

Send me a Direct Message with 3 possible times you could meet with me for a 30 minute online talk. Give me 3 options, and I will choose the one that works best with my schedule.

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Do you ever feel like your life is completely out of your control? Like there is always something going wrong.
You solve one problem and another pops up...
I know the feeling.
To get a grip and stop the constant up and downs, we have to find steadiness. Where? Within.
How? By taking time to introspect, to observe, to process, to plan.
Can’t manage life if you don’t know what you are managing, right?
We can’t process the painful emotion if we keep on avoiding it.
We won’t find peace if we are not looking for it.
We can be in charge of our emotions.
How? By managing our mind.
This is what I help my clients do. Want to know more?
Let’s talk.

2x4
Imagine: you at the lowest point of your life.

You go back to her and talk to her about your life now.

You say: this is what I am dealing with…. These are my problems today…

And she says back: I would do anything to have problems like these!

👉🏼 You are in the reality she dreamed of.

👉🏼 You are further ahead than you give yourself credit for.

And if you are stuck, talk to me.

It’s not complicated. You can get out.

I help with that.

Do you feel lonely often?

Do you feel disconnected, misunderstood?

Over one in five people worldwide reported feeling loneliness “a lot of the day yesterday,” according to a recent Gallup survey.
Look for link to the article in the comments.

Many of us experience loneliness.
What helps? Self-belonging.

❤️ Developing a deep loving relationship with yourself so that no matter what's going on, you have your best friend on your side... yourself.

When the inner dialog shifts, you start allowing yourself to be who you truly are.

Not who you think others expect you to be.

Building connections from that point feels much better.

You feel inner freedom to be who you are, so others get to see the real you, not some "perfected, people pleasing version of you."

You know how to take care of yourself so you can contribute to relationship from a healthier place. You are no longer "needy".

People are naturally drawn to you.

You don't have to look for friends.

Others want to be in your company.

Need help creating this new relationship with yourself? Reach out.

I specialize in supporting American and European immigrant women.

I am here to educate and empower you to embrace your authentic self, to thrive, and to find a true sense of belonging, even when you feel alone, alienated, or disconnected.

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❤️ Women's Journaling Group meets at 7pm tonight! ❤️
Let's dig to our inner wisdom ladies.
You deserve to be seen.

Link to zoom in the comments.
If you have any questions, send me DM.
Can't wait to see you tonight!

👉 Do you journal? Want to start?
Ladies, please join me tonight at 7pm EST on zoom and let's journal together.
I will have some great prompts for you.

THIS IS FOR YOU IF:
☹️ There is a part of you that really wants a break. A real break, because life feels really heavy.
🙄 You are tired of the routine and the endless to do's. You are ready to do something different.
❤️ You want to reconnect with and explore the deep inner wisdom that dwells within you soul. You know it's there. You are ready to give it space to speak to you.
💕 You want to connect with a group of women and feel like you did something really good for yourself.
✍️You know that journaling is good for your self development but you are not sure what to write about so typically when you write you don't know if you are doing it right.

WHAT DO YOU NEED?
📕 A journal, something to write with, your favorite drink, quiet space around you so you can focus.

You won't have to share anything with the group. Only if you'd like to.

IS THIS FREE?
🌹 Yes it is. Just come.🌹

HOW TO JOIN?
There is a zoom link in the comments. click on it at 7pm and you will join.

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Happy Easter to my Christian Friends 💓💓💓

Zapraszam na warsztaty, ale najpierw parę pytań:
Czy:
👉 Jesteś tak dobra w samokrytyce jak nasza Iga Świątek w tenisie ;)
👉 Martwisz się tym co inni o tobie pomyślą?
👉 Jest ci trudno o coś poprosić? Nawet jeśli tego potrzebujesz?
👉 Ciągle odnosisz wrażenie że się poświęcasz dla innych… a oni nie doceniają twojego wysiłku?
👉 Porównujesz się z innymi kobietami i zawsze czujesz się od nich gorsza?
👉 Wiele przeszłaś w życiu więc chyba powinnaś czuć się silniejsza… ale tak nie jest.
Jeśli chociaż jeden z tych punktów ciebie opisuje zapraszam na darmowe warsztaty: “Jak wzmocnić własne poczucie wartości”.
W tych darmowych warsztatach wytłumaczę:
✅ Dlaczego nam Polkom jest tak trudno dostrzegać swoją wartość?
✅ Co powoduje niskie poczucie wartości i jaki ma to związek z niską samooceną i brakiem pewności siebie?
✅ Jak to się objawia na co dzień i jak rozpoznać czy mamy z tym problem?
✅ Jak skutecznie podnieść niskie poczucie wartości?
✅ Jak życie na emigracji "utrudnia" podnoszenie własnej wartości.
✅ Jak dokładnie to wyglądało kiedyś w moim życiu tu na emigracji i jak wygląda teraz.
Od lat pomagam emigrantkom i Amerykankom sobie z tym radzić. Jest to problem szczególnie bliski mojemu sercu bo sama przez wiele, wiele lat czułam się sama ze sobą bardzo źle. 😔 Dobrze znam ten stan i nikomu go nie życzę…
Życie z niskim poczuciem wartości jest trudne.
TO JAK SIĘ CZUJESZ SAMA ZE SOBĄ MA OGROMNY WPŁYW NA CAŁE TWOJE ŻYCIE.
Nie musisz cierpieć. Mogę ci pomóc.
Spotykamy się na zoomie w czwartek o 7pm.
W komentarzu znajdziesz “event link”.
Do zobaczenia w czwartek wieczorem

What is an upside to us interpreting the value of our energy input as luck?
Is there any?
How do you feel when you think: “Oh I just got 🍀 lucky!”
👉🏼 What does that really mean about you and about the world you live in?

👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼
🥺 “I am not capable of creating good fortune.
😞 I have to relay on something that might show up or might not, and I will benefit if it does, but if it doesn’t it makes sense because I don’t believe in the value of my own contribution anyway.”
👇🏼
Seriously. Let’s stop with this “luck” BS.
♥️ Our contribution has value. ♥️
How about we start seeing that?
👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼
Need help seeing your value? DM me.
I help women see what they are really made off.
We will schedule a complimentary consultation. you will tell me what the "problem" is and if I can help I will tell you how I would do that. ♥️

What are you doing today, your future self will thank you for? 🙋🏼‍♀️

There is “the you” right now, and “the future you” a week from now… a year, 10 years from now. 🤯
Are you taking care of her? ❤️

Have a beautiful Easter celebration this year! 🐣🐰🌷

̇yczenia

What to do to ease anxiety before going to a Christmas party?

“I hate work Christmas parties. I dread seeing people I don’t want to see. I am terrible at small talk and I always feel super awkward.’

If this is you, just reading this thought could cause you to start feeling anxious. Unfortunately anxiety is often related to overthinking. What is causing the anxiety? Your thoughts.
Our lower brain tries to protect us and give us a sense of control, but it’s actually making it worse. Stressing ahead of time, just prolongs the awful experience.
To shorten it, it’s good to engage the pre-frontal cortex. How? By utilizing our analytical and planning skills.
What is causing the anxiety? Our thoughts.
To see what thoughts give you anxiety write down your thoughts about the party:
Whom should you be at the party?
What will people think about you when you are interacting with them?
What do you think about the party overall? ( people, place, food, atmosphere)

2. Make decisions ahead of time, it will help you feel more in control.
Who are the people you want to talk to? Make a list. ( Next to each name write a few questions you could ask that person? Remember, if you are asking questions, you will be forced to listen. If you are really anxious, listening will most likely feel much safer than speaking.)
What time do you want to get there? How long do you want to stay for? Decide ahead of time.
Will I be drinking? Yes? How much. No, what will I say if someone asks me about it.
Do I want to have some desert? If so, what exactly? ( Sugar and alcohol are proinflammatory and can cause anxiety to worsen.)

3. Accept that you will be feeling anxious. How? Introduce a new thought:
I will be anxious and that’s okay. This is normal, there is nothing wrong with me.

🥰 It's Monday. 🥰
👉What is this week gonna be like?
👉 Do you have a clear picture of it or are you kind of hoping it will be okay and you will get things done.
When you are trying to remember it all your brain gets overwhelmed. No wonder. It's not even created for this task.
👇👇👇
Imagine having a very clear direction.
Knowing exactly what is happening when...
Knowing it already, not having to think about it twice.
It takes about 30 minutes to write it out ✍️ and schedule it in. Then your planner becomes your boss. You simply follow it.
This process is a beautiful gift you can give yourself.
The result it calmer, more predictable life. Less anxiety.
Highly recommended. 🥰

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🥰 Jest poniedziałek. 🥰
👉 Jak będzie wyglądał ten tydzień?
👉 Czy wiesz dokładnie co się będzie działo?
Czy może masz nadzieję, że jakimś cudem będzie w miarę dobrze i załatwisz wszystko co musisz... mimo że jest tego naprawę dużo. I samo myślenie o tym cię stresuje.
Kiedy próbujesz to wszystko pamiętać, twój mózg jest przytłoczony. Nic dziwnego. Nie jest nawet stworzony do tego zadania.
👇👇👇
Wyobraź sobie, że masz jasno określony kierunek.
Wiedząc dokładnie, co się dzieje w tym tygodniu i kiedy...
Wiesz to dziś i nie musisz się nad tym zastanawiać dwadzieścia razy.
Rozpisanie i zaplanowanie ✍️ tego co musi się wydarzyć w tym tygodniu zajmie około 30 minut. Gdy to zrobisz twój planer może się stać twoim szefem. Po prostu będziesz wykonywać wcześniej zaplanowane zadania.
Dzięki temu procesowi życie stanie się spokojniejsze i bardziej przewidywalne.
Mniej nerwówki, panikowania i stresu.
Polecam z całego serca. 🥰

Here is an example for you:
A mother of a 13 years old child says:
"I want to love my daughter, but I struggle in our relationship. I think there is something wrong with her. She should not be staying out late and hanging out with these terrible friends.🤬 Girls from a good home don’t do it. She should do what I tell her."

Do you have someone like that in your life? Maybe not a teenage daughter but a a friend that hates her job, but does make any changes, and yet every time you meet she is complaining about it. It frustrates you. “If she finally did what I tell her she would be happier.” 🤬

What’s happening here? 👉 Judgement.

These thoughts are about the other persons behavior, not about ours. Problem is we have zero power there. Zero.
Trying to change someone else so that we can feel a certain way is a waste of our time… waste of our life.
Life is just too short and too precious for this kind of nonsense.
👇👇👇
1. We can only control what we think and feel and do. Others have free will, they can and will do what they want.
2. We don’t have a relationship with another person. We have a relationship with our thoughts about them. What??? Yeah! Mind blown right? But hey! It’s great news, because our thoughts can be chosen.
This is why we practice mind management.
Why it’s beneficial to write it out:
👉 What is the problem exactly?
👉 What should they be doing differently?
👉 What do I think about it?
👉 When I think that how do I feel?
👉 How do I act?
👉 Am I loving them or judging and criticizing?

Coaches help with these kind of dilemmas… I do too. If this really hits home and you need my help, DM me. I am here to help. ☺️

Here is an example for you:
A mother of a 13 years old child says:
"I want to love my daughter, but I struggle in our relationship. I think there is something wrong with her. She should not be staying out late and hanging out with these terrible friends. Girls from a good home don’t do it. She should do what I tell her.

Do you have someone like that in your life? Maybe not a teenage daughter but a a friend that hates her job, but does make any changes, and yet every time you meet she is complaining about it. It frustrates you. “If she finally did what I tell her she would be happier.”

What’s happening here? Judgement.

These thoughts are about the other persons behavior, not about ours. Problem is we have zero power there. Zero.
Trying to change someone else so that we can feel a certain way is a waste of our time… waste of our life.
Life is just too short and too precious for this kind of nonsense.
1. We can only control what we think and feel and do. Others have free will, they can and will do what they want.
2. We don’t have a relationship with another person. We have a relationship with our thoughts about them. What??? Yeah! Mind blown right? But hey! It’s great news, because our thoughts can be chosen.
This is why we practice mind management.
Why it’s beneficial to write it out:
What is the problem exactly?
What do I think about it?
What should they be doing differently?
When I think that how do I feel?
How do I act?
Am I loving them or judging and criticizing?

Coaches help with these kind of dilemmas… I do too. If this really hits home and you need my help DM me. I am here to help.



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Kogo próbujesz zmienić, byś sama poczuła się lepiej?

Dla przykładu:
Matka 13 letniego dziecka mówi:
“Chcę kochać moją córkę, ale ciągle się kłócimy. Myślę, że coś z nią jest nie tak. Nie powinna spędzać czasu poza domem do późna i spotykać się z tymi jej okropnymi przyjaciółmi. Dziewczyny z dobrego domu tego nie robią. Powinna robić tak jak jej mówię.”

Czy masz kogoś takiego w swoim życiu? Może nie nastoletnią córką, ale koleżankę, która nienawidzi swojej pracy… Nic nie zmienia. Za każdym razem, gdy się spotykacie, ciągle na to narzeka. Frustruje cię to. „Gdyby w końcu zrobiła to, co jej mówię, byłaby szczęśliwsza”.

Co tu się dzieje? Osąd.

Te myśli w 100% dotyczą tego jak zachowują sie inni. Problem polega na tym że my mamy w tej przestrzeni zero mocy. Zero.
Próba zmiany kogoś innego, abyśmy my mogli poczuć się w jakiś określony sposób, jest stratą czasu… stratą naszego życia. Życie jest zbyt krótkie i zbyt cenne na tego rodzaju bzdury.
1. Możemy kontrolować tylko to, co sami myślimy, czujemy i robimy. Inni mają wolną wolę, mogą i będą robić co zechcą.
2. Nie jesteśmy w związku z inną osobą. Naszą relację z tą osobą tworzą nasze myśli o niej. Mamy związek z naszymi myślami. Co??? Jak to? Jeśli musisz przeczytaj jeszcze raz… To świetna wiadomość, bo my możemy decydować o tym jak myślimy na dany temat. Nie ważne kto co robi my możemy decydować co o tym myślimy.
To dlatego warto zarządzać własnym umysłem.
Dlatego warto zapisywać i analizować myśli:
Na cozy dokładnie polega problem? Co o tym myślę? Co powinni robić inaczej? Kiedy tak myślę, jak się czuję? Gdy tak się czuję co robię? Kocham te osoby, czy osądzam i krytykuję?

Trenerzy życiowi pomagają w tego typu dylematach… Jeśli potrzebujesz mojej pomocy, napisz do mnie. Możesz mnie zatrudnić by pomóc ci to “rozsupłać” i zamiast się frustrować bo ktoś robi coś na co ty nie masz wpływu… rozpoznać co tak na prawdę można zmienić żeby było lepiej.

Thank you so much for joining us for RGA. Smaller group today but it was really good to see everyone and chat about what’s happened and how we can help each other. ☺️
👉🏻 If you are in Sarasota and have bottled water, canned food, paper towels, toilet paper, gently used clothing, hygiene products you’d like to donate to hurricane victims in Fort Myers, PM me.
Linda and Joanne are collecting these items and will be delivering them this Friday morning. ♥️

SOMETIMES WE HOLD ON TO RELATIONSHIPS, JOBS AND HABITS BECAUSE WE GET A SENSE OF EASE AND SAFETY FROM THE FAMILIARITY.

If you have been thinking about letting something go, this is a great question to ask yourself...

Does it truly feel good or is it just familiar?

What can you consider letting go off my dear? Comment below :)

The reset continues.
Ladies please join me if you are looking for extra motivation.

We often set goals but we don’t examine our mindset.
This is one of the reasons why we tend to abandon the goal and fail. Our lower brain at one point is gonna take over, because it will be triggered by you changing your reality. Every time you progress in a new direction the lower brain takes it as a threat and it will be doing what it can to make you stop and go back to the old way of doing things.
This is why adjusting your mindset is so important.
Ask yourself these questions:
👉 What are your thoughts about the goal you set. Can you achieve it? Yes or no? What do you think about doing the work to get it done? Is it gonna be easy or hard? What will be easy? What will be hard? Why? Write it down.
👉 Take the biggest obstacle ( what will be hard ) and think how could you make it easier on yourself? How could you motivate yourself to keep on going even when you “fail”.
👉 What would you consider a stumble? ( for example, for me it would be not doing yoga a day or more) What do you want to do when you stumble? Do you want to keep on going or do you want to stop? What would you need be thinking about yourself to continue on when you stumble?

🥰 Your goal is your friend not your enemy.
🥰 Your goal gives a direction to your energy.
🥰 Your goal helps you live more intentional life.
🥰 Your future self will be ripping a lot of benefits of your accomplishing this goal. You’ve got this.

Here is why I love ❤️ being a part of RGA Network:
this organization grows and changes based on what is most valuable to its members.
As we grow our businesses we need continuous education.
Last night I had a pleasure of being one of the speakers at RGA SPEAKS-St. Leo University Tampa September 1st ~ Clairity. We shared specific business knowledge that is now available to our members.
We will use the presentations as a guideline the Business Builder part of our meetings, so everyone participating in our weekly networking will get that extra value.
Thank you Mark O'Donnell and Matthew Coots for this opportunity.
Steve Hopper and Christiana Carter it was a pleasure to share the stage with you.
Ron Frost thank you for coming all the way from Sarasota to support me.
Thank you friends for sending encouraging messages. ♥️♥️♥️ I loved every moment of it… even the sweaty palms and fast heartbeat right before speaking 🙃

Positive thinking is not always the answer. Why? Because life is 50/50. Half of it is amazing and half is not. The negative 50 is like a “sh*t sandwich” you have to eat everyday. ( I borrowed this concept from Elisabeth Gilbert)
What goes into the sandwich? That varies. Some ingredients are the same, some are not.
If you get frustrated with your children daily, that’s gonna be a part of that sandwich.
If you have a coworker that is incredibly annoying. And everyday you are at work, you are annoyed by that person, that’s another sandwich “ingredient’.
I don’t know what your negative 50 is made out of today, but that element is not going away.
Life is balanced, the negative will always be a part of this reality.
Coaching does not teach you to pretend that the “sh*t sandwich” tastes amazing.
I am not gonna try to convince you to always be happy no matter what. You don’t want to be happy when your dog dies, or when your husband tells you that it’s time to go separate ways… of course you are gonna be heartbroken.
You want to experience the negative emotion, meet it within you and transmute it into acceptance. As a coach my job is to help you develop skills to deal with all of it.
And yes as a result you will become more positive. Why?
Because you will stop fighting with the fact that there is the negative side to your life.
You will learn to feel the feelings, instead of pretending they are not there.
You will eat your sh*t sandwich, knowing that since you live in a 50/50 world and tomorrow there is going to be another version available.
Sounds like you could use my help? Reach out and we will schedule a complimentary consultation.
*tsandwich