Capital Psychology

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The best ABC’s!

From

healingfromcomplexptsd.com

Parenting in Process 💕

8 Productivity Books Time-Management Experts Actually Use These titles can help you achieve more with less stress.

.mcgarry

Source: Kristen Wiens

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A little tip from The Contented Child, Child Wellbeing Consultancy 💧💕

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Reframing the "whatifs" has been such a valuable tool in my life and in the life of students.

Here are some great examples from .

The book "The Whatifs" by Emily Kilgore is another great way to talk about this concept with kids!

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An Age-By-Age Guide to Helping Kids Manage Emotions How we react to our kids’ emotions has an impact on the development of their emotional intelligence.

Creating boundaries for is crucial for well-being and preventing burnout. Here are steps to establish and maintain healthy boundaries:

✅ Delegate
✅ Learn to say no
✅ Prioritize self-care

Self-Love Rainbow

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.seaman

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Psychology Today ❤️

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The difference between successful couples and struggling couples is not the absence of conflict, bet the ability to make successful repairs. Couples who work to get good at repairs have fewer negative cycles, they’re less intense when they do happen, and over time they get faster at repairing. So while it is very important to work on preventing negative cycles, it’s even more important to become skilled at repairing them because making full repairs is the best prevention because successful repairs build trust.

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Toast for the Soul

🙏🏻❤️Let them play! ❤️

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You are enough. ⭐

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It takes two to have a securely attached relationship, but it only takes one to change YOU. You also have a relationship with yourself.
Instead of asking “what is my partner doing for me?” ask “who do I want to be in the world?” Do I want to be my best self in order to grow as person and shift the relationship environment without expecting immediate results? Or do I want to stay focused on what my partner is doing wrong and use mantras like “it takes two” to justify staying stuck?
Yes, it takes two to have a great relationship, but it only takes one get the ball rolling and to start making consistent, positive shifts. Who should this be? The healthier partner has to take the lead because if they don’t, nobody else will. But even if your partner is fully on board to change along with you, your focus still need to first be on your own actions and responses because ultimately that’s all you can control. The rest is all about what you can influence, which is not the same control. Influence is more about modeling the very behaviors you want in return.
The work I’m describing is about creating a secure attachment with yourself and it’s impossible to have a secure attachment with your partner if you don’t have one with yourself. At the same time, a secure relationship with your partner will enhance your own secure attachment within. It’s a feedback loop.
If you’re saying “I’ve done the work and I’ve given it time and I’m still not happy with the relationship, what do I do?” I can’t really answer that because I don’t know your situation. But I can say that I don’t want anyone to be in a miserable, unfulfilling relationship and you might have tough decisions to make if you’re miserable and have little to no hope things will get better.
And, what I do know is that many of you reading this probably need to spend some time looking inward instead of outward, and start there. For what it’s worth, I hold myself to the same standard. 🪴

The Kindness Tree combines the Conscious Discipline Skill of Encouragement and the Power of Unity. 🌳

The Kindness Tree provides a way to symbolically recognize kind and helpful acts, retraining the brain to focus on positive behaviors. By noticing the inner resource of kindness, you increase its power and reach.

Learn more here: https://consciousdiscipline.com/.../hallway/kindness-tree/

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Mid-conversation mini-repairs are 🔥

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Kaya Toast for the Soul 💙💛

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You know when someone makes a comment, or their behavior feels "off," or they ask you to do something you really don't want to do and you agree (or whatever the "pinch" may be), and it's a little annoying but you don't want to make a big deal out of "nothing," so you don't say anything.

It feels like a pinch. It's uncomfortable, but tolerable. And as long as it doesn't happen again, it's fine.
Or so you tell yourself.

But then the behavior continues. And after the 7th or 8th pinch, you're starting to have big feelings about this little pinchy behavior.
And by the time you address it, the pinch feels like a punch to the gut, and your reaction to the behavior is just as big.
You're downright angry, defensive, or you might even be ready to throw in the towel on the whole relationship/job/dynamic.

But is that really fair to the other side? They didn't know. You played it off like everything was fine, so how would they know to stop?

It's so important to listen to our bodies when they feel "pinched." To get curious about what it is that isn't working for us, and to be willing to share this with the other party.

Because the truth is, you DO know your limits. Your body is telling you all the time where the line is. The problem is that we don't tend to listen because we're afraid of what might happen if we speak up for ourselves.

But you can't pretend forever. The pinches will start to hurt more and your body will be telling you when you've gone beyond your limit, and when you're far beyond your limit, when you move into protection or survival mode, it feels a lot harder to have conversations around these little pinches.

AND while it's not true for everyone, healthier people DO care. They don't want to hurt or pinch you. They want to show up in ways that make you feel supported - but you have to be willing to tell them how!

If you'd like to receive messages and thoughtful reflections like this sent directly to your phone (outside of social media), consider signing up for daily (m-f) text messages!

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