Kronicallykieranart by Kieran Hatfield

Friends, I have a question for those of you who write and have authored fiction or narrative writings:

I’m dyslexic , and I have a idea for a story series, whether it would be Novella series or a novel with multiple books, but if I was to hire someone to type the story for me, but not necessarily right in the essence of editing or putting my words together and fixing it for me that’s collaborative author or is that ghost writing how do you go about crediting the other person who may not have participated in the narrative or plot direction or the way the story is written, but did the technical portion of the writing and grammatics?

Also potentially saving this novel from being one entire run-on sentence except for where there would be speech because you see I do not do punctuation well either

Here is a little life update for y’all
Tw: chronic illness talk, feelings of helplessness and depression, anxiety, talk of unaliving and feeling like a burden to everyone
Real talk, I am not actively pursuing any action that could be considered self harm. I am in a safe place for myself physically at the moment I am working with the crisis team to maintain that. I am, however, extremely fu**ed when it comes to financial issues due to losing both my tanf and SSI funds due to trying to fix my credit that got messed up during the pandemic trying to make sure we made it through. I am rarely this open. I do not like being vulnerable with people.. it is very hard for me to risk being this vulnerable when I’m not in the middle of an extreme crisis that I’m running from. I’m not running I’m staying here I’m choosing to grow. I’m asking for help. I cannot continue to hide and that is exactly what I do when I get like this… I am scared of how I harm other people due to my significant trauma as a child and young adult so when I don’t feel well, physically or emotionally, I pull away. If you love me and you have the spoons, energy willingness or time, please come see me I need people who are willing to invest time in me..
Also, bonus, if you like hanging out with large groups of people, I am apparently becoming a far larger OSDD /DID system again. Our system has officially chosen a system name and that is: The Cicada Nebula(system)
Now onto the actual update :

In the last 3 weeks, I have gotten so sick it is likely I will hopefully be getting a picc or port soon to make sure I can keep up on fluids and stop getting so dehydrated that I become so weak/sick, in er twice in less than 2weeks for fluids both times 2+ bags were run at once each time finished in less than an hour… (((((TMI ALERT))))) after the second time I wound up at home where i fell asleep having visualizations and dreams for the first time since 2019 (when i saw haluculinations of creepy glowing words and dead floating babies) luckily this time it was beautiful and so soothing. I crashed so hard after that er visit that i woke from a fever in extreme pain with a pool of my own poo in a ring around me from neck to knees. My mom was in Tacoma, dad was at work, and it was my caregiver’s week off: so, i felt really alone my only two choices were to wake up Toby and ask for his help, or to do the best i could with the limited energy i had. So i took a shower and cleaned my essentials and the mess i could from the bathroom to my room all while keeping myself from passing out and/or vomiting. Found 2-3 blankets to cover the mess on my bed covered it as completely as i could completely disgusted i couldn’t make myself do more, then proceeded to sleep off and on with; fevers, visual dreams, as much water as i could keep down, bouts of nausea, and most of all complete disgust at myself for my i capability to care for my own needs rendering me to no less than a giant toddler with no energy who ate a bad tuna sammich … and it stayed this way for the next 3 days… so i spiraled, my self loathing and anger, my sadness, the defeat at the fact that it was simply impossible to ask for help, the thoughts that if i didn’t fix this… what happens next time.
after i finally had enough energy to ask for help, my mom had returned from her business trip i was able to come up for an assisted 15 minute shower, it felt like heaven and truly the most humbling experience that opened my eyes and also fed further in to my downward spiral. I couldn’t stop ruminating on the many ways i was taking from this world i Tried to keep it together for a bit but that didn’t quite work the way I had intended and i lost my s**t on my dad after he sighed or made a noise i interrupted as anger. Toby and my caregiver were in the room as well. I ended up saying i was so tired of being a burden on everyone, making everyone so angry by asking for help and needing financial support as well as full time assistance to simply exist… so i screamed i wanted a pupu so i could just keel my shelf and finally stop hurting everyone i loved around me. Begging anyone there to tell me why I fought through sepsis and renal failure in 2015 just to continue to leach off those i loved the most and continue to bring their lives down financially and also emotionally.

Needless to say i and my supporter team made the decision i needed to go in for a hold, and so i got locked away for a grippy sock vacation. Lessons learned in my room where i was alone in an empty room with no companion and/or no way to stim… the lesson? This is still a huge trigger for me, my fear of abandonment and isolation definitely lead to significant disassociation, it also allowed our emerging (pieces) humans from closets rocks and cabins aboard my starship enterprise and some ungodly Q fu**er deciding to give everyone technicolor vision which (ok some of the kiddos can kinda pretend to see things in this deep vast nothingness of blackrednavyexpance but they are also like under 5 so a magical all their own….) for me is really fu***ng traumatic, i can’t even imagine a fu***ng apple i know what the fu***ng things look like i can taste them when i hear some one bite into one on the tv when people walk through leaves i smell their sweet crunch Granny Smiths tart bite turns my stomach every time i see a certain color of green bruise… but can i see the fu***ng apple 🍏 in my head if i close my eyes NO!

We have at least 12-16 active people in this brain, and most of us can’t see in our mind because we use our other senses in here so well. But all of the sudden my brain is like I’m tripping balls from Alice in wonderland.

Anyway so, all of this to inform you we are fu***ng struggling. In so very many ways.

Oh and they pulled my tanf & ssi. So currently i Am trying to survive for the next however long on $584 a month.

$584 for at a minimum of 3 months im going to end up costing my parents several thousand dollars… so that’s really not helping my feelings of being a burden at all

So i am considering doing a crowd fund if anyone would be able to help….

And I shamelessly enjoy tf outta em 🍂🍁

24hour process of the logo for

3Mt
Mystical Menagerie of Many Things
Artists collective and shop

Not as clean as I would like but i definitely like it more than the original idea. It encompasses the fact that we are a PNW company/group of diverse and multifaceted artists.

Attention Spokane locals and others who may want to visit Spokane on the 22nd. Here is the digital flyer for the Yarter fair and art/craft show I bought half a table in. (Does anyone have Square I can used for digital payment purposes I will give you a cut)

Xmas cards

More process photos of this piece. I'm pretty happy with how it is coming along. Would you believe the last time I painted a portrait with oils was over 10 years ago? I am so dang excited for this.

Starting a new oil painting:
Bekki Ann Art ... I love getting inspiration from my friends!

Being a disabled artist, can sometimes be a struggle. It ends up looking like a cluster of activity for a few hours until your body says that's enough, then you rest for a few days. This week it has looked like getting a bunch of my old work sealed and cured for an upcoming event in my local area. My next goal is to start an oil painting for another event next month! It's so liberating to get my art outh there and let my wings unfurl.

This is painting is unavailable for purchase, however I am willing to recreate it.
"Self portrait #1" ©️ Kieran Hatfield approx 2004
3'x3' abstract self portrait on canvas. (Golden acrylics used)

Painted while dealing with the recovery from sexual trauma in college, this painting depicts my vision of my soul at the time. As a child I often viewed myself as a black pit but also myself trying to claw my way free from multiple sexually violent traumas. This was the thought behind this piece.

Piece donated for Spectrum Singers silent auction at Nyne Bistro on September 21st. If you are interested go check it out and support a great organization.
Prints will be available shortly, message for more information.
8x10 on canvas acrylic dirty pour, fully sealed and cured.

"Oceanic Abyss" donated for Spectrum Singers silent auction at Nyne Bistro on September 21st. If you are interested go check it out and support a great organization.
Prints will be available soon. Message for more information.
8x10 on canvas board acrylic dirty pour, fully sealed and cured.

Piece donated for Spectrum Singers silent auction at Nyne Bistro on September 21st. If you are interested go check it out and support a great organization.
5x7 on canvas board acrylic dirty pour, fully sealed and cured.

Piece donated for Spectrum Singers silent auction at Nyne Bistro on September 21st. If you are interested go check it out and support a great organization.
5x7 on canvas board acrylic treering pour, fully sealed and cured.