The Bona Fide Blonde

Christmas time is the most joyous time in our city. Nearly every home decorates their old, wooden porch with garland and lights, Main Street holds their annual Christmas traditions (an experience every child should have at least once), and all the residents bundle up and brave the cold to visit their favorite local small businesses, because that’s what this little community does. I love decorating for Christmas because it brings joy to my family, but also because I see the joy it brings to the families who walk down our street or drive by everyday. In a year based on fear of the spread, let’s instead focus on the spread of joy.

After 510 days, our breastfeeding journey has ended. I cried while nursing Olive for the last time Sunday evening, and have every night since. It's hard to describe fully, but my heart feels broken and full at the same time. I know as time passes it will get easier, but I miss that special time with her so much it hurts. If you're currently on this beautiful journey, soak it in and cherish every minute, because there is nothing quite like the way they look into your eyes in those quiet moments.

breastfeeding is SO hard. sure, it's a "natural" thing in a sense that your body produces breastmilk on it's own, but the actual practice of nursing a baby can be quite challenging. some babies are pros at it, while others really struggle. today on my blog (my first post in a LONG time--finally!) I'm talking about breastfeeding Graham and Olive, and how they've been two completely different experiences, as well as some tips and takeaways I hope can be helpful to any breastfeeding mama.

breastfeeding two very different babies ​I never knew breastfeeding would be a full-time job. Honestly, I remember seeing moms nurse their babies in random places like restaurants or shopping malls when I was younger and thinking, "Wow,...

I look at this picture in disbelief. I so clearly remember the days of hopelessness, the days of such sadness that all I wanted to do was sleep so that I didn't have to think about the pain, and the days of yearning to be pregnant more than anything else in the world. So many of us struggle with pregnancy loss and infertility, and yet for some strange reason, it still isn't talked about all that much. I'm writing this for the girl who has been struggling silently with infertility, for the girl who just miscarried a baby she had prayed about for so long, for the girl who wants to be a mom more than anything and who cries a little every time she sees another one of her friends post a pregnancy announcement. Because even though we're expecting our rainbow baby in just two weeks, the memories and feelings of our fertility struggles are so present and fresh in my mind. To all those girls, I want you to know I see you. I can feel your pain. And I'm praying for you. And lastly, you should know that you have an army of women praying for you that you know nothing about. Haven't told anyone about your struggles to get pregnant? It doesn't matter, because every single woman who has been in your shoes and has come out the other side with a baby knows what you're feeling and will never forget it. And because of that, we pray for other women all the time who are still fighting the battle and searching for hope and praying for God to give them a sign that a baby is in their future. Never underestimate the power of prayer. ❤️

My last week of my second trimester starts today. It’s crazy how fast this pregnancy is flying by. Chris and I talked about it and realized why: for the first 14-20 weeks, we didn’t allow ourselves to fully believe that this was real, this was happening, and that we were going to have a healthy, normal pregnancy. I think deep down this was our way of protecting ourselves from another deep hurt. Losing a baby is a pain I simply can’t describe, and only those who have experienced it can truly understand the scar it leaves. I’m cherishing every single kick and jab she gives me, reaching for Chris or Graham’s hand every time I think they’ll be able to feel her, and embracing the fact that my wardrobe is shrinking and shrinking as I do the opposite. If you’re currently protecting your heart from something, fearful that if you allow yourself to be vulnerable, it may open you up to a deeper wound, to criticism, or to rejection, I encourage you to lean into that vulnerability and know that we are all the same: just trying to get through every day, hoping to come out of it at the end with as few scars as possible. That won’t always happen, and you’ll get hurt along the way in doing so, but our scars are what makes us beautiful and unique, and just like this pregnancy, I’m thankful for that.

I spent most of today with my phone in a separate room. That’s huge for me. It’s a constant battle for me to watch how much time I’m spending staring at my phone, and I must say, it was SO nice to unplug for a bit today and simply enjoy grocery shopping, playing with playdoh with Graham, and disconnecting from the online noise 🙌🏼 (And yes, I’m one of those weirdos who loves to grocery shop). Also, don’t forget both West Elm and Anthropologie are 25% off right now, but it ends at midnight, so enjoy a little Sunday night shopping!

Thursday morning hustle 👊🏼 My girlfriend reached out when she saw my post about waking up earlier and decided to do it with me, so now we’re accountability partners!
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Do you crave that extra time in the morning? Do you want it to get a head start on your workday, or do some yoga? Do you want to be able cook a hearty breakfast, or sit in your cozy chair and read a book in silence?
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For me, I like to have time to get ready for the day. I mean, *really* get ready. Curl my hair (and dry shampoo, who am I kidding), do my makeup, and listen to a favorite podcast while I try to find a sweater that will fit over this baby bump. Feeling ready to conquer the day means feeling put together first. My mood (and confidence) is completely transformed when I’ve had this “me” time.
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Admittedly, I’m just not one of those girls that can rock the I-just-rolled-out-of-bed look—I wake up looking more like a monster. How do you start your day to make sure you feel your best? Let me know!

Being an adult is hard. Being an adult and trying to make new friends? Ugh, sometimes it seems impossible. 👋🏼 Friendships are so important to have, and in my opinion, you don’t need a lot of them.

I’ve never been the type to have a huge group of girlfriends where we plan these big weekend getaways. I didn’t have 12 bridesmaids, nor was I ever a part of a club or sorority. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Having a few close friends who you can text on a bad day, or meet up with for coffee and no expectations is priceless, and I think we all need those people. ☕️

This is part of the reason I love the social media community. It may seem silly, but I’ve made a lot of friendships through social media in just the last year. I went to a blogger event on Friday night at Leopard Boutique and saw both familiar faces who I’ve met on here, and also met some new ones. Events like that remind me that I’m not the only one who desires to build friendships, even as an adult, and that is a wonderful thing.

Don't accept loneliness. If you need those close friends because you don't have them, seek them out. Seek out people who are passionate about the same thing you're passionate about. We all desire to have those connections with one another. Do not under any circumstance accept loneliness as your reality.

I'm not going to sugarcoat this. I thought about hitting 'save draft' instead of 'publish,' but you know what, screw it. I'm not going to overthink this or wonder if I'm going to offend someone or doubt if my voice matters. When I titled my blog "the bona fide blonde" I thoughtfully made that decision with the commitment of always being true and authentic, always speaking my mind, and always being a light for others whenever and however possible. Bona fide by definition means genuine, sincere, real. So, real I have been and real I will continue to be. On the blog today are a few thoughts, sparked by one experience today, fueled by several experiences over a lifetime, about being a woman in 2018.

being a woman in 2018 ​I parked in the garage of my favorite coffee house this afternoon. I got out of my car, grabbed my computer bag, and began walking toward the elevator when I see two men exit the elevator and...

Monday: the day we celebrate dry shampoo 👏🏼

Seriously, though, if you’re still looking for your dry shampoo soul mate, look no further— Kristin Ess Hair is THE BEST. Take it from someone who has a graveyard full of dry shampoos I’ve tried, tested, and tossed aside.

Now spray those roots, down that cold brew, and let’s kick off October with attitude 💁🏼(Good attitude, that is. Only positive vibes around here).

Is throwback Thursday still a thing? Well, I'm going to throw it back to two nights ago (I'm a rebel). I shared my favorite Trader Joe's wines all for under $20 on my Insta stories and decided to turn that into a blog post so that the wine can live on forever! Just think of it as an extension of your permanent grocery list ;)

Graham ran out the door this morning with an apple he picked from Eckerts to give to Nana while screaming "I picked this!", Chris stayed up until 1:30 in the morning editing a client's wedding video, and I couldn't find my For The Love book yesterday, panicked, and cried (only to ultimately find it in a duffle bag in our bathtub--I have no explanation for this), so it's been a pretty typical 24 hours for the Files family.

Advice for today? Take a deep breath, remind yourself that you're not a superhero who can do all the things, and don't forget your coffee (that mistake will scar you). Happy Friday, eve!

best Trader Joe's wines for under $20 Let's make this short and sweet: I LOVE WINE. I would go into all the reasons why I love wine, but let's be honest--if you're reading this, then chances are we share that love, so, (1) explanation...

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. Have you heard this phrase? It’s interesting—since I began blogging, meeting other bloggers, and reading books by women like Jen Hatmaker, I’ve realized there’s one big problem we have as women: we don’t lift one another up. .
We don’t encourage each other enough. We don’t promote one another. Or cheer the other on when they’ve accomplished something big (or small!). It’s hard enough working in a world where women STILL make less than men for doing the same job, so why are we making it that much harder on ourselves by not joining forces? .
The reason I sometimes share other ladies I enjoy following on Instagram and Facebook isn’t to sell you something (I’m a horrible sales person), to get some sort of personal gain out of, or to only promote my friends. Many of the women I share I’ve never even met. .
I share them because they are all incredible, inspiring women, pursuing the life they want, never settling, always following their passion, and ironically, they’re all women who lift other women up. .
You work your butt off. I know you do. You’re overwhelmed and feel like you’re not doing any of your “jobs” well, and then you go to bed feeling exhausted and—dare I say—unfulfilled. .
But I’m here on this Friday morning to tell you this: you’re doing your job the best you can, you deserve to chase after something that lights your imagination on fire, and you deserve to be lifted up by the women around you. Don’t have women around you who do this? FIND THEM. They exist. I promise you! And remember: we’re not competing with each other, in fact, our flames will burn even brighter when we join them together. ✨

My work-from-home survival tools :) Ah, the joys of working from home. Is it all it's cracked up to be? In my opinion, yes and no. Working from home is great for many reasons: you have no daily commute, you can fix whatever you want for lunch with full access to your fridge/pantry/kitchen, and you have the choice of working in total silence or blaring Taylor Swift as loud as you want. But, I've realized in these last three years that there are plenty of challenges, too. See that mountain high pile of laundry in the corner of your room? It's calling your name to be done. That mound of dishes in the sink? You should really get to those. They smell. There are a number of distractions staring you down when you work from your humble abode, so I'm sharing my few tips on how to stay on task and "just say no" to the filth (because let's be honest, the filth will accumulate either way). .
1. Keep a planner. If I didn't have my planner, I wouldn't survive. That sounds dramatic, but just ask my husband--it's true. So much so that I've asked my husband if he'd be willing to use one as well, so that I could keep mine for MY tasks and not his as well, but I'm still working on that one. I love the The Day Designer brand. Each month has a full calendar view, plus each day is laid out on it's own page broken down by hour, a to-do section, a notes section, and lots more. .
2. COFFEE. This is my life blood. Whether I'm drinking coffee at home (new addiction shown above) or working from a local coffee shop, coffee keeps my brain on task and my eyes open. It also turns me into a pleasurable human to be around, so there's that. .
3. Social media! That's right--social media may seem like a distraction to most people, but I follow a lot of great motivational accounts and influencers who share productivity tips, inspirational messages, and tools that help me get through my day. So, if I need a mental break from my work, I'll hop on the 'gram or FB and get reenergized by the content in my feed. Some of my favorites are Jasmine Star, Career Contessa, and Jenna Kutcher.
Do you have any must-have work-from-home routines or tools?? 👩🏼‍💻

New blog is up talking all about our amazing fertility specialist who helped us get to where we are today. 🌈 I can’t say enough wonderful things about Becky and her team, and if you’re going through a challenging time trying to conceive, I want to encourage you to read this. Sometimes, we just can’t do it alone, and that’s OK. ❤️

we didn't do it alone: the story of our fertility specialist We are officially 18 weeks today, which means baby girl is the size of a sweet potato, but I wouldn't have this sweet potato to be thankful for if it weren't for the help of our incredible fertility...

I had to run into Aerie to make an exchange (my first time ordering from them, and this was my first time in their store). Their message is all about loving your body—regardless of the number on your jeans. When I went into their dressing room, they had post it notes all over the mirror from people who had written various self-Love messages on them. For the first time in a long time, I looked in the dressing room mirror and didn’t criticize every lump and bump, which was SO nice. We could use more companies like Aerie spreading messages of positivity and acceptance. ✌🏼💕

Talking about an emerging interior design style on my blog today. Let me know what you think! Love it? Hate it?

Our Modern Victorian Home When I saw that famed interior designer Emily Henderson wrote a blog a few weeks ago introducing Modern Victorian style , my jaw dropped. "That's my style! That's my style!," I kept shouting in...

Love Nashville? Never been? Either way, check out my 48-hour guide to music city up on the blog now ✌️ I share my favorite coffee spot, bakery, h***y tonk and more 🎶 (There's also a throwback video at the end from my last ACM Awards in Las Vegas) 🎤 Happy Weekend! P.S. Share with anyone who's thinking about a trip to Nashville!

48-hour guide to Nashville the bona fide blonde

As if you needed another reason to go to HomeGoods 😏 I promise I shop at other places. This wreath lights up, too ✨ Blog post about easy and affordable Christmas decorating tips coming soon!

This weekend was good for our souls. We relaxed, ate like kings, and listened to some incredible live music. We stayed at an adorable air bnb in East Nashville—thanks to 🤗—and felt right at home. I’ve always said if we had to pick a different city to live and raise a family in, it would be Nashville. One of the performers at Roberts said Graham had the same look in his eyes watching her play guitar that she did when she was little and saw live music for the first time. I think we may have a future musician on our hands 💕 Blog post of our favorite Nashville spots coming soon!

Gloomy day at home with a sick toddler (is something going around??), good smelling candles, and an inbox full of to-dos...sounds about right 😏 Quick shopping tip!

If you’re candle-obsessed (like myself), but dislike going broke (like myself), buy your candles at HomeGoods! They always have a huge selection—and my extra good tip: buy the DW candles. They release the most fragrance 🙌🏼

Red wine and Christmas shopping--is there anything better? This gorgeous two-stone druzy necklace is one of my top pics for a perfect Christmas gift 😍

(P.S. This designer also outfits all of the Bachelorettes on ABC!)

blush babe

The Bona Fide Blonde added a button to help you learn more about them.

It's getting COLD outside, so I rounded up a few of my favorite jackets/coats that ASOS has on sale right now--all under $100!

For my antique-lovers, new blog post is up with my top 4 antique store shopping tips! 😘

my 4 antique store shopping tips Antique shopping is my love language. I just can't stop. It feeds my soul. (I lean dramatic). ​I realize it's not for everyone, but for me it's pretty much the most fun thing I've ever done...

The Bona Fide Blonde updated their website address.