Liz Danbury, Counselor

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Art | Maurice Asselin

EMDR Certified Therapist • Liz Danbury • EMDRIA Credentials Home of digital credentials

Two implicit memories that trigger or perpetuate freeze in the present moment:
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1. "I'M ALONE WITH TOO MUCH. The core of trauma at the nervous system level is not an event but our nervous system not having the right support and conditions to regulate, integrate and come back to safety through times of adversity.
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It's not only that the system was forced to stay with experiences that exceeded its capacity, but it had to stay all alone.
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So, there's an implicit memory at the level of the nervous system of "I'm alone in this" that gives a sense of helplessness and overwhelm.
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Notice the moments when your system is forced to stay with too much discomfort alone. This reminds your system of all the moments when that happened in the past.
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2. "I HAVE TO HIDE MY TRUTH TO SURVIVE". Notice in what ways you hide yourself, your vulnerability, your pain, your wounded parts or your authenticity in the present moment. How does this make your nervous system feel/respond? Isn't it creating more pressure, taking up so much energy and triggering more freeze in the long term?
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If the nervous system has learned to survive by hiding its pain and reality, this is what will project/reinforce.
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A new layer of support for the system in freeze is creating space for opposing needs: needs that serve protection/trauma suppression and needs that serve healing and reconnection.
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For example, the need that serves protection asks to hide our truth and pain and the need that serves healing asks to embrace more of who we are: the vulnerable, the authentic, and the "not healed yet". Both require space, attention and understanding.
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For more trauma-safe and nervous system-informed insights and tools to work with a dysregulated and traumatized system, I recommend checking the book Embodied Healing via the link in bio.
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Love,
Ally.

Good night & Sweet dreams 💜

Dissociation is a way to escape overwhelming situations. We ALL dissociative to some degree. If you have ever driven home and you know the route so well so you check out to the music in the car....and all of a sudden you realize you're home...that's a low level of dissociation. It is being on autopilot. Common forms of dissociation can also be seen in daydreaming as well....or perhaps creating a different reality to protect against pain.

When children are tortured, they may check out to create a different reality. Some children who grow up in high stress, high conflict, or high trauma environments split off the knowledge, emotions, and feelings from these experiences. An extreme form of splitting happens when a different state/self/part/alter/member, etc is made to survive the trauma.

This natural defense mechanism protects the child and allows them to survive into adulthood. It allows the child to grow up in an apparently "normal" day-to-day life. What ends up happening is amnesia from horrific events, awaiting resolution. It unfortunately can also leave parts of you stuck in unresolved experiences. This is a protective mechanism. If the child didn't dissociate, they would have suffered deeply psychologically.

Therapy can help you deal with dissociation, regardless of where you are on the spectrum. It can help you find grounding techniques and help you cope better with dissociative episodes. Somatic therapies, especially, can assist you in connecting to your body, sensations, gestures, movement, etc that can help process the unresolved trauma that is in the body. EMDR is also an important tool that could help you work through memories of traumatic events. Healing is possible!