Wizard of the Midwest

If you haven’t been in recently, I’ve redecorated!

Hi there! My name is Zachary Avery (also known as The Wizard of the Midwest™). I am a licensed massage therapist, certified acupuncturist, trauma-informed yoga and meditation instructor, reiki master teacher, health coach, and ordained minister that has been serving Tulsa since 2010. I am licensed through the Oklahoma State Board of Cosmetology ( #157053) and insured through the Associated Bodywork and Massage Professionals (ABMP) and the National Association of Social Workers (NASW). After spending more than a decade studying holistic health and self-care, my mission is to provide you with a wide array of services, resources, and tools to help you live a balanced, healthy life. You can learn much more about me and my offerings on my website, which is www.wizardofthemidwest.com 🧙‍♂️🌈✨

Wizard of the Midwest Zachary Avery has served Tulsa as a massage therapist, acupuncturist, and yoga instructor since 2010. He offers services and resources to help you live a balanced, healthy life.

Don’t just take my (and Stephen’s) word for it. Give it a try and see for yourself. 💝.

“And I said to my body, softly, ‘I want to be your friend.’ It took a long breath and replied, ‘I’ve been waiting my whole life for this.’” ~ Nayyirah Waheed

Today, like every day, is a good day to take care of yourself 🧡

Some things that have helped me heal:

Self-Compassion
Yin + Restorative Yoga
Meditation
Community
Psychotherapy
Plant Medicine
Expression / Creativity
Journaling
Music
Travel
Self-Care
Poetry
Art
Food
Mindfulness
Humor
Silence
Vulnerability
Boundaries
Love

Listed in no particular order, these are practices and techniques that I have returned to over and over again throughout my journey. What would you add to the list?

🗣 Do you hear me? (But, more importantly, do you *feel* me? 💓)

We all go through challenging times that involve feelings such as fear, stress, anxiety, depression, pain, and overwhelm. When we experience these difficult emotions, it's important for us to know how to soothe our bodies as well as our minds. The aim of self-soothing techniques is to help us calm (i.e. down-regulate) our nervous systems. These are coping skills that are meant to help provide us with some sense of comfort and relief. Self-soothing practices are ways in which we can be kind, gentle, and compassionate with ourselves during these moments of distress and difficulty. In my opinion, one of our greatest abilities is to be able to soothe ourselves. If you're wondering how to do this, here is a list of 50 ways to practice self-soothing:

Give yourself a massage (or a hug)
Diffuse essential oils
Burn some incense
Light a candle
Read a book
Drink some water
Take a shower or bath
Buy (or pick) some flowers
Lay underneath a weighted blanket
Turn on some comforting music
Take deep breaths (inhale for 4 seconds and exhale for 8 seconds)
Eat some chocolate
Dance it out
Have s*x
Chew some gum
Indulge in comfort food
Turn the lights down low
Wear comfortable clothes
Have a glass of wine (or tea)
Move your body
Journal
Watch the clouds (or look at the stars)
Explore a creative outlet (such as painting or knitting)
Repeat some soothing affirmations
Put on your favorite movie
Bust out a coloring book
Play a video game
Practice a guided meditation
Listen to binaural beats
Validate your feelings
Give yourself permission to cry
Talk to yourself in a soothing way
Try to find some perspective
Spend time in nature
Place your hands over your chest and feel your heart beat
Listen to a podcast or audiobook
Stream something on Netflix or YouTube
Squeeze a stress ball
Get out in the sunshine
Stretch
Play a card or board game
Think about things you're grateful for
Go for a drive
Visit a museum
Read poetry that inspires you
Lay on a heating pad
Wrap up in your favorite blanket
Play with your pet
Think about something you have to look forward to
Remember that you are not alone

Not all of these things will work for everyone. Some things might work for you at one time and then not work for you at another time. For this reason, I think it's important that we each have a large toolbox of different options and practices when it comes to various ways to self-soothe. The practice is to learn to give yourself whatever it is that you need in the moment. Always do what works for you. And remember that nobody knows what that is better than you.

Know that your feelings are valid. It's okay to feel anything and everything that you're feeling. There's nothing wrong with you or your emotions. That being said, know that there are always techniques available to you in order to help you unwind and decompress when that's what you need. I think it's important to note that some forms of self-soothing are better than others. After all, excessive use of drugs and/or alcohol (in addition to any other addiction you can think of) are all attempts at self-soothing. We each experience times when we need to "take off the edge." My wish for you is that you learn ways to do this that will benefit you in both the short term as well as the long term. 💙

"Yoga is a way of moving into stillness in order to experience the truth of who you are." ~ Erich Schiffmann

Current teaching schedule:

Tuesdays • 10-11am • Sky Fitness & Wellbeing Midtown
Tuesdays • 6-7pm • Be Love Yoga Studio Jenks
Wednesdays • 12-1pm • The Yoga Room
Wednesdays • 7-8pm • The Yoga Room
Saturdays • 10:30-11:30am • Be Love Yoga Studio Tulsa

This week I sought out some feedback from someone who’s been attending my classes regularly. She caught me off guard when she said, “Your class is the only time a week that I feel safe.” I don’t take these words lightly. It’s an honor to hold this space for you. When we continue to show up for ourselves first, we can then show up for our families and communities with a full cup that’s ready to be shared. 🙏

📷: Joe Picorale

They say, “No pain, no gain.”
I say, “No pain, no pain.”

They say, “No pain, no gain.”
I say, “There is no gain with pain.”

They say, “No pain, no gain.”
I say, “All gain, no pain.”

“And every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, ‘This is important! And this is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this!’ And each day, it’s up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, ‘No. This is what’s important.’” ~ Iain Thomas

📷: MichaelWitherspoonphotography

Being gentle with yourself isn’t an act so much as an attitude. For that reason, I’m not so interested in discussing ways of being gentle with yourself but rather I’m interested in discussing the theory behind it.

Life can be really difficult at times. Often in these times of difficulty and hardship we can make things even worse by beating ourselves up, treating ourselves harshly, and becoming our own worst critic. Especially in these harder/darker moments, we must learn to be gentle with ourselves. (Obviously this is easier said than done.)

What I’m talking about is a whole new way of operating and acting toward ourselves. I’m suggesting that the way we’ve been operating thus far hasn’t served us very well. I’m saying there’s a better way.

Gentleness. It’s a simple practice. It’s not easy, but it’s simple. You know how to practice it because you do it for others all the time. (Think about how you would treat a newborn baby.) And now it’s time to do it for yourself.

Although I could list 20 ways to be gentle with yourself, I want to dig a little deeper here. After all, just because you went to yoga, got a massage, or took an Epsom salt bath doesn’t mean that you were gentle with yourself. Don’t get me wrong, it’s absolutely possible that in any or all of these scenarios you were being gentle with yourself. The important thing to understand, however, is that gentleness is about motive more than action.

Gentleness is an intention... an approach... a tone of voice. It’s talking to yourself in the same way that you would talk to your dearest friend. It’s accepting yourself as you are and honoring your needs. When you’re gentle with yourself, you stop comparing yourself to others so much and you simply do the best you can. Being gentle with yourself might feel like cutting yourself some slack and giving yourself some grace. This is about softening, relaxing, connecting, opening your heart, understanding, and easing up.

You’ve been hard on yourself for a long time. Now it’s time to be tender. You deserve it. Be gentle with yourself. You’re doing the best you can. And that’s enough.

“And I said to my body, softly, ‘I want to be your friend.’ It took a long breath and replied, ‘I have been waiting my whole life for this.’” ~ nayyirah waheed

📷: Lifeforce Photography

10 TRUTHS + 1 DARE

Truth 1: You can eat all the kale, drink all the green juice, and do all the yoga... but if you aren't dealing with what's going on in your head and heart, you're still not healthy.

Truth 2: Your "diet" is everything you consume. This also includes what you're watching, listening to, reading, and surrounding yourself with. No workout in the world will make up for consuming that kind of junk "food."

Truth 3: Your physical appearance does not automatically reflect your healthiness. Your health boils down to a relationship that you have with yourself. Most of the metrics are BS.

Truth 4: How you feel is more important than how you look.

Truth 5: There is no such thing as a "perfect" body. That's a social construct that we've allowed ourselves to use as fodder to feel inferior and less than. Enough is enough. (Oh, and PS, even the "perfect bodies" don't exist because the photos we see have been filtered and airbrushed…)

Truth 6: Health is more of a direction than it is a destination.

Truth 7: Diets don't work.

Truth 8: No food is "bad." (Don't believe me? Go read Melissa Hartwig's book "Food Freedom Forever.")

Truth 9: As long as you're breathing, there's more "right" with you than there is “wrong" with you.

Truth 10: Your body loves you. It's time to love it back. (This is more about acceptance than action.)

Dare 1: "You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens." ~ Louise Hay

📷: Joe Picorale

Remove your tongue from the roof of your mouth.
Unclench your jaw.
Let your shoulders drop down away from your ears.
Straighten your spine.
Take a deep breath in through your nose. And out through your mouth.
Now carry on…
Remembering that you are whole, loved, worthy, beautiful, powerful, supported, and enough.
💖

In the self-help/self-improvement world it's easy to get caught up in what's lacking and what needs to be fixed/worked on. It's easy to forget about all the things that are right with ourselves and our lives. Today's self-care tip is to do just that. Recognize your abundance.

"Abundance" is a very general/broad term that can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. Abundance is about having more than enough of something. Although we generally associate the word with money and financial prosperity, it can also be used to refer to relationships, love, support, connection, time, work, opportunity, fulfillment, success, talent, growth, creativity, wisdom, intuition, confidence, food, clothing, health, beauty, peace, joy, dreams, vision, hope, grace, truth, freedom, compassion, happiness, magic, possibility, fun, energy, etc.

The truth is, abundance is all around us. All we have to do it open our eyes and see it. Look around at everything that you have. Recognize your abundance. Take some time to feel gratitude and give thanks. When you do this, you'll realize 1) that you're not lacking near as badly as you thought you were and 2) you have much more of an abundance than you thought you did.

What would happen if we awakened to the reality that we are enough and we have enough... that we are abundant? What would happen if we broke free from illusion and saw abundance all around us? What would happen if we didn't keep up with the Joneses? What would happen if we didn't buy into the lie of consumerism? What would happen if we stopped taking our lives for granted? What would happen if we spent more time in appreciation and celebration and gratitude for what we do have?

I think today calls for a happy dance or two. After all, don't you see all this abundance?! There's so much to celebrate ❤️

📷: Sarah Allen + Trent Brown

Let me play you the song of my people 💓

📷: Jessica Karin Photography

Your body is amazing. Among so many other things, it’s constantly pumping blood, digesting food, staying at 98.6 degrees, and maintaining homeostasis. Your heart never misses a beat, your lungs never forget to breathe, and your pupils never fail to dilate. All of this takes place 24/7 for your entire life.

Your body loves you. And it’s constantly taking care of you. Even if you don’t get enough sleep, your body will keep you going. Even if you eat too much junk food or drink too much alcohol, your body will process it. Even if you injure yourself, your body will immediately begin the process of healing.

The atoms of your body are billions of years old. They contain incredible wisdom and intelligence. All this to say, your body is really smart. And it can be trusted. It knows what it’s doing and it knows what it needs. It has all the answers. And it’s constantly communicating them to you.

Did you catch that?

Your body is constantly communicating with you.
Your body communicates its needs, desires, and messages through sensations, cravings, symptoms, and reactions. Your body speaks to you through pain, pleasure, hunger, thirst, fatigue, tension, heaviness, “gut feelings,” etc.

This is your body giving you constant feedback. You can trust these messages. And I encourage you to not only trust them, but also to honor them. See, up until this point, our society has taught us to do the exact opposite. Any time our body creates a craving, we’ve been taught to ignore it, suppress it, or fight it. Likewise, any time our body feels pain we’ve often been taught to push through it.

It’s time for a new approach. Slow down. Quiet down. Tune in. Connect. Check in. Listen to your body. It knows.

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~ Buddha

📷: Sarah Allen

Call it whatever you want: soul, spirit, heart, intuition, subconscious, inner voice, Higher Self, angels, spirit guides, life, God, universe...

The point is, it is speaking.

It is speaking through...

• Gut feelings
• Emotions
• Longings
• Yearnings
• Urges
• Thoughts
• Experiences
• Dreams
• Visions
• Instincts
• Deep knowings
• Vibrations
• Signs
• Omens
• "Coincidences"
• Synchronicity
• Intuition
• Inspiration
• Imagination
• Music
• Nature
• People
• A still, small voice

There's no doubt that it's speaking...

So the question then becomes...

Are you listening?

📷: Lifeforce Photography

“The only thing keeping you from being happy is the belief that you are alone.” ~ Anna Draper (Mad Men)

“Just remember, you are not alone, in fact you are in a very common place with millions of others. We need to help each other and keep striving to reach our goals.” ~ Mike Moreno

“You are never alone or helpless. The force that guides the stars guides you too.” ~ Shrii Shrii Anandamurti

“You are never alone. There are powers and presences who serve you all the time most faithful. You may not perceive them, nevertheless they are real and active.” ~ Nisargadatta Maharaj

"The yoga pose is not the goal.

Becoming flexible is not the goal.

Standing on your hands is not the goal.

The goal of yoga is to create space where you were once stuck; to unveil the layers of protection you’ve built around your heart; to appreciate your body and become aware of the mind and the noise it creates; to make peace with who you are and what you are here to do.

The goal is to love, well… You.

If you want to practice yoga, choose a reason that pulls at your heart and beckons to your soul. Come to your yoga mat to feel; not to accomplish. Shift your focus and your heart will grow (and so will your yoga practice)."

~ Rachel Brathen

📷: Jessica Karin Photography

In 2014 I sold and/or gave away most of my belongings. I ventured off on a trip throughout Europe and Asia that would forever change my life. During that trip, I completed my first 200 hour yoga teacher training in Rishikesh, India. This is the city where yoga is believed to have originated thousands of years ago. Sometimes life has a funny way of coming full circle. Earlier in my life, I had signed up to go on a mission trip to India; I didn’t raise enough funds, so I ended up not being able to go. At that time, my mentality was that I would go to India to help save her. Little did I know that ultimately I would go there and she would help save me.

When I started acupuncture school, my teacher employed a Native American tradition and gave each of us a medicine bag. In the bag, my teacher had placed a number of standard/medicinal herbs, but he then instructed us to also “find our own medicine.”

You see, we each have our own medicine. In Native American culture, “medicine” is anything that heals us. It isn’t always in the form of a pill. It could be music, travel, dance, yoga, martial arts, food, heart-to-hearts, journaling, books, audiobooks, hugs, gratitude, laughter, fun, rest, herbs, oils, nature, mantra, meditation, prayer, etc.

I’m talking about your recipe/prescription for healing (which, in my experience, is more of a direction than a destination). This is about (re)discovering that still, small voice and (re)connecting with your soul. What is it that you need? That’s your medicine. Use it as needed.

When I graduated massage school, one of my instructor’s last pieces of advice that I remember was that we needed to find some sort of self-care practice that would help offset the physical strain that this sort of work involves. She recommended checking out yoga. I started practicing YouTube videos by Tara Stiles and Esther Eckhart in the mornings before work. I quickly fell in love.

Sometimes after giving a client a massage, I would show them a stretch or two that would further support the work I had done. It didn’t take long before, much to my surprise, clients started asking for one-on-one yoga lessons. I hadn’t completed any yoga teacher training but I had a personal practice and in the beginning I simply invited them to join me in my personal practice. (Now, as a well-qualified yoga teacher, I can say that this is probably the most powerful thing a teacher could ever offer a student.)

Some of these clients were friends with each other so it wasn’t long before they started asking if I could teach them as a group. It started with two and then three and then four and then six and then the next thing you know someone wanted me to start teaching yoga at their office after work. Little did I know how things would continue to grow 💕

📷: Sarah Allen + Trent Brown

When I was 19, I dropped out of college at ORU and moved to Kansas City without much of a plan. Long story short, I lived out my car for a bit and became more affiliated with the International House of Prayer (IHOP). Through that community, I met a group of people that ran a house church (read: cult) half an hour north of KC. (I know a lot of people use the term “cult” loosely, so let me say that you could Google this guy’s name and read news articles about FBI investigations, etc.).

I lived with this group of people for most of a year. As is the case with any cult, the views of the group were pretty extreme. And, like any good cult that’s in denial of being a cult, every belief was supported by a Scripture. This group had fully renounced Western/allopathic forms of medicine, even to the point of calling them demonic.

During my year there, I was not brainwashed into buying into all the beliefs that were presented to me. I was “eating the [obviously organic 😜] meat” and “spitting out the bones.” This year was my crash course into all things holistic and alternative. Since traditional forms of medicine were out, this group turned to natural remedies and modalities that, up until that time, I knew nothing about. They were networked with other practitioners in Kansas City and ultimately a woman who had an aromatherapy shop started mentoring me.

I learned so many things that year. I also started an ongoing list of modalities that I wanted to study and learn. Aromatherapy was the first technique that I dove into. The woman who was mentoring me practiced a technique called Raindrop Therapy, which is (more or less) a type of massage that incorporates the application of specific essential oils throughout the session. I fell in love with this work.

At some point I came back to Tulsa for a week to visit friends and family. As I was catching up with the woman that I would call my “second mother” and sharing with her some of the things that I’d been learning and becoming interested in, she became really excited and shared with me that she was actually in massage school at that very moment. She encouraged me to come shadow her and check out the school later that week. The night that I went with her was a multi-hour lecture that was pretty dry (I think anatomy/physiology was involved), but I was lit up. Within a week, I moved back to Tulsa, got a 9-5 job, and started working my way through massage school. Little did I know that this was the beginning of something so huge.

📷: Sarah Allen + Trent Brown

You (yes, you) are worthy of...

love
connection
support
success
fulfilling work
abundance
compliments
blessings
respect
equality
peace
comfort
safety
boundaries
forgiveness
health
rest
nourishment
fun
pleasure
s*x
happiness
joy
freedom
passion
grace
and anything else that you can possibly dream of or desire

You are worthy. Of it all. Period.

I WILL NEVER SHAME YOU.

Massage clients apologize for "waiting too long" (their words, not mine) between sessions. Yoga students say they are sorry that they haven't been "consistent" lately. They also apologize if they make it to yoga but aren't able to stay for meditation.

LISTEN.

You showed up. That's what matters. Whenever I see you, I'm so happy that you made it that day. I will never, ever say that you're not doing enough. That's not how I think. My mindset is that I know how crazy life can be, and today you made it a priority to spend some time with me. You're taking care of yourself. I'm proud of you for that.

As for the above photo, it was snapped right as someone walked through the front door. This pic is 100% authentic. I'm delighted to see you whenever I can. There's no shame or guilt attached. Join me when you can. I'll have a big smile and/or hug (whatever you're in the mood for) ready for ya.

All my love,



Z