Gale Allison Mediator

The Taming of the Feud Issue 3 | Best Practices for Success: Statement of the Case

One reason mediations fail is lack of preparation. There’s a vast advantage to the mediation process when all of the participants — mediator, attorneys, resource people, and clients — are fully prepared for the mediation day.

Mediators are trained to call all the professionals well before the mediation date to discuss expectations, process, and preparation. My agenda is to discuss everything from expectations of time and process to the all-important Statement of the Case. Details are critical.

NO “HANGRY” CLIENTS AT MY MEDIATION TABLE
For example, it may seem silly at first, but I discuss food allergies, cookies, and other tasty food and beverages, because it helps the process when participants are not allowed to get “hangry”! If we are to resolve the matter with a suitable solution, it is very important for the mediation process not to be derailed with the distraction of growling bellies. Seriously, I plan that well in advance.

NO ACHING DERRIÉRES IN MY MEDIATIONS EITHER
Next, I discuss the comfort of the participants. Chairs can get hard. I address boredom, which is inevitable if the mediation is complex at all. Often, the mediator may be in the opponent’s room for hours. I encourage participants to bring video games, cards, books, and any other form of entertainment that will help them while away the time that the mediator is not in their room.

DRAFT AGREEMENTS, PLEASE, ATTORNEYS
I ask the attorneys to prepare to resolve the case by bringing their laptops with a roughed-in mediation agreement complete with signature lines. The document includes all the boilerplate that the lawyers will want to see in the final settlement agreement. I ask them to add anything else that makes it quicker for the settlement to be signed. This saves a lot of time at the end when they are drafting the agreement for ex*****on. Little things, like getting all the names entered correctly, save lots of time when everyone is tired.

And then there is the Statement of the Case.

TELL ME EVERYTHING!
Recently, I was shocked when one of the attorneys involved in the case I was preparing to mediate told me that it was his experience that the mediator never reads the Statement of the Case. I was dumbfounded. This should not be a common experience. A good mediator will review every single thing any participant provides.

One of the greatest advantages of the mediation process over the judicial process is that mediation solutions are not bound by the laws of the case. Thus, understanding the legal and emotional basis of the case enables the mediator to better understand the issues that must be resolved and addressed. All of this should be part of the Statement of the Case. Further, this information sparks ideas for the mediator to submit to better solution options and more easily resolve the case.

Not every case has an emotional component, but many do and this is what sets a good Statement of the Case apart from the purely legal brief some lawyers mistakenly assume it is. As the mediator, I want to read all the evidence and law an attorney is willing to share with me. (I often look at anything that is also filed in litigation, when attorneys do not use the Statement of the Case to present their stance in a thorough manner.) The ideal Statement of the Case should share with the mediator any historical and emotional issues that most likely would never be presented in a court of law. These are very effective in helping the mediator generate acceptable problem-solving options that speak to the participants’ perceived needs. The history that “got us here” is often a useful story, and through it, the level of conflict can be revealed, understood, and addressed.

CONCLUSION
The thorough preparation of each party should be critical to the process of arriving at a suitable mediation settlement. Most cases settle. Make sure yours settles in the most effective way for the client by helping the mediator see your client’s full story.

Remember:
1. You can subscribe to The Taming of the Feud email https://galeallisonmediator.com/, and
2. If you have a great tip for attorneys and their clients involved in mediation, I’d love to interview you. Please Message to schedule with me.

My second mediation tip for attorneys, resources people, and clients. If you want to get the tips, you can sign up for the email.

The Taming of the Feud Issue 2 | Best Practices for Success: Positive Attitude

Attorney advocates to a mediation can and should play a critical role in getting their clients great results from their mediations. As the mediator and dedicated neutral in the exchange, it is easy for me to identify the very best lawyering during the mediation. However, it has been my experience that some lawyers do not take advantage of all the ways they can positively influence a better outcome for their clients.

One game changer is the vital importance of fully preparing the client to have a positive attitude before the mediation. A majority of clients are satisfied with the solutions, the experience, and their attorneys when the lawyers do one thing first: they ensure their clients completely understand the process, the goal, and the fantastic opportunity offered through mediation.

Sure, in the sessions, all mediators spend some time trying to educate the parties to the process and the fact that the mediator is a true neutral in the activities. However, at that point, the mediator is yet a stranger. Trust and confidence must still be built. The best attorneys fully prepare their clients to accept the process in the best possible light and participate openly and whole-heartedly.

In addition to fully understanding the neutral role of the mediator, all parties ideally attend mediation with open minds and complete, free willingness to share with the neutral all the issues. In problem solving and decision making, full, truthful disclosure has proven to generate more creative solutions from a wider array of options than holding back has done. This is true of any negotiation. An open, positive attitude has also been shown to generate more trust and willingness from the other side than nondisclosure, which is often interpreted as secrecy. In that light, relationships are more likely to be preserved, even strengthened. Setting positive expectations reinforces a positive attitude when the mediation happens.

When the attorneys involved explain how a client’s positive mindset can save time and money as well as lead to a more positive and creative result than court-mandated outcomes ever could, the likelihood of a great outcome becomes well within everyone’s reach. This is especially true when attorneys set client expectations before the mediation, and then maintain them during it with encouragement, explanation of options, legal clarifications, and demonstration of their own positive outlook.

Attitude is a powerful force in decision-making. An open, positive mindset when approaching a particular situation definitely affects the outcome. Clients with a positive attitude are likely to expect the best, be confident when making decisions, and make constructive, collaborative choices. On the other hand, clients with a negative attitude may be more likely to expect the worst and make decisions out of fear or trepidation. Those clients can leave the mediation with an overall feeling of dissatisfaction.

Attorney advocates are fundamental to setting client attitudes in mediation. In life and in mediation, attitude is everything!

Remember:
1. You can subscribe to The Taming of the Feud email https://galeallisonmediator.com/ on me website Home page, and
2. If you have a great tip for attorneys and their clients involved in mediation, I’d love to interview you. Please email to schedule with me.

The Taming of the Feud Issue 2 | Best Practices for Success: Positive Attitude

Attorney advocates to a mediation can and should play a critical role in getting their clients great results from their mediations. As the mediator and dedicated neutral in the exchange, it is easy for me to identify the very best lawyering during the mediation. However, it has been my experience that some lawyers do not take advantage of all the ways they can positively influence a better outcome for their clients.

One game changer is the vital importance of fully preparing the client to have a positive attitude before the mediation. A majority of clients are satisfied with the solutions, the experience, and their attorneys when the lawyers do one thing first: they ensure their clients completely understand the process, the goal, and the fantastic opportunity offered through mediation.

Sure, in the sessions, all mediators spend some time trying to educate the parties to the process and the fact that the mediator is a true neutral in the activities. However, at that point, the mediator is yet a stranger. Trust and confidence must still be built. The best attorneys fully prepare their clients to accept the process in the best possible light and participate openly and whole-heartedly.

In addition to fully understanding the neutral role of the mediator, all parties ideally attend mediation with open minds and complete, free willingness to share with the neutral all the issues. In problem solving and decision making, full, truthful disclosure has proven to generate more creative solutions from a wider array of options than holding back has done. This is true of any negotiation. An open, positive attitude has also been shown to generate more trust and willingness from the other side than nondisclosure, which is often interpreted as secrecy. In that light, relationships are more likely to be preserved, even strengthened. Setting positive expectations reinforces a positive attitude when the mediation happens.

When the attorneys involved explain how a client’s positive mindset can save time and money as well as lead to a more positive and creative result than court-mandated outcomes ever could, the likelihood of a great outcome becomes well within everyone’s reach. This is especially true when attorneys set client expectations before the mediation, and then maintain them during it with encouragement, explanation of options, legal clarifications, and demonstration of their own positive outlook.

Attitude is a powerful force in decision-making. An open, positive mindset when approaching a particular situation definitely affects the outcome. Clients with a positive attitude are likely to expect the best, be confident when making decisions, and make constructive, collaborative choices. On the other hand, clients with a negative attitude may be more likely to expect the worst and make decisions out of fear or trepidation. Those clients can leave the mediation with an overall feeling of dissatisfaction.

Attorney advocates are fundamental to setting client attitudes in mediation. In life and in mediation, attitude is everything!

Remember:
1. You can subscribe to The Taming of the Feud email https://galeallisonmediator.com/ on me website Home page, and
2. If you have a great tip for attorneys and their clients involved in mediation, I’d love to interview you. Please email to schedule with me.

The Taming of the Feud: A new newsletter and best practices for success - Voluntary Mediation

It is somewhat amazing to me how many different ways there are to approach mediation, both from the standpoint of the mediator and the standpoint of the attorneys and participants. Some methods are very successful and some are just downright awful.

One thing I’ve seen consistently is that the most essential part of successful mediation is that it should be voluntary. I have been lucky to have mostly willing participants. As a mediator, I only failed to settle one mediation and, as an advocate, one more, which we later won in court. Both times the involved parties did not want to mediate. They were present only because it was required of them.

I am sure that the voluntariness of the parties to the mediation is central to the reasons my mediations have gone well. Any mediation that is forced is rarely the best avenue for settling a dispute. A faked “good faith effort” drags everything on, wasting everyone’s time and money. Judges order mediation with the best of intentions, but some cases (hopefully rare ones) need to be settled by a jury or a judge. Sometimes, people just need their day in court. We must always preserve the rights of the parties to avail themselves of our justice system.

I am introducing my newsletter, the Taming of the Feud. The first issue discusses the voluntariness principle. Note that the title is a nod to the voluntary factor in successful mediation. Katherine, the protagonist in Shakespeare’s play, The Taming of the Shrew, was unwilling to participate in Petruchio’s marriage plan. This caused their ultimate contest of wills and earned her the characterization of a shrew - a shrieking, cantankerous, little mammal. (Had she been a willing participant instead, their problems likely would have been sorted shortly, the play would have an entirely different plot (and possibly title), and most of us might not even know what a shrew is!)

… but I digress. For the sake of best practice, I invite you to my newsletter and I encourage everyone to seek the voluntary, open-minded approach to mediation. With willing participants, I am convinced that a true good faith effort in mediation can settle all disputes.

Why a Taming of the Feud Newsletter?

Recently, I presented two CLE’s giving tips for the advocate on better ways to approach mediation. I have been encouraged by participants to continue sharing what I have learned over my years. That encourages me to continue adding to my knowledge, and I decided to share the lessons and learnings through short postings and a newsletter. The idea was warmly received by many in the mediation community, so please feel free to pass it along.

In addition to sharing the results of my experiences, my plan is to feature interviews with mediators, judges, and advocates and share the knowledge and insights acquired. I hope to distribute the widest array of helpful understanding and best practices that I can gather.

As we get things going, please email me at [email protected] to let me know if you want to receive the monthly newsletter or want to be interviewed by me for a future newsletter article.

Who Is Gale Allison?

A mediator and retired attorney, I hold three certificates in mediation. The first was from Pepperdine University which is, among other things, a world-renowned training institution for mediators. The training was for mediating any cases in litigation. It was a week of eye-opening learning that has proven invaluable and formed the bedrock of my approach. The second certificate, also from Pepperdine, was taught by an internationally known expert on Elder Care mediation. That can only be described as a unique type of mediation done in an entirely different way than all others. My third certificate was taught by a now-deceased person who was not a lawyer. It covered divorce mediation in Oklahoma. At the time, it was THE course to take on divorce mediation in Oklahoma and I learned much from this professional’s approach.

I have almost twenty years of experience in mediation, first as an advocate, then most of the last decade, as a mediator. That and my training have taught me that there are as many different ways to approach mediation as there are snowflakes -- both for the mediator and the advocates. I find I am always learning and incorporating new techniques, and one thing for sure is: there are better and worse ways to approach it. I look forward to our discussions of these things.

It's National Wear Red Day, raising awareness for preventing heart disease. Are you wearing red to support those who suffer from various heart diseases?

Peace and Joy to you in the New Year, from Gale Allison, Mediator

Gale Allison wishes you the very best of New Year’s Eve celebrations! Keep yourselves safe!

Gale Allison’s Weekend Update: In the past week, we’ve been posting all about the mediation of inheritance contests. We’re moving that conversation into next week with our posts about mediating challenges to Business Succession outcomes. https://galeallisonmediator.com

www.galeallisonmediator.com

Gale Allison Expert Witness: When blended families wind up in estate litigation, an Expert Witness can sort through the conflicts efficiently to help you win or settle your case.
https://galeallisonattorney.com/expert-witness/

Mediation - Business & Family Mediator - Gale Allison Attorney - Tulsa, Ok Nobody wants to do confrontation. With Gale Allison as your mediator you will find our goal is to resolve your mediation privately and professionally.

Gale Allison clarifies: Settling a Will dispute “out of court” means that issues are not argued in the courtroom, but are debated elsewhere, such as in Inheritance Mediation. The written settlement still goes before the court for final ruling, and the terms remain private.
https://galeallisonattorney.com/mediation/will-trust-estate-and-inheritance-mediation/

Business Mediation - Tulsa Business Mediator - Gale Allison Along with being an attorney, Gale Allison is also a business mediator, whose areas of practice are business succesion along with business mediation.

Gale Allison NewsShare: Here are a few case studies from the UK on Inheritance Dispute Mediation.
https://effectivedisputesolutions.co.uk/mediation/case-studies/inheritance-probate-disputes

Inheritance Disputes | Mediation Case Studies | EDSL Inheritance, probate, will disputes, claimant claimed to be the executor named in the last will of her late mother, all assets, £4,277,000

Gale Allison Adviso: In complex probate cases involving blended families, an experienced Inheritance Mediator can help clients assure that all parties are heard and all disputes are addressed.
https://galeallisonattorney.com/mediation/will-trust-estate-and-inheritance-mediation/

Business Mediation - Tulsa Business Mediator - Gale Allison Along with being an attorney, Gale Allison is also a business mediator, whose areas of practice are business succesion along with business mediation.

Gale Allison’s Shootout at the Family Quarrel: When disputes arise because the terms of a Will are confusing, take clients to a skilled Inheritance Mediator for a faster, more peaceful resolution of the issues.
https://galeallisonattorney.com/mediation/will-trust-estate-and-inheritance-mediation/

Business Mediation - Tulsa Business Mediator - Gale Allison Along with being an attorney, Gale Allison is also a business mediator, whose areas of practice are business succesion along with business mediation.

May your unity be self-determined as you work collectively and cooperate financially toward the purpose of Kwanzaa with creativity and faith. Great Kwanzaa greetings from Gale Allison, Mediator.

Merry, Merry Christmas to you and yours from Gale Allison, Mediator

Gale Allison’s Weekly Good Start: "Be willing to be a beginner every single morning." Meister Exkhart (1260-1328), German theologian, philosopher and mystic. https://galeallisonmediator.com

www.galeallisonmediator.com

Enjoy your Christmas Eve celebrations and be careful if going out! From Gale Allison, Mediator

Gale Allison’s Weekend Update: Our theme this past week was reflected in our posts about divorce mediation, and coming up, we’ll discuss mediating inheritance contests. https://galeallisonmediator.com

www.galeallisonmediator.com

Gale Allison Expert Witness: When estate litigation involves complex Will problems, an Expert Witness with many years of experience in descent and distribution can save countless hours in research and discovery.
https://galeallisonattorney.com/expert-witness/

Mediation - Business & Family Mediator - Gale Allison Attorney - Tulsa, Ok Nobody wants to do confrontation. With Gale Allison as your mediator you will find our goal is to resolve your mediation privately and professionally.

Real questions from real people about mediation for business, divorce, elder and adult care, inheritances, wills and trusts: Gale Allison's Asked and Answered Blog.
https://galeallisonattorney.com/who-can-clients-invite-to-divorce-mediation/

Who can clients invite to divorce mediation? - Gale Allison Attorney Who can clients invite to divorce mediation? - The Gale Allison team's entire practice is dedicated to helping you plan, carry out, and clearly resolve issues with your final wishes.

Gale Allison NewsShare: Tidbits on mediating difficult cases from DivorceMag.com.
https://www.divorcemag.com/articles/4-ways-divorce-mediation-can-help-resolve-difficult-cases

4 Ways Divorce Mediation Can Help Resolve Difficult Cases Divorce mediation can help settle disputes in a non-adversarial manner. Here are a few things to keep in mind if you're considering it to settle your case.

Gale Allison Adviso: Attorneys for both parties should be included in their clients’ Divorce mediation sessions to assure clients understand the terms and language and to help draft the written settlement agreement.
https://galeallisonattorney.com/mediation/divorce-family-mediation/

Family Mediation - Gale Allison Attorney - Tulsa, OK Gale Allison is available to mediate your legal matters whether it be family, eldercare, divorce, or estate and inheritance mediation.

Gale Allison’s Shootout at the Family Quarrel: When clients are willing to settle asset separation issues privately, a Divorce Mediator can help them come to an agreement efficiently and peacefully.
https://galeallisonattorney.com/mediation/divorce-family-mediation/

Family Mediation - Gale Allison Attorney - Tulsa, OK Gale Allison is available to mediate your legal matters whether it be family, eldercare, divorce, or estate and inheritance mediation.

Happy Hanukkah! Gale Allison hopes you let those lights shine as you enjoy the holiday with your family!

Gale Allison’s Weekly Good Start: “You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.” Mary Pickford (1892-1979) Canadian-American stage and screen actress and producer https://galeallisonmediator.com

www.galeallisonmediator.com

Gale Allison’s Weekend Update: Hope you learned something from our posts this week on mediating disagreements about Trust administration. Stay tuned for next week’s posts on Divorce mediation. .
https://galeallisonmediator.com

www.galeallisonmediator.com

Gale Allison Expert Witness: When a Trust goes to litigation, an Expert Witness experienced in understanding Trust Administration law can help you settle or win your case more quickly.
https://galeallisonattorney.com/expert-witness/

Mediation - Business & Family Mediator - Gale Allison Attorney - Tulsa, Ok Nobody wants to do confrontation. With Gale Allison as your mediator you will find our goal is to resolve your mediation privately and professionally.

Gale Allison clarifies: When a grantor dies, her Trust does not go through probate court unless some asset was omitted from it, instructions are unclear, or beneficiaries and successor trustees are fighting over it. Mediation is a friendlier, less costly way to handle those disputes.
https://galeallisonattorney.com/mediation/will-trust-estate-and-inheritance-mediation/

Business Mediation - Tulsa Business Mediator - Gale Allison Along with being an attorney, Gale Allison is also a business mediator, whose areas of practice are business succesion along with business mediation.