The Real George Santos

God, guns, and garters for men. This is my new platform

I'm so excited that Billy invited me to MC this festival, make sure you donate to my campaign and buy a ticket, it's 100% guaranteed

Billy McFarland Announces Fyre Festival II Is 'Finally Happening' Following His Prison Release Billy McFarland, the organizer of the first failed Fyre Festival concert experience, announced on Twitter this week that a second iteration of the event is in the works

Josh Lafazan you really think you can take me on?!? Alright crimson chin let's do this then!

Joe Biden is the liariest liar who ever lied to the American people

Happy pagan fertility festival!!

I helped Congresswoman Lauren Boebert I can help anyone, because big b***s means votes if your constituents are stupid enough

Sorry I haven't been posting, I had to help speaker McCarthy cover up some stuff and find someone who would put their name on my fec filings

I'm looking for a Brazilian woman or a teenager to fill that whole in my heart, must be honest

Listen, I may have bought those white puppies, but I'm not responsible for where they ended up

Stop tweeting me!!!

Ethics are what we Republicans say they are, I win again 😛

House Republicans voted to gut the Office of Congressional Ethics, and George Santos said it was 'fantastic' "It's a good thing for transparency. It's a good thing for Americans," Santos said of rule changes that some say will hobble the ethics body.

I have some purebred Amish puppies for sale, no checks, bring cash in hand to my district office to adopt the puppies

I'd like to thank you all for tuning in for my victory, I was also named MVP of this year's

This is the kinda GOTCHA journalism you see from the left these days, all just trying to make me appear like a liar! Well The Late Show with Stephen Colbert who's laughing now??

George Santos Sits Down With Stephen Colbert Stephen attempts to get the truth from George Santos in this exclusive sit down interview. ---Subscribe To "The Late Show" Channel:...

IT HAS HAPPENED!! AS FOR TOLD IN THE PROPHECY!!

"Grab the staffer by the junk" -
George Santos
And Trump
And Clinton

Mitt Romney why were you so mean to me, I thought we were on the same side bro?!!

I was very excited to see so many of my constituents outside my office today

Jokes on them, I actually love a good deep probe into me

McCarthy confirms Santos is facing House probe House Speaker Kevin McCarthy said New York GOP Rep. George Santos is facing a House Ethics Committee probe, confirming for the first time that the panel has opened an investigation into the embattled freshman. McCarthy said the House will take action depending on what the panel finds.

Okay fancy nail!! Think you're "too cool to do my nails" because "I'm a liar" and a "bad human being" maybe I can't "wipe properly" or "reach all the parts of my body" ya judgy judgersons let's see who's really going down now

Listen, according to the rules of the multiverse, in at least a few dozen of these realities I am spiderman for real. So think about that next time you all talk s**t

Living the 'Murican dream, flying jets, running for president, and stopping Chinese spies

Who's ya daddy? Trump is mine I just found out, boom

While searching around Washington DC I was able to find Donald J. Trump healthcare plan, if you remove me from office I will destroy it before this amazing plan goes into place and fixes the healthcare system

Fine, I'm ready to reveal where my campaign money came from.

I'm just saying with my gun pin, I kinda called this one

With the help of Congresswoman Lauren Boebert I've reached a deal with Republican leaders, I can lie about my campaign finances, wear a dress, and even associate with pedophiles as long as I carry a firearm.

MURICA!! dig out your checkbook, your best new vote for sale is here!!!!

Now hiring, pays well but must be willing to lie on legal forms, sing karaoke, and field calls from my constituents

sat·ire
/ˈsaˌtī(ə)r/
noun
the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.
"the crude satire seems to be directed at the fashionable protest singers of the time"

Please do not actually write threats to elected officials, while this is fun having a laugh at the stupidity of a particularly nefarious individual don't let your mouth get ahead of your brain.

18 U.S.C. § 871

Hey Rep. Jimmy Gomez since I was shot with four of my employees at the pulse night club, I think I'd know that the only cure for gun violence, is more gun violence. Babies wouldn't be aborted if they had guns to defend themselves, and Jesus wouldn't have been crucified if he'd have had an AR