Virginia Swain, M.A., Career and Life Direction

Will you contribute? I'm concerned about all the violence in my city, Worcester, MA. As part of my succession planning, I am organizing an interfaith coalition to train Reconciliation Leaders, my life's work.

gofund.me

My friend Mike Collins died last year. He wrote a poem that I'd like to share called Reconciliation Nation--a perfect poem for reflection as we approach elections

Lessons of Reconciliation
Addresses to the Soul’s Nation
Thinking and feeling, the new companions
Building bridges across discord’s canyons
Arriving in time to rehabilitee the minions of power’sinsanity
When fault is a salt poured in tender wounds
Entombing compassion’s legacy
Most I know prefer to drink from the sacred well of accord
Fording acrimony requires. Heart and celestial vision
It takes courage to claim the hearth fire where peace abides
Whose white blaze turns retaliation forever into ashes
To be sprinkled upon compassion’s fresh soil
Tilled into the produce of the millennium season
Here, conciliation is now the uncompromised teacher of souls
Where hope point us toward beautiful destinations unchainedby enmity
By Michael E. Collins, Beloved Poet and Friend, died 7/5/22

Have you had an experience of darkness which broke you open?

I offer a chapter in my book, My Soul's Journey to Redefine Leadership: A New Phoenix Rises from 9/11 dedicated to my brother, Bobby Swain, who died 45 years ago last Friday. His 71st birthday was yesterday/. For more, go to virginiaswain.com/new-book.

Broken Open By the Darkness of Death

I'll never forget August 15, 1979. It was hot and sultry, not uncommon for August in New England. I was at work at the Pepperidge Farm Mail Order Company in Clinton, CT, going through a particularly grueling morning when, at 11:15, the receptionist buzzed me. My brother, Bobby, was on the line.
"Ginge," he said, his voice strained, "can we have lunch? Janna won't see me."
I cradled the phone in my neck, trying to sort through papers while I listened to my brother. My boss came into my office motioning that he needed me right away. "Bobby," I said, "I'm not even eating lunch today. It's crazy around here."
"But I need to see you," he said. Ten years my junior, Bobby treated me like a second mother and often turned to me for help.
"How about next week? Can we meet then?"
"Okay," he said, sounding disappointed. "If you don't have time, I'll wait." There was a pause. He said nothing for a moment. Then he said, "I really need to see you today. But if you don't have time, I'll wait." I went about my day, thankful that I had time to do my work without interruption.
The next morning the phone rang at 5:30 a.m., startling me awake. Through my half asleep state, I heard my mother's voice, breaking,..."It's about Bobby...He was killed last night by a drunk driver on Avon Mountain. Dad is on his way to identify his body at the morgue."
An unexpected sound escaped from my mouth to voice the shock, the pain and yes, the denial. No, no, it can't be true. These things don't happen to us, they happen to other people. I was numb with shock. The memory of the previous day's conversation rushed back to me -- how could it be? I didn't believe it. I started screaming. My screaming woke up my stepdaughter, Amanda. "Mom, what's wrong?"
I couldn't stop screaming. Oddly, it occurred to me that I had never screamed like that before. It surprised me. I didn't know I had it in me. I was flooded with memories of Bobby's life and our relationship. I was the oldest and he the youngest in a family of four children. I was his second mother as I was often left in charge when my parents went out of the house. We had a bond that came from the lullabies I sang to him as I rocked him as a child, from the stories I read to him. He turned to me for emotional help often as he had turned to me yesterday. And I hadn't been available. It was the screaming of guilt flying out from deep within my soul.
I was unable to take in the enormity of Bobby's life ending. A cold dread enveloped me as we drove the hour-long trip to my Grandfather Pop's house that morning where the family gathered. We sat there, alternately staring in disbelief and holding each other. We were crying, broken, bereft, and still not quite believing. The details of the accident started dribbling in--a drunken driver...60 m.p.h...killed instantly.
The doorbell rang. It was my oldest friend Pam with a loaf of bread, freshly baked from the oven. We hugged, wordless. Chokingly, I thanked her for the act of kindness. Breaking the bread, I took a bit and found I couldn't swallow it. How strange--my most rudimentary of human reflexes was suspended.
The phone calls came in from people far and wide. Loved ones, friends, acquaintances, Bobby's friends...all unbelieving...could the worst be true? Bad news travels fast. People came from Bobby's circle which extended beyond our town not only to the medical school where he had finished his first year that June, but also to his college and to a local private school, one all four of us had attended, and where he had taught for two years before med school.
My father came in after he had identified Bobby's body. Now we knew it was true.
He couldn't speak. He couldn't cry either. He crumpled into Pop's favorite chair. His silence dragged on as if the rest of us weren't there. He was in his own world and we were cut off from him. I watched the second hand on Pop's grandfather clock tick away, for hours it seemed, as people came and went to offer comfort and support. When would this day ever end? When it did, would I wake up and realize this was a bad dream?
I sleepwalked through the two days before the funeral. My son, Tad, came home after climbing Mt. Washington with his dad, Tom. My heart broke open again as I told them what had happened and saw how upset they were. On the day of the funeral, my friend, Susan, drove three hours to stand in the church driveway as we drove in, her face full of compassion and concern. We didn't say anything, we just held one another. Then I saw Janna, Bobby's girlfriend. I turned my back on her angrily, remembering how upset Bobby had been by her refusal to see him. Walking into the church, I was stunned by the numbers. The church held 2,000 people. So many were there mourning one so young.
The words the Episcopalian priest spoke that day were simple but challenging for me: "Our prayers this morning for Robert Burrough Swain III... express to God our gratitude for this open, lovable, committed young man...But there is another intercession that I fear each of us must offer in a manner that best suits himself or herself; for understanding, for some explanation of this tragic event. Why did this have to happen to Bobby? Is there no standard of fair play in life? Has God no control over the world that He so lovingly created? Has He no heart that can express itself in what for Him would be some insignificant event, but for us a catastrophe? Does life end just like that with nothing permanent or different left in the world because Bobby was here? I can't answer your questions. I can only ask the questions that I seek answers to. But they come crowding in upon us at a time like this--confusing, depressing, and endless questions. And I am sure that none of us can, this morning, find any answers to them. But this flood of questions can perhaps force us to take that leap of faith into the unknown, trusting our deepest emotions and convictions regarding the shape of that creative power that designed the universe..."
I did not trust my deepest emotions and convictions about God. I didn't even know what a leap of faith was. When I left the church to go home after our family gathering, I had no resources, no previous experience to help me to cope with tragedy. I was stripped bare. Nothing in my belief system offered me comfort or solace. I didn't have a personal relationship with God. I'd never felt so low. In the months ahead, the depression lasted, punctuated by loud outbursts and fits of crying. My family, my friends--everyone was estranged by my anger, even my mother. I sealed myself off from the world I had known.
In the next year I was to experience two more deaths--the deaths of my marriage and my father. I even contemplated su***de, angrily planning to drive my car into a cement abutment on Route 95. My mother called my therapist. I was angry at her for doing that, not even seeing how concerned she was. Either I was angry or I was crying. My anger erupted everywhere. And then there were the long moments of uncomfortable silence when I was alone in despair and it made me crazy. I took long walks on the beach near my home on the Connecticut shore, planning how fast I would drive my car into the abutment on Route 95. I was convinced no one understood or cared about me.
I cut off all my relationships--nobody could approach me. I was hanging on to life, just barely, obsessed by the thought of death, angered by incredible loss.
In retrospect, I see that this was the beginning of my spiritual journey. It was this darkness, so bleak, this emptiness, so vast, which began my search for a personal relationship with God.
"For what does it profit a (wo)man if(s)he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits (her) himself?" Luke 9:25 RSV
A question to reflect upon in meditation or to explore in journal writing:
Have you had an experience of darkness which broke you open?
https://www.facebook.com/virginiaswain3

Monday at 7:00-8:30 is our monthly America's Soul Community.
Bring paper and colored markers to doodle!
Zoom link is at virginiaswain.com/upcoming-events
More at
https://citizenconnect.us/event/americas-soul-community-11/

https://global-leader.org/americas-soul-cafes/

Save the date!

MIDWEEK March 27: Virginia Swain | Moving From Blame to Accountability (Reconciliation Leadership II) · Luma About this MIDWEEK practice With a foundation of our goodness, we will then explore withdrawing blame onto others as a first step to move blame cultures into accountability cultures. We...

Dear March—by Emily Dickenson

Come in—
How glad I am—
I hoped for you before—
Put down your Hat—
You must have walked—
How out of Breath you are—
Dear March, how are you, and the Rest—
Did you leave Nature well—
Oh March, Come right upstairs with me—
I have so much to tell—
I got your Letter, and the Birds—
The Maples never knew that you were coming—
I declare - how Red their Faces grew—
But March, forgive me—
And all those Hills you left for me to Hue—
There was no Purple suitable—
You took it all with you—
Who knocks? That April—
Lock the Door—
I will not be pursued—
He stayed away a Year to call
When I am occupied—
But trifles look so trivial
As soon as you have come
That blame is just as dear as Praise
And Praise as mere as Blame—

Join me online At America’s Soul Community Monday March 4 at 7:00-8:30. Bring colored markers and paper to doodle
For zoom info go virginiaswain.com/upcoming-events

Please join me Monday at 7:00-8:30 pm!

Join me online At America’s Soul Community Monday March 4 at 7:00-8:30. Bring colored markers and paper to doodle
For zoom info go virginiaswain.com/upcoming-events

https://youtu.be/JskpApm2jvU?si=i73iAT-BL6_UND2a

John O'Donohue - on Ageing

One day we will all sung together as one!

One Day Song (3000 people Muslim, Christian, Jewish & more from many countries) From the brilliant 'Koolulam Project'! See credits below!Here in Israel are over 3,000 people from various religions, Muslim, Christian, Jewish & more from m...

https://www.interfaithamerica.org/article/senators-join-bipartisan-effort-to-heal-civic-divides-heres-why-it-matters/

Senators Join Bipartisan Effort to Heal Civic Divides. Here's Why It Matters. - Interfaith America Focusing on strengthening local civic groups, bipartisan bills in the House and Senate aim to bridge civic divides. A broad array of community groups are endorsing the effort.

Do you need help with a life or work challenge? An Offer for Career and Life Direction ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ Visit our website Greetings! I am pleased to offer virtual career and life direction coaching for individuals and groups. Life Coaching and Individual Ca

https://conta.cc/3DvFm4g

Do you need help with a life or work challenge? An Offer for Career and Life Direction ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ Visit our website Greetings! I am pleased to offer virtual career and life direction coaching for individuals and groups. Life Coaching and Individual Ca

Do you need help finding a job or career? An Offer for Career and Life Direction ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ Visit our website Greetings! I am pleased to offer virtual career and life direction coaching for individuals and groups. Individual Career Support At th

https://conta.cc/3kG7laX

Do you need help finding a job or career? An Offer for Career and Life Direction ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ Visit our website Greetings! I am pleased to offer virtual career and life direction coaching for individuals and groups. Individual Career Support At th

Please call me for a free consultation!

Are you hoping you can make a difference in your world?

https://conta.cc/3VLFpQx

Merry Christmas and Happy 2023 As we approach our 80th birthdays on June 8 and 24th 2023, we continue to dance, pray, and dialogue with one another each morning as we have for 29 years together. We have a short update on 2022 below

Do you struggle with burnout or overcommitment?

Do people's reactions confuse you?

Do you wonder why people do not understand you, react negatively or are allienated from you?

Would you like to have coping strategies to deal with you needs and fears?

Do you need help finding a job, career or vocation?

Do you want to be in service to the planet but need help finding and living out your personal mission?

Offering my coaching and consulting services for black Friday week Black Friday through December 3 at Noon ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ Visit our website Greetings! Thanksgiving greetings! I am pleased to offer 20% off on my hourly rate and 10% off on all programs from Black Friday, Nove

November Career virtual support group led by Virginia Swain, M.A. with 30 years of career coaching and teaching experience, offers participants an opportunity to find a meaningful job or career using professional assessment options where your values, interests and abilities intersect. We will prepare a resume and cover letter which reflects your career strengths and achievements. Virginia supports you to draw on your unique talents, skills and practical experience to express yourself and act with confidence in the workplace. Starts in November at the convenience of participants. See www.VirginiaSwain.com or call Virginia at 508-245-6843. $800 for eight sessions of 2 hours eachfering a job/career support group for 8 weeks.
virginiaswain.com

Its been 42 years since Bobby’s fatal accident at 27 with a drunken driver but each year at this time i feel devastated but over time so grateful to Bobby for how i have learned to live life so differently because i treasure life differently. Here’s the first chapter of my latest book i call spiritual emergency https://virginiaswain.com/spiritual-emergency/. My book can be found at VirginiaSwain.com/new-book

dear friends,
https://myemail.constantcontact.com/Are-you-hoping-you-can-make-a-difference-in-your-world-.html?soid=1102539684940&aid=WOhu1zvfaRs

Are you hoping you can make a difference in your world?

I would be honored to serve as your life coach, career counselor, spiritual companion or counselor
VirginiaSwain.com/coaching

Coaching for Mission-Focused Leadership - Virginia Swain I speak, inspire, motivate and coach individuals, teams and groups to access the spiritual and apply the practical to their calling. With my methodology, you develop leadership skills based on your vision, passion and mission. You will be able to express your best self, equipped with the resources t...

For my career and life direction work go to
VirginiaSwain.com

What makes you come alive?Infuse your career with personal passion. - Virginia Swain Be a practical idealist. Inspire others. Build bridges. Infuse your life, leadership, career or retirement. Restore humanity in the workplace and society. Become the positive and joyful person you are destined to be. Have you felt off-balance, unfulfilled in your work, and certain there are better w...