Sammy Bee Life Coaching (2024)

16/02/2023

I have some exciting news to share, my friends. My partner and I are expecting a baby girl this June. We are beyond thrilled and can't wait to meet her. 💕

This pregnancy is a lot different than my first pregnancy, seven years ago.

💛I'm with a partner who not only stayed but who supports me with such love and adoration
💛I have another child who can delight in the anticipation of having a sibling
💛I have a relationship with my body that is mostly healed

I can't tell you how different I feel about my body this time around. I see her expand, grow, stretch and plump and, instead of feeling disgust or shame, I'm filled with awe.

This? This is how capable and powerful and beautiful my body is?

I had no idea.

This is the same body that was there for me 7 years ago when I apologized for her, shamed her, hid her and despised her.

The body is the same, but my relationship with her is wholly different.

I'm so grateful for all the hard work I walked through while healing my relationship with food and body. I'm so grateful for the coaches, support systems and resources that helped me get here. You know who you are.

I'm so grateful to raise a daughter who will learn that her body is a gift to be treasured, and that its appearance is not nearly as important as the world will suggest it is.

I'm so grateful for my body. She's always been there for me - it's just that now I have the vantage point to appreciate, respect and value her - something every body deserves. 💛

17/01/2023

We aren’t robots. We can’t expect to push ourselves into being perfect. So how can we grow and reach our goals while still being self-connected? 💛

01/01/2023

Here's your Sunday 🥂New Year's 🥂 reminder that you don't have to be perfect in 2023. You can make changes, you can work on cultivating a life more aligned with who you are and what you want, but you don't have to do it perfectly. Or at all.

Your safety, security and lovability are not contingent on your appearance or performance.

So take a deep breath, and center yourself in love for YOU.

May your actions in 2023 be a result of the love and deep care you have for you and the beautiful life you deserve.

Cheers to 2023 🎊 I'm rooting for you, always.

30/12/2022

You didn't know. 💛

25/12/2022

Here's your Sunday ✨Holiday✨ reminder that special occasions aren't "excuses" to eat the foods you love.

You get to eat what you love all👏 year 👏 round.👏

Happy holidays, my friends. Enjoy today.

22/12/2022

Here's what I see happen the most with my clients who lack self-trust; they don’t’ trust their integrity with themselves so they think they have to listen to their inner critic to be good enough. They basically beat the crap out of themselves, they harshly judge and criticize themselves, they demand perfection, they view their actions as either ‘good’ or ‘bad’, and they do that because they think they have to, in order to keep themselves in line. They think if they were kind to themselves, if they had grace and forgiveness, they’d just keep making the same mistakes and never quote “get better.” They see their shortcomings as devastating failings and indicators of their worth, instead of seeing them as misalignments that need our compassion and curiosity in order to understand and grow from. So being gentle on themselves, doing things like resting, letting themselves have some pleasure (especially pleasure from food) and removing the pressure of perfection are seen as excuses of the weak. Others deserve those things, sure, but not them. They have too much to do. They have too much wrong with them. They’re too unhappy and they need to figure this out so they can be happy. They won’t be accepted by others if they didn’t demand their own perfection. They live with chronic anxiety from all that pressure, but here’s the kicker - the thought of releasing some of the pressure seems much more scary and unsafe than actually keeping the pressure of perfectionism with them all the time.

20/12/2022

Self-trust doesn’t mean you trust that you’ll know everything or do everything perfectly. It’s knowing that you will be kind and respectful to yourself regardless of what happens. If you have self-trust and make a mistake, you don’t step away from self in doubt and shame, but instead step toward self in curiosity and compassion.

And the reason people with high self-trust do this is because they can trust themselves not to be punitive when they make mistakes. They can look openly at their experience without fear of self-punishment.

They care much more about learning and growing than protecting themselves – because their selves are not so fragile.

18/12/2022

Here's your Sunday reminder that if you feel like you have to get everything done and do everything perfectly in order to feel "ok," you're putting your energy into the wrong thing.

Your energy should be going into how to feel "ok" with yourself without getting everything done and doing everything perfectly.

That's where the real ✨magic✨ is.

15/12/2022

Listen, I love a good hack to make life simpler and go more smoothly – but when we focus entirely on how to get everything right, we miss out on the beauty and peace that comes from knowing we don’t have to get it all right to be enough. 💛

14/12/2022

Learning how to have your own back doesn’t mean lowering your standards, it doesn’t mean giving up on your dreams or not taking accountability for your actions.

Learning how to have your own back means that deep down, you know your human value is untouchable; untouched by mistakes, failures or disappointments. It means you know that the grass isn’t greener on the other side, because you’re just as worthy on this side, where you are right now.

It makes growing and evolving and changing less weighty and heavy and way more fun and motivating, because our human value isn’t riding on it.

11/12/2022

Here's your Sunday reminder that no one cares about your body size nearly as much as diet culture would like you to believe.

Just breathe. Give yourself compassion and love. And keep working on healing. I believe in you.

09/12/2022

When we’re self-detached, we need our external environment to be ok for us to be ok. We need things to happen smoothly, predictably, or even perfectly for us to feel secure and safe and at peace.

Now listen, of course life is easier and more enjoyable when things are happening more smoothly, more predictably or perfectly. Of course mistakes, road blocks, imperfections, disappointments, rejections, hurts, wounds, failures, sicknesses, losses, meltdowns, are hard. They’re not fun, and it makes sound sense that we take steps to avoid these disappointments from happening.

But if we find ourselves swimming in anxiety around making sure we get everything right because we’re so afraid of life’s disappointments, that’s when we’ve become self-detached. We don’t trust ourselves to be ok even amidst life’s disappointments. We can’t find safety, security, peace within ourselves; the idea of coming home to ourselves might not make sense if we’re self-detached because we don’t’ feel at home with ourselves alone in our internal environment. We need other things, external things, to be a certain way before we can feel calm.

07/12/2022

So you can see how much pressure and anxiety that creates right, on creating this perfect external environment? We have to look a certain way, our house has to look a certain way, our kids have to behave a certain way, our marriage has to appear a certain way, our finances and belongings have to appear a certain way. Everything has to be planned and executed perfectly to be ok. And the real insidious part about anxiety is that if our external environment is not planned and executed perfectly, we make it mean something awful about ourselves. We’re incompetent. Weak. Dumb. Lazy. We can’t be trusted to make decisions or lead our families well.

A lot of our identity is weighing on this performance and appearance, which means a lot of our safety and well-being is weighing on this performance and appearance.

And instead of seeing yourself as incompetent or weak for struggling with anxiety, I like to remind my clients that experiencing anxiety is actually an important signal to us that experiencing self-detachment.

05/12/2022

We don't have to worry about our worry.

We don't have to believe it or obey it.

Being curious and open with it is the first step to understanding it.

04/12/2022

Here's your Sunday reminder that life is 50/50. 50% positive emotion, 50% negative emotion. And while that might seem sad or depressing, it's actually a beautiful thing to remember.

You don't have to feel guilty for moments of disappointment or anger. You don't have to distract yourself from sadness or discomfort. You don't have to worry about being worried.

You get to remember that you're a human, and the human experience is 50/50. Which means you can let the anger, sadness, disgust, disappointment, jealousy, resentment and fear come in and out like a wave. You don't have to be shocked or surprised when you're visited by these negative emotions. You can make peace with them being there. You can feel them fully. You can open the door and let them in, and you can shut the door behind when they leave.

You don't have to freak out. You don't have to fight or despair.

There's nothing you can do to avoid feeling negative emotions.

You can't perfect your way out of them.

Learning how to let them move through you can be a beautiful part of being human.

02/12/2022

It's important to remember that feeling depressed or numb or apathetic during the holidays only means your nervous system is responding to external stressors by shutting it out. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you.

30/11/2022

The holidays can be a stressful time and one major reason is because we put so much pressure on ourselves - specifically our appearance and our performance. We want to look and behave and prepare perfectly. Not because we care a lot about appearances, but because we've learned in our childhood that appearance and performance matters when it comes to connection, safety and security.

Which makes holidays extra triggering for those of us who have the subconscious wiring to over-value other people's perception of us.

29/11/2022

The holidays can be triggering for anyone. There's nothing wrong with you if your internal experience doesn't match your external expectations. 💛

21/11/2022

There's so much shame when we cope with food. We feel so guilty, and so embarrassed.

And also so hopeless.

We think there's just something wrong with us; we just really need food and we'll never be ok without using it to cope.

But the truth is, it's not about the food. And if you stay consistent in doing the work of unlearning diet culture and working on inner healing, food will lose it's power over you. And your relationship with yourself with ignite and expand.

20/11/2022

Here's your Sunday reminder that the reason why you resort to binge eating isn't because you just really love food or have no self-control.

The rigidity you're placing on yourself is what causes you to resort to bingeing.

You either restrict food physically or mentally, or you restrict pleasure and rest - you push yourself so hard for so long that the only sufficient form of 'pleasure' is to binge.

The beautiful thing is, you don't have to keep your rigidity. You can loosen that tight grip of pressure you put on yourself.

And I can help you do that. .💛

18/11/2022

I think we stop shaming people who just want to completely check out at the end of the day.

The shame comes from the fear that we actually like being "lazy", unproductive and gluttonous. We're so afraid that that's who we really are.

But the thing is - we're just freaking exhausted. Overwhelmed. Stressed.

If we prioritized rest and pleasure into our daily lives and removed the pressure of being PERFECT, we'd have the energy and capacity to partake in other activities that we enjoy.

But we push those desires for pleasure off. We push them off, over and over, until finally we just need to check out and numb with food and screens.

You're not lazy or gluttonous. You're exhausted. And bingeing food while watching TV is actually one way you're taking care of yourself (contrary to what you might believe).

16/11/2022

When we do things for pleasure that require energy when we have none to give, then those “pleasures” become “obligations” real quick. Those things, those activities that you absolutely love and, in the right setting, can light you up and make you feel so happy or calm or content or fulfilled – even those things sound awful or challenging when you’re maxed out and have no more energy to give.

So here we are, overworked, carrying all this pressure to do everything perfectly – to be the best employee, mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, colleague, to have the best meals, to have the cleanest and most beautiful home – we carry this pressure and we freaking execute it in so many ways – and finally, at the end of the day when our energy stores are utterly depleted and we -finally- get the kids down for bed and we get one maybe two hours of “me” time before we go to sleep.

That “me” time is so freaking overdue. All of those pleasurable things that we love and society loves, start to sound un-freaking-bearable. No, I don’t want to learn a new instrument right now, no I don’t want to learn about investing, no I don’t want to workout or volunteer at the food shelter, no I don’t want to go out to dinner with my friends or even call my friends, I for sure do not want to meditate or journal right now.

Know what I and so many of my clients want instead? We want to check the F out. We want to experience pleasure and rest so we can calm our nervous systems which have been dysregulated all dang day and we want to just have some freaking comfort. We want this moment that’s just for us. Where no one needs us. Where we don’t have to be ‘on.’ Where we can just forget all of our responsibilities. We can forget all of our duties, and pressures, and obligations. Where we can just check out.

14/11/2022

💛

13/11/2022

Here's your Sunday reminder that you deserve pleasure. You don't have to earn it. You don't have to burn out first to be worthy of it. You get to have ice cream just because you want ice cream.

Sometimes we deny ourselves pleasure and rest because we were told in our lives that that's what we should do. But tell me, how is that going for you? How is it serving you?

You have permission to partake in pleasure just for the sake of pleasure. And I'm sorry you were made to believe that you didn't.

11/11/2022

How do we rest when it's so dang uncomfortable?

We might have to start out small, maybe 15 minutes of rest at first. Or enjoy something just for the sake of our own pleasure. Now listen, food is for sure a joy and pleasure that we can absolutely delight in. But my invitation is to enjoy it mindfully. Actually pay attention to the food while you eat it, delight in it. Soak it in. I’m not suggesting that we binge to give ourselves the rest and pleasure that we deserve (although, if you have binged and continue to do that, please remember that you’re still worthy and good, ok?). I’m not suggesting it, however, because often binges aren’t really that pleasurable. Like I said, they’re more like a way to escape and numb. I want you to be pleasantly present so you can really enjoy it. Whatever activity, or lack of activity, you choose to partake in.

You’re not innately lazy. If you struggle getting things done and choose to escape or numb or zone out instead, there’s likely something going on that needs your attention and compassion. You don’t need more self-discipline, you don’t need to work harder to be worthy of rest and pleasure. And I’m sorry you were made to believe that you do.

09/11/2022

There’s been a link created in our wiring that ties laziness with being immoral, so when we do actually rest, resting can be quite unbearable.

Because it means we’re faced with that guilt and shame of believing we’re bad by resting. And when we’re swimming in shame about our worthiness, we can often numb and escape with food. It was true for me, and for so many of my clients, that we can’t rest without bingeing with food. Rest, pleasure, soothing – all of it revolves around food. And it’s not because we’re just that gluttonous or out of control, it’s because these false belief systems have taken away the beauty and the gift that is rest and pleasure. We’ve made those things, those necessary, restorative things, bad. And the only way to get the rest and pleasure we need is to numb the whole experience with food so we don’t have to feel that shame, for the time-being anyway. Because, as you know if you struggle with binge eating, the shame will be there, even louder, after the binge.

07/11/2022

Our bodies, our planet, our brains are not meant to be energetic all of the time. We know this. We’ve accepted it in a lot of ways – we see the importance of rest, we see the importance of allowing repair. We know with intuitive eating, the less rigid we are, the better our bodies feel because the more intuitive they can be, which restores that kind of homeostasis, that balance and harmony within our own bodies.

But somehow, there’s been this de-valuing of rest, pleasure, comfort and stillness. Somehow, those things have been demoted as selfish, “I’ll get to it as soon as I have everything else done” types of needs. That we have to earn these things. We have to earn rest, have to earn pleasure, we have to earn comfort. When the only being that can tell us when we need rest, pleasure and comfort is our body and she will tell us if we just pay attention.

But - We’ve been taught that we shouldn’t’ trust our bodies. We’re naturally gluttonous, lazy and we need rigidity and rules to be ok. We’re taught we need to work hard, as hard as possible, to be valuable humans. What the heck? Our bodies, just like other animals’ bodies, know what they need to thrive. And thriving can look like resting and repairing. It’s not like ‘thriving’ means we’re just always productive. Why would we make that association? Why were we taught to disconnect from our bodies, and listen to others to tell us when we can rest, when we can have pleasure and comfort?

Laziness, my friends, is a Puritanical narrative based on the sin of idleness which was used to oppress people into forced labor.

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