Carolyn Stern

Carolyn Stern

Emotional Intelligence Speaker, Trainer & Award-Winning Author of The Emotionally Strong Leader.

03/08/2024

🌟 The only limits in life are the ones you set for yourself! 🌟

Embracing this mindset is a key part of developing emotional intelligence. By understanding and managing our emotions, we can break through self-imposed barriers and unlock our full potential. Remember, it's not just about recognizing our feelings but also about channeling them into positive actions and growth. 🚀

Stay mindful, stay motivated, and keep pushing your boundaries! 💪✨

26/07/2024

Let's face it - biases exist in the office. We've often heard it: some leaders praised for forthrightness and passion; yet others with the same skills are labeled bossy and emotional. ⚖️

But attitudes are shifting, valuing emotional intelligence and leadership traits like assertiveness and emotional expression. ✅

Emotional expression is simply expressing feelings constructively. Early in my career, I faced criticism for being too sensitive when sharing emotions. I was told to toughen up and develop a thicker skin. Meanwhile, others who expressed emotions were praised as "passionate" and "inspirational." We should celebrate 🎉emotional expression as a brave act of honesty, not punish it. 😡

Assertiveness means expressing thoughts and opinions clearly and respectfully. In my career, I've been criticized for being too direct or aggressive when assertive. 😠 Conversely, others are often praised for their self-assurance and confidence when they express themselves similarly. 😏 This inconsistency undermines fairness and breeds misunderstanding in the workplace.

Let's strive to recognize and appreciate emotional expression and assertiveness as valuable traits that contribute positively to workplace dynamics. By fostering an environment where all forms of communication are respected, we can empower individuals to express themselves authentically without fear of unjust criticism. 🧑🏼🤝🧑🏼

19/07/2024

"Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability." This quote deeply resonates with me as it encapsulates the essence of embracing relaxation and slowing down during the warmest months.

In my twenties, I juggled roles as a high school teacher and university instructor, rarely finding time to rest and recharge during summer breaks. 🤹 Eighteen years ago, I launched my own company alongside being a university professor, perpetually immersed in the hustle culture where summers offered little respite. 😞

This year, marked by emotional challenges and loss, 😥 has prompted me to shed another layer—the mental model of constant busyness. I'm prioritizing relaxation now.👌 Instead of filling my calendar with projects, I'm using summer to unwind, savor the weather🌞, appreciate the flowers 🌹(which always bring me joy 😁), and find inner peace ☮️.

Summer offers a precious opportunity for recharging, reflecting, and nurturing creativity. Let's cherish this season by honoring the value of rest and leisure in nurturing our well-being. 😎🌻

16/07/2024

So excited to have been asked to join Safety Debris with hosts Tanya Steele and Richard Dulong

We had an amazing chat about all things emotional intelligence—why so many of us have trouble managing our emotions❓, the impact EI has on our careers and lives, and tips to regulate our emotional reactions.❤️

Plus, I got to share a bit about the music 🎶 that keeps me grooving as I travel the globe and write my books. 🎧✨

Don't miss out on the insights, laughter, and fun.

Tune in to the episode! https://zurl.co/WnDo 🎉 Or watch us on YouTube: https://zurl.co/H4gn

12/07/2024

The first half of my year has been rough. I am committed to making the next part of the year better. Join me in a toast to new beginnings, renewed energy, and the determination to make the remaining months of 2024 the best they can be.

I am not going to let my fear 😱 and sadness 😥 keep me stuck. I want to bring hope ❤️ and joy 😀and have the courage to seize opportunities that come my way to turn this year around.

""In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety.” — Abraham Maslow

Cheers to a Better Half: Let's Turn 2024 Around! 🥂✨

Who's with me? 🙌💪

10/07/2024

I often get asked, "How do you lead a diverse team with varying skills, backgrounds, and personalities?" 🗣️ The answer is simple but not always easy. 🤔

🌟 Connect at an emotional level. Address the one thing most push under the rug: .

Many leaders fear 😨 addressing emotions at work. But no matter who you are or where you're from, we all have feelings because we are HUMAN first, before being employees or leaders.

Ignoring emotions—denying ⚠️ employees the right to be human at work—hurts us, our people, and our organizations. It holds us back from creating remarkable cultures and achieving incredible results.

Emotions unite us as humans. ❤️ If we weren't so scared of our feelings (or others'), emotions could be our universal language, connecting and bonding us together. 🌏

Check out this podcast where I got to talk with Municipal World after my keynote talk at GFOA Alberta. On the podcast, I spoke about how is the key to unlocking our leadership potential, benefiting any leader, those working in government or beyond.

https://zurl.co/9Cxd

05/07/2024

This past year has been incredibly tough, losing my mother, mentor, and best friend. At times, it felt like too much to bear.

But through it all, this Bob Marley quote provides me some solace and peace: 'You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.'

Here's to finding strength in the darkest times and continuing to move forward. 💔💪

30/06/2024

Never forget–We are all stronger than we think. We can handle more than we give ourselves credit for. 💪

Let's push our limits and realize our true potential!

24/06/2024

I am thrilled and deeply touched by the feedback I received from the leadership team for one of my public service clients following my keynote address on emotionally strong leadership. It warms my heart to see such a tangible and meaningful representation of the message resonating with you all.

Here’s the wonderful message I received:

"You had a ripple effect! Leadership team at my Abbotsford location so thought I would share 😊.

"We just had our first new Leadership meeting and we were all gifted these mugs, so thought I would forward you this too.

The saying is an inspiration from Carolyn Stern: 'You are responsible for the energy you bring to a situation.'”

Seeing you all with those mugs, reminding each other of the power of the energy we bring to our interactions, fills me with joy and pride.

Thank you, for embracing this message and making it a part of your leadership journey. Here’s to continuing to inspire and uplift each other with positive energy! ☕✨

22/06/2024

In today’s fast-paced world, the quest for simplicity is more vital than ever. Yet, like many, I struggle with letting go of papers, emails, and various accumulated items. Despite this challenge, I am committed to simplifying my life.

Here’s how I’m tackling the process of decluttering, cleaning up, and prioritizing.

🗂️ Decluttering: The First Step to Freedom

- Sorting through papers and digitizing important documents.
- Organizing my inbox and unsubscribing from unnecessary newsletters.
- Donating items I no longer use and organizing what remains.

🧽 Cleaning Up: A Fresh Start

- Setting clear, achievable goals.
- Prioritizing tasks to focus on what’s important.
- Allocating time for self-care to stay productive and positive.

Remember, simplifying life is an ongoing journey. By taking small, consistent steps, we can create a life that’s less cluttered and more meaningful. 🌟

The art of simplicity is a gentle reminder that less is often more, and in letting go, we gain so much more than we lose.

Let’s embrace the journey towards a simpler, more fulfilling life together! 🌿💛

20/06/2024

I've been focusing on living in the moment lately and trying to spark a little child-like fun. I have been saying to myself, "What the heck, let's do it!"

As we get older, it's easy to forget about being silly or goofy. We are adults after all, right? Well, yes, but that doesn't mean the fun is over! Whether it's dancing like nobody's watching or trying something totally out there, let's laugh a bit more because those are the moments that make life colorful!

So go ahead, embrace the excitement—just like I did after jumping in the pool with a dress on. 🤪

18/06/2024

Looking for ways to boost your child's Emotional Intelligence (EI)? 🧠
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A​s someone whose career revolves around Emotional Intelligence (EI), I understand the importance of teaching it from a young age. That is why this article put a smile on my face and I had to share!

In this article, Dr. Jenny Woo from Mind Brain Emotion shares three simple phrases that can help you boost your child's EI! Her insights as an EQ researcher and mom are making an impact in helping nurture emotional growth in kids and adults. ​
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​Read here! 👉 https://shorturl.at/pkxYf

15/06/2024

This week, amidst the whirlwind of tasks and projects, I realized that when consumed by the demands of daily life, it's easy to lose sight of the world around us. Caught in a frenzy of Spring cleaning, organizing my mom's belongings, tending to the garden, and juggling work commitments, I found myself confined within the walls of my home, disconnected from life outside. 🌳

That's why I decided to break free from the shackles of my to-do list and leave the house! Surrounded by the bustling energy of people, the simple pleasures of taking strolls, and some light shopping, I rediscovered the joy of human connection and being present in the moment.

In our relentless pursuit of productivity, we sometimes need to remember the importance of looking up from our tasks. And sometimes, it is in these moments of pause that we find solace, inspiration, and the true essence of life's beauty.

So, take this as your reminder to not lose sight of the bigger picture. 🖼 Press pause, take a deep breath, look out your window, and step outside to gain perspective!

11/06/2024

I am super happy to share that I am now an Approved TEC Canada Speaker!

This committee is full of inspiring speakers, industry experts, and thought leaders. Being welcomed into this tight community is both exciting and humbling.

I look forward to all that is to come and the chance to continue spreading EI awareness! 🎤

Photos from Carolyn Stern's post 08/06/2024

Had an unforgettable time at the GFOA Alberta 2024 Conference in Edmonton! 🌟

Grateful for the opportunity to kick off the event as the opening keynote speaker, sharing my personal journey and emphasizing the power of emotional strength in leadership. 💼💪

Luckily, I stayed for the entire event, allowing me to connect with many incredible attendees and dive deeper into the emotional challenges faced by government financial officers.

My message? Emotionally strong leadership is the key to overcoming issues like retention, absenteeism, and burnout. Huge thanks to Sheila Moore, Rick Wojtkiw and GFOA Alberta for choosing me and believing in my message.

Shoutout to Pauline Perreault for being an amazing emcee, and a special thank you to Kirin, Natalie, Pamela, and Merve for their invaluable support.

A big THANK YOU to Shawn Kanungo for recommending the amazing BAD Films—Moh Mahfouz and Maz Mahfouz—who brilliantly captured the entire behind-the-scenes magic!

To everyone who was there and cheered me on, your encouragement means the world.

Here's to embracing emotional intelligence and strength as we continue our leadership journey together! 🚀

Photos from Carolyn Stern's post 04/06/2024

Having an absolute blast at the GFOA Alberta 2024 Conference! 🎉

Thank you to all of you who took the time to come say hi after my keynote presentation. Knowing my message is resonating with so many of you warms my heart. 💖

I have been lucky to meet such bright individuals, network with inspiring minds, and of course, snap some pics along the way!

I can't wait to share all the highlights soon! Stay tuned for more updates.

02/06/2024

It's almost time Edmonton!

The GFOA Alberta 2024 Conference is tomorrow! I can't wait to connect with everyone.

Will you be attending? Stay tuned as I will be sharing all about my experience.

31/05/2024

As May comes to a close, so does Mental Health Awareness Month, which got me wondering how I could better support my mental health. And taking a moment to think about it made me realize how much pleasure I find in diving into a good book! This simple act replenishes my spirit and allows my brain to take a break and wonder off.

So, as a commitment to my mental health, I will be dedicating more time to reading!

What about you? What self-care rituals or activities do you prioritize for your mental well-being? Let's share our experiences and support one another on this journey of self-discovery and healing. 💚

29/05/2024

GFOA Alberta's Annual Conference is almost here and I couldn't be more excited!

Next week, Edmonton will be buzzing with energy as we gather for what promises to be an incredible event. And guess what? It's already sold out! That's how you know it's going to be one for the books. 🤩

Who else will be there? I can't wait to see you all!

Photos from Carolyn Stern's post 25/05/2024

Shining the spotlight on UKG—the incredible sponsor of my keynote at CPHR BC & Yukon's HR Conference & Expo 2024! Their commitment to people and human connection mirrors my own values.

Special thanks to Hasna Hima and Jennifer Zaleski for collaborating with me to gift the audience with pins, encouraging them to ! ❤️💪 Your support in spreading my message means the world.

Julie Develin, your warm introduction of me on stage set the stage for me to share my message that you can be in the driver's seat of your emotions, rather than your emotions driving you.

And to UKG, for generously purchasing copies of my book to give away to many of the attendees, igniting connections and inspiration throughout the event.

I'm looking forward to our continuing collaborations together! 🤝 Until we meet again.

Photos from Carolyn Stern's post 22/05/2024

Getting ready to step on stage as the opening keynote speaker can be a mix of excitement and nerves.

That's why having a great emcee is so important. A skilled emcee sets the tone, warms up the audience, and creates the perfect atmosphere for what's to come.

Meet Kevin Lim, the amazing emcee at The HR Conference & Expo 2024! 🎤 His contagious humor and energy truly lit up the event. It wouldn't have been the same without him. Kevin took the time to get to know me before the event, dedicated to setting me up for success. He’s by far one of the best emcees I’ve ever worked with.

Having the right person to introduce the opening speaker is also crucial. Julie Develin from UKG went the extra mile to understand what I’m all about. Our brands align perfectly—putting people first and focusing on their emotional well-being. Julie set the stage beautifully and made me feel so welcome.

Kevin and Julie's combined efforts made it easy for me to step up and deliver my best. Their energy and charisma calmed my pre-stage jitters and got the audience excited.

Here’s to all the fantastic emcees and introducers out there—your talent and presence make a world of difference. Thanks for making my presentations seamless and enjoyable!

So happy this conference brought us together, my friends. Can’t wait for more laughs and fun times at future events!

PS: Yes, that’s us having a little fun backstage! Lol. ✨

21/05/2024

Yesterday was International HR Day, and I want to take a moment to celebrate the incredible HR professionals I have the privilege of working with. I am constantly inspired by your dedication to our organization and your efforts in promoting training and leadership development. Your work does not go unnoticed.

As shown in the photo, I not only love HR, but I love HR professionals because you are the conduit for bringing EI training into the workplace. You are the heart of our workplace, bringing emotional intelligence and empathy to everything you do. Your role in shaping our company culture, supporting employee well-being, and driving our success is truly invaluable.

Thank you for all that you do, not just on International HR Day, but every day. I feel so fortunate to work alongside such amazing people. 🙌

18/05/2024

Last weekend was Mother's Day, and as you can expect, it was a very emotional day for me. I spent the day thinking about all the things that Mom used to worry about. And now that she is gone and I am left behind packing up her life, I think about all the time that she and I wasted worrying about the small stuff when, in the end, none of it mattered.

As you all may know, I struggle with worrying. I worry all the time, and I worry about everything—What if I get into an accident? What if people don't like me? What if I say the wrong thing? And the list goes on and on.

All day long, my mind is focused on the "what if". When instead, I should start focusing on the "what is".

Even after Mom is gone, she is still teaching me lessons. Thank you, Mom.💖

So today, I am going to try to focus on the here and now and not worry about the potential "what if".

What are some of the small things you worry about? And what do you, or should you do, to stop sweating the small stuff?

17/05/2024

On April 30th, all the hard work and preparation for CPHR BC & Yukon's HR Conference & Expo 2024 paid off. After 6 months in the making, my new keynote hit the stage, and I am happy to share that it was a success! It was so heartwarming to connect with all the people from the audience who wanted to share how my message resonated with them.

But let's not forget the hustle behind the scenes. There's so much more than meets the eye when creating a keynote. From countless brainstorming sessions, to relentless rehearsals, to working on the audiovisuals, to building useful resources for the audience to walk away with.

Here's an exclusive glimpse of what happened onstage and off! 🎤✨

Photos from Carolyn Stern's post 15/05/2024

Guess who finally made it back to Royal Roads University after over a decade? Yes, you guessed it—yours truly! ​✋🏻​ And what a full-circle moment it was.

I rediscovered emotional intelligence at RRU, when I got my Master of Arts in Leadership back in 2012. So, as you can imagine, this university and the Masters program means a lot to me because it changed the trajectory of my career. Yet, after graduating, I never went back—not until recently, at least.

A surprising fact about me is that despite earning five degrees from three different institutions, this was the very first alumni event I attended! And if I'm being honest, I probably wouldn't have attended an alumni event if I wasn't asked to speak at it. But what an honour it was to be chosen by RRU as a speaker on changemaking.

The RRU Alumni Event was themed around changemaking—something that Royal Roads prides itself on being, Canada's university for changemakers. And RRU, being the classy and extraordinary institution it is, rolled out the red carpet for all of us speakers. To kickstart the event, we had the inspiring Canadian author John Vaillant. Later, I shared the stage with Julie Nolin and Linda Biggs, which was an absolute honour. Following our changemaking presentations we had a very thought-provoking Q&A session, moderated by Robert Mittelman, Dean of Faculty & Management.

Fun fact: before hitting the spotlight, all of us ladies got three days of top-notch mentoring from Peter Scott, a spectacular TEDx coach.

And after our stint on stage, it was all about celebrating and networking while enjoying yummy cocktails & snacks! Because, hey, alumni events are as much about reconnecting as they are about having a good time, right? However, having said that, seeing all those young professionals buzzing around was both inspiring and a tad humbling... I mean, when did I get so old? ​😂​ LOL.

But most of all, I'm just happy I went back to give back. RRU shaped not just my career but me as a person, and being able to pay it forward in some small way felt terrific.​

Thank you, Royal Roads, for having me! And who knew, I now look forward to future alumni events! I didn't realize what I had been missing all of these years.

Photos from Carolyn Stern's post 12/05/2024

Today is Mother’s Day and my heart feels heavy with the absence of the woman who shaped me into who I am today - my dear mom. 💔

Back in 2019, after my dad passed away, we decided Mom would move in with me temporarily. I hoped to provide her with some comfort during such a tough time. When COVID-19 swept through the world, and I witnessed her health declining too, I begged her to move in with me permanently. Gratefully, she agreed. Little did we know, our temporary arrangement would become permanent.

And then came New Year's Eve - a night that will forever be etched in my memory. Mom took a fall and injured her foot badly. On January 19th, we got an appointment with her doctor who recommended we go to Emergency. Once we admitted her, we learned that Mom indeed had a fractured foot, but what we heard next still feels like a nightmare.

The tests revealed the unimaginable - we found out Mom had cancer in multiple organs - her chest, liver, pancreas, stomach, and in her blood. 13 days later she passed away. It felt like the ground was ripped from beneath my feet, leaving me lost in a sea of grief.

Now, as I prepare to take a step into a new chapter of my life, getting married without her by my side, the ache in my heart grows. There are moments when I forget she's no longer here, reaching for the phone to share a laugh or a story, only to be met with silence.

Hearing her voice, giving her a hug, and gossiping like we used to, are all the simple things that I would do anything to experience again.

Just a week ago, I had the honour of speaking about her in a keynote presentation, sharing her wisdom and warmth with the world. It was a bittersweet moment, celebrating her life while feeling the weight of her absence.

To those fortunate enough to still have their mothers cherish every moment, for you never know when life will change in an instant.

And to those, like me, who are missing their moms, know that you are not alone. Today, and every day, I hold onto the memories of Mom, finding solace in the love we shared.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I love you up to the sky and the sky never ends.

Your spirit lives on in me, and I will continue to look to you and your life lessons to guide me through life's challenges with the same grace and strength you always showed. 💗

Embracing Every Version: A Journey Through the Ages 09/05/2024

Dive into the adventure of self-discovery with my latest blog post, "Embracing Every Version: A Journey Through the Ages"! 🚀✨

Explore how each version of ourselves, from awkward teen to seasoned adult, shapes who we are today. Let's celebrate the quirks, the lessons, and the growth that make us uniquely us. 💖 Join me on this roller coaster ride called life—read the blog now and embrace every version of YOU!

Read here 👉 https://carolynstern.com/blog/embracing-every-version-a-journey-through-the-ages/

Embracing Every Version: A Journey Through the Ages Each birthday celebration is a reminder of all of our past versions! Are you self-aware of the life lessons you have collected so far?

Photos from Carolyn Stern's post 07/05/2024

🎉 Reflecting on an incredible experience at the HR & Expo Conference 2024! 🌟 Last week's event was truly special, especially with the debut of my new and improved keynote, "The Emotionally Strong Leader."

I poured my heart and soul into crafting this keynote over the past few months, and it wouldn't have been possible without the support of an amazing team. Huge shoutout to Michael Kerr, Mike Ganino, Kirin Dubois, and Matthew Nosworthy for their invaluable contributions to the creative direction, visuals, and practice sessions. Your expertise truly elevated the presentation!

A heartfelt thank you to UKG for sponsoring the keynote, specifically Hasnaa and Jenny for collaborating on the special giveaway—our BE EMOTIONALLY STRONG PIN. Your support in spreading my message means the world to me. A big THANKS to Julie Develin for introducing me to the stage and supporting me throughout the planning of this mammoth event.

Gratitude also goes out to CPHR BC & Yukon and Jessica Ng for the incredible opportunity to be the opening keynote at this year's conference. Your belief in my advocacy is deeply appreciated.

Thanks to Kevin Lim for being such an amazing emcee. Your humour and energy are contagious. I also loved sharing the stage with Kevin Rempel, who closed the conference with his incredible message of The Hero Mindset.

Special shout-outs to Mia Jagpal for capturing the essence of my presentation through video and photos. Your talent brought the message to life and will help it resonate long after the event.

And a big THANK YOU to Natalie Leclerc, Pamela Smith, and Merve Bilisik who played an instrumental role in preparing all the materials for the conference.

To everyone who attended and supported me along the way, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Here's to continuing the journey of leadership and emotional strength together! 💪

05/05/2024

Hands up if you've ever stressed over choosing the right career path! 🙋

I recently took a trip down memory lane, reflecting on my professional journey, and realized how universal the worry about finding the right career truly is. Whether fresh out of school or decades into the workforce, the fear of feeling stuck in the wrong job is a common thread we all share.

Since I work closely with young adults, I witness firsthand the weight of this decision looming over them. The pressure to make the "perfect" choice can be paralyzing, leading to endless doubts and what-ifs.

For me personally, I've had my fair share of career changes. From Sales & Marketing to Advertising, from Account Management to a High School teacher—my resume reads like a novel with unexpected plot twists at every turn!

Yet, amidst the chaos of change, I found my way. Each role, each pivot, brought me closer to where I am today. Looking back, I realize that the clarity I have now wasn't attainable back when I tossed my graduation cap in the air. It took years of growth, exploration, and a few wrong turns to uncover my true passion.

So if you can take anything from me today, let it be this: embrace life's uncertainty, enjoy the detours, and trust the process!

02/05/2024

Isn't it ironic that I have been so busy with work lately that I actually missed International Dance Day earlier this week? And now I find myself thinking about the joy and passion that dancing has brought into my life over the years. ​💃​
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While my busy schedule has kept me away from the dance floor these past few months, this recent celebration is reminding and motivating me to change that! And what better way to do it than with my amazing fiancé by my side? 💑

Ian Cameron — nudge, nudge — this is your gentle reminder to take me dancing. We need to get our groove on!

Salsa dancing and country two-step dancing are some of the activities Ian and I love doing together.

Fun fact: Dancing with your partner allows you to communicate effectively without words. By learning to anticipate each other's movements and respond accordingly, you develop better communication skills both on and off the dance floor.

It's been a while since I've put my dancing shoes on, so here's a throwback picture from my trip to Dallas last year. That was the last time I shook my tailfeather (with some line dancing 🤠).
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​I'm curious, what's your favourite type of dance? And how do your dancing skills transfer into your life skills? Let me know in the comments!

Thank you, International Dance Day, for reminding me I need to incorporate dance into my life again!🕺

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