Substance Abuse

Understanding A M**h Addict
By Dixina Bhoola

When someone's high on m**h, physical an physiological changes occur. Many of the changes that happen are due to the way the drug impacts the brain an the nervous system.The physiological effects of m**h is an important issue of dealing with.Once someone takes m**h their brain becomes rewired in many ways, and that’s what leads them to continue seeking it out, and their addiction quickly gets out of control.People on m**h dont experience feelings as they would normally, so the person may actually like this feeling because it can help them escape from bad memories or emotional pain they experience when they’re sober. M**h can become not just a way to get high, but a way to escape from worry, stress and negative feelings.When someone is on m**h, they may start to feel like they’re powerful or capable of more than they really are.Key to understanding how a m**h addict thinks an feels is the fact that when you are on m**h you often lack any sense of self-awareness, and it’s not usually until an addict is in the recovery phase of their addiction that they’re even able to recognize their behaviors and the effects they had on the people around them.

Often women are drawn to m**h because it suppresses their appetite and ultimately helps them lose weight, and over time a person’s physical appearance can significantly deteriorate because of m**h.There are specific signs of how a m**h addict thinks an feels, some of their thoughts an feelings are similar to drug addicts in general. For example, drug addicts often think only about their next fix of the drug. They have tunnel vision because of how their brain reacts the drug, and they crave it. Their thoughts an actions are only dedicated to getting more of the drug, an they will do anything necessary.

That’s why drug addicts often lie, cheat and steal. They may engage in illegal behaviors they use any means to get more, and they’re not able to recognize the pain an harm they’re causing themselves an the people around them because of their addiction.Someone who is addicted to m**h or other drugs not only lie and mislead people, but they manipulate them.Someone who was once loving an caring may start to manipulate the people closest to them in order to facilitate their continued drug use. They feed on the concern an love of their family members.Someone who’s addicted to m**h may even beg an try to plead with loved ones an make promises they have no intention of keeping, an it can take a long time before their loved ones accept that this is in fact manipulation.It’s nearly impossible for an addict to think outside of the drug an their addiction until they receive help an are in treatment or recovery.

Instead of judging addicts why not start praying 4them & start understanding the disease of addiction that has no cure & is a life long disease....

If u’ve never struggled wit addiction, u’re lucky.u will never know the horror of being addicted, or of wanting 2stop & not being able 2. Imagine som**hing so powerful that it uses u. It controls u. u will steal kill lie manipulate an destroy 4it. Becoming addicted is easy because no 1 knows that’s wat they’re doing. We tell ourselves we’re having fun. We need it 2relax. We minimize the severity of our addiction by focusing on what we still have, not on what we have lost. 4 example, I have a roof over my head. I still have a job. The alcoholic says I only drink beer. The co***ne abuser says I don’t use m**h. The m**h addict says I only smoke drugs, I don’t inject them. The pill-popper says at least I don’t use he**in. Addiction denies itself in the scariest voice of all – ur own.An addicted persons experience high levels of shame. They are not comfortable in their bodies. They may mask this with sarcasm or jokes. They have a love-hate relationship wit themselves & their drug of choice. They love the way they feel wen high but hate the things they do 2achieve this feelin.They judge themselves harshly, calling themselves a loser, ju**ie or a waste of space.They may believe they’re 2weak 2quit using & their family wud b better off without them.Addiction is a family illness: When 1family member struggles with addiction, it affects the whole family. Trust is broken, hurt accumulates and builds, exploding in an eruption of emotions and regrets. u may find urself protecting the addicted person, or blaming them 4ur own unhealthy behavior. Parents may turn on 1another in their frustration. The family walks on egg-shells around the substance abuser, fearing they may upset them. In healthy families, every1 can get their needs met. In addicted families, the only 1getting their needs met is the substance abuser.

AS PROMISED...
Written By Dixina Bhoola 07/06/2020
PART 2
Drug Addict Letter To Parents

Dear Dad & Mum

I wake up everyday & the 1st thing on my mind is getting my next fix. the only thing ive become an expert in is lying, stealing, cheating, manipulating & drugging. i know ive disappointed u on numerous times. i know u had big plans 4my life. ive put myself & u2 in such traumatic situations that i do not even want 2think about. People look @ me like im a ju**ie, a druggie, a tik kop its hurts cause i myself cant help myself i myself dnt recognize myself in the mirror. i show a happy face but day by day i am dying. i see ur miss calls but im either 2busy getting high or am busy with robbing some1 or i just dont want 2hear u nagging when all u want is ur child back. though after a hour i do long 2hear ur voice but realise u will hear my pain. The drugs now control me everything i do revolves around drugs this is now the only life i know. knowing im hurting u2 so much an cant help it many times su***de seems 2b the only way out i dont want this life anymore. i know its hard 2love me after all i stole, tears shedded & lies. But Dad & Mum please i beg dont give up on me even though ive given up on myself. daily i promise myself & u i can quit on my own but i cant & i am exhausted of this life im tired of stealing im tired of police cells im tired of walking day & night. Y cant i b the child im suppose 2b helping u2 instead of making u both slog away breaking ur backs & not realizing u getting old an need me mow more than ever. i know u on that stage of just waiting 4the call 2say please come fetch ur childs dead body. BUT believe me when i say this disease of addiction i cannot control myself anymore.... i love u both an ask ur forgiveness. u r not 2blame 4my addiction even though ive blamed u...

Written By Dixina Bhoola 06/06/2020
PART 1
Dedicated 2all parents suffering with a drug addiction child i feel 4u....

I know u’re tired. There are no words 4 the pain u feel, only tears. ur child’s addiction is destroying u. u avoid people who ask too many questions because honestly, u don’t have any answers.How does 1explain what it’s like 2watch their precious child struggle with addiction?u’ve kissed their face a thousand times.u’ve watched them as they slept an held their hand when they were learning 2walk. u taught them 2 look both ways before crossing the street.Once upon a time, u could fix it all, but now, u can’t.u feel lonely an disconnected from every1 an u are so, so sad. Only u don’t tell people this.u don’t want ur friends feelin sorry 4u or judging ur child. Instead, u suck it up, put on your brave face an carry on.
Havin an addicted adult child is hard every day, but on Mother’s Day or Fathers Day it can be excruciating.While other parents are gettin gifts an going out for lunch, u’re waiting beside ur phone praying it will ring. All u want this day is 2 hear ur child’s voice.u’ve tried so hard 2do everything right.u wonder where u went wrong.u search ur mind for any tell-tale signs that u missed. Lookin back, u try an make sense of how u got here.u did ur best 2protect ur child.u kept them safe.u clothed an fed them.u kissed their scraped knee an read them bed time stories. u drove them to school everyday. u sacrificed ur own pleasures an desires 4ur child, but u never dreamed the scariest monster of all lived inside ur child.This monster lies in ur child’s voice, moves ur child’s body an has taken over ur child’s mind. u call this monster, addiction. Now u fear the monster will kill ur child.u wonder: how does 1 go about slaying a monster that dwells inside their precious child? u’ve tried everything in ur power to help them. u’ve lied 4 them an given them money 2cover their debts.u’ve been their personal ATM machine, house-keeper, counselor, police officer an undercover police.But nothing u do works an worse still, ur child doesn’t appreciate ur efforts. ur child isn’t the only 1 with a monster. u’ve 1changed 2. u’re drained an empty. u drag urself through the days, longing 4 bedtime when u can finally seek release through sleep. ur mask is starting 2 slip. u’re mad at everyone. While friends an family move on with their life, u fester. The anger that covers ur pain is suffocating all that is good in ur life.

PART 2 continues tomorrow with the drug addiction child's life.....

Gooodd Morning... My Weekend Advice 2u is...The past cannot b changed, opinions dnt define ur reality, every1's journey is different, its ok 2let go & move on, things always get better with time, kindness is free, happiness is found within, ur thoughts affect ur mood... god bless

STOP & TAKE A MOMENT TO THANK THE LORD FOR HOW BLESSED U R!! NO MATTER HOW BAD LIFE SEEMS THERE IS ALWAYS SO MUCH MORE POSITIVE THAN NEGATIVE. THANK U LORD THAT I STILL HAVE BOTH MY PARENTS, MY SISTER, MY NIECES, A ROPF OVER MY HEAD, WARM MEALS DAILY, 10 TOES & 10 FINGERS, EYE SITE AN MY LIFE...

I know u feel like giving up, but u not going 2! u know y? cause u r strong an wen u survived through all the s**t ur addiction has put u through u can & will survive recovery. pray & repentance & God will do 4u that u thought was impossible. u worth so much more than u think. never give up 2the devil.

"It won’t be like this forever.”Addiction makes a person feel hopeless an trapped. It controls us an makes us forget who we used 2be but the path of recovery is a step towards gaining control of ur life once again u no longer have 2be a slave to the disease. With sobriety, it is possible 2gain back that sense of freedom u felt u lost so long ago.

“You are stronger than you think.”A lot of us think there’s no way we’ll ever be able to give up drugs or alcohol, but we underestimate the strength within ourselves. Sure, the easier route may be to give up and go back to our old ways, but we are fully capable of beating this disease once and for all. All it takes is focus, determination, and hard work

Sometimes u just have 2 turn the page 2realize there's more 2ur book of life than the page u stuck on.stop being afraid 2move on. Close this chapter of hurt & never re-read it.its time 2get what ur life deserves & move on from the things that u dont deserve. Dont try & fix what's been broken in ur past, let ur future create som**hing better. God bless...

May 30
Loneliness vs. being alone
Sharing with others keeps us from feeling isolated and alone.
Basic Text, p. 85
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There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Being lonely is a state of the heart, an emptiness that makes us feel sad and sometimes hopeless. Loneliness is not always alleviated when we enter into relationships or surround ourselves with others. Some of us are lonely even in a room full of people.
Many of us came to Narcotics Anonymous out of the desperate loneliness of our addiction. After coming to meetings, we begin to make new friends, and often our feelings of loneliness ease. But many of us must contend with loneliness throughout our recovery.
What is the cure for loneliness? The best cure is to begin a relationship with a Higher Power that can help fill the emptiness of our heart. We find that when we have a belief in a Higher Power, we never have to feel lonely. We can be alone more comfortably when we have a conscious contact with a God of our understanding.
We often find deep fulfillment in our interactions with others as we progress in our recovery. Yet we also find that, the closer we draw to our Higher Power, the less we need to surround ourselves with others. We begin to find a spirit within us that is our constant companion as we continue to explore and deepen our connection with a Power greater than ourselves. We realize we are spiritually connected with som**hing bigger than we are.
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Just for today: I will take comfort in my conscious contact with a Higher Power. I am never alone.

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new...

We offer in an out patient programmes, family support groups, famiĺy information sessions, aftercare & reintegration.

Morning All - Addiction is a monster its lives inside,feeds off u, controls u & destroys u.it is a devil that tears u apart, rips out ur soul & laughs at ur weakness. It is like a stone wall that keeps u only in an the rest out. Its like a shadow creeping behind u jus waiting 2strike. Addiction lives in every1's mind let be p**n, s*x, gambling, food, drugs, shopping etc All different addicts are out there that need help not 2b looked down on.

May 29-Carry me

We believe that our Higher Power will take care of us.

Basic Text, p. 58
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We all have times when it seems as though our lives are falling apart. There are days, or even weeks, when it seems that everything that can go wrong is going wrong. Whether its the loss of a job, the death of a loved one, or the end of a relationship, we doubt that well survive the changes taking place in our lives.

Its during the times when the world is crashing down around our ears that we find our greatest faith in a loving Higher Power. No human being could relieve our suffering; we know that only Gods care can provide the comfort we seek. We feel broken but we go on, knowing that our lives will be repaired.

As we progress in our recovery and our faith in our Higher Power grows, we are sure to greet the difficult times with a sense of hope, despite the pain we may be in. We need not despair, for we know that our Higher Powers care will carry us through when we cant walk on our own.
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Just for today: I will rely on Gods care through the painful times, knowing that my Higher Power will always be there.

Copyright 1991-2016 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Recovery from addiction requires hard work, a proper attitude & learning skills to stay sober, not drinking alcohol or using other drugs. Successful drug recovery or alcohol recovery involves changing attitudes, acquiring knowledge and developing skills to meet the many challenges of sobriety....

May 28 - AS WE UNDERSTAND

We examined our lives and discovered who we really are. To be truly humble is to accept and honestly try to be ourselves.

Basic Text, p. 36
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As using addicts, the demands of our disease determined our personality. We could be whoever or whatever we needed to be in order to get our fix. We were survival machines, adapting easily to every circumstance of the using life.

Once we began our recovery, we entered a new and different life. Many of us had no idea what behavior was appropriate for us in any given situation. Some of us didnt know how to talk to people, how to dress, or how to behave in public. We couldnt be ourselves because we didnt know who we were anymore.

The Twelve Steps give us a simple m**hod for finding out who we really are. We uncover our assets and our defects, the things we like about ourselves and the things were not so thrilled about. Through the healing power of the Twelve Steps, we begin to understand that we are individuals, created to be who we are by the Higher Power of our understanding. The real healing begins when we understand that if our Higher Power created us this way, it must be okay to be who we really are.
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Just for today: By working the steps I can experience the freedom to be myself, the person my Higher Power intended me to be.

What is drug addiction?
Addiction is defined as a chronic, relapsing brain disease that is characterized by compulsive drug seeking and use, despite harmful consequences. It is considered a brain disease because drugs change the brain; they change its structure and how it works. These brain changes can be long lasting and can lead to many harmful, often self-destructive, behaviors....

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

I know how hard it is to over come drug addiction.... when you believe there is no way out trust me there is a way out....