Aurelia Psychology

There is still time to register for this vision board workshop led by two clinical psychologists at Mapletree Psychotherapy Center, Dubai. Make the most of this fresh new year by clarifying to goals and purpose.

For more information go to https://tmtcdubai.com/services/workshops/envision-workshop/

Do you find yourself spending more and more time glued to your phone? Do you ever wonder why you could be doing this?📱

Sometimes we just need a break. Our phones are usually without exception right next to us. It’s easy and convenient to turn to our phones to create a mini-break from everything.

However, when mini-breaks turn into midi and maxi breaks they may not be helpful breaks anymore. If you notice that you are spending an increasing amount of time on your phone, disconnecting and numbing yourself, it’s a good idea to reflect on what is actually happening. What are you using the phone for?

We look in-depth as to what could be causing you to want to spend your time on your phone, link to post is on Linktree.

In most societies, women are predominantly seen as nurturers. It is implicitly expected that women will care for the young, the sick and the elderly. Women help others grow, they bring them back to health, respond to their needs and offer support. A woman is expected to be nurturing.

But what impact does this expectation have on women as a whole? In today's blog post we look in-depth at the roles women have to take on, link is on Linktree.

'If your child has complex medical needs not only do you experience heightened stress but so does your partner. Hence, there is a danger that the two of you will both start taking out your stress on each other. You may find yourself bickering and fighting over little and big things.

When you are looking after a child who needs extra attention and whose health problems make your heart ache, it is vital that you and your partner work as a team. You can acknowledge that there is a considerable amount of stress in your lives but this stress doesn’t have to enter your relationship.

It’s very easy for external stress to become relationship stress. This can happen even if the source of stress is joyful, such as planning a wedding. When the source of stress is your worst nightmare come true, it’s more than likely that it will impact your relationship.'

Read more about protecting your relationship when your child is sick or has the complex medical needs. Link to our blog is on Linktree.

Being a parent to a child who has has medical needs is a long journey that can push us to the edge of coping.

'When you are a parent of a child with special medical needs means that there is lots to think about and lots to navigate. You’ll be finding the best specialists, waiting for test results, waiting in hospital rooms, and waiting for answers. You’ll also be researching and becoming an expert on constipation and allergies, communicating the child’s needs to school and caretakers and many more.' 

Read more about how you can look after yourself, grow as a full human being and even find joy on our blog. Link is in bio.

How can mothers deal with the inevitable mom-guilt?

'Self-compassion is the answer to move unhealthy guilt into healthy actions.

Please remember, you and most mothers are doing the best you and they can. You don’t have to be perfect! It’s ok to make mistakes. You are human.

When you talk to yourself through self-compassion, you can help yourself move through the feelings and act in a more positive and healthy way toward yourself and your children.'

Read more about mom-guilt on our blog. The link to our post is on Linktree.

'Guilt as a whole is actually a very good emotion. Without it the world may not have enough conscience and care and humanity would be in trouble. If you feel guilty about taking something that isn’t yours then you are less likely to do it. Good!

Unhealthy guilt is when the guilt is pushing you to the edge of shame. Let’s say you feel guilty about missing school assembly and your child not seeing you in the crowd. And you might wish that you had been there which makes both you and your child feel sad. The emotion here is an opportunity to let your child know how sorry you are for missing it and explain why you missed it. This can let your child know that you care about them and that you didn’t want to miss the assembly.'

Read our post about mom-guilt on our blog: https://aureliapsychology.com/what-is-mom-guilt-and-how-to-deal-with-it/

The hormonal shifts in a woman’s body throughout the menstrual cycle brings about physical changes. It also brings shifts in our energy level, and mood changes. For many of us, the week or two before our menstruation can cause a significant drop in mood, increased irritability, low energy, aches, pains, constipation and bloating. 

In addition to all the physiological ebb and flows of the cycle, women especially in the Middle East, are meant to keep their periods to themselves. They are expected to push through and get on. They are not only not moan about feeling poorly but also be at their best so as to disguise their experiences. In other words, the experience of getting her period gets denied or dismissed at best. 

As women we are socialized to believe that this ebb and flow is bad, disruptive, and annoying. We begin not to honor our own experience through it. We feel guilty and embarrassed for feeling how we feel. The topic of menstruation being taboo is well known in many cultures. 

Women have gone as far as medicating themselves with birth control and antidepressants to manage the experiences and “symptoms” they have prior to their periods. In fact, there is a diagnosis of premenstrual dysmorphic disorder. It applies to about 5% of menstruating women, who experience significant challenges in their mental health, a week or two prior to their period. I don’t support pathologizing human beings. However, I have firsthand experience of the benefits of just naming for many female clients, that their feelings are real and not imagined. 

Read more about why women should honor their cycle and support each other on our blog. Link is in the bio.

We believe it is important to talk to your daughter about s*xual health and contraception even if you believe that s*x belongs only in marriage. Your daughter might make different decisions regarding her s*xual experiences. By the time she gets married, she may have already made decisions about contraception. She may or may not know how to look after her s*xual health. So it is in her interest that you make the information available to her.

You want to make sure your daughter knows that she can talk to you about her s*xuality, health and contraception. She needs to know that you are there for her. You want her to come to you, rather than a friend who may have dubious advice. Even worse, you don’t want to leave your child to figure these things out alone or by trial and error.

Read more about why we should care about periods and talk about them to our physicians and our daughters. Link to our post is on Linktree.


*xualhealth

Be bold in your ambitions for your children, studying and achievement are good, but a lack of sleep, fear of disappointing one’s parents, and teeth grinding are not. Structure your kids time so they have recreational pursuits in which to learn life skills (like losing, really: it’s a skill), as well as downtime in which they lounge around, unplug the wifi for one hour a day and read a book. Let them hang with friends, just like you do, and enforce bedtime hours (for you too) even in the teenage years. Finally, tell your kids, even the 17-year-old ones, that you love them as well as like them and that a random B or C grade is not the end of the world. Moms. You know what to do…. your kids will be fine.

Read more from Dr. Louise Lambert on our blog: https://aureliapsychology.com/relax-your-kids-are-going-to-be-fine/

For all of the mental health awareness-raising and well-being blah-blah, we haven’t done much as a society to take actions towards it. And here is why: we all secretly believe that if we were to take well-being seriously and others didn’t, we would fall behind. We worry that if we take breaks and holidays, but our colleagues and peers don’t, our status will fall. Our own anxiety is fueling our anxiety. We know it’s absurd but can’t quite seem to do otherwise.

Dr Louise Lambert, Director of Happiness and Wellbeing Programs writes about student well-being and school performance.

Read more on the blog: https://aureliapsychology.com/relax-your-kids-are-going-to-be-fine/

Take a morning moment for yourself. Grab a cup of coffee, and your journal and find a quiet place. Think to yourself, what quality activities could I be doing with my family to make the time we spend together more meaningful? A reminder that it's also not always just down to what you do, but how you participate. Are you giving all of your attention at that moment to your loved ones? After all, it's you who they are wanting to spend time with.

Working towards achieving a balance between the often competing roles women have, would help to create a more content and happier state of mind. As a consequence, the time you do spend with your loved ones would be more genuine and more enriching for all involved. Being a happy mother and wife is therefore far more conducive to constructing healthy family relationships.

Read more from Jennifer in our most recent post: https://aureliapsychology.com/quality-over-quantity-introducing-more-harmony-into-life/

Many women today are expected to have many roles–perhaps that of a good friend, a wonderful wife, a caring mother, a productive colleague, a high-powered senior executive or that of a successful entrepreneur. Societal pressures and expectations of our modern world lead us to believe that we need to be a ‘super woman’. In trying to achieve perfection, women lose harmony from their lives.

Our most recent blog post is by psychodynamic psychotherapist Jennifer von Baudissin. Jennifer is also the Clinical Director at The Psychiatry and Therapy Centre in Dubai. She is a member of the UK Council for Psychotherapy. In her post Jennifer discusses the pressure women feel to be everything for everyone. She suggests we can approach life differently with a quality over quantity approach.

https://aureliapsychology.com/quality-over-quantity-introducing-more-harmony-into-life/

To you and your family, Eid Mubarak!

If you want your children to flourish and grow, you need to treat them in the same way you treat the adults in your life who see you at your best. After all, I believe that choosing kindness, understanding and acceptance not only applies to our children but to all the people in our lives.

We often forget how hurt we were when our parents criticized us. We speak to our children in a similar way and think that that is acceptable or normal. Sometimes we even think our children deserve it. We may even fear that if we are not tough on our children, they will end up in trouble later on.

If you do not know what to do in a difficult situation, ask yourself:

-Am I being kind right now?
-What am I doing that increases my understanding of my child?
-Am I accepting my child as they are?

Read more in our blog post "How to parent with kindness", https://aureliapsychology.com/parent-with-kindness/

Reflecting on this past month of Ramadan celebrations and creation of new traditions, have you thought about what you would like your children to take away from their Ramadan? Is it a positive and happy time for them, or are parts that you can work on to improve their experience?

Getting our children involved in holidays and events is a great way for you to connect as a family. When chatting with Erica recently, we asked her how she involved her children in Ramadan celebrations from an early age.

How do you like to involve your little ones in Ramadan?

You can read Erica's full interview in our most recent blogpost: https://aureliapsychology.com/do-not-push-yourself/

Motherhood and guilt go hand in hand. Many women feel that as mothers they are never enough. They notice all the myriad of ways in which they fail their children while not giving enough credit to everything that they do well. Many woman feel the pressure to be and do everything not only for their children but at work and in the home. They push themselves to a breaking point. And when they inevitably fall, they are riddled with more guilt!

In our last Ramadan interview series, Erica talks about the importance of looking after yourself and being gentle with yourself. Mothers don’t have to be and shouldn't have to try to be superwomen. Erica is a Muslim convert from America, married to a Pakistani. She lives in the UAE and works in communications.

You can read more in her guest post on the blog: https://aureliapsychology.com/do-not-push-yourself/

Happy Easter!

To all those who are celebrating Easter and all the families who enjoy a fun Easter Egg Hunt ❤️

When I moved to the Middle East I was delighted to see how family-centered life was. I loved watching large extended families spending afternoons and evenings in the park. The children would run around and play and the adults relaxed and chatted. The sense of family and community was strong.

For our Ramadan series I interviewed Shireen about her memories of Ramadan. Shireen is a full-time working mother with one adult child finishing university and one child finishing high school. When I spoke to Shireen, it was clear that connection with family, friends and the wider community is at the center of Ramadan.

I loved Shireen's story about going to the mosque with her children and them running around while the mothers prayed. Adults did not complain about the sounds of laughter and joy. Shireen also stressed that Ramadan is not about creating something big and flashy. At the heart of the celebration is building strong values and the loving connection between family members.

One of the questions I asked her was what advice would she give to her younger self or a young mother today about celebrating Ramadan with young children?

You can read more in our most recent blogpost, link is in our bio!

We are two psychologists in Dubai with a vision to offer information about emotional health for you! Yes you, living in the UAE, or elsewhere in the Middle East.

Aurelia Psychology was born from our collaboration in 2020. Our blog is the number one exclusive mental health blog and content provider in the UAE.

Our mission is to help you connect with yourself, your life, and your community more consciously and to guide you towards an emotionally healthy and fulfilling life.

We are working mothers living a life not that different from yours. We draw from our collective knowledge and experience of all the years of studies and work with clients.

On Aurelia Psychology you will find content such as readings, exercises, workbooks, videos and more to guide you in the areas of your life that need your attention. Whether you want to improve in self-care, parenting, relationships, or work, there will be something worthwhile for you here.

Please, be in touch with us to tell us what you find useful, interesting or touching. Also, don’t hesitate to get in touch with questions. We would love to hear from you!

We asked Huda what her best memories of her children were during Ramadan!

We'd love to hear your Ramadan memories in the comments!

Mothers are at the center of many traditions and celebrations in life. Moms plan, organize and execute birthday parties, school events and Eid gatherings. Mothers also pass on family traditions to their children. We spoke to three mothers of older children who generously shared their experience of introducing and including their children in Ramadan preparations and celebrations.

In this today's blog post, Huda talks about how she wants to teach her children about the true meaning of Ramadan. Huda is a homeschooling mother of two preteens.

https://aureliapsychology.com/moms-ramadan/

I had such a great time with the Kcal team in our first Instagram live. We had an insightful discussion about self-care during pregnancy and motherhood. Thank you to the Kcal team for having me. If you missed the live, you can watch it on our Youtube Channel: https://youtu.be/2Hr-csZGcQw

KCal Instagram Live: Self-care during pregnancy and motherhood I had such a great time with the Kcal team in our first Instagram live. We had an insightful discussion about self-care during pregnancy and motherhood. Than...

Wishing you a peaceful Ramadan. May it bring you prosperity and joy.

Just a friendly reminder, we know how busy you are, don't forget to schedule your mindfulness moment for the day 💚.

Wishing all of the beautiful, strong, nurturing, loving, caring mothers a very Happy Mother's Day!

Join me today on Instagram Live at 11am as I go live with their team to answer all of your questions about parenthood 😊

I had so much fun discussing all things parenting around the screen with Dr. Meghan Owenz. Learned so much about helping my own children in empowering and developmentally appropriate ways. I soaked in all her knowledge and wisdom and I have no doubt you will too! Enjoy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7U2Aumlp6k

"I Want My Children To Know They Can Handle It" "I Want My Children To Know They Can Handle It" : A Positive Approach to Reducing Screen Time, Emotion Regulation, Nannies in Dubai, And How to Manage Brunch...

Bringing mindfulness into your daily life doesn’t have to be complicated or time-consuming. You are being mindful when you pay more attention to what you see, smell, and hear when you are doing a mundane activity. For example, let’s say you’re walking to you car after dropping off the children at school. Notice your surroundings, the people, the trees, the birds, the sky, the ground. Notice the smell of the air, notice the sounds of the cards, the people, and anything else you can hear.

Happy International Women‘s day! 💖💖💖💖💖 We see it as our moral responsibility to stand by women. As mothers of girls, psychologists, entrepreneurs and writers we know we are incredibly privileged and we wish the same for every girl in our world. We know we couldn’t do what we do without inspiring women in our lives!

In our most recent blog post we take a look at how you can bring moments of mindfulness into our busy mom days.

Whenever your mind wanders off or you get distracted, bring yourself back to the present moment. You will do this over and over again. It’s the nature of our mind to wander off. It’s ok to redirect yourself a million times. That’s perfectly normal. You’re not failing at mindfulness.

This way living daily needs to and can be practiced. Pick one activity that you can do more mindfully every day. It can be cooking, being with your family, driving home, brushing your teeth. Mindfulness is a welcomed break in your busy life! If you forget, set yourself a reminder. Schedule yourself a daily “mindful lunch” or “mindful school pick up”.

https://aureliapsychology.com/how-to-bring-mindfulness-into-motherhood/

This past week has been heartbreaking and hard. I have watched in disbelief and shock how Russia attacked Ukraine. I have been humbled by the courage and strength of Ukrainians. My heart has been filled with joy for the brave Russians who have dared to oppose Putin. I have felt scared for the safety of my family in Finland and anxious about a nuclear war in my beloved Europe.

During these difficult days I have most certainly not been my best. Sleep has been elusive and I have felt on edge most of the time. I have not been great company. I have had to look after myself with more intention.

I urge you to not passively watch when a sovereign nation is viciously attacked. Speak up and take action. If you have felt stressed, just as I have, do look after yourself as well. We will need to be strong for a long time. We need to defend freedom and help those in need. What Russia has set in motion will change our lives for a long period of time.

https://aureliapsychology.com/russian-invasion-of-ukraine/