Dave the Counsellor

https://www.bustle.com/p/the-fig-tree-quote-in-the-bell-jar-is-always-used-out-of-context-it-actually-changes-the-entire-meaning-8509944

The "Fig Tree" Quote In 'The Bell Jar' Is Always Used Out-Of-Context, And It Actually Changes The Entire Meaning When I first read The Bell Jar, I was shocked to discover that it is not, in fact, a huge bummer of a book. I'd been hoping for the sort of terrifically sad book that I could read while sobbing in the bathtub. But that wasn't what I got (although I…

The dangerous consequences when police fail to do their job in DV cases Two children gunned down by their father. A woman seriously assaulted after officers ignored her request for a protection order. Another with fractured ribs told police won't investigate. When police fail to follow operating procedures, the consequences can be deadly.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2024/04/05/jonathan-haidt-anxious-generation-solutions/

Opinion | Fighting the phone-warping of Gen Z doesn’t require government intrusion Jonathan Haidt’s “The Anxious Generation” is mostly convincing, but drastic corrective measures aren’t required. It’s obvious what parents and schools need to do.

AuDHD, a term describing the co-occurrence of Autism and Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), has gained more attention in recent years. This article aims to provide a clear overview of AuDHD, describing both defining features and the evolution of understanding within the community.



Understanding AuDHD
AuDHD is not officially recognised in the diagnostic manuals as a separate condition but is a convenient shorthand used to describe individuals who are autistic and meet diagnostic criteria for ADHD. Both autism and ADHD impacts the way a person thinks, feels, and perceives the world. Autism is characterised by differences in communication and thinking styles and social interaction. It is often accompanied by focused interests and consistent patterns of behaviour that provide structure and enjoyment. On the other hand, ADHD is characterised by a wide-ranging spectrum of attention-regulation challenges, where individuals may have trouble sustaining focus when they are not intrinsically interested in the task, may act without thinking (impulsivity), and often exhibit a high level of physical activity or restlessness (hyperactivity). As a result, the person experiences challenges in planning, prioritising, and initiating daily tasks, organising their time, activities, and belongings, and in regulating social interactions. AuDHD individuals differ in the type and severity of these challenges depending on the levels of stress and support they experience.



Evolution of Diagnostic Perspectives
Until 2013, International diagnostic texts, e.g. the Diagnostic Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders Fourth Edition (DSM-4, APA, 1994), did not recognise the possibility of co-diagnosis for Autism and ADHD, treating them as distinct and mutually exclusive. However, the DSM-5, released in 2013, acknowledged the co-occurrence and allowed for both diagnoses to be conferred to the person. This change reflects a better understanding of the overlapping and distinct aspects of these conditions, emphasising the need for comprehensive assessment strategies to accurately identify and support Autistic, ADHD and AuDHD individuals.



Characteristics of AuDHD
Attention: Autism and ADHD characteristics intersect in complex ways. While both can involve attention-related challenges, their presentations differ. Autism-related attention issues often focus on intense interests, whereas ADHD involves more general difficulties with sustained attention and impulsivity.

AuDHD individuals navigate the confluence of these traits, which can create internal conflicts and unique challenges. For example, the autistic aspect might crave routine and predictability, finding comfort in established patterns and familiar activities. This individual might meticulously organise their workspace, adhere to a fixed daily schedule, or become intensely absorbed in their special interests. However, the ADHD side may introduce a contrasting impetus for spontaneous decisions, seeking novel experiences or responding to sudden urges without considering the longer-term consequences. This could result in abrupt changes in activities, starting new hobbies on a whim, or an inconsistent approach to tasks, which disrupts their need for routine and predictability.

Time Management Conflicts: Individuals may struggle with punctuality due to ADHD’s influence, which can lead to difficulties in time management and a tendency to be late. However, the autistic side usually experiences significant stress and discomfort due to not being on time, reflecting a deep-seated need for routine and predictability.

Planning and Ex*****on Discrepancies: The impulsivity and forgetfulness associated with ADHD can cause challenges in remembering and following through on planned steps. Meanwhile, the autistic aspect may drive a person toward meticulous planning and a strong desire to execute these plans flawlessly, leading to frustration when plans are not carried out perfectly.

Dietary Preferences and Novelty Seeking: The ADHD trait may present as a desire to explore new and different foods, seeking variety and novelty. In contrast, autism may influence strong preferences for specific tastes and textures, leading to a restrictive dietary pattern. This dichotomy can make mealtime choices particularly challenging.

Craving for Novelty Versus the Need for Sameness: ADHD often brings a need for new experiences and stimulation, while the autistic part of an individual may crave stability, routine, and sameness. Balancing these opposing needs can be a constant struggle, as individuals may feel torn between exploring new activities and the comfort of familiar environments.



Navigating AuDHD
Successfully navigating AuDHD requires a holistic understanding of both neurotypes. It is essential for individuals, families, and professionals to recognise the diverse array of strengths and challenges present in AuDHD. Strategies such as structured flexibility, which combines routine with allowances for spontaneity, can be beneficial. Support may also include multimodal therapy approaches, educational accommodations, and social support networks, all tailored to the individual’s unique profile. Recognising and celebrating the strengths of AuDHD, such as exceptional focus in areas of interest, creative problem-solving, and dynamic thinking, can empower individuals to thrive.



Where to from here?
If you are interested in learning more about the combination of ADHD, executive functioning and autism, our online course Autism, ADHD and Executive Function covers the latest research on autism and ADHD, the strengths and challenges of being autistic and having ADHD, and strategies to cope at school, work, and home.

https://attwoodandgarnettevents.com/product/webcast-event-autism-adhd-and-executive-function-10-may-2024/

The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it is not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of the other person—without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other. ~Osho

(Book: The Power of Love [ad] https://amzn.to/3UZhgZB)

(Art: 'One Reflection', 1998 by Clive Smith)

https://markmanson.net/why-dating-is-so-hard

It's Complicated: Why Relationships and Dating Can Be So Hard An in-depth look into why dating is so difficult in this day and age.

dont allow yourself to be corrupted by your unjust suffering

It is normal to be:
1. Struggling to make decisions
2. Grieving, even things and people who hurt us
3. Comparing ourselves to others
4. Not understanding our feelings
5. Having a difficult time identifying our purpose in life
6. Changing our mind
7. Having hard time admitting when we are wrong
8. Wanting things, we cannot have
9. Struggling to know who we are
10. Wanting more and less at the same time
11. Confusing people’s approval with self-worth
12. Having doubts about our relationship
13. Wanting things, we cannot have
14. Feeling stuck

you have to heal from the people who hurt you, otherwise your are going to bleed on the people who did not cut you.

Until men and women start having honest conversations about who they truly are, what demons they battle with, where they lack and what the truly want, love with continue to be a temporary emotion. Honesty and Communication are key, stop being afraid to speak on where you are.

When we expect someone to mind read, it's a symptom of not knowing what's going on inside us.

They will change!
I cannot impose or control someone’s growth.
It is not my place to project on someone a version of who I hope they will become.
My role is to maintain an openness and honesty that allows me to see someone for who they are. That helps me decide to build a relationship with them, or choose to go.

https://www.theaca.net.au/news/reframing-autism-and-understanding-the-female-autism-phenotype/?fbclid=IwAR18ku5mYq_Il9uyVAhqQcJSMkZ-cNbHFxNEIjHAarEfTjfCxPHYjAqlc5w

Australian Counselling Association | Reframing Autism and Understanding the Female Autism Phenotype The Australian Counselling Association (ACA) is a National progressive professional peak association of counsellors and psychotherapists with over 9,000 individual members

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/sep/06/psychologist-devastating-lies-mental-health-problems-politics?fbclid=IwAR39tLoxZBSe_2oWXSSJvM2DF6Eim-5r7f2j4Wb44anQ8OCJ4-WJwm2oNdo

I’m a psychologist – and I believe we’ve been told devastating lies about mental health | Sanah Ahsan Society’s understanding of mental health issues locates the problem inside the person - and ignores the politics of their distress, says psychologist Sanah Ahsan

Reasons they distance that are not to punish you
• They are feeling overwhelmed and need solitude to calm
• Fear that they will disappoint you
• Inability to ask for what they really need from you
• They are afraid of stressful or shaming relationship talk
• They have not been making enough time for themselves
• Relationships worries they don’t know how to bring up
• You tend to blame or shame them instead of requesting
• You both spend more time addressing problems than connecting or having fun
• They do not how to ask for healthy time and space

A lesson is grief
If someone is of valued to you, they will occupy a place in your heart. When they are gone, that place will be empty. We call that emptiness grief
If you feel grief, it is because you once felt love. Grief is love looking for a home. Sadly, in or hasty effort to eradicate out grief, we also eradicate our love
We turn to hatred or anger or fear. We harden and shut our hearts and chalk up the whole experience to one big mess caused by you-know-who
But grief, if we can stomach it is a necessary part of a transition. It is the period in which we gather up all that we have learned so the next time we will be wiser and stronger.
If you valued someone enough to give the a piece of yourself, it’s because you knew, perhaps unconsciously, there was a lesson they could teach you
When the relationship ends the lessons live on
Grief is a period in which we pay homage to the person who taught us those lessons, even if they were painful. Even if it did not feel fair
Grief is the eye of the storm, the temporary window in which we can transmute emptiness to openness, death to rebirth, and finally, grief to gratitude

Bless the daughters who sat carrying the trauma of mothers. Who sat asking for more love and not getting any, carried themselves to light. Bless the daughter who raised themselves.

Autistic Depression.
One in three autistic adolescents has the signs of clinical depression. Autistic individuals across the lifespan are four times more likely to experience depression in their lifetime compared to neurotypical.

Depression may present in various ways for an autistic person. Recognising changes in behaviour is vital to help support the autistic person around you. For those autistics with limited communication and expressive language, changes in behaviours can be an essential clue when something is not quite right. Below are some signs of depression for an autistic person:

* Externalised agitated: depression expressed as agitation and blame of others rather than oneself, this may be seen as someone going into ‘attack mode’ and perceived as aggressive, but the underlying emotion may be low self-worth and depression.

* Express feelings of personal defectiveness, feeling extremely self-critical or belief they are defective in a deep and unchangeable way.

* Suppression of emotions - Suppression of painful emotions can hide the symptoms of depression so effectively that the person ‘slips under the radar’ and does not receive the help they so desperately need. Unfortunately, the painful emotions do not go away, but instead, intensify and elongate the depressive episode, and can also cumulate and lead to intermittent ‘depression attacks’. The cost of masking the real self and emotions in order to be accepted and liked can create a chronic sense of concealed alienation and feelings of personal defectiveness. It can also be exhausting to lead a double life, significantly contributing to feeling depressed.

* Emotional dyskinesia - or a reduced range of emotional expression in the face and body language. For many, because they do not look or sound distressed, there can be a lack of recognition of that person’s feelings and access to support and increasing feelings of alienation and depression may occur.

* Alexithymia, an autistic person may say they are not anxious or depressed, however, their thought patterns, behaviour and physiology will tell a different story.

* Change in special interests – For some autistics, an indication of a very deep depression is the loss of all enthusiasm for what was their special interest.

* Stay socially isolated - a chronic sense of concealed alienation

* The functional use of anger to achieve solitude
Unfortunately, many clinicians and professionals are unaware of the unique presentation of depression for an autistic adolescent. This leads to many individuals without the supports they need.

This live course counts for 5.5 hours of Continuing Professional Development or Teacher Accreditation hours. (For NSW Teachers: the course may be recorded as an elective PD with NESA).

We will explore depression in much more depth in Succeeding with Autism in the Teens and as a Young Adult on 22nd July 2022. Live Webcast, 9.30 – 4.00pm Australian Eastern Standard Time (AEST – Brisbane)

https://attwoodandgarnettevents.com/product/succeeding-with-autism-in-the-teens/

Does your Child or Adolescent have NDIS Funding?
If you are self-managed or third party-managed and parent education is in the Plan you can use your NDIS funding to attend this event.

Do You Need a Tax Invoice Receipt for this Event?
Please email us at [email protected] and we will send you one.

** The information in this post is from peer-reviewed research and the perspectives and experiences of many autistic individuals from clinical experience and communications and may not apply to each person.

https://www.facebook.com/theacainc/photos/a.122720605822386/742867063807734

Did you catch us in the news today? Read below ⬇️ article from today's Daily Mercury - many thanks to Jackie for spreading our message!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRNpGsvzOlw&t=74s

Attachment Theory Explained - Attached Animated Book Summary In this video I summarize the book Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller in detail. I have been wanting to summarize this book for a long time. In fact, ...

https://www.counsellorscare.com.au/

Counsellors Care There is a solution to the current mental health system crisis, that is registered counsellors. Join Counsellors Care to call for change to our mental health care system.

https://attwoodandgarnettevents.com/2022/02/09/10-things-you-need-to-know-about-your-autistic-partner/

10 Things You Need to Know About Your Autistic Partner In this blog we list 10 things you need to know about your autistic partner to give your relationship every opportunity to thrive.In this blog we list 10 things you need to know about your autistic partner to give your relationship every opportunity to thrive.

https://www.facebook.com/tonyattwoodmichellegarnett/photos/a.1767712706795158/3282400195326394/

A useful way to think about autism is to understand it as a different neurology expressed in a ‘rainbow’ of ways that always represent both strengths and challenges in the person’s profile. The person is different, not defective and deserves respect and admiration for how they cope in a world where most people are not only not autistic but do not understand someone who is.

A media release from the Australian Counselling Association.

Scott Morrison (ScoMo)

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2021/mar/03/grace-tame-chides-scott-morrison-for-his-handling-of-sexual-assault-claims

Grace Tame rebukes Scott Morrison for his handling of sexual assault claims Australian of the year says prime minister has ‘clearly not’ lived up to his expressed hope that r**e survivors feel they will be believed