Untamed Grace

YOU get to choose.
You have the power to choose.
You are capable of making a choices.
You get to decide what is best for you.
You get to choose what thoughts you entertain, what feelings you allow to become, what you do every moment, ever.
YOU get to choose.

How fu***ng epic is that.

We all have within us the power to choose, whatever that means for you. We all have within us incredible ability to think and feel and do what is true to us - if you struggle to really know the way, start by asking “is this helpful or unhelpful” (to me, my goals, my plans, my higher purpose, my mind, body, spirit), if you find the answer is no, then make you choice and change the path..

If you’re not sure how.. reach out, very soon I will be offer 1:1 counselling and would love to support YOU in discovering YOUR own power and strength.

Because I believe in you, totally, fully, completely and even if you don’t have the hope right now, I can hold it for you, until you are ready to take it back. I’ve got you.

Here is a picture of my outfit yesterday, washing machine hasn’t arrived yet so at the end of my clean clothes so wearing a miss match of a few random items.. looking ridiculous but CHOOSING to own my quirky anyway.

Wild love to you beautiful beings.
Maddie xx

Going to bed with a bursting heart after my first night as the Mental Health Clinician at a new job. Sometimes I’m so incredibly in awe of my life it takes my breath away.

This new job, with incredible opportunities to travel Australia and support young people, meeting other awesome humans who care about mental health and wellbeing is beyond a dream..

So incredibly in awe of this life I’m creating..

We were approved for a house!!

And just like that I can let go of the breath I didn’t know I’d been holding..

So begins our next chapter..

I feel anger within me today. Like a swirling tornado of irritation within my body and mind.
I’ve had a great week, beginning with a beautiful Wild Being event, presenting in classes on some of my favourite women’s health topics at work, super productive and feeling back in flow after not for a few months.
Yet today, as my weekend begins I feel it within me. The heat. The frustration, the irritation, the eruption waiting to happen.

I could have forgotten to take my antidepressants for a few days, maybe I’m overwhelmed with my sons and their constant needing things from me, the lack of alone time I have. Maybe I’m soul tired and my cup is empty. Maybe I’m sick of not having my own home and playing the endless game of inspection, application, rejection. Maybe I’m sick of not finding pants I love that look good, maybe I’m stretching myself too thin and doing too much. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

It doesn’t feel nice.
I don’t like it when my mind wants to be okay but the rest of me feels heavy with feeling.

I suppose the why of it doesn’t really matter.. it’s what I choose to do with it now.

My gut is asking me to growl and roar while I’m in my own space so I don’t allow my anger to seep out and hurt my children.
My body is asking to shake, stomp, tap and move some of this feeling around.
My face and hands are asking to be rubbed with beautiful oil, my eyes closed, slowly inhaling and exhaling, letting go what needs to go.
My soul is asking for nourishment and gentleness, compassion and understanding.
My mind is asking to write.. so here I am.

ALL of my feeling is welcome, all of my anger and irritation and frustration and overwhelm is welcome.. I have reason to feel.. we all do.

I get to choose what I do with this raging tornado within me today though and I’m going to listen to what my body, mind, heart and soul are asking of me today.

Are you listening to you?
What do you need today?

Can you feel it?
The slowing,
the withdrawing,
the turning inward.

Can you feel it?
The stilling of the mind,
the calming of the heart,
the slowing of the body.

Can you feel it?
The increasing darkness,
the welcoming under,
the decent.

Once upon a time I took no real, intentional notice of the seasons; I observed the seasonal changes, the leaves falling from the trees, the changes in temperature, the blossoms in spring, the heat in summer and frost on my windscreen but I was not connected on a deeper level, I didn’t comprehend, or care to understand the intricate and beautifully woven designs that impact our entire being so intimately.

Then I started to notice, learn, acknowledge and get to know what the seasons mean for me as a person, for my body, my mind, my environment and how the “season” impact every part of my life.

Winter has become a time for rest, for introspection, for going inward and being with the dark. It is a time for deep nourishment of the soul and body; it is a time for slowness and ease.

Every month I experience my own inner winter, as I bleed, apart of my monthly cycle, every year I experience the winter within our world, and often within my mind, emotional self and creativity I experience the seasons of planting, taking root, blossoming, blooming, death then rebirth again and again, the seasons of me.

I made a choice to stop judging myself for WANTING to slow down and retreat during the winter. I let go of the idea that I had to keep pushing to live as I would in any other season. I gave myself permission to feel as the Earth feels and live as the Earth lives. Slow, quiet, dark, still, in rest, allowing to die what needs to die so new, can come again. To honour the winter within and the winter out.

Do you feel it?
The winter calling.
How will you honour it?

Join us at The Veiling, a medicine woman immersion to honour the winter within, however she is, however she comes, however she’s been.
Saturday June 1st, 2024, Bancoora
Details via the link in my bio.

Wild love,
Maddie xx
weaving l

I met a girl at the library tonight who knew my boys. Her brother was friends with my middle boy. She told me that she and her brother were riding their electric scooter recently and that had they had fallen off and hurt themselves.
At the time she remembered that our house was close by so they went there for help.. she found it all burned and gone. She said she couldn’t believe it.

Our chat made my heart hurt. Made me miss all the kids I used to have coming through my house, even though sometimes I found it so incredibly annoying. Every day one of the boys friends, or people who knew the boys would come over, ask the boys to play, walk through the house, play on the Xbox, jump on our trampoline, call one of their names from over the fence.

People knew we lived there and knew it was a place they could come and be welcomed.

All my life, since I was a kid myself I’d hoped that one day I would have a home where people felt welcome, where they could come and have a snack or hang out, that was open for all who needed a place.

I’m calling in a home that can be the same again, better than our old home even. With a big enough dining area I can have a big table to cook dinners for all our people, a comfy lounge room with space for couches for the boys and their friends to hang out, in a part of Leopold that is easily accessible for the kids to come, knowing they have a safe place if they ever need.

I continue to sit in deep trust, believing with everything in me that we will find a house and a landlord will choose us for the perfect home for my little family and our community.

Missing my home tonight but letting it all wash over me knowing that we’re living a beautiful life and it will only get better.

Dirt under my fingernails,
Glitter over my skin.
Cuts on my feet from dancing barefoot on the forest floor.
The song of joyful, laughing women still ringing in my ears.
The smell of ancient Redwoods and the damp earth lingering with each inhale.
Skin, soft and smooth, the scent of orange and sesame from the hand crafted oils I massaged into my luscious body.
A joyous heart, expanding with love for the incredible experiences I am honoured to be apart of and for the women alongside me on this journey.
Deep, deep gratitude for my friend and co creator .weaving
Light dancing throughout my body, my light, remembering why I’m here.

How could it get any better than this?

Thank you Dear Ones for sitting in circle today, for seeing me, for allowing me to witness you, for your laughter, joy and silliness. You are light. I love you.





____________________________________

Season of Light
A Wild Being creation
Closing container after a four month journey

If you’re feeling the call to the Wild, to being in deep connection with the Earth, to sisterhood, to sitting in relationship with self and getting mud under your fingernails, cuts on your feet from dancing barefoot, joy and liberation like you’ve never known and a deep holding please join us on our next journeys..
🌀 May 26th, Wild Being Forest Immersion event
🌀 June 1st, The Veiling, a medicine women’s journey day retreat
🌀 August, Season of Love, a four month journey (closed container)

For more details visit .weaving &

Wild love and commitment to you, always
Maddie xx

What an amazing thing to realise you’ve survived every single challenge that’s been put in front of you, you’ve overcome every breaking apart of yourself, you’ve lived through all the heart ache and it hasn’t destroyed you; that every day there is hope for more beautiful moments and that you have built an unwavering faith and resilience of yourself, showing your children you can do hard things… ooooft, rise baby! Rise.

In the wise words of my BFF..

“Sometimes just showing up is enough”.

Loving you .redhead

When the safety and security of my children is threatened everything within me wants to control every aspect of our lives until the deemed “threat” is over. I want to micro and macro manage everything and make sure I right all the wrongs that have happened because of my choices. The guilt and regret is overwhelming and suffocating at times.

This time doesn’t call for control through, it isn’t asking for micromanagement. It’s calling for surrender, trust and an openness to allow the Universe, God, Spirit - the powers at be bigger than myself to lead the way.

It’s calling for a letting go of the judgement and harsh criticism and giving myself grace, just noticing the feelings without being overwhelmed by them, being curious but not holding onto anything.

My life feels like a continuous lesson on trust and surrender to the process.

They were the first words I had permanently inked on my body “trust the process”, at the time in relation to birth and the work I wanted to do but now the motto I live my life by, however challenging at times.

I’m getting better at letting go but when something so significant happens, like the burning down of mine and my sons home by someone I loved and trusted it throws me way off.

And yet, I still feel the deep trust I’ve gained and it is the word I keep coming back to.

Trust, trust, trust.

Today I’m asking myself how can I trust more?
Where do I need to further surrender?
Have I hardened up or can I remain soft?
Can I let go and believe that we will be okay?
Am I able to let the guilt dissolve?
And I safe to trust, surrender, soften?

Can I?

“Bones represent the indestructible force. They are by their structure, hard to burn, nearly impossible to pulverise. Bones represent the indestructible soul-spirit. We know the soul-spirit can be injured and maimed, but it is very nearly impossible to kill”

- Clarissa Pinkola Estés

My Suns ☀️

My Nan was hit by a car and died when I was 15. She was my favourite person and incredibly involved in my life. I adored her and she felt like home to me.
She used to make Anzac biscuits, throughout out my entire childhood I stood at the kitchen bench with her making them, watching the bi carb foam up the golden syrup, mixing it in the bowl, sneaking balls of mixture when she looked away, squashing them down before they went in the oven. Hers were always a bit harder than usual ever cook mine, I’ve never been able to make them the same, I like them chewy better but I’ve always wanted the memory of hers.

Tonight a neighbour bought over a jar of Anzac biscuits having learned why a strange little family was staying in the house next to hers.

They taste exactly like my Nan’s used to, they have the same crunch, the same colour. I wanted to cry when I first bit into it.

Little bits of what feels like home to me are showing up everywhere at the moment reminding me that home is not a place, not always.. it is anywhere and anything that means something to you. An Anzac biscuit, a road you used to ride your bike down, you sons arms around your neck, the smell of your Mumma.

Soak it all in, soak it up and remember what home is to you ♥️

I am the freckles on my face and the shape of my lips.
I am the ginger in my hair, laced through with the white of wisdom.
I am the blue of my eyes and the blonde tipped lashes.
I am the shape of my jaw and the curve of my neck.
I am the long fingers and funny thumbs.
I am the breasts, not so high and tight after giving life to three babies.
I am the white skin of my belly, decorated with the scars of an expanding belly as it grew my babes.
I am the ginormous feet that have carried me through every day of my life so far.
I am the breath in my lungs and the life in my body.
I am the warm heart, beating the precious blood throughout my body and the soul heart constantly expanded with love for more women, more people, more.
I am the stillness when my I’m in nature.
I am the knowing deep within that guides my every day when I silence the ego.
I am the trust I have in the process, in the path, in something bigger than myself that is always leading, always at work, always guiding.
I am the womb that carries the limitless potential of creation.
I am the brain within my skull, full of firing neurons and soft tissue that enables all things for me within this life.
I am my intellect, my intelligence, my thoughts, my knowledge always seeking to know more, be more.
I am the connection I have with people, everywhere, part of me within them and them within me.
I am the ideas I have and the offerings I bring to life to serve others, always to serve others.
I am the words from my mouth and the songs I sing to uplift and unite my community.
I am the smallest cell within my body and the most expansive thought within my mind.
I am the spirit that flows through me, offering me the gifts I’m honoured to receive…

Continued in comments..

I am the freckles on my face and the shape of my lips.
I am the ginger in my hair, laced through with the white of wisdom.
I am the blue of my eyes and the blonde tipped lashes.
I am the shape of my jaw and the curve of my neck.
I am the long fingers and funny thumbs.
I am the breasts, not so high and tight after giving life to three babies.
I am the white skin of my belly, decorated with the scars of an expanding belly as it grew my babes.
I am the ginormous feet that have carried me through every day of my life so far.
I am the breath in my lungs and the life in my body.
I am the warm heart, beating the precious blood throughout my body and the soul heart constantly expanded with love for more women, more people, more.
I am the stillness when my I’m in nature.
I am the knowing deep within that guides my every day when I silence the ego.
I am the trust I have in the process, in the path, in something bigger than myself that is always leading, always at work, always guiding.
I am the womb that carries the limitless potential of creation.
I am the brain within my skull, full of firing neurons and soft tissue that enables all things for me within this life.
I am my intellect, my intelligence, my thoughts, my knowledge always seeking to know more, be more.
I am the connection I have with people, everywhere, part of me within them and them within me.
I am the ideas I have and the offerings I bring to life to serve others, always to serve others.
I am the words from my mouth and the songs I sing to uplift and unite my community.
I am the smallest cell within my body and the most expansive thought within my mind.
I am the spirit that flows through me, offering me the gifts I’m honoured to receive.
I am the centre of my universe and the universe is me.
I am filled with infinite possibility, without limit or restriction.
I am the stars and the moon, the entire galaxy.
I am all that is, all that has been and all that will be…

Cont in comments..

Who am I?

Who am I without the material identity from the life I’ve lived?

The material things I’ve known, created, loved and bought to life burned away to ashes and rubble.

Who am I?

Who am I without my childhood Teddy, Snowey, reminding me of companionship, no matter what.
Who am I without the old photos of my baby and child self, a reminder of the little girl I’d been.
Who am I without my drums that tethered me to my wild self.
Who am I without my books that anchored me to my knowledge.
Who am I without the journals I’d written of a life so far lived.
Who am I without the clothes I had chosen to create the identity I wished to portray.
Who am I without the kitchen aid I used to bake a decade of beautiful food for the people I’ve loved.
Who am I without the herbs and plants I’d harvested, dried and loved into new life as I remembered an old knowing.
Who am I without the chimes I used to support women into relaxation.
Who am I without a table to serve food to those I care about.
Who am I without the trinkets and treasures I’d collected throughout my 33 years in this life.

Who am I without.. who am I without.. who am I without..

I am, as I always say, I am.

I am not the things I’ve collected or kept as material possessions.

I am just as I am.

Mother to my sons, forevermore.

Woman with a heart to love and support others, a heart which can never be burned away.

Daughter, sister, friend, nurse, colleague.

I am not what I had, I am what I am.

Cannot wait to find out..

Words of wisdom burned into the hoop of “The Way-shower” so that these words may guide those who hear her beat, encourage them and provide hope for a better tomorrow.

“Love everyone” by Asha, 6
“Hope” by my Mumma
“Surrender” by my sister
“Love” by Jaxx, 9
“Be Live, Be Free” by my cousin ._.queen
“From the dark, into the light” by my sister
“Never give up” by my boy Tobi, 13

Words for me, words for them, words for you imbued and remembered with the beat and her song.

♥️♥️♥️

What else do you do when you’ve lost all of your drums but make another..

The Wayshower.

Crafted by my own and my sisters hands, together, while my sons and their cousins had a dance party behind us.

A symbol of hope, evolution and surrender to the process.

Thank you for you my sister can’t resist ya. I adore you.

My beautiful Mother Drum.
Crafted alongside the most beautiful midwives as I passed through the final gates of ascent back to the light.
A symbol and honouring of my Maiden Mother to Mother self.
This drum was created to hold others, to mother them, love them and support them. It did so for me more times than I can count.
It ignited a deep passion within me for this incredible medicine, teaching other women and set me on the journey I’m now on.

I don’t know if she will be played again, soaked through with the stench of smoke, singed all over and blackened but I do know she will continue to be a beacon of strength for me. Proving that you have your life burned down, everything destroyed, all you loved and felt safe within gone AND survive, a little worse for wear, a little scarred, a bit damaged, maybe not looking, feeling or sounding the same but surviving nonetheless.

Rise again we will, new drums will be made, life will be rebuilt.

My Mother Drum a reminder of survival, strength and resilience.

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

The waiting place,
the void,
the empty space,
means infinite possibly lay ahead and there is room for anything and everything to come to life.

Lean in.
Surrender.
Let go.
Be patient.
Dream.
Soften.
Receive.

Space = limitless possibility.
Remember.

Integration.
An essential and often overlooked or neglected part of deep body, soul, mind, spirit work.
But the most vital part.

The transmutation does not happen when we’re doing the work, we alchemise it when we allow ourselves time to sit with the lessons learned.

So often I see people chasing the next thing, the next thing, the next thing. Searching for something, pushing for expansion but not stopping long enough for the evolution to really happen within them.

Or I see/hear of people not being truly supported in the “after” of events or ceremony. Feeling like they’ve been cracked open but being unsure of how to go about life after or feeling alone in it, or unsafe even with old stories broken apart but the space not closed up before they’re out in the “real world” again.

Integration really an absolutely detrimental part, the most essential, really.

Our physical body needs time to catch up to our energetic body. We have to allow our WHOLE self the time to rest, to integrate, to change, catch up, be nurtured and nourished so that we can fully bring to life the learnings from the “work”.

As a space holder I have the responsibility of ensuring the people I hold through sacred containers also feel held and supported in the time after. This is not an optional part for me, it is essential that they know I am available if they need.

I can never guarantee a “safe” place, the only safety we can ever be sure of is within ourselves but I can promise a safe practice, I can empower you so that you know you are capable of holding yourself, I can ensure that you feel held after you’ve cracked open or done the work and I can continue to remind women that the work continues after you step out of sacred space and to be gentle with themselves.

Don’t skip the integration, surrender to it and watch the magic happen.

I am not a worker of light.
I am a shadow worker.
Forever traversing the deepest depths of my own soul so I may hold others with intimate knowing of the journey they face.

There is a comfort for me within the dark, a place I’ve spent so much of my life whilst battling through depression, hardship and being so alone on the path I chose for myself.

I have not always had the awareness I have now but the incredibly hard journey I’ve been on has set the foundation of who I am now. It has paved the way for me to become the space holder and holder of women I am now.

I’ve never craved ascension, to be in the light or to rise above. I didn’t resonate with so much of what I was seeing, I wondered if I wasn’t meant to do this work because I felt I worked differently to so many of the women I admired. Now I know better and have found teachers that work in the realms I do.

My calling is to deepen, to descend and to learn the ways of shadow, of dark and of the deepest of feminine wild. Not so I can live in hardship and never see the light but so I can experience, learn and bring my knowledge and lessons to the women maybe not ready to journey to the depths I have yet.

I’ve been afraid of rising and being in the light. I’ve allowed my fear of stepping into my full power, believing it was to be found in the light, keep me stuck and unable to move forward but I am no longer afraid for I know where I belong, I know what my purpose is, I know where I am needed and can be used the most effectively.

I feel these new realisations landing within me, a new knowing that this work is home for me, this is it, where I’m meant to play in this time right now. I don’t need to be or do anything differently, I don’t need to change or strive for something different. I have arrived and I feel the way.

I am a shadow worker.
I’m here to support women through the deepening of their own relationship with the decent, the dark, the depths.
I’m here, I’m worthy and I’m ready.

📸 .weaving
Caves and Courage
Season of Light
March 2024

I’m calling in three women to join the Autumn Weaving.

Are you one of them?

Do you feel the call within?
Are you curious about the incredible medicine of the drum?
Ready to weave, create and birth your drum into being?

Take this as your sign to come, come to the beat of my drum, calling for you, knowing all women need to sit with this medicine, be held, nourished and guided in the most beautiful way as they craft.

Drum crafting is a medicine as old as womankind, come remember with us.

I cannot wait to hold you, nourish you and witness you in all that you are.

Join us at the Autumn Weaving.
April 27 & 28th.
At a beautiful home in the bush in Forrest.

Wild love,
Maddie x

Untamed she is.
No longer bound by the chains that once held her.
Afraid to move, to dance, to sing.
Afraid to show her curvy body without the shields of clothing.
No more.
Untamed she is.
No longer holding back the chaos within her, desperate to be released through primal movement.
No longer hidden behind the uncomfortablity and comparison that plagued her mind and kept her contained.
Afraid of judgement.
Afraid of shame.
Afraid of not doing it right.
No more.
Untamed she is.
The woman inside, screaming to be set free has been released.
Now welcome in her most true expression.
The woman I desired to be, dreamed to be, already within me, just waiting, waiting.
She has arrived.
She has arrived.
Untamed she is.
Bringing forth all that she is, no part left behind.
Desired by self, cherished, honoured and revered.
Free to be.
Free to move, to dance, to sing.
Moving to beat of her own drum.
Dancing to the rhythm of her own song.
Singing the songs sung from her own heart.
Untamed she is.
No longer afraid of the power within her.
No longer held back by the confines of her own mind.
No longer afraid of the raw, true and most natural version of her.
Unstoppable in the pursuit of what sets her soul on fire.
Tethered to the Earth.
Untamed she is .
Her old ways forgotten with the deepest remembering and reclaiming of her wild.
Never again bound by fear.
Never again forgotten.
Limitless.
Fearless.
Unstoppable.
Chaotic.
Powerful.
Free.
Wild.
Untamed she is.

📸 .weaving
Season of Light
Caves & Couarage
March 2024

A few weeks ago, in preparation for an upcoming event, my friends and I moved through a terrifyingly beautiful process of bringing forth our roar, supported by the earth, then each other, one embodying whatever was coming through in that moment, the other a midwife, witnessing, the other a mirror.

I found it incredibly challenging.

I midwifed my sisters, mirrored my sister, then it was my turn.

I started by feeling into what was within me that wanted to be shared, seen and bought forward in that moment.

I began to move my body, my hips, apart of the Earth, running my hands over my body, feeling fully in that moment, gathering sand and using it as a way of expression with my movement.

I felt the energy of Lilith and Kali become one with my own. Their medicine, message and what they stand for becoming a part of that moment, with me, through my breath, my energy, my movement, my hisses and sounds.

I didn’t fully understand at the time what was coming forth, what I was calling in, taking back, reclaiming and standing powerfully in.

I do now.

That moment gave me back a power over myself. It reignited a protective, fierceness I didn’t realise was lost.

Since then I’ve felt stronger in my boundaries, in my non negotiable’s and in standing against what is not aligned with me or what I want for my sons.

I’ve ended a relationship that had become abusive and incredibly toxic, he had changed for the worse and this new found power would absolutely not stand for it anymore, not for me, not for my children.

I feel an unyielding strength and confidence within myself to stand true to me, my values, my family, my truth and what I want for our future, a newfound strength I haven’t quite felt before.

I was unsure on the beach that day, the experience was scary, I felt vulnerable and challenged but how incredible to experience life in this way; to have opportunities to find new parts of myself and reclaim old ones.

Time showed me the value in that experience, made me feel it and move to the next level of my evolution.

Can’t wait to put to the test whatever the beautiful .weaving comes up with next 😝

Words from the Weavers… Johanna ♡

“What an incredible, 2 day journey this was. I was blessed to be able to share this weekend with my 3 month old daughter, Ravenna, and 5 other wonderful women as we crafted our medicine drums.

The location for this experience was spectacular. We were surrounded by rainforest and a beautiful steam, and driving to the campgrounds was an adventure of its own, awakening the inner child in me that was eager to play again. The permanent tents were cosy, comfortable, and amenities were also available at our camp grounds.

Hours in the forest were spent soaking, cutting and weaving my chosen roo hide. I burnt runes of protection for my children into my willow hoop, and it all came together to form my medicine drum.

This weekend wouldn’t have been possible without the incredible love, guidance, and support of our midwives, Clare and Maddie.

Maddie nourished our souls with her wholesome, decadent and absolutely delicious food and drinks. Her sunny and ever caring disposition ensured I was held throughout this journey. Maddie is very passionate about the healing that birthing a drum provides all women and I encourage anyone feeling the call, to not deliberate and come.

Clare is extremely gifted. Having such a captivating spirit, and beautiful way with words, she was able to ensure that when I was breaking down personal walls and boundaries, I felt supported, loved, safe and honoured.

I can not thank you both enough, and all the other women I shared this journey with. Healing, connecting, meditating, inspiring, creating...

I think back to this weekend often, and to say it was transformative is a complete understatement.”

The Weaving - Drum Crafting Journey
February 2024
Gadubanud Country
Pennyroyal
weaving