cosmic rapture

THE MAGIC PAINTING

Someplace, sometime, somehow there was a Magic Painting that was a doorway to another world.

Anyone who looked into the Painting fell into a trance and entered that other world, just as Alice through the looking glass. On the other side, they found themselves entangled in exciting and wonderful adventures. And when they returned they felt happy and healthy and healed of all their wounds and woes and worries.

One day some Bad Men stole the Magic Painting. Sly as rats they snuck away to the Low Places of the City. Quiet as snakes they slithered down a Crooked Street to a Hidden House. In that Hidden House was a Secret Chamber. And in that Secret Chamber was an Iron Safe that weighed as much as a mountain and was big enough for thirteen people to stand inside.

In that Iron Safe, the Bad Men put the Magic Painting. Then they locked the Safe, slunk out of the Secret Chamber, left the Hidden House and went their dark and separate ways.

Soon, the news that the Painting was missing spread across the world. Everyone wanted to know what had happened; everyone longed to look into the Painting and enter that other world where they would be healed of all their wounds.

Then the Bad Men started a rumour in the High Places of the City. The rumour was that if you paid one hundred million dollars you would be taken to a Hidden House upon a Crooked Street. Inside the Hidden House, according to the rumour, was a Secret Chamber with an Iron Safe that weighed as much as a mountain. And in the Iron Safe was a Magic Painting that was a doorway to another world.

Through their private secretaries and private detectives, people with one hundred million dollars to spare secretly got in touch with the Bad Men, who wrote everyone’s name down on a list. One night the Bad Men met the thirteen richest people at the top of the list, and off they all went to see the Magic Painting.

But they took a wrong turn on the Crooked Street. So they couldn’t find the Hidden House. So they couldn’t enter the Secret Chamber. So they couldn’t open the Iron Safe, even though they had the keys.

In fact, they got so hopelessly lost that they strayed into another world that wasn’t nearly as nice as the world of the Painting. In fact it was downright nasty.

And the Magic Painting was never seen again, at least not in that World.

published in

Nightmerries: the lighter side of darkness NIGHTMERRIES will chew you up, spit you out, and leave you frothing and twitching on the carpet giggling like a masculated banshee. More than 60 feculent fictions (read ‘em and weep) of a gangrenous culture including but not limited to: A Bad, Bad Feeling Hags to Haggis The Old Curiousity Shop Ni....

My first new poem in over 5 years:

A WAY WITH WORDS

Those who have a way with words
suppose they say that whey is curds?

Would you agree with what they say?
Or should it be that curds are whey?

Does it matter not to you
That words can batter false to true?

Away with words -- they cheat and lie.
Only nerds would bleat and sigh.

So when you shout a wordy phrase
then throughout my nerdy days

I'll curse and cuss you when you speak
Or worse, discuss and/or critique

Every little thing you say
I will belittle every day.

THE PRISON OF MY OWN DEVISING

Still trapped in the prison of my own devising
The prison bars are made of Self-Pity
The walls are made of Anxiety and Neurosis
The guards are recruited from Society and Culture
The Warden’s name is My Self
The searchlights are named Guilt, Fear and Shame
Love, Joy and Grace sit on the Parole Board.

The Secret of No Pain

Sitting on the train
smelling the rain
seeing the pain
on the faces in the train
burning my brain

Hearing the sound
of wheels going round
lost I am found
free I am bound
in that monotonous sound

Clickety clack
there and back
on a rusty iron track
feeling sleepy and slack
clickety clack

On the vinyl seat
in someone else’s heat
the warmth of living meat
left behind to greet
the next bum on the seat

Sitting on the train
here it comes again
burning my brain
the sound of the rain
the secret of no pain.

https://www.etsy.com/shop/CosmicRapture

CosmicRapture - Etsy Shop Otherworldly Dreams and Visions of Dark Delight by CosmicRapture located in Muswellbrook, Australia.

cosmic rapture updated their business hours.

Oils on art paper
42 cm x 29.5 cm

Can't think of an appropriate title -- any suggestions?

MANIC MEMES AND OTHER MINDSPACE INVADERS, ILLUSTRATED:
A Disturbing Repository of Quotations, Sayings, Insults, Proverbs, Aphorisms, Taunts, Mumbles & Miscellaneous Misbegotten Malarkey: 3rd Edition
=================================
At Amazon -- For e-reader/e-book, tablet, PC, or mobile

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00W63A2N4

Another new work. Any ideas as to title?
Purplexed?
Marooned?
Violated?
Piercing the branes?
It's 41 cm x 20.5 cm
Oils on stretched canvas

Haven't done a dark painting in a while. And thank Ahura Mazda for that! It's 45.5 cm x 35.5 cm, oils on board. Called Twilight Zone, ungodlily enough...

First new painting in a while ... a long while. (thank Christ for that!) It's 30.5 cm x 25.5 cm, oils on canvas. Called Random Walk, oddly enough...

Escapegoat

ESCAPEGOAT

His name was Godfrey. His prison nickname was “Goat”. He yearned for a normal life, but had never Toad the line for long enough to settle down.

He’d been arrested on a Poultry charge of Storking, which would have meant a non-custodial sentence had he not been caught Badgering a witness. Six months into his jail-time, Goat had taken the opportunity to escape. Since then he’d been on the Lamb, Pigs Do***ng his every move.

It was raining heavily as Goat made his way to where his girlfriend Gwyneth lived. He knocked on the door. No response. Standing in the rain, he knocked again. Still nothing. He smelled a Rat. It was all very Fishy but what choice did he have?

Goat shouted himself Horse. Finally, the door opened.

Come in out of the Reindeer,” said Gwyneth.

“Hey Gwin, what kept ya?” said Goat, “I was starting to suspect Fowl play.”

He followed her into the house. Her sister, Anna, was on the phone.

“Quit Yakking,” said Goat to Anna, “Gotta make a call. Important business.”

Turning to Gwyneth he said, “Hey Gwin, throw some steaks on the Gorilla, I’m Ravenous.”

Then he went to the bathroom to freshen up.

Anna got off the phone. “He’s got some nerve,” she said to Gwyneth, “Swanning around like he owns the place. Important business ...what a load of Bull! Eel never treat ya right, jus’ like I always said. Don’t know how Ewe can bear it. Drives me Batty! In fact, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell ya…”

Goat came out of the bathroom, picked up the phone and called his sidekick, Leo.

“Hey Leo, Let’s talk Turkey. I’m on the Lamb and I need some Bucks. How much is in the Kitty?”. CONTINUES at
http://cosmicrapture.blogspot.com.au/2017/02/escapegoat.html

IMAGE: 57 Chevy Goat Head limited giclee print. 5"x 7" on a black 8" x 10" matt board. By Zachary Prior. https://www.etsy.com/au/listing/85563435/57-chevy-goat-head-limited-giclee-print

Cosmic Rapture's blog: Pandemonium for Dummies http://cosmicrapture.blogspot.com/

====================================================

eBooks by Cosmic Rapture http://amzn.to/1NUDM7H
(for kindle, tablet, smartphone or e-reader.)

NIGHTMERRIES: THE LIGHTER SIDE OF DARKNESS. http://amzn.to/1NUwTDp This so-called "book" will chew you up, spit you out, and leave you twitching and frothing on the carpet. More than 60 dark and feculent fictions (read ‘em and weep) copiously and grotesquely illustrated.

AWAREWOLF & OTHER CRHYMES AGAINST HUMANITY (Vot could be Verse?). http://amzn.to/1KvkAmb We all hate poetry, right? But we might make an exception for this sick and twisted stuff. This devil's banquet of adults-only offal features more than 50 satanic sonnets, vitriolic verses and odious odes.

MANIC MEMES & OTHER MINDSPACE INVADERS. http://amzn.to/1X9r644 A disturbing repository of quirky quotes, sayings, proverbs, maxims, ponderances, adages and aphorisms. This menagerie holds no fewer than 184 memes from eight meme-species perfectly adapted to their respective environments.

MASTRESS & OTHER TWISTED TAILS. http://amzn.to/1K3bqxe An unholy corpus of oddities, strangelings, bizarritudes and peculiaritisms, including but not limited to barbaric episodes of herring-flinging and kipper-kissing. A cacklingly bizarre read that may induce fatal hysteria. Not Recommended!

FIENDS & FREAKS http://amzn.to/1QL5KYb and serpents, dragons, devils, lobsters, anguished spirits, hungry ghosts, hell-beings, zombies, organ-grinders, anti-gods, gods and other horse-thieves you wouldn't want to meet in a dark cosmos. Immature Content! Adults Maybe.

HAGS TO HAGGIS. http://amzn.to/1KviJ0M An obnoxious folio featuring a puke of whiskey-soaked war-nags, witches, maniacs, manticores and escapegoats. Not to mention (please don't!) debottlenecking and desilofication, illustrated. Take your brain for a walk on the wild side. Leave your guts behind.

cosmicrapture.blogspot.com Essays on spirituality, personhood, pantheism, consciousness, cosmology, pandemonium, Armageddon, eschaton. Many dark wicked fictions. Vogon Crhymes.

DIVINE MA********ON


Long, long ago at the dawn of time
even before the primordial slime
when stretching ahead were all the millennia
in which quite a lot, if not more, even many a
tragic mistake or foul evil plot
lay in the future but not at year dot.


Right at the top of history’s first page
when many an era and aeon and age
loomed far ahead to the greatest extent
was writ a uniquely dramatic event
that some call the Bang that was huge if not big
(please pass me my drink and light me a cig).


It wasn’t just huge, the bang was gigantic
God had felt mellow and flirty, romantic
sultry and h***y and steamy and loose
in the mood to create not just reproduce
it’s really not strange, unusual or odd
to find thoughts of love in the mind of a god.


How else could the world have ever been born
so long ago on that very first morn?
but who was the female and who the male?
who held the hammer that hammered the nail?
who was the yin and who was the yang?
who entered whom in that very first bang?


Was it asexual parthenogenesis
dividing oneself to avoid the nemesis
that some ...

.. CONTINUES at:
http://cosmicrapture.blogspot.com.au/2017/01/divine-masturbation.html

Cosmic Rapture's blog: Pandemonium for Dummies http://cosmicrapture.blogspot.com/

====================================================

eBooks by Cosmic Rapture http://amzn.to/1NUDM7H
(for kindle, tablet, smartphone or e-reader.)


NIGHTMERRIES: THE LIGHTER SIDE OF DARKNESS. http://amzn.to/1NUwTDp This so-called "book" will chew you up, spit you out, and leave you twitching and frothing on the carpet. More than 60 dark and feculent fictions (read ‘em and weep) copiously and grotesquely illustrated.


AWAREWOLF & OTHER CRHYMES AGAINST HUMANITY (Vot could be Verse?). http://amzn.to/1KvkAmb We all hate poetry, right? But we might make an exception for this sick and twisted stuff. This devil's banquet of adults-only offal features more than 50 satanic sonnets, vitriolic verses and odious odes.


MANIC MEMES & OTHER MINDSPACE INVADERS. http://amzn.to/1X9r644 A disturbing repository of quirky quotes, sayings, proverbs, maxims, ponderances, adages and aphorisms. This menagerie holds no fewer than 184 memes from eight meme-species perfectly adapted to their respective environments.


MASTRESS & OTHER TWISTED TAILS. http://amzn.to/1K3bqxe An unholy corpus of oddities, strangelings, bizarritudes and peculiaritisms, including but not limited to barbaric episodes of herring-flinging and kipper-kissing. A cacklingly bizarre read that may induce fatal hysteria. Not Recommended!


FIENDS & FREAKS http://amzn.to/1QL5KYb and serpents, dragons, devils, lobsters, anguished spirits, hungry ghosts, hell-beings, zombies, organ-grinders, anti-gods, gods and other horse-thieves you wouldn't want to meet in a dark cosmos. Immature Content! Adults Maybe.


HAGS TO HAGGIS. http://amzn.to/1KviJ0M An obnoxious folio featuring a puke of whiskey-soaked war-nags, witches, maniacs, manticores and escapegoats. Not to mention (please don't!) debottlenecking and desilofication, illustrated. Take your brain for a walk on the wild side. Leave your guts behind.

https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-i5LTesDNDyw/WI_Wq_IBGjI/AAAAAAAAVmU/Fpz1aud6Lg8nQhA0bKqv1HzpGyIl1yKbgCLcB/s640/masturb10.gif

2.bp.blogspot.com

ODE TO MY JOB http://amzn.to/1KvkAmb

No agenda was tabled
No meeting was chaired
All came who were abled
No-one was spared.

No minutes were red
The suits were all blue
All heard what was said
About what they should do.

No actions were listed
As open or closed
No task-owners queried
No deadlines imposed.

The guest speaker rose
He got to his feet
Assumed a cool pose
Said “Hi there, I’m Pete!”

That’s what he said
When he got up to speak
No hat on his head
At the meeting that week.

So why was he there
At the Monday team meeting?
Dark suit and great hair
Fake warmth in his greeting?

And what did he say
That well-groomed consultant
On that awful day
What was the resultant?

Your boss couldn’t be here
He was feeling quite tired
But He asked me to tell you
You’re gone, you’re all fired!

Not moved or suspended
And not redeployed.
We recommended
Now you’re unemployed.

For those who ...

------------------------------------------------------------------------
.. CONTINUES in ...
AWAREWOLF & Other Crhymes Against Humanity for kindle, tablet, smartphone or e-reader, at Amazon: http://amzn.to/1KvkAmb

blog: Pandemonium for Dummies http://cosmicrapture.blogspot.com/

--------------------------------------------------------------------

IMAGE:
'Arbeit macht frei' is a German phrase meaning 'Work shall set you free' found above the entrances to a number of N**i concentration camps during World War II. More than 70 years later, almost everyone is an inmate of the global concentration camp of modern human culture.

Work doesn't make us free, it enslaves us. A person at work is a person with no identity. Ze is not a person, just a uniform, a suit. A person at work has no mind of zer own, no brains, no head. As the painting suggests, the body of a person at work ends at the neck.

The corporatisation of human life and culture proceeds at an accelerating rate. One of the results is the destruction of our humanity itself. Another is the destruction of the planet.

A person at work is a psychopath with no personal values, just a fake but hearty enthusiasm for the values of the corporation. Every morning, when we walk into the workplace, we leave our personal values at the door. We're all psychopaths, these days, or sociopaths if you're into labels. We repress and suppress our personhood, our empathy, at the behest of the employer. That's why there are cruel red eyes in the lapels of a pin-striped suit. They are the insane eyes of one who has lost zer personhood.

And yet, as Jesus is said to have said, "Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin. And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these."

And here we are, 2000 years later, toiling and spinning for dear life, and not liking it very much at all.

Painting by SRS, oils on board, 54.5 x 74.5 cm.

====================================================

eBooks by Cosmic Rapture http://amzn.to/1NUDM7H
(for kindle, tablet, smartphone or e-reader.)

NIGHTMERRIES: THE LIGHTER SIDE OF DARKNESS. http://amzn.to/1NUwTDp This so-called "book" will chew you up, spit you out, and leave you twitching and frothing on the carpet. More than 60 dark and feculent fictions (read ‘em and weep) copiously and grotesquely illustrated.

AWAREWOLF & OTHER CRHYMES AGAINST HUMANITY (Vot could be Verse?). http://amzn.to/1KvkAmb We all hate poetry, right? But we might make an exception for this sick and twisted stuff. This devil's banquet of adults-only offal features more than 50 satanic sonnets, vitriolic verses and odious odes.

MANIC MEMES & OTHER MINDSPACE INVADERS. http://amzn.to/1X9r644 A disturbing repository of quirky quotes, sayings, proverbs, maxims, ponderances, adages and aphorisms. This menagerie holds no fewer than 184 memes from eight meme-species perfectly adapted to their respective environments.

MASTRESS & OTHER TWISTED TAILS. http://amzn.to/1K3bqxe An unholy corpus of oddities, strangelings, bizarritudes and peculiaritisms, including but not limited to barbaric episodes of herring-flinging and kipper-kissing. A cacklingly bizarre read that may induce fatal hysteria. Not Recommended!

FIENDS & FREAKS http://amzn.to/1QL5KYb and serpents, dragons, devils, lobsters, anguished spirits, hungry ghosts, hell-beings, zombies, organ-grinders, anti-gods, gods and other horse-thieves you wouldn't want to meet in a dark cosmos. Immature Content! Adults Maybe.

HAGS TO HAGGIS. http://amzn.to/1KviJ0M An obnoxious folio featuring a puke of whiskey-soaked war-nags, witches, maniacs, manticores and escapegoats. Not to mention (please don't!) debottlenecking and desilofication, illustrated. Take your brain for a walk on the wild side. Leave your guts behind.

blog: Pandemonium for Dummies http://cosmicrapture.blogspot.com/

--------------------------------------------------------------------

footlong and fancy-free: why size doesn't matter

FOOTLONG AND FANCY-FREE: WHY SIZE DOESN'T MATTER

No energy? No matter!

Zero, zip, nada, none: that's how much is left after you turn matter into energy, via a bomb or a power station. But what kind of power station is best? It's actually impossible to say.

I’ve heard that coal-fired power stations are dirty, wind-farms are ugly, and nuclear power stations are dangerous (but much more efficient at producing energy).

Do you agree? I don’t, and I’ll provide the supporting logic in a minute. But first let’s unpack the conventional wisdom and hold it up to the light until it withers and dies!

Power stations are designed to transform matter into energy, or one form of energy into another. If you’ve got nothing better to do, you can use Einstein’s equation, E=MC2, to work out the energy equivalent of the mass of any given chunk of matter. The equation says that energy (E) equals mass (M) multiplied by the speed of light (C) squared.

I’ve heard that the reason why you get so much energy via nuclear processes is that the speed of light (squared) is such a big number. Really?

Light travels at roughly 186,000 miles per second. Squaring 186,000 yields 34,596,000,000, which is a big number, (or so they say, and yet in billions it's really only just over 34, a mere two digits!)

But let’s see what happens when we choose different units.

In kilometres per second, the speed of light squared is roughly 90,000,000,000 – even bigger than 34,596,000,000. But in parsecs -- a unit of distance beloved by astronomers and cosmologists – light travels way less than 1 measly parsec per second.

So light travels further and faster on 1 tank of kilometres than it travels on 1 tank of miles or 1 tank of parsecs, unleaded or leaded. And 1 is a small number; in fact it's the smallest (positive integer) there is.

Ignore the previous paragraph. It’s not even wrong. Light travels exactly the same distance at the same speed in miles per second as in kilometres per hour, parsecs per week or any other units or combinations thereof.

The same applies to anything that can be measured: distance, mass, gravity, acceleration, volume, density, momentum, rotation, energy etc. What you measure is not affected by the units you use. How you calibrate your measuring instrument does not dictate the outcome of your measurement. A 12-inch hotdog is just as long as a foot-long!

Now light may be fast, but it may not be the fastest thing in the universe. (Alternatively: Light may be fast now, but may not always have been or will be as fast). Physicists think there may be sub-atomic particles that travel faster than light (e.g. the particle known as the tachyon). But even if it's true that light is the fastest thing in the universe, it may not be the fastest thing there is. And likewise, the shortest plank may be shorter elsewhere and elsewhen. Such as in other universes, other times, other dimensions.

According to the eggheads, it's not impossible there are universes other than the one in which we live and love. They say it's not impossible for the speed of light to be faster or slower in another universe than it is in this one. So the numerical value of a so-called constant may not in fact be constant, but rather variable! And terms such as “fast” and “fastest” (not to mention “constant”) are not meaningful unless the relative context is absolutely tightly defined.

If there are shorter planks than the shortest plank, and faster speeds than the fastest speed, then there’s no such thing as shortest or fastest. Nothing is absolutely fast or slow or long or short or dense or diffuse or hot or cold or large or small. Size doesn't matter: it's how you measure it that counts. The only absolute is Everything (cap E, one word), and every thing else is relative, including the size of numbers such as 90 billion, which is

> larger than the number of days in the week, but

> smaller than the number of stars in the Milky Way galaxy (estimated at 400 billion), and

> dwarfed by the estimated 5,000,000,000,000,000 ants (5 quadrillion, short scale) on Earth alive at any one time.

IMHO, absolute comparisons between different methods of producing energy can never be meaningful because they’re not engauged (physics joke: an oxymoron if ever there was one). It's difficult if not impossible to find common ground on which to base the comparison. For example, say you wanted to compare the energy you can get from a coal-fired power plant with the energy you can get from a nuclear power plant. Would you base the comparison on

> mass (e.g. 1 kg of coal vs 1 kg of uranium), or

> volume (e.g. 1 cubic metre of coal vs 1 cubic metre of uranium), or

> density (e.g. the number of coal molecules in one cubic metre vs the number of uranium molecules in one cubic metre), or

> number (e.g. 100 truckloads of coal vs 100 truckloads of uranium, or 100 molecules of coal vs 100 molecules of uranium), or

> financial costs (startup) (of building a coal-fired power plant vs the cost of building a nuclear power plant), or

> financial costs (ongoing, of running the plant, including repairs and maintenance), or

> ”externalities” (e.g. impact on the environment, the community, social/political institutions), or

> various different combinations (please specify) of the above, or

> all of the above, or

> none of the above, but rather something else entirely (please specify)?

I don't know whether you would get more or less energy from burning coal in a coal-fired power plant than you would get from applying nuclear processes to the same amount of coal. I don't know if it's even currently technically possible, in theory let alone practice, to get energy by splitting or joining the nuclei of atoms in the coal molecule.

But whether it’s in the form of coal, gas, oil, water, uranium, plutonium, einsteinium, californium, damp carpet or camel dung, matter is a key ingredient in many recipes for cooking up energy. In energy matters, matter matters. Maybe that's because matter IS energy IS matter.

And you can of course get usable energy without matter. Hydroelectric power installations, for example, convert the potential energy of dammed water into electrical energy. (Only dammed water can be used to produce energy; holy water is too placid.) On a personal level, the energy you expend on ...

CONTINUES at
http://cosmicrapture.blogspot.com.au/2017/01/footlong-and-fancy-free-why-size-doesnt.html

IMAGE
Joule's apparatus for measuring the mechanical equivalent of heat energy. A descending weight attached to a string causes a paddle immersed in water to rotate. Caption by Wikipedia, 6 May 2014.

cosmicrapture.blogspot.com Essays on spirituality, personhood, pantheism, consciousness, cosmology, pandemonium, Armageddon, eschaton. Many dark wicked fictions. Vogon Crhymes.

THE CONSERVATION OF CRAP

Most critters including humans get their get-up-and-go from the stuff they eat and drink. And they get stuff to eat and drink by using their get-up-and-go to hunt or fish or harvest crops or stroll to the nearest McDonalds.

Scientists say you can’t create or destroy get-up-and-go. You can only change it into a different form of get-up-and-go, or into stuff.

Likewise, they say you can’t make new stuff or get rid of existing stuff, you can only change it into other stuff or into get-up-and-go. For example, you can’t get rid of a McDonalds, you can only change it into stuff.

By now you’re thinking this post is just a load of reprocessed burger. You’re probably snarling into your thickshake, “who says you can't make new stuff or get rid of existing stuff?”

“Says the Law!”

“What frickin’ law?” ...

*... CONTINUES at:*
http://cosmicrapture.blogspot.com.au/2017/01/the-law-of-conservation-of-crap.html
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cosmic Rapture's blog (Pandemonium for Dummies)
http://cosmicrapture.blogspot.com.au/

Welcome to the end times. Humankind stares into the abyss and snaps a selfie. Epic essays on personhood, pantheism, consciousness, cosmology and culture. Plus a horde of wicked fictions, short and sharp as shots of bad whiskey, and a sackful of Vogon crhymes (vot could be verse?).

https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-t6k5QX_3ifg/WG7qhqHOHTI/AAAAAAAAVcg/mlEOIfzaEX8T_SzRxSYnvrO9sQLXQTzWQCLcB/s320/earthtoilet3.gif

DREAMTIME: THE DE-FLATTENING

In the Dreamtime before time and space the Great Serpent Koniara slithered and thrashed mightily, creating the Land of Oz, the Sky above, and the Sea that washed its shores. And when his mighty slithering was done, Koniara called a great Corroboree to honour his creation.

Among those who came to the Corroboree was the scaly crocodile, Gumungung, who spake unto Koniara, saying, “O Great One, what thee or thou have wrought is awesome and immense, but there is no colour, no excitement, no magic or joy in the Land. As far as the eye can see, all is red and brown and flat as a toenail. And that’s more dull and boring than a pub with no beer. And newsflash: it’s also way too frickin’ hot!”

“My sacred doings be not to thy satisfaction,” quoth Koniara unto Gumungung, “and yet I made the whole ball of wax in just two days not six, and I didn’t need to chuck a sickie on the seventh neither.”

“More elbow grease maybe, that might have helped,” quoth Kuruku the Kookaburra, whose laughter rang out long and loud in the dry and beerless air.

“Don’t you come the raw prawn with me,” spake Koniara unto Kuruku, waxing full wroth and dry-throated to the max, “Fair dinkum, mate. Hard yakka? I been flat out like a lizard drinking, for sure!”

“Pull the other one, it’s got bells on it,” laughed Kuruku, his merriment boomeranging into the Great Serpent’s heart of hearts, which lay pulsing somewhere between the eighty third and ninety sixth rib of the lengthy Koniara.

Now Koniara hearkened unto the words of the laughing one and the scaly one. Rising up as high as he could upon his rib-full loops, he looked out upon his creation and found it wanting.

So Koniara made the Great Rock Uluru, the shapely Olgas, and all the hills and plains, yea, and escarpments too he wrought.

Then Koniara quoth unto Gumungung and Kuruku, thuswise, saying, “Youse have spake ye whinges, and ye have whined ye whinings. Therefore have I de-flattened the Land, which now lays before ye strewn with humps and hillocks and shapely stones and boulders to delight the eye…”

“Well that’s as much good as t**s on ...

CONTINUES at:
http://cosmicrapture.blogspot.com.au/2016/12/dreamtime-de-flattening.html

IMAGE:
Supposedly the biggest monolithic rock on the planet, "Uluru, ... also known as Ayers Rock ... is a large sandstone rock formation in ... central Australia. ... Kata Tjuta, also called Mount Olga or the Olgas, lies 25 km (16 mi) west of Uluru." (Wikipedia, 2 Dec. 2016)
Animation combines photograph of Uluru by Mark Gray (markgray dot com dot au) and bark painting of rainbow serpent by John Mawurndjul.

===============================================
eBooks by Cosmic Rapture http://amzn.to/1NUDM7H
(for kindle, tablet, smartphone or e-reader.)

NIGHTMERRIES: THE LIGHTER SIDE OF DARKNESS. http://amzn.to/1NUwTDp This so-called "book" will chew you up, spit you out, and leave you twitching and frothing on the carpet. More than 60 dark and feculent fictions (read ‘em and weep) copiously and grotesquely illustrated.

AWAREWOLF & OTHER CRHYMES AGAINST HUMANITY (Vot could be Verse?). http://amzn.to/1KvkAmb We all hate poetry, right? But we might make an exception for this sick and twisted stuff. This devil's banquet of adults-only offal features more than 50 satanic sonnets, vitriolic verses and odious odes.

MANIC MEMES & OTHER MINDSPACE INVADERS. http://amzn.to/1X9r644 A disturbing repository of quirky quotes, sayings, proverbs, maxims, ponderances, adages and aphorisms. This menagerie holds no fewer than 184 memes from eight meme-species perfectly adapted to their respective environments.

MASTRESS & OTHER TWISTED TAILS. http://amzn.to/1K3bqxe An unholy corpus of oddities, strangelings, bizarritudes and peculiaritisms, including but not limited to barbaric episodes of herring-flinging and kipper-kissing. A cacklingly bizarre read that may induce fatal hysteria. Not Recommended!

FIENDS & FREAKS http://amzn.to/1QL5KYb and serpents, dragons, devils, lobsters, anguished spirits, hungry ghosts, hell-beings, zombies, organ-grinders, anti-gods, gods and other horse-thieves you wouldn't want to meet in a dark cosmos. Immature Content! Adults Maybe.

HAGS TO HAGGIS. http://amzn.to/1KviJ0M An obnoxious folio featuring a puke of whiskey-soaked war-nags, witches, maniacs, manticores and escapegoats. Not to mention (please don't!) debottlenecking and desilofication, illustrated. Take your brain for a walk on the wild side. Leave your guts behind.

https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PhAu9t_TfkI/WEDIcXAacvI/AAAAAAAAVZk/GTtRL76ocMwh7YTfN1XxX2z2vRvwkxHYwCLcB/s320/uluru3.gif

2.bp.blogspot.com