YEG Family Counselling

Exciting news. I have a NEW office space, furnished by me. I am still offering online sessions mainly but in person masked sessions are an option again!

Rebecca Bonham is a fabulous new addition to the YEG FC team and is now offering sessions for significantly reduced rates!

Rebecca is a second-year student in the Master of Psychotherapy and Spirituality (MPS) program at St Stephen’s College in Edmonton. She has five years of experience as a spiritual care practitioner and hospital chaplain, providing compassionate support to people who are wrestling with questions of meaning and purpose as they navigate suffering, grief, and loss.

​Find out more info at www.yegfamilycounselling.com/about

Oh, hello there, it's been a while, and this is why. Baby number three came along in mid December, and prior to that I was busy having a pretty tough pregnancy. I'm currently on maternity leave until April, but I'm hoping to still pop in here from time to time! In addition, I have some exciting news coming soon that will expand YEG Family Counselling's ability to support folks who are struggling right now.

People of Colour, I can't even begin to imagine the anguish and rage inside of you as you watch current events unfold. I am beginning to realize the ways my silence has contributed to the perpetuation of violence against people of colour. I am so sorry for the ways I have been complicit in furthering the suffering of your community.

I will tell you that I will commit to learning from people of colour about what I can do.

I will commit to reaching out to the people of colour in my circles to see how they are and how I can help.

I will commit to reading and listening to the voices who are leading the way to justice.

I will commit to speaking out in large and small forums when I see injustice even when it may cost me.

And finally, I will commit to continually checking in with myself and my privilege to make further confessions, because I know I won't get this all right.

Please, if you feel you can, Forgive me.

I snapped my fingers, and all of a sudden, this girl was five. Being her mom is one of the best and hardest jobs I have ever had. I always say that I am a parenting expert... until I get home! I don't always know how to parent my kids and even when I do know what to do, I don't always do it. That being said, I also know that it's the little moments that matter most. Those are the ones that kids remember.

Hang in there, parents, and happy birthday to my monkey.

More specifically, I have the privilege of letting myself shut down when I get flooded.

I let my overwhelm keep me quiet and comfortable, turning off the news and licking my own wounds.

I am so ashamed.

This one hurts. I have worked in many different organizations, and in every single one I have witnessed systems that sneakily or overtly favour white folks over black and indigenous ones.

I have seen this, and I have spoke out to my friends of colour, telling them this is not ok, that I see it, that they need to speak up.

This wasn't enough. I haven't done anything meaningful to make change in these organizations.

I am so ashamed.

A little reading about this morning with my favourite bookmark made just for me a good friend. It reminds me of my favourite things... Coffee and the forest. Even better if it's coffee in the forest with a friend . 🌳☕☕🌲

I have hidden behind the excuse that I want people of colour to speak up for themselves. I know that I cannot speak for BIPOC, but I have stayed silent using this excuse because I have been afraid of being called out, corrected, or shamed.

I have made this about me.

I am so ashamed.

Summer for me means less makeup, more time with family, less striving, more time outdoors. What is the best part of summer for you?

The topic of race is a lighting rod for defensiveness from white folks. No one wants to admit that there is systemic racism because, hello, we are all a part of those systems. ⁠
⁠
Friends, I have often failed to advocate for you because I didn't want to p**s people off, or start up facebook fights with my husband's dad's sister's cousin-in-law, or even worse, an acquaintance or friend right in front of me. ⁠
⁠
I have too often chosen to protect my own discomfort and the discomfort of those around me over the human rights of people on the margins. ⁠
⁠
I am so ashamed.⁠
⁠

Just a friendly reminder from a fellow human.

Repost: #📷

I have failed. I'm admitting it. Read the shameful truth on my latest blog.



https://www.yegfamilycounselling.com/post/white-hesitation

🏳️‍🌈
Those who know me well know that I am an obsessive knitter and a huge Harry Potter fan. Last fall for Halloween I knit myself this Harry Potter themed fair isle sweater, which goes to show my committment to both of the above. I will be honest and say that I have always been wary of JK Rowling's lack of diversity in her characters, but have made mental excuses for her over the years. I'm not proud of this.

I have thus been angered by her overt, hateful, transphobic comments in the last few weeks.

I want my q***r and trans friends and neighbours to know that I care how you are right now in the world. I am especially thinking of trans people of colour. ♥️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤

I still love this sweater and will continue to wear it, as the pattern profits go to a fantastic artist, . I also have in my plans to make another version using Pride and Trans Pride colours. I will no longer spend any of my money on JK Rowling or the Harry Potter franchise.

I have been AWOL on here for various life reasons... But this time is too important to keep silent. All I will say here for now is that I am heartbroken again. And still.

Anxiety exists for a reason. It is our nervous system's desperate attempt to try and make sense of our circumstances. In unprecedented situations such as we are experiencing in the world right now....

A global pandemic, millions of deaths...

Economies opening up...

The gain or loss of work and family connections and community....

Anxiety only makes sense. Do your best to befriend your anxiety, be gentle with it, try to understand it and empathize with it.

Because guess what? Your anxiety is the part of you that probably has a keen sense of what you need.

Remember, if you aren't coping. Well, reach out to a family member, a friend, or a counsellor for support. We are all in this together. 💛✨

One thing that I'm grateful for in the midst of this pandemic is increased togetherness with people across the country. My family and I have a weekly zoom date now that spans four time zones. It's something we have never done before even though the technology has been around forever... We just have never thought to do it! I am definitely tired of seeing everyone on zoom, I am missing seeing the faces of my clients and friends in 3d... But I'm grateful for technology that keeps us connected in spite of all of this crazy.

I'm not a big believer in the idea of co-dependency. Neuroscience tells us that we need each other. It is good and healthy to need others, even to need them desperately.
If you sometimes think that the work "co-dependent" might fit for you or someone you know, put on your attachment glasses and ask, "What am I afraid of, and what am I longing for?" I think that honest answers to these questions might just make sense of that "co-dependent" behaviour in light of deep unmet needs.
If you're curious to know more about this, or need a reframe of your marriage through an attachment lens, take a look at my blog on attachment cycles.

https://www.yegfamilycounselling.com/post/the-eft-cycle

YEG Family Counselling has reached 100 likes in under a week! Thank you for your support, friends!

It's the dreaded "S Word"... SCREENTIME!! Spoiler alert... this blog will give you my very professional opinion (backed by research) that screentime is not the very worst thing in the whole entire world. In fact, it can be really good for you and your kids. Read on, and hang in there, parents!

Quarantined with Kids: When Screen Time is Sanity Time Raise your hand if any of these sound like the reality of your life right now: You are at home in isolation. You are bombarded all day every day with the needs of the small (and larger) people around you. You are overwhelmed. You get to the end of your rope a LOT more quickly than usual. You need a....

I had a great weekend on Zoom with some wonderful colleagues for my fourth weekend intensive in Emotionally Focused Therapy. What a joy and a privilege. This training has gotten me so excited to continue my work with my clients focusing on attachment and relational patterns. If you know of anyone who could use some support, I am offering a sliding scale rate during COVID-19 for couples and families.

While in isolation, try to remember that this isn't a normal state of affairs. We need each other. Especially those closest to us, like our partners, parents, and siblings. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to need others right now. Their secret is that they need you just as much.⁠

Have some fun! (Or at least trick your kids into thinking you are having fun) by trying a bingo schedule. Make some squares mandatory and others optional each day. Encourage your kiddos to connect with others, get outside, and maybe even leave you alone a bit!

You're working from home, trying to parent, and if you're lucky, you might even squeeze in a meal or two in the day.

The last thing I want to do is add another thing to your heaping plate of responsibilities. But here's what I know:
A simple routine, when done in a playful way, will help your kids cope, which may just keep you from going insane.

I did my laundry this weekend and the pile is already huge again. This staying at home thing is NOT for the faint of heart! Hang in there, humans. You are not alone.

Try a new thing! Feel your feelings. It might the the first time that you have time and space to do so.

Allow yourself to feel it hun ❤️⁠ ⁠ 🎨@annecarly.mm⁠ ⁠ ⁠🗣❤️If you're finding it difficult to manage your emotions or struggling with self-love, anxiety and/or depression and you know this is holding you back from the life you actually want to live then send me an email to get more info about how we can work together. ⁠ ⁠ Email: [email protected]⁠ ⁠ 🗣❤️Tag a friend too, lets spread some easy therapy⁠ *⁠ *⁠ *⁠ *⁠ ⁠⁠#anxiety #copewithanxiety⁠ #goals⁠ #achieveyourgoals ⁠ #dontgiveupquotes⁠ #londonpsychologist⁠ #psychologist #cuteillustration⁠ #motivationalquoteoftheday⁠ #therapymemes⁠ #selfhelper⁠ #therapyquotes⁠ #positiveqoutes⁠ #MentalHealthAwarenessmonth⁠ #mentalhealthadvocate⁠ #unhook⁠ #mentalhealblogger #dontjudge⁠ #mentalhealthtips #positivity⁠ #positivequotestoday #therapistproblems ⁠ #negativethoughts #anxiety⁠ #thinking #mentalhealthadvocate⁠ #mindfulness⁠ #mentalhealth⁠ #myeasytherapy #Easytherapy

New blog post! It's a tough time to be a parent. What's your best tool to help you kids through this time? Your SELF. I am a big need when it comes to nervous systems. Read on to hear my best (brief) thoughts on surviving the quarantine and co-regulating those small humans of yours.

https://www.yegfamilycounselling.com/blog

You're not alone. Seriously. Just ask around. Hang in there, parents!

While we are all stuck inside, things with our partners can become stressful. Learn about how your interactions, even negative ones, are totally normal under stress.
https://www.yegfamilycounselling.com/post/the-eft-cycle