Ho'oponopono Swiss

Stell dir vor, dein Lieblingsbaum im Garten kränkelt und trägt kaum mehr Früchte. Du bittest die vier besten Gärtner der Gegend um Rat. Der erste Gärtner sagt, der Baum brauche mehr Mineralstoffe. Er düngt darum den Boden. Der zweite Gärtner ortet das Problem im Wuchs und schneidet den Baum in Form. Der dritte Gärtner richtet seine Aufmerksamkeit auf das Wetter und erklärt, der trockene Sommer sei schuld....

Mit Mut und aus der Kraft des Herzens leben! Stell dir vor, dein Lieblingsbaum im Garten kränkelt und trägt kaum mehr Früchte. Du bittest die vier besten Gärtner der Gegend um Rat. Der erste Gärtner sagt, der Baum brauche mehr Mineralstoffe. …

Ho‘oponopono wie es heute, in der modernen Version, oft gelebt wird. 🥲😂

😂😉😎

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"I go lick you!"
Is physically beating your keiki the "Hawaiian way?"

Please take a little time to read this eye-opening manaʻo shared by cultural historian and researcher Adam Keawe Manalo-Camp:

Traditional Hawaiian parenting was far different than what is practiced today. Too often the term "I go lick you!" is used in Hawaiian households. I know of stories from the previous generation where a Hawaiian child would be caned and/or whipped and then salt or vinegar would be thrown on the wound and they called that the "Hawaiian way". Torturing children in the name of "discipline" was not the Hawaiian way.

Traditionally, Hawaiians kids spent more of their time with their grandparents than their actual parents. This allowed knowledge to be passed down directly. Hawaiian children under the age of 8 were in general taught manners, etiquette, polite behavior, values, and the mo'olelo of their ancestors.

Polite behavior and manners was thought of as the first steps towards learning a trade and living within a community--not unlike our Polynesian cousins and the Japanese way of education. That is also a key point--living within a community and how to behave within a community as a part of child development. They were allowed to play around and encouraged to learn by modeling their elders.

Discipline normally came in terms of explaining and admonishing behaviors through words. Hawaiians had a process of exclusion (hoʻomū) when it came to children who consistently misbehaved but that was after discussions with a priest and after a change in diet, exercise and massaging. Hawaiians believed that kids could change their behavior if that energy could be discussed with experts, diets changed, that energy could be massaged out and healed.

Hitting, spanking, slapping and caning a child were considered kapu because a child especially under 8 years old was considered to still be spiritually directly linked to the deceased ancestors. One can not slap one's ancestors therefore one can not slap a child. As a child grew older, past 8, other methods were used to "discipline" the child mostly assigning him/her to projects such as building walls or paths. In worst case scenarios, exclusion was used.

Children of the kahuna class in addition to value-formation would be given games to enhance their memories. Practicing oration and memorizing chants would begin around age 6 and continue for the rest of the lives. Some islands had special kahuna schools as well where children between the ages of 8 to 13 could be sent to learn.

Children of the ali'i were normally at some point around age 6 transferred to a pālama, a type of fort like school where they would begin their training in politics, war, history, as well as the martial arts. Sometimes the children of the kahuna would also attend. But before attending the pālama, children of the aliʻi were also "disciplined" in the same ways as the common children.

What radically changed Hawaiian child rearing was the Calvinist missionaries--and their impact still continues. The Calvinist missionaries brought with them ideas that children were "little adults" and introduced corporal punishment. The "I go lick you" or "I go paʻi your mouth" or the notion that physically abusing a child in order to discipline the child has no basis in pre-Contact Hawaiian culture.

We also know that Māori (https://teara.govt.nz/en/nga-matua-maori-parenting) and Tahitian child rearing and underlining ideas were almost the same as Hawaiian so that confirms that these principles were very ancient and ingrained to our ancestors before the missionaries came with their "spare the rod, spoil the child" and "idle hands are the Devilʻs play things" mentality.
That missionary way of thought and that systemic violence that many of our kūpuna faced in their own lives, they brought it into their homes. Thatʻs something we must decolonize ourselves.

Mahalo nui e Adam Keawe Manalo-Camp for sharing these invaluable insights!

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Wie wahr. 🙂

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