Jenny Stapleton

Recently I've been watching The Mindy Project (I know very late, and Never Have I Ever is SO much better).

They've been showing Mindy's boyfriend, Danny, struggling with commitment and marriage.

As his parents are divorced, and he's been through his own divorce, he struggles to make that commitment to Mindy. Even though he's fully committed to her.

He's in a long term, committed relationship. But struggles with taking the next step.

And you know what - I can relate!

As can many children of divorce.

When all you've seen around you is divorce, it can be hard to make those commitments.

Do you struggle with commitment? Let me know in the comments...

Just back from a trip to Kefalonia which was healing in more ways than one 🥹🌊🐬🧜🏽‍♀️🐢💜🙏🏽

I'll be sharing more on how it healed me - and how I can connect you with the energies to help you too - stay tuned!.

I still do this - taking (at least) 3 pieces of rubbish each time I go for a walk.

It's a quick and easy way to help nature and it's beautiful beings 🌏🐢🪻🐬🌻🐳🌲

I invite you to give it a go this and every day 💜💛🙏🏼

Christmas time when your parents are divorced, can be challenging.

- Having to choose who to spend Christmas with can feel like taking sides
-Going between parents
- Never having all your loved ones in the same room
- Feeling guilty for not spending the day with one parent, especially if they are alone

Growing up people probably told you that you were lucky that you had two Christmas and double the amount of presents 🎁

But you would've preferred to have a 'normal' family.

As an adult you still have to deal with these things.

And when you add in in laws it can get even trickier.

We used to have Christmas day with our mum and Boxing day was second Christmas with our dad. Now we are scattered around the country so second Christmas is usually around NYE.

How do you navigate the holidays as an adult with divorced parents? Let me know in the comments 👇🏼

Two years (and a few days) since I caught COVID and started my CFS journey.

Posting a few days late as I was busy recovering from my workshop the day before and recording a podcast episode, and that alone shows how far I've come!! 🙌🏼

It's been a year of healing and progress, which hasn't been easy, especially with moving house twice. But it was so worth it to be back by the sea 🌊 and in our own home 💕. I keep doing things I wasn't able to do before. I'm not 100% but I've come so far.

From being housebound, and before that sofa bound, I've been getting out locally and building up my window of tolerance. And I've made so much progress. I have a star chart and add a star each time I make progress. I had to start a second chart as my first one is full! And I'm almost half way through my second!

Alongside that I've been working on my soul vision and clearing the many blocks I had, such as speaking.

I've been healing my inner child from my parents difficult divorce when I was a child, with my own unique method that came to me in my meditations and downloads. 🌸 And now I've started to share that with others too. 💜

I still have some way to go. As my friend said to me recently, there is light at the end of the tunnel but it's a really long tunnel. But if I look back at how far I've come I'm so greatful.

If you are reading this and struggling too, healing is not easy but you can get there and it's so worth it! 💜💛✨.
.E.

Do you feel like a scared child inside?

Do you lack confidence and feel shy?

Do you feel like everyone else is a 'proper adult', with much more confidence and success, even if they are younger than you?

Are you fearful about life?

Do you lie in bed at night worrying, playing scenarios out in your head?

Do you feel unsafe?

If you answered yes to any of the above, I made this workshop for you!

I will guide you to lovingly connect with your inner child to give them nurturing and a sense of what it means to feel safe.

We will have a special tea party with the energies of flowers, both cosmic and earthly.

Flowers all have their unique and powerful energies, and by working with them we can take on those energies too. The flowers we are working with will bring a deeper sense of safety than you may have experienced previously, as this is the first step to inner child healing.

I discovered these amazing cosmic and earthly flower frequencies in my mediations and downloads and that when we make them into etheric tea, they create amazing effects.

I’ve been using them on myself for the past year, to heal from my parents difficult divorce when I was a child. Having worked with many different practitioners and approaches over ten or more years, I found nothing worked for me, until I found my own unique healing method.

I’ve been using the techniques every day, when I first started my inner child was crying all the time and felt very frightened and unsafe, now whenever I visit her, she is happy and wanting to play.

This has allowed me to grow feel safe to set boundaries, be able to create a deeper sense of commitment in my romantic relationship, something I always struggled with, and have a deep sense of safety. Other people I’ve tried it on have had similar experiences – going from shy and unhappy to smiley and playful in just one session.

Now this is your chance to be the first to benefit from these powerful frequencies too, in my new workshop. Join me tomorrow, 10 Dec, at 3pm GMT.

Once your inner child feels safe, they will become more playful, and you will be able to walk through life with less fear and feel more in control of your life. You will feel stronger and safe to be yourself.

🌸 DM for the link to join 🌸

Do you feel like a scared child inside? 👶🏽

I did for all of my life.

If you do you may feel like everyone else has life figured out.

👶🏽 That they know more than you.

👶🏽 That they are better than you.

👉🏼 More confident
👉🏼 More self assured
👉🏼 More of an adult - even if they are younger than you.

You may push that part of you that feels like a scared child deep down inside yourself.

Try and hide them.

And feel shame around feeling like that. 😔

But that inner child needs love, and nurturing. 🫂 💕

And with time they will begin to grow, and you'll feel less afraid.

Does this resonate with you?

I've got something exciting coming soon to help with this, with Trudy Marie Williams and Marta Polinelli
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸.
-love

Growing up as a child with a parent who doesn't know how to regulate thier emotions.

I hated crying. I'd push it deep down inside of me, until it all piled up and couldn't be contained anymore.

Then I'd have a huge outburst, sobbing way more than the event that triggered it. And people would say, wow, you're so upset over that one small tning, but no it was from all the things I'd tried not to cry over and pushed down before.

This is often a generational cycle.

Growing up with a parent who doesn't know how to regulate their emotions, who is often in thier child state - because thier parents were also in thier child state and so on through the generations.

I'm here to break the cycles.

Anyone who knows me now, knows I cry a lot. I'm sensitive. I care. A lot. So I feel a lot.

But I now know how to sit with my feelings. To feel them. And let them move through me.

If you also don't like crying or feeling your feelings, pushing them down inside and avoiding them feels like the best option.

But you can't avoid them forever. Its a necessary part of life. A release.

Its like they say about burps- better out than in 😆.

This weekend talking to a friend brought up a memory of my experience as a child going between my parents after thier divorce.

She said that she thought people who beep when they are outside in thier car, to collect someone, is rude. 🚗

And it reminded me, how my parents refused any contact with the other.

To the point that when one came to collect me from the others house, they weren't allowed to ring the doorbell!

They had to sit outside and beep.

And when I was older, they'd text me that they are parked round the corner. Because, heaven forbid one would look out the window and get a glimpse of the other.

This is just one of the examples of what I mean by a difficult divorce and how it impacts the children.

Have you experienced similar?

Let me know in the comments 👇🏽.

In last nights Trudy Marie Williams full moon in Pisces session, we were reflecting on our soul successes over the past year.

And wow, I've come so far. ✨️✨️✨️

This time last year, I was still quite new to this and was struggling physically which was impacting me mentally too.

I've learnt so much.

I've connected to my source of divine power, learning so many tools like being an alchemist, body testing and being an energetic eminator. I've learnt I am so powerful. I have daily conversations with my spirit guides, and connect to other souls and beings.

As I wasn't up to doing much, I spent a lot of time in meditation and honing these skills.

I've stepped onto my life path and learnt my souls great vision to help people who's parents had a difficult divorce when they were a child, with the energies of flowers and nature 🌹 🌸 🏵 🌼

I came to Trudy to help with my Chronic Fatigue. And I got SO much more than that!
Whenever I pulled a card for guidance on my health issues I got that it's happening for me not to me. And now I can definitely see that, as its taught me all of the above and more! 🥹🙏🏼✨️💜✨️.

P.s. Did you spot my feet in the pic?

.E

Emotions are not mutually exclusive -

You can both know that something happened to you for a reason AND feel the sadness and anger of what you went through.

I was discussing this with someone today in relation to our CFS recovery.

When I was really ill whenever I pulled a card for guidance on it, I got its happening FOR me not TO me. ✨️💜

And I know its right - its brought me onto my life path, learnt that I have energy skills, taught me to have boundries and who is meant to be in my life at this time.

I can see why this happened. The lessons I needed and what it's brought me.✨️

But I also feel a lot of sadness and anger over my experiences in that time. And talking to others, they feel the same. Mourning the previous versions of ourselves, the living we missed out on, the people who let us down and those really hard times which we couldn't process at the time.

So I'm here to tell you one doesn't have to be mutually exclusive of the other.

Feel ALLL the feelings, let them pass through you and process them.

Just don't stay there forever - remind yourself when needed of all the things it brought you. 💜✨️💛.

.E.

Learning not to dim to fit in

As a young child our survival depends upon our caregivers. So we do what it takes to be loved and accepted. To be who we're told to be.

As a child of divorce, going between parents, we can find ourselves showing different sides of ourselves depending on what parent we are around.

Often unconsciously we edit ourselves depending on who's around us.

And this is something we bring into adulthood.

It can leave us feeling like we don't know who we truly are. Which if these versions of us is the 'real' one?

Learning to be our authentic selves at all times is incredibly freeing ✨️💖✨️.

As a small child of an emotionally reactive parent, after thier difficult divorce, I didn't feel safe. 👶🏽

As an empath I felt thier pain and tried to comfort them.

Thier emotions were so intense, there wasn't room for mine.

I didn't think about how I felt about the situation. I was solely focused on my parents needs.

This is a totally natural response a lot of young children experience.

As we are reliant on our caregivers to look after us, when something threatens that, our safety is at risk. So unconsciously, we do whatever it takes to ensure our safety and survival.

This is a pattern we bring into adulthood. 🙋🏽‍♀️

And when we see someone upset or in need, we jump to help them. Going above and beyond. Feeling like it's our responsibility.

It's a learned pattern from childhood.

The good news is those patterns can be unlearned. ✨️💜

Do you resonate with this? .

It is safe to love and trust in romantic relationships 🌸💖

This is the message I got from my oracle cards last week.

And it's something I've struggled with my whole life.

As a child of divorce we often don't feel safe to open up and trust, or commit to romantic relationships.

As all we've seen is the negative.

I've been working on this for many years, but this year I've been working on it energetically with the energies of flowers. And the first stage in my program is safety.

It has helped my Inner child feel safe - in a way that she didn't after my parents' difficult divorce.

It is allowing her to feel safe in a romantic relationship. To take steps of further commitment, that previously would love terrified her.

If you too are a child of divorce - you can feel safe. You can commit. You can trust in a romantic relationship. 💖🌸💖.

Picture from our recent glamping trip 🌳🔥✨️

I never identified with being a people pleaser.

I would read about people pleaser and think, phew 😅 that doesn't apply to me.

Oh how wrong I was 🙈🙊

I thought I sufficiently put myself first and had self care.

It was only when I got sick with long covid/Chronic fatigue/M.E., where every tiny thing took so much energy. I'd struggle with basic care like brushing my teeth or to write a text.

When you struggle to do basic tasks you quickly realise allll the ways you are giving your energy away 😐. Where it's not being reciprocated.😐 Where its being wasted.😐

The illness showed me all the ways I put others first. As says it's called M.E. because it's learning to put yourself first.

And it certainly has / is teaching me that -

✨️ I've learnt that it's ok to say no.

✨️To set boundries.

✨️That other people's emotions are not my responsibility.

I've also realised that these behaviours were learnt in my childhood. Through my parents difficult divorce and not having my needs met.

So I'm healing on multiple layers. Learning to say no and have boundaries and healing my inner child 👶🏽💜💛✨️

I'll be sharing more on how I'm doing that soon.
.E.

I've been having a lot of anger come up for me recently.

A lot of bitterness and resentment 🙅🏽‍♀️

Anger is often seen as a bad emotion. But no emotions are bad. As long as you release it and don't hold onto it.

Anger can show you -
🙅🏽‍♀️ where your boundries have been crossed
🙅🏽‍♀️ where your needs haven't been met
🙅🏽‍♀️ Or show you something to let go of.

It's only bad when you hold onto it.

Like crying - it's best,to release it.

Once you let go of it you'll feel much lighter and free. Like this hang glider floating across the sky! 🪂☁️

What do you do to let go of anger?

Took this phone in the park yesterday and it inspired me 💜.

As I started this healing journey I realised that my inner child needed tending to.

She was crying 😭. She felt scared. She felt unsafe. 😣

As a child of divorce your inner child may not feel safe.

Your parents were too busy arguing, fighting and trying to handle thier own emotions 🙅🏽‍♀️. Meaning yours weren't tended to in the way that you needed.

Your inner child is still there. Feeling like that scared helpless child they once were.

Spend time with your inner child, love them, nurture them. Help them to heal 🌸💜.

What's one way you could nurture your inner child?

Growing up a child of my parents difficult divorce. When I'd think of marraige my immediate association was divorce.

I never imagined my ''dream wedding' like those around me and I prided myself on being 'miss independant'.

As a child of divorce it's natural to fear commitment and marriage. To maybe decide its not for you. To not want to go through what they experienced. And have it impact your kids the way it impacted you.

But just because that was your parents experience it doesn't have to be yours. It took me many many years to realise that.

Could you let go of your judgements of the future based on your past experiences?

Hi everyone, I'm Jenny. I'm currently healing myself from my parents difficult divorce when I was a child. I'll be sharing more about how it affected me, including my current Long Covid/CFS/ME, and what I'm going through 💜