Kirstine Weaver: Body Led Alchemy

Scar tissue remediation can be powerful work. The fascia holds memories of the time the scar was created, and softening the tissue allows for those memories to emerge and be released.

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These energies exist within all of us. As a nonbinary person I scoured the internet to try and understand the attributes; defining someone as more masc or more femme did not parse easily to my more neutral sense of self.

And, here's what I discovered in creating this list.

The sacred masculine energy channels from above. It's about being still and listening, receiving from the divine. The sacred feminine energy channels from the earth, from Gaia. It's about being rooted and safe in the body. They both require a connection to the opposite divine energy, to be complete.

The shadows are an important part of the whole. As the capacity for holding the shadows increases, so does the capacity to hold the sacred.

When shadow behaviour shows up, it is a sign that things are out of balance. This balance is obtained not by denying the shadow, but by accessing the opposite sacred energy in some way.

For example, if there's too much aggression, too much drive towards an outcome showing up in your life, it can be an invitation to allow in more flow and connection to Gaia. Taking time to rest, to receive. Dropping down into the body and connecting to the sensations within.

When the shadow feminine shows up it's a sign there isn't a safe enough container to express your needs. But here's the thing; you don't need another person to provide that container. You can create it yourself, by getting clearer with your boundaries. By learning to express your wants, needs and desires.

And, it's often only in understanding these polarities that we can truly break free of them.

Are there quadrants that resonate for you? Are there particular attributes you need support with?

How might I serve you in exploring those?

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"Desire is not what matters. Not “passion”, not “keeping the spark alive”.

Pleasure is what matters.

Center pleasure, because great séx over the long term is not how many orgásms you have or even how enthusiastically you anticipate séx, but how much you like the séx you are having."

I’m a s*x educator. Here’s the biggest myth about desire in long-term relationships It turns out every part of the narrative we’re taught about desire is not merely wrong, but wrongheaded

I'm delighted to be one of the speakers at The Midlife S*x Festival - a free online event for those experiencing perimenopause and menopause. I find interviews a challenge so I was glad to have the experience of taking part. My talk is towards the end of the month.

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A testimonial received from a previous iteration of the workshop I'll be running on Saturday.

Join me, Saturday 16th December in Deptford (SE8) at 10.30am, and discover what transformation might happen for you 💗

Link in bio.

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Santa spotted on the streets of Deptford

Current mantra. The blockages are not where you think they are. This theme has been showing up for me a lot today!

I'm curious, how does this land for you?

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The next edition of The Alchemists book group is with "The Secret Life Of Babies - How Our Prebirth and Birth Experiences Shape Our World" by Mia Kalef

To join or discover more information, follow the link in my bio.

We start on 6th November - no book required until the following week.

It's been a while in the making. Website is now live!

Body Led Alchemy Trauma-informed Certified S*xological Bodyworker helping people of all genders connect to their bodies through the medium of touch, psychoeducation and body focusing with somatic exercises. I support marginalised people in finding the stories contained in their bodies. There can be powerful transfor

This weird and wonderful journey I'm on, guiding people to be utterly themselves, as I uncover more of what it is to be me. This month it's taken me to LA. To a deliciously nourishing dearmouring retreat with Rahi Chun. If you're interested in being part of the next cohort, my affiliate code 'KIRSTINE' will give you $100 off the price of the online course, the first step to attending the next retreat. Link in comments, and linktree.

And here, a 5 Rhythms dance floor gave me the beautiful gift of bringing up and integrating more birth trauma.

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It's official. I'm now a certified Anchored Trauma-Informed Coach & Entrepreneur 💗

This 6 month course with Claire has taught me so much. And I get to revisit it too. If you're a female entrepreneur looking for trauma training for your business do take a look at Anchored.

Huge thanks to for having me at the s*x lectures last week, for a truly alchemic evening 💗

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What are you feeling in your body right now? Can you observe your unconscious breathing? Perhaps you notice your sit bones resting on the chair beneath you, or the effect that gravity is having on your bones. Slowing down enough to notice these everyday occurrences allows us the possibility of really listening to what our body is telling us, about the stories we hold onto of what it is to be human. Our version of human. And in slowing down enough to notice them, sometimes they dissolve.

In a surprise of synchronicity and prescient dreams, it's a delight to welcome Kirstine Weaver - a Certified S*xological Bodyworker who works with people of all genders at the less s*xual end of the s*xuality spectrum.

Kirstine is particularly interested in supporting clients somatically, exploring the beliefs held in their bodies using imagery and metaphor.

Since developing chronic illness after contracting swine flu in 2009, Kirstine's body has taken them on a long journey in learning to listen to the wisdom contained within. They identify as non-binary, use singular they pronouns, and have been diagnosed as autistic and ADD.

In this talk, Kirstine connects with their experiences of s*xuality and ge***al dysphoria. This includes changing some of the stories in their body holding them back from connecting with their gentle low level of s*xuality.

https://youtu.be/0UUP9F7VMq4

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As*xuality - Kirstine Weaver Kirstine is a Certified S*xological Bodyworker who works with people of all genders at the less s*xual end of the s*xuality spectrum. Kirstine is particularl...

A lesser known aspect of S*xological Bodywork is scar tissue remediation, which addresses physical conditions that inhibit s*xual function.

When scar tissue forms, our fascia knits together to heal the wound. This scarring can stay soft if gently massaged by fingers or body movements. However, untreated it often becomes tight and hard. Knitted fascia can travel through the body, creating tension in surprising places. This tightness and tension is reversible.

Scar tissue remediation softens this tissue, and softens the memories around the damage. Perhaps the wound itself was planned, such as in surgery. Perhaps the wound was created by accident. Our bodies hold the memories of these times. I hold space for these memories to emerge and be heard, while I work on the scar tissue.

What stories do your scars hold, that ask to be witnessed and released?

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A recent testimonial from one of my incredible clients 💖

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Folks, someone has cloned my insta account. If you receive a message from kirstine_weaver1 it's not me, please ignore it.

A big thanks to those who alerted me.

I love my work. I get to send photos of soft toys demonstrating s.x positions, sparking joy while sharing information 💗

This work is so powerful. I'd love to be able to reach more people, and know that times are hard for a lot of us right now. I'm offering half price sessions in March if you're able to work with me between 10am and 4pm, both in person and online.

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Winter has been a time of rest, of going within. In the last few days I've felt a stirring in my body to be more visible.

I'm embracing stepping into Spring (see what I did there?) with a series of live streams on my personal page during the month of March. Join me to discover what I'll be talking about. Link in bio.

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I don't want to!

This voice shouts in my head, a tantrum-like energy to it. I am transported back to a much younger version of me than I expect to find. Toddlers, or perhaps playgroup. And not wanting to play with the boys.

Feeling into that place, I connect to a mother soothing me with messages of needing boys to make babies. And in doing so, I notice the relationship escalator dissolve within me.

This was not my story to carry. I don't need to keep running this script.

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I've discovered this podcast about autism and polyvagal theory, coupled with somatic work.

Bottom up healing may feel slow paced in relation to talk therapies, but the progress from such gentle increments can be so rapid, when we learn to get the mind out of the way.

47 | Our Deeper States with Holly Bridges 'We've lost the language of the dorsal state, which our deeper states, our otherness states'. In the third of this series on the Polyvagal theory, we are joined by Holly Bridges who explains its connection to Autism and 'otherness states'. Tune in for a deep dive into bodily states, neuroception, an...

It all began with the paving slab as a seed. Connecting to the body as a daily practice.

Roots growing down into the earth, allowing a tree to form and spread branches, gathering in the light. Yet the land can see this tree can only grow so tall on its own, to be seen by only so many. It wants to help.

A mountain is emerging from within me. One that is not afraid to take up space in this world. Slowly does it. No need to rush. We have all the time in the world. None of this is happening by chance.

Image design by Linda on Printerval. Link in comments.

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When people throw things away that I was planning to use in some way, a curious behaviour comes out. I've been tracking it for a while. I know it belongs to my hoarding mother, from the response I give.

And, my head is able to calm the response down as I observe it. 'This is not you. This comes from your childhood. This is your mother's childhood wound, projected onto you.' And can let it go, getting on with my day.

This time when it came up, it would not clear. I stepped out of my head, and asked my body where it was stored. I expected the heart, or the throat perhaps. Being shouted at. That would make sense, right?

My body was very clear. The head was wrong. A warm fuzzy grey cloud moved through my body and settled over my tailbone.

My butt! I had been hit! In experiencing this awareness, a weight lifted from my body as a download of information was no longer imprinted, and my head murmured 'of course...'.

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Work with me, and we'll find ways to get you out of your head and connecting to the messages in your body. Finding ways to notice them, acknowledge them. Fully feel them. And seek opportunities to release them for good.

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As a newly qualified S*xological Bodyworker I am offering space for 5 clients to work with me in person in Greenwich, London, at the reduced price of £240 for a single 3hr session, £650 for 3x 3hr sessions, or £1020 for 5x 3hr sessions.

I also offer 90 minute online sessions, which are currently priced at £120 for a single session, £325 for 3 sessions, or £510 for a block of 5 sessions.

https://ta**ralink.com/somatic-s*xologists/kirstine-weaver/

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Noticing tension at the thought of writing some words to share with the world.

What are you showing me, tension? Where are you held in my body? Finding tightness in my solar plexus.

Hello, tightness.

I see you. I feel you. Like transparent clingfilm across my middle. Breathing into you. One breath after another. Deep, long breaths. Feeling you stretch.

More spaciousness. Deeper breaths. Watching the clingfilm dissolve into water, like ripples on the surface of a pond.

Sending these ripples outwards.

With love

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Explaining to my tech savvy child how the nervous system can tell you you're in danger even after the danger has passed, because of an incomplete stress cycle. How the body gives the mind a story to explain the danger it's feeling, but this feeling doesn't belong to now.

The metaphor they came up with to represent this and understand it was "like someone spamming messages to you, and it lags because of how many were sent, so you are receiving the messages even after they were sent".

I love how perfect this metaphor is for them, at this moment. Finding the right metaphors can help us make sense of the sensations we experience in our bodies, and let go what's ready to be released.

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Always worthy of a reshare 💖

“Self-care is often a very unbeautiful thing.

It is making a spreadsheet of your debt and enforcing a morning routine and cooking yourself healthy meals and no longer just running from your problems and calling the distraction a solution.

It is often doing the ugliest thing that you have to do, like sweat through another workout or tell a toxic friend you don’t want to see them anymore or get a second job so you can have a savings account or figure out a way to accept yourself so that you’re not constantly exhausted from trying to be everything, all the time and then needing to take deliberate, mandated breaks from living to do basic things like drop some oil into a bath and read Marie Claire and turn your phone off for the day.

A world in which self-care has to be such a trendy topic is a world that is sick. Self-care should not be something we resort to because we are so absolutely exhausted that we need some reprieve from our own relentless internal pressure.

True self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake, it is making the choice to build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from.

And that often takes doing the thing you least want to do.

It often means looking your failures and disappointments square in the eye and re-strategizing. It is not satiating your immediate desires. It is letting go. It is choosing new. It is disappointing some people. It is making sacrifices for others. It is living a way that other people won’t, so maybe you can live in a way that other people can’t.

It is letting yourself be normal. Regular. Unexceptional. It is sometimes having a dirty kitchen and deciding your ultimate goal in life isn’t going to be having abs and keeping up with your fake friends. It is deciding how much of your anxiety comes from not actualizing your latent potential, and how much comes from the way you were being trained to think before you even knew what was happening.

If you find yourself having to regularly indulge in consumer self-care, it’s because you are disconnected from actual self-care, which has very little to do with “treating yourself” and a whole lot do with parenting yourself and making choices for your long-term wellness.

It is no longer using your hectic and unreasonable life as justification for self-sabotage in the form of liquor and procrastination. It is learning how to stop trying to “fix yourself” and start trying to take care of yourself… and maybe finding that taking care lovingly attends to a lot of the problems you were trying to fix in the first place.

It means being the hero of your life, not the victim. It means rewiring what you have until your everyday life isn’t something you need therapy to recover from. It is no longer choosing a life that looks good over a life that feels good. It is giving the hell up on some goals so you can care about others. It is being honest even if that means you aren’t universally liked. It is meeting your own needs so you aren’t anxious and dependent on other people.

It is becoming the person you know you want and are meant to be. Someone who knows that salt baths and chocolate cake are ways to enjoy life – not escape from it.”
-Brianna Wiest
https://ko-fi.com/donate_nepenthe



[Illustration: Yaoyao Ma Van As Art ]

In my work I see the power of connecting to the right metaphors in order to work with them, to transmute them, to find the gold within.

Recently, I was given a cake baking metaphor as a way to explain managing chronic pain. It did not work for me.

All the variables being offered in this baking metaphor were ones I knew how to control; this is not how my pain manifests. In trying to explain how my pain feels, I discovered a different metaphor. One of a paving slab set on a bicycle inner tube with a pipe to regulate the air gap. A simple piece of equipment we used in physics lab at uni to remove the vibrations of the railway line running alongside our lab. Enabling a pendulum to resonate in perfect chaos. If it wasn't used, our readings would contain anomalies.

In describing this, I realised I had found my metaphor. My paving slab. My daily practice. What did I need to put in place to recreate this paving slab in my life, in the constant experiment that is the management of chronic pain?

This is not a metaphor that would work for everyone. I doubt it is one that would spring to mind for many of the people who passed through the labs at UMIST. But for me, in that moment, it landed.

And in doing so, it inspired me to take the next step. To discover if the practice I had intuited that very morning, to connect to my pain before I began my day, could become my daily practice.

Will my pain be my paving slab?

🔥 Watch this space 🔥