AuSends Network

We aren't dealt the same dominoes. It's not necessarily the same dominoes each time. It's not always the same trigger. Sometimes it's multiple triggers

Sometimes we feel it coming and they seem to wobble and fall slowly.
Sometimes we don't and it feels like they all fall in an instant.

But once they have started to topple it takes more and more effort to stop each one.

And the dominoes that fell in the cascade are those all contained in the meltdown. Because each was present in that cascade. Even those we didn't necessarily recognise as part of that cascade.

And it's so important that we also see what dominoes present in others. In our kids. Because the intervention looks different depending upon how they are stacked to fall. And which ones we can help them negate. And l, equally importantly, that others can recognise them in us when we are so caught up in the cascade that we can't.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

A guide to autism and ADHD diagnosis in the UK Everything you need to know about autism and ADHD diagnosis in the UK. From the barriers to access through to the process itself.

What do you say about me?
When I’m worried that my child has been sitting in a corridor for weeks on end.
‘Mum’s very highly strung.’
When you talk about the importance of your job and your workload, and the number of children you have to deal with, and I break down because I know you won’t help us.
‘Mum was verbally abusive.’
So I have to be nice, because I don’t know what else you’ve written down.
Assertive could become ‘rude’.
So I am amenable, not too knowledgeable.
I nod my head to your all-too-obvious suggestions.
I say thank you for the leaflets.
And I smile at the scraps you offer.
(Because we need whatever help we can get.)
I smile.
I go to another meeting.
And I smile.
And we carry on with it pretty much the same as it ever was.
And I smile.

I see children on my school OT caseload who are three, and four, and five, and six. They are behaving in all sorts of inconvenient ways for traditional schooling.

They touch things when they pass by them in the hallways. They stand up from chairs and move around the room, or they fall out of their chairs to the floor, or they pretend to drop a pencil and fall and chase after it. They play with anything on their desk and anything in their pencil box and anything they’re wearing and anything they can get their hands on. Their body knows that playing is how they *ought* to be learning.

When they are sad, they howl with sadness and throw themselves down. When they are happy they scream with delight or run around the room. When they are excited they are bursting out of their body with joy. When they are afraid they bolt from what it is that scares them, or tuck themselves under a desk, or weep. Their body is feeling and they are listening to those feelings.

The adults want them to be calm, calm, calm. To use their calm voices and be big kids and not disrupt class and follow the rules.

I see children on my school OT caseload who are eleven, and twelve, and thirteen. They don’t know how to talk about what they are feeling. They don’t know how to make their brain wander back from wherever it has wandered off to, to learn from a lecture. They know how to keep their hands still, and walk in a line, and be unobtrusive in class.

They know how to ignore what they’re feeling to earn an arbitrary reward or avoid an arbitrary punishment from an adult. They don’t know what they are feeling. They don’t know why they react so explosively when they are angry, or why their mind goes into a panic when they deviate from routine. They don’t have the words for it. They don’t have the tools to cope with it. But they know how to look convenient and quiet and calm. Most of the time.

Bodies aren’t always calm. Calm isn’t always best. Calm isn’t the same thing as regulated.

[Image description: Title text reads, “A regulated nervous system doesn’t look like this or this…” The first item is a straight line, labeled “Always calm”. The second item is a line with long-lasting peaks and valleys, labelled “lots of highs and lots of lows. Then it says “But this…” and shows a sine wave, with recurring, regular hills and valleys. It says, “Regulation simply means having the capacity to move in and out of stress while still being able to return to ‘baseline’ with ease.” The image was made by . End description.]

Highly recommended

✨Upcoming SEND Law Webinar: Expert Insights from Eleanor Dyde✨

I am very excited to announce the next webinar in our PDA Parenting series and this one is definitely one that won't disappoint!

Our expert speaker, Eleanor Dyde, will cover essential topics to help you navigate the legal aspects of supporting individuals with SEND (Special Educational Needs and Disabilities). Whether you’re a parent, educator, or advocate, this webinar is perfect for anyone looking to deepen their understanding of SEND legislation.

Eleanor is an advocate and SEND teacher/tutor who works independently at Dyde Tutoring and Advocacy. She has a wealth of knowledge and information – in fact not only is she a wonderful friend and peer in the community – but she is also my ‘go to’ person who I have aptly named the encyclopedia!

I am always blown away by Eleanor’s passion and enthusiasm at helping families thrive, particularly her desire to always put every child at the centre of what she does. Her knowledge on PDA also is second to none! By joining this session she will be able to advise attendees on her own work and the services she also has available.

We will follow the live session with thirty minutes for Q & A which will give everyone the opportunity to ask Eleanor any questions and to pick her brain on all things relating to SEND law.

Tickets are being kept at a reduced rate of £10 to ensure this is a webinar that is accessible for everyone!

Don’t miss out on this valuable opportunity to enhance your knowledge and ask questions directly to our knowledgeable expert Eleanor.

This session will contain completely different information to the PDA Parenting webinar but it will work hand in hand to deepen your SEND knowledge with an introductory session on the basics of SEND law.

Please type the word 'WEBINAR' and we will reply with a link to all upcoming webinars in the series.

Please do help share this information with friends, family and colleagues so that we can get this webinar to those who really need it ❤🌈

There were times when I felt like we hadn’t been left with much at all.
So I just sat with it, sat with what we had.
Tea, sitting, looking, chatting with the pets.
I took what we had.
And I made this time ours with very little.

How long?
Is what everyone asks.
Everyone needs to know this.
How long?
But I can’t tell you.
I don’t know.
I guess I needed to take the time frames away.
Time frames were pressure.
And healing isn’t linear.
(We’ve popped back many times)

So I now I say it’s for as long as they need, for as long as it takes.

Let’s make it okay for all of us.
With whatever we’ve got.
Us. x

A Different Kind of Parenting-Neurodivergent families finding a way through together by Eliza Fricker out this week.

This is your yearly reminder that-

a) Autistic people don't need to be open about being Autistic in order to be treated with kindness

b) Using blue to represent autism is tied into some really problematic parts of Autistic history that persist even to this day

If you need Autistic people to carry a blur pumpkin to show they are Autistic, the problem is not our difference. It's that you require us to compromise our safety in order to be treated with some balance of dignity.

fans

Following the amazing success of our live sessions, I'm thrilled to introduce my latest instant access webinar...The Circle of Co-Regulation!

This two part in-depth webinar is packed with strategies for supporting neurodivergent people on their journey to self-regulation.

🔹 Part One:

➩ What is Dysregulation, Co-Regulation & Self-Regulation?
➩ Why are we Dysregulated?
➩ Reframing ‘Challenging Behaviour’
➩ Stepping Stones for managing & reducing dysregulation
➩ Importance of safe connections

🔹 Part Two:

➩ The Importance of MY regulation
➩ Journey to YOUR regulation
➩ Co-Regulation vs. Co-Dysregulation
➩ Why Self-Regulation can be hard
➩ Self-Regulation modelling & guidance

Learn at your own pace, anytime, anywhere!

🌟 ALL OF THIS for JUST £9.99 🌟

Start your co-regulation journey today by commenting CIRCLE and I will send you everything you need to know!

This!!

By all means, allow and encourage your child or student to focus their work on their passion (SPIN) but please, do not weaponise their passion!

DON'T:

🚫When you have done your maths you can listen to Taylor.

😞If you don't do your spelling then there will be no 'Penguins of Madagscar' tonight.

❌Every ten minutes that you sit still and look to the front, I will let you have five minutes with the My Little Pony colouring book.

DO:

🥰How about you choose ten spelling words that are about trains?

🙌Let's work out how many penguins live in the colony and what is the ratio of male to female penguins.

😍I saw a reel about Hamilton over the weekend. Maybe you could explain it to me because I didn't quite get it.

🐧🐧🐧 We have an interest-based nervous system. You show that you value us, want to connect with us, and want to create a positive learning environment for us when you celebrate our interests and respect what is natural to us: intense interests and connection through information. 💻💻💻

Very true.

Autistic people are often labelled high or low functioning depending on their external behaviours and how these stack up against neuronormative expectations.

A lot of people don't like these terms or find them very helpful. A person labelled as 'low functioning' may be infantalised, have their views dismissed and have their agency restricted far beyond what they are capable of. Someone labelled 'high functioning' or 'mildly autistic' may be denied supports; have their challenges denied and be expected to just get on with it; and is more susceptible to autistic burnout from being expected to mask through everything.

These labels don't account for the reality of spiky profiles, fluctuating capacity, and dynamic disability whereby an individual's capacity and need for supports will change depending on the environment, their physical health, and many other factors. Read more about these via the links in the comments.

Some people have higher support needs on a day-to-day basis, while others may generally have lower support needs. A simple high or low functioning label still isn't very helpful because it doesn't tell anyone anything about what those support needs may be. These vary greatly for autistic people, and vary even further when co-occurring conditions and other neurodivergences are taken into account.

Some people need someone to fill in forms or make phone calls. Others need help dressing or toileting. Many will prefer clear and direct communication. An apraxic individual or someone with Angelman syndrome is particularly likely to need to make use of Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC). Someone with misophonia is more likely to need a quiet space or ear plugs/defenders. It's hard to even scratch the surface of the range of support needs because they are vast and individual.

So rather than saying 'Billy has level 3 autism' or 'Billy is low functioning', it may be more helpful to state that Billy is autistic and has an intellectual disability (where appropriate to disclose) and outline his support needs. Where it is not appropriate to disclose his diagnosis/identity then his support needs alone might be stated. This gives useful and actionable information to the other person, recognises that every individual has different needs, and doesn't rely on anyone having prior knowledge or clue about what a functioning label or level might mean.

Follow Jade Farrington - Counsellor and Therapist for regular neurodiversity content.

Very mixed views on this proposed safer phone bill whilst they say they don’t want it outright ban in schools, there’s very little information on the impact for schools specially for autistics who communicate through their phone, especially if the selected/non-verbal.
Although there are AAC devices, these aren’t suitable for all.
I understand the reasoning behind the proposed bill with teenager doom scrolling et cetera, but the impact for a person that communicates through their phone could be tremendous.
I use my phone as a communication device all the time because I’m partially deaf, it’s an essential communication device for me.

New UK bill could force social media firms to make content less addictive for under 16s The safer phones bill could ban companies from applying algorithms for young ‘doomscrolling’ teens

You may be aware that autistic people are more likely to identify as LGBTQIA+ than the general population, with a 2022 survey by Autistic Not Weird placing the proportion at more than half (links in comments).

Gender is a hetero and neuronormative social construct, and autistic people tend to have difficulties understanding allistic social norms because of different social and communication styles.

Many autistic people therefore find the rigid binary of male and female quite confusing or baffling. The term 'autigender' seems to have been coined by Tumblr users a decade ago to help understand the experience.

It isn’t claiming that autistic is someone’s gender in itself, but refers to a person’s relationship with gender. Some autistic people’s experience of gender is so heavily influenced by their neurotype that it’s impossible to conceive of it through any other lens.

Surveys show that most autistic people prefer identity-first language (autistic person rather than person with autism) because it’s a core part of their being and impossible to separate from. The entire world and every experience are processed through an individual’s neurology, and that includes understanding concepts like gender.

Autistic people may understand and interpret social norms of any type quite differently from allistics (non-autistics). There can be additional challenges around coming out, accessing safe spaces, and getting gender-affirming healthcare. Autigender is designed to reflect this.

As with any identity it’s a term that can be chosen or not, and only some autistic people identify as autigender. The term isn’t hugely well known, and it only applies to people who consider their gender as being influenced by their autistic experience. Autigender can be a standalone gender identity, but is often combined with others as applicable.

It’s entirely possible for someone to identify with the gender they were assigned at birth while also being autigender, perhaps because they believe being autistic influences their views around gender stereotypes and performances and they don't feel the need to conform to these.

Starting Mid Devon next week

Starting next week.
Cullompton parents carers meet-up

EHCP Experiences Devon see this regularly.
There are hundreds of families in Devon going through this.

What Devon CC haven’t told you is that all this “new” support for autistic children in mainstream is optional. Meaning many schools aren’t doing anything “more” - in my professional experience, it’s these schools that have no intention of doing more.

Single mum's three year battle to find autistic son a school

We have recently invested in this training for our whole team. It was recommended during Bryher’s Safeguarding Managers training and is a really accessible short course. It used to be free of charge and is now £5 per person. Well worth the investment.

https://xeleratelearning.com/e-learning-aces/

Today.

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/DYmRrWLQsxwG4zgE/?mibextid=WC7FNe

TODAY Exeter. 1030-1230