Bodywisdom

Is trauma influencing your relationships without you realising?

Why do some interactions feel SO much more challenging than others?

And why are you getting triggered by 'that person's' behaviour ALL.THE.TIME?

Trauma doesn't just affect our minds and bodies...it also weaves its way into both professional and personal relationships. It makes sense - trauma often occurs in relationship, when we were hurt or neglected as children. Even if you had the most loving parents, you learned to adapt to avoid certain consequences or to stay in connection - to receive love, approval and acceptance.

When these adaptations are still showing up in our lives decades later, and we add in additional stressors and more complicated relational dynamics, we may find we become more reactive to apparently ‘small’ events.

If you're noticing patterns in your relationships that you want to change, it might be time to explore how your past experiences are showing up in the present.

Do you find that you -

😭are often bursting into tears for ‘no reason’?
🤬feel ‘unreasonably’ angry at a colleague or partner’s behaviour?
😟feel judged, disrespected or unseen on a regular basis?
😔don’t seem to ‘belong’ or feel at home in social or professional settings?
😶‍🌫️feel like an imposter in your position at work?
🤯have big mood swings for reasons you don’t understand?

Find out how Somatic therapy can help you to heal the patterns of the past that are showing up in your relationships today - leave me a 'yes please' below or send me a dm and I'll get in touch to arrange a free clarity call.



pic by Frida Lannerström

I am preparing for my INAUGURAL LIVE ONlLINE MOVEMENT SESSION... it's not a class In that, I have nothing to 'teach' you..

I'm more interested in creating a space for exploration and inquiry. What happens when we do this? or when we put our attention here?

How can movement, stillness and awareness support us - to feel more comfortable and therefore more present moment to moment. For 60mins to just BE HERE.

I am calling it I AM HERE. It will happen on WEDNESDAY evenings today at 18.30 - in future at 18.00. Once a month. Zoom recording given for those who can't make it live.

This month's theme is ORIENTATION through the senses.. ears and eyes and touch and how this can bring us back to our sense of centre-ground. It's last minute... if you want to join. Messanger me or Whatsapp me.

Booking info in the comments.

A little reminder for you to bookmark and keep.

Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) identifies 4 possible 'core' wounds that can be triggered by situations, events or the behaviour of others.

Do you recognise your core wound here?

- I'm not lovable
- I'm not enough
- I'm not important (I don't matter)
- I'm not worthy

Chances are, whatever the wound is, it stems from childhood and you began to adapt your behaviour and your needs in order to protect this part of you.

So next time you feel triggered by something, or someone, notice WHAT it is, deep inside you, that's being triggered and tend to that part of you as best you can.

Perhaps it needs a hug, or some kind words, or just a little pause... maybe you can do something as simple as repeat one of the affirmations below. Just as you would say it to a child.

Because it's TRUE. And whatever happened to you, it's ALWAYS BEEN TRUE. ❤

You're lovable, you're enough, you're worthy and you matter.

"My disorder was not a disease or an enemy to be fought, but it was real. It was the part of me who always knew I was worth protecting."

There are no 'bad' parts of us - only parts that were wounded and needed protecting. Part of our healing is recognising that we're not broken, we don't have a life sentence and that with the right understand, connection and support, the trauma of what happened in the past can be healed.

If you're curious about a somatic approach to resolving the ways in which the past keeps showing up in your life, you're welcome to comment CONTACT below or drop me a dm & we can have a chat.

I was the poster girl for OCD. Then I began to question everything I’d been told about mental illness When I sought help for crippling invasive thoughts, I was told I had a disease like any other. But I wasn’t able to recover until I understood the fallacy at the heart of mental healthcare

My latest blog is called Defining Trauma - How Trauma Overwhelms our Capacity to Cope.

I often think of Stevie Smith's poem, Not Waving But Drowning when I think of trauma, which is why I chose this photo for the blog.

Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved larking
And now he’s dead
It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,
They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.

I wonder if you're familiar with some of the lesser causes of trauma? Perhaps you've never considered the signs and symptoms in your own life or those around you... when we understand both what trauma is, and what is isn't and why it happens, we gain a much greater understanding, and perhaps empathy for, our own experiences and those of the people around us.

I'd love to know your thoughts... do let me have your feedback below.

Defining Trauma – Our Bodies Keep the Score* How Trauma overwhelms our capacity to cope. Unrecognised and unsupported trauma gives rise to symptoms and chronic conditions as the body starts to show what the mind hasn't understood

Perimenopause & Stress - Do you have symptoms? Is it time to invest some time in RADICAL SELF CARE?

Anyone who's perimenopausal has looked up the symptoms. The lists vary but most start at around 27 different symptoms.
The ones I recognised were (quite suddenly)
- aches & pains
- anxiety (unexplained, non-specific and often at 4am)
- irritation
- mood swings... like - wild, raging, burn the house down variety
- rage (see above)
- forgetting words in the middle of a sentence
- getting the names for things wrong.

Actually, the first thing I looked up was 'early dementia'. and it was obviously an enormous relief that this wasn't the 'problem'.

But perimenopause shouldn't be a 'problem' either... it's simply that it often goes unrecognised, unsupported or with heavy sighs/ eye rolls from those who don't understand the mental and emotional distress it causes, let alone the physical symptoms that many women experience.

So if you're reading and recognising this I have a really specific way in which I can support you this week. My RESTORE course was originally developed with you, well - ME - in mind. I knew I needed to give myself radical self-care... to clear out and declutter my body and mind, slow down, use tools to support my mental and emotional wellbeing and to make a shift into supporting myself AS A PRIORITY on a daily basis. It really was time to put my oxygen mask on first.

The problem with all this is that women often don't know where to start... what to eat, what to do and not to do... And that's where this ONE WEEK course can help. I give you EVERYTHING to get you started -
A food plan for 5 days: nothing fancy or mysterious - just clean, whole foods with absolutely NO extras or junk
A diet that supports your liver and your hormones
Self-care practices
A supportive community (I can't stress enough how important this is)

And -most importantly - I give you ways in which you can regulate and calm your Nervous System. Because STRESS is enemy number ONE in perimenopause. When we're stressed, our body prioritises the production of cortisol and we lose even more of the other hormones we need. When we're stressed, it taxes the liver and left unattended, leads to visceral and liver fat (the kind you CAN'T see). When we're stressed, we can't think straight, can't make good decisions, lose connections with the ones we love most, don't sleep well and generally feel CRAP.

So, please - join me to RESTORE this coming week.
16-22 March.

You need this! (I need this)... and so does every woman over 40 who has any of these symptoms.

All the details are below... TODAY IS THE DAY!!
-

Do you ever feel mentally exhausted despite getting a full night's sleep?

Do you find yourself stuck in a loop of mental fatigue, constantly wrestling with the same thoughts, or conflicts? 🔄

Whether it's an acute protective state or a chronic pattern, attempting to resolve issues from a place of disconnection simply doesn’t work.

WE CAN’T THINK OUR WAY OUT OF STRESS OR TRAUMA!
STRESS & TRAUMA ARE HAPPENING IN THE BODY.

Before addressing the problem/ anxiety/ stressor head-on and trying to think of a thousand scenarios and solutions, how would it be to simply allow yourself to notice your body?

Is there a sensation?
A tightness or a pain?
Is there an emotion that comes with the sensation?

Can you place a hand on your body for company and allow the emotion and the sensation to be here. Maybe there are tears or sighing or a noise or movement emerges.

Now look around you. Press your feet into the floor and look around the room. Notice that you’re here. Now. (you can also do this earlier if being with the sensation and emotion feels too much)

Tending to your internal state first can pave the way for finding relief from overwhelm and accessing a sense of safety.

Next time mental fatigue sets in, can you pause and give yourself space to listen to your body before diving into problem-solving?

What are your patterns when you get stressed? What happens first, do you know?

If you're interested in learning more, I'm teaching a free class next week. - Restore your Energy: Beating Brain Fog & Fatigue... which are 2 of the symptoms of STRESS.

I've put the l.ink in the comments, so register now and join me on 7 March (or watch the replay)

In my 30s, I ‘had it all’ - a well-paid job in film production services, weekends spent on yachts in the bay of Palma de Mallorca and an active social life…except it was FAR from perfect; I was also putting up with being in an emotionally abusive relationship and was suffering from painful viral infections that made me feel fearful and exhausted both physically and mentally.

When I made the decision to get away for a while and make a change, I had no idea that I was about to embark on a two decade journey! What began as a yoga and massage retreat in Northern Thailand led me to where I am today, teaching others how to listen to the messages (sometimes whispers and other times, painful screaming) from the body that are telling us what we need to change.

My 2-week ‘break from it all’ doing yoga and learning Thai massage turned into year-long deep dive into detoxing my body and my mind. I changed my nutrition, went on fasting retreats, I learned how to meditate on 10-day silent Vipassana retreats, studied massage and yoga and learned to slow down. In short, I transformed my health and my life and I’ve continued to do so since then.

I’ve been learning and teaching for over 20 years now - I’ve explored the fascinating world of neuroscience and Somatic therapy and the intricate dance that exists between the Autonomic Nervous System, our gut health and overall well-being. The more I’ve learned, the more I’ve realised the profound impact our lifestyle, our thoughts and our diet all have on our mental clarity, vitality and overall wellbeing...And the great thing is that the science agrees!

Join me to ‘Restore your Energy: Beating Brain Fog & Fatigue’ on Thursday 7 March at 14.00CET/ 1pm UK (replay available)

You don’t have to go on a year-long retreat, become a yoga teacher or do a deep dive into Buddhist philosophy! - you simply need to turn up for an hour and learn how you can start taking small steps to feeling lighter, brighter, more energetic and healthy.
My mission is simple – to empower you with practical insights and actionable steps to break free from the shackles of brain fog, sub-optimal health and fatigue. We're in this together, and I believe that by understanding our Nervous System and the impact of stress, embracing gut-brain harmony, and nurturing our overall health, we can reclaim our vibrancy.

Comment Brain Fatigue to be sent the l.ink to register directly!

If you or others feel in crisis then you can SHOUT.... text 85258..

About Shout 85258 Shout 85258 is the UK's first free 24/7 mental health text support service, for anyone, anytime.

Do you know WHY you feel anxious?

I don't mean what the reasons are... money worries, family problems, sickness, work etc - but what is going on in your Nervous System (ie in your body) when you're feeling anxious?

If you'd like to learn about what's happening in your Nervous System and (more importantly) what you can DO about it - grab my free resource 'Nervous System Healing', a pdf starter guide. It comes with a Somatic Sound Meditation 'Calm Body, Quiet Mind' to support you in creating that sense of calm and space you need.

Simply comment CALM below & I'll send you the link. ⬇️⬇️❤

Did you know that 80% of the symptoms we experience are caused by stress?

Headaches, insomnia, brain fog, mood swings, feeling on edge and irritable and easily overwhelmed?

It's ALL stress-related. Or to be more exact, all related to the Nervous System. And this means that you CAN become symptom-free. You don't have to spend a life-time coping with it all, or medicating when it gets too much.

How would it be to feel more grounded, calmer, more creative and happier?
How would it be if life felt easy and your body simply felt GOOD - pain and symptom free?

How would it be if you could trust your gut, make good decisions and speak from a place of authenticity and authority?

Join me 1:1 for 12 weeks to RESET & Thrive... a tailored, therapeutic course including Somatic Experiencing therapy, Safe & Sound Protocol (SSP - developed by Steven Porges), Nervous System healing, practical tools and psycho-education all designed and packaged into one program for YOU to feel better and LIVE MORE.

https://go.fionalsmith.com/reset-thrive

Questions? Contact me (dm is fine) to book a free clarity call.

RESET & Thrive Recognise Evaluate Stop Emotions Ease Energy Transform & THRIVE

RESTORE - a 7 day body & mind detox - is open for registration until 12.00 on Friday 3 November.

LIVE & ONLINE from 4-10 November

Join Fiona L Smith - Fiona L Smith - Bodywisdom Therapy & Coaching for one week and together we'll -

- Create Clarity
- Beat FATIGUE
- Reduce Inflammation
- Strengthen immunity
- Start gut healing
- Learn tools to regulate the Nervous System

Set yourself up for a winter in which you stay strong and have self-care practices you can keep returning to.

+ Live daily sharing circle (a wonderful way to support one another on the journey. We meet every evening on Zoom)
+ private FB community
+ Complete course guide
+ Daily practices to support the detox
+ How to use Essential oils
+ Extra Recipes
+ Lifetime access to the course platform so you can keep going back to the materials & practices again and again.

Join me to get your mojo back from 4-10 November.

If you have any questions, contact Fiona L Smith - Bodywisdom Therapy & Coaching ♥️🍂

I would like to acknowledge the passing of and give thanks for the life and teachings of the great Master of Traditional Thai Massage.
Pichet Aon Phawat Boonthumme

My condolences to his family.
Our teacher’s teacher. He dedicated his life to sharing the essence and spirit of the traditions of Nuad Boran.

Down to earth
Ever playful
Ever youthful
Humour always present alongside a deep connection to to Source and the healing power of touch with presence.
Cutting through our Western mind chatter, idolising , expectation and projections with one touch, one tap, one joke,
one word. … “ If need DO! if no need, don’t do!”

My abiding memory and gratitude is for the weeks after my first Thai Massage season… with then only a handful of eager students, watching his demonstrations, revelling in being ‘the model’ for demonstrations, because they never were - they were always witnessed healing sessions.
Marvelling at his huge thumbs - like a Big Toe, seeing this grace and agility in action, when the body and attention is aligned with the forces present - then Go! Always simple! But not easy! I still remember the feeling of awe and mysticism around the morning ceremony of dedications, mantra and meditations - and yet there was no ego - just another way of Dancing with Life.

💚 May your soul be at peace
May all those whose lives you touched continue to carry and share the essence of your teachings in all that we do.
With Gratitude I make an offering to the water on the land 🙏

I was asking my SE ( somatic experiencing)
mentor what she feels is the essence of healing trauma. She said to re-discover our Self-Worth. This morning I discover this poem by John Roedel - A short writer. What really touches me about this are the words ‘take my hand’… the invitation to do this really hard thing - together. We are creatures that rely on healthy and loving interaction. We can’t expected to manage all the time on our own. The feeling of support might just be the reading of a poem written by someone who really GETS how we are feeling or how we have felt, and that this enough of a lifeline to come into the moment.

would you do me a favor?

can you love yourself
for just ten seconds?

can you love yourself
no matter what

the marks in your arms that you
gave yourself yesterday

or what the cruel words he said
that has now nested in your ears?

can you love yourself
despite

the image your crooked mirror
reflects back at you

or the stack of yellowing bills
on your counter

the fresh clump of hair
resting on your shower drain ?

can you love yourself
even though

you now have matching holes in your
favorite shirt and heart

and fresh creases in your face that
weren’t there yesterday?

can you love yourself
no matter what

the scale in
your bathroom

says about you?

can you just love yourself
for ten seconds?

that’s it
just ten seconds

please don’t shake your head

take my hand

and take
just ten seconds
to remember

how lovely you are

that’s it
ten seconds

go ahead and give it a try

take a deep breath
I’ll count for you

________________________

1
your name is the first word of somebody’s favorite sentence

2
you are the trembling cocoon - just ready to burst into colors nobody else has ever seen before

3
you are perfect right now as you are - yes, you are - yes, you are perfect right now - your scars are what make you beautiful

4
your tears are shaped like seeds for a reason - they are growing your new eden one drop at a time

5
the holes in you have become a wind instrument that plays your redemption song

6
you are not your past crimes, sins, mistakes or failures - you are the rising fire - you are the resurrected heartbeat - you are the reborn tigress - you are the reclamation of purpose - you are the baptismal river - you are the same untouched soul that you were on your very first day - you are still who you were born to be

7
you are a sunflower growing in the cracked sidewalk

8
you are what angels write poetry about in the trees

9
you are in the middle of your story - this isn’t your end - this is just the part in the story where you face the dragon - this despair you are feeling is limited to this page - there are so many pages to come - there are so many new words ready for you to read - each page of your story smells like morning rain - there is so much of your story left to be told - your final chapter will someday be called “How I Became a Wind Chime in The Storm”

10
you are eternal
you are eternal
you are eternal

everything else
is temporary

you will outlive your fears
you will outlast your anxieties
you will outrun your suffering

when everything that is troubling you reached it’s expiration date - you will keep going

you were lit long ago
to never be put out

everything else
is temporary

you are eternal
you are eternal
you are eternal

___________________

there!

we made it ten seconds

could you love yourself
for that long?

I know it’s hard
but
can we try again?

this time
you count
to ten

and with every second
remember the truth

of who you are

and what you were
created to be

and say it out loud
and honor your existence
and fall in love with yourself

all over again

my hands are shaking too

let’s try counting to ten again

1 yo
2 u
3 ar
4 e
5 so so so
6 be
7 au
8 ti
9 fu
10 l

~ john roedel

(photo by Georgina Hawkes)

Buff Bones! I
Love this expression. I don’t know whether the information is still available - but it
Makes
Me
Want to look up her stuff on bone health in menopause.

Last call folks! Tomorrow, Sunday, Nov. 20, 11 am PT / 2 pm ET / 7 pm London, Live with Gil: "Bone Health And Movement Quality Over Time!" with Special Guest Rebekah Rotstein, founder of Buff Bones® coming up! All session info here: https://www.gilhedley.com/live_with_gil_info

Dear friend and fellow somanaut Rebekah’s amazing work comes with direct endorsements from luminaries including the U.S. Surgeon General emeritus Richard Carmona, M.D. We will be leaning into Rebekah's career long exploration into "building buff bones" to discuss "Bone Health and Movement Quality Over Time.” Rebekah’s insights will challenge some of the conventional approaches which are in current circulation regarding aging and menopause with her brilliant integrated movement approach to injury prevention. Woohoo, we can't wait!

Make sure you register for the call to get your session link~ Live with Gil sessions are a perk for Explorer members of my site, to learn about membership options, click here: https://www.gilhedley.com/membership

Here it
Is!

Continuing Education Credits Find out which courses are eligible for Continuing Education Credits with your professional organization. Includes NCBTMB, NCPC, and more~

Gil Hedley has put together a series of integral anatomy sessions - for access
as cpd learning. 140hours +.. anyone who has seems his teaching about the heart will know that this is worthwhile 🙏

Dorsal and Ventral Vagus "Nerve?" Learn Integral Anatomy with Gil Hedley https://www.gilhedley.com In this video Gil continues a discussion of the vagus nerve with particular attention to the spatial relations of the main vagal n...

To all Thai Massage students & colleagues who've spent time in the Lahu village and have got to know Jakatae, Nasr & their lovely family, we hope you'll consider donating to help Jakatae rebuild his home after a landslide.
A little from us will go a long way. 🧡

Help Rebuild Jakatae's Family home after landslide, organized by Nicola Smith Hi and Dabiyoo - my name is Nicola Smith Some of you reading this k… Nicola Smith needs your support for Help Rebuild Jakatae's Family home after landslide

In the words of Dr Peter Levine, founder of Somatic Experiencing

WHAT IS SOMATIC EXPERIENCING
"The SE approach releases traumatic shock, which is key to transforming PTSD and the wounds of emotional and early developmental attachment trauma. It offers a framework to assess where a person is “stuck” in the fight, flight or freeze responses and provides clinical tools to resolve these fixated physiological states.
Trauma may begin as acute stress from a perceived life-threat or as the end product of cumulative stress. Both types of stress can seriously impair a person’s ability to function with resilience and ease. Trauma may result from a wide variety of stressors such as accidents, invasive medical procedures, sexual or physical assault, emotional abuse, neglect, war, natural disasters, loss, birth trauma, or the corrosive stressors of ongoing fear and conflict.
HOW IT WORKS
The Somatic Experiencing approach facilitates the completion of self-protective motor responses and the release of thwarted survival energy bound in the body, thus addressing the root cause of trauma symptoms. This is approached by gently guiding clients to develop increasing tolerance for difficult bodily sensations and suppressed emotions.
Dr. Levine was inspired to study stress on the animal nervous system when he realized that animals are constantly under threat of death, yet show no symptoms of trauma. What he discovered was that trauma has to do with the third survival response to perceived life threat, which is freeze. When fight and flight are not options, we freeze and immobilize, like “playing dead.” This makes us less of a target. However, this reaction is time-sensitive, in other words, it needs to run its course, and the massive energy that was prepared for fight or flight gets discharged, through shakes and trembling. If the immobility phase doesn’t complete, then that charge stays trapped, and, from the body’s perspective, it is still under threat. The Somatic Experiencing method works to release this stored energy and turn off this threat alarm that causes severe dysregulation and dissociation. SE helps people understand this body response to trauma and work through a “body first” approach to healing"

Restore, Rewire, Renew - the 7-Day Detox for Body, Mind & Spirit
Live & Online from 21-27 May.

IT'S HERE - the cart is now OFFICIALLY OPEN!! 😍🌱
(for 3 days only)

JOIN ME FOR RESTORE, REWIRE, RENEW - THE 7-DAY DETOX FOR BODY, MIND & SPIRIT!

We start on 21 May with the preparation day (Day 0) and the sales will CLOSE at midnight on 19th - to make sure that everyone's in and has plenty of time to prepare.

This IS the right time - but watch 🧐 your mind 🧠 like a HAWK 🦉👀 (or an owl!!) , because it's going to do everything it can to keep you RIGHT HERE... it might not be comfortable, but it's definitely familiar.

🧠 YOUR MIND'S JOB IS TO KEEP YOU THE SAME. NO MATTER HOW HARD, UNCOMFORTABLE, OVERWHELMING OR JUST PLAIN STUCK THAT MIGHT BE!
I know this - I devised this detox. I KNOW how good it is for me and for others and I STILL took 3 weeks to start... because I had ZERO accountability.
So step out of those uncomfortable shoes. 👠👠THIS IS NOT YOUR COMFORT ZONE!!

It's time to
💚declutter
💚create space
💚find calm
💚detox your guts, your liver and your thoughts
💚put yourself first
💚find your passion for life and YOU again!

So COME ON IN!! AND SHINE💛🧡💚
The link - as always - is in the comments. 😘⬇️⬇️⬇️

You're used to being a bit of a wonder woman, right?

You're the one who holds everything together, juggling the many balls of business, family, parenting, friends and ALL. THE. THINGS.

Except, you're noticing that
😳your brain's often like fudge at the moment
😳 your to-do list is scattered on post-its that have spread themselves onto the floor under your desk/ kitchen table
😳you're burning up in your sleep
😳 you wake up feeling anxious and don't know why
😳 you can't remember where you left your glasses, or whatever you were looking for just a second ago...
😳 you're irritable for reasons you can't even begin to understand
😳 you often feel overwhelmed & exhausted

It ALL starts in the guts...inflammation, hormone imbalance, anxiety... so in this 7 days, you have a super-simple high-nutrition meal plan to follow in which food is your medicine.

🌱 you heal your liver
🌱 clean your digestive system
🌱 balance your key hormones
🌱 create space - inside and out

But we're going deeper...we're going to regulate our nervous system & rewire our thoughts.

🦋Learn why the anxiety is there and what to do about it
🦋Overcome the overwhelm
🦋Learn quick, easy self-care techniques to use when stress spirals and you need SOS help NOW!

We have a dedicated FB group and one LIVE class every day (on Zoom) I teach you how to regulate the all-important Vagus Nerve to feel calmer and more connected with your body (especially your gut-brain), we do bodywork, breath work, EFT, Somatic healing and more... And yes, there's a re-run, so you won't miss a thing!!

Because you deserve to feel SO much better.

You don't have to 'manage' or 'run on empty' and you CAN wake up feeling rested in the mornings, lighter in your body and your heart, clearer in your mind and with energy throughout the day to be and do everything you want to be.
For YOU... and for everyone else.💥

😊Feel calm
😊Connect with your heart
😊Feel joyful & hopeful
😊Get your energy & mojo back on track
😊Lose that winter belly (it's not a weight-loss program, but you will shed excess pounds)

Join Fiona Smith & Bodywisdom Therapy for the best gift you're going to give yourself this year. 😘

All the details are in the comments section. Down there.⬇️⬇️

The value of understanding this simple model of the brain is making more and more sense as we explore the world through through lens of ofthe Nervous System. "Integration as well-being" or " How not to flip your lid!"
https://youtu.be/f-m2YcdMdFw

Dr. Dan Siegel's Hand Model of the Brain