Here for the Quack

Coming up in October...

***Spot filled but feel free to contact us about the future!***

We have unexpectedly had a ten minute spot become available at tonight's Here for the Quack in Leeds. For lineup balance we'd prefer a female identifying act but hit us with an email (see featured post) if you're free please. Thanks!!

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.
The barman looks at him and says: "Hang on! You're a duck."
"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.
"And you can talk!" exclaims the barman.
"I see your ears are working, too" says the duck.
"Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"
"Certainly, sorry about that" says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint. "It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing around this way?"
"I'm working on the building site across the road" explains the duck. "I'm a plasterer."
The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.
So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.

The same thing happens for two weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him:
"You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"

"Sounds marvellous," says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. "Get him to give me a call."

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says: "Hey Mr Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money."

"I'm always looking for the next job" says the duck.
"Where is it?"
"At the circus" says the barman.
"The circus?" repeats the duck.
"That's right" replies the barman.
"The circus?" The duck asks again. "With the big top?"
"Yeah," the barman replies.
"With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck.
"Of course," the barman replies.
"And the big top that has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck.
"That's right!" says the barman.

The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says:

"What the hell would they want with a plasterer?!"

😁😁🦆

Next Thursday's acts for your giggling pleasure...

Just a gentle, feather-down soft reminder that all gig enquiries are only to be via the email address in the pinned post.

Not Messenger, Whatsapp, semaphore, smoke signals or carrier pigeon.

Thank you.

Last minute change of line-up tonight folks.

Thanks to the lovely Eleanor Green for stepping in as very short notice!

Tonight!!!

This Thursday's acts...

This Thursday's acts...

Posh posters just delivered ready for the summer season!

Here are our next dates!

A reminder for interested acts:

ALL enquiries about spots to:
[email protected]

Not Messenger. Not Instagram. Not carrier pigeon.
Send videos. You know it makes sense. 🙂🦆

Thursday's acts!

Just a quack reminder for anyone who can't see the announcements section:

ALL enquiries about spots to:
[email protected]

Not Messenger! Or Instagram!
Or carrier pigeon.
Why are you using a pigeon anyway?
We're all about ducks here...🦆

Slight line up change for tonight - welcoming Gemma to the bill.

Get well soon Alice - we'll see you later in the year!

The awesome March lineup...

Don't forget our next show...1st February at The Duck & Drake, Leeds. Get it in your phone calendar! 👍🦆