Polyday London

A Full Description of Events, for the brief statement please see here https://polydaylondon.uk/2022/
Polyday was started in 2004 by a team of volunteers as a not-for-profit, community conference covering polyamory and other forms of ethical non-monogamy. The Polyday team evolved as people came and went with the event itself retaining its core values. The baton changed hands to the current team in early 2015, with full approval of the founder who has retained interest in the event (including leading a session in 2019), and who we consult on ideas. The handover included the Polyday website, graphics and bank account with acknowledgement that the previous team knew us and had full confidence that we could continue their good work.

We started planning Polyday 2020 in February of that year, and had to cancel that years’ event and 2021 due to the pandemic.

In July 2021 there was a single attempt to contact the Polyday team via a generic email address, to discuss using the Polyday name for an online event. Technology being what it is, the email went to the spam box and wasn’t discovered until a few weeks later. Meanwhile, the people behind this new event started to contact past Polyday speakers, claiming to be the “new team” behind Polyday 2021 and asking if they wished to appear.

When we became aware of this the Polyday chair arranged a Zoom meeting with the organisers of the new event.

Further communication from the organisers of this new event made it clear that they felt we had no grounds to dispute the appropriateness of their use of the name “Polyday”. This was despite them having no previous connections to any previous organiser teams, community space, or events run under that name, nor following any of the core principles that the event has been associated with from the beginning, such as profits being reinvested into future events. We felt forced to register Polyday as a trademark in order to protect the reputation of the event and subsequently made it clear that under British law “passing off” their event as Polyday when a reputation had been established under that name is not permitted.

In the end, the new event went ahead under the name of “Polyamory Day” and we kept quiet, not wanting to cause friction in the community and because we welcome more events. We hoped that was the end of any issues. We are volunteers and activists who have literally shed blood, sweat and tears for Polyday over a period of 7 years, to bring the community five annual events which gained praise in the national press and became Europe’s largest one-day conference on ethical non-monogamy. As volunteers we have always bought our own tickets, paid our own travel expenses both to Polyday itself and to team meetings, used our own A/V equipment, computers and vehicles. We have never been paid for our efforts – not even when we were also session facilitators and speakers. Since 2017 we have actively sought new people to join the committee with a view to passing on the baton ourselves. We also welcome more events because more should be better. There’s plenty of room for several conference type events on non-monogamy in London alone and further afield. We even bought tickets to Polyamory Day in order to support the endeavour.

In the run-up to the first Polyamory Day online event, there was confusion in Facebook groups regarding this event being connected to Polyday. Several posters assumed Polyday was back. We responded only to politely point out that Polyamory Day was a new event, not connected to Polyday and that we’d be back once the pandemic permitted it. Throughout the lockdowns and restrictions we maintained our presence in various online groups and started a discord server to continue serving the community that we have helped build over the last few years. Contrary to claims by the team behind Polyamory Day, we did not disappear and there was never any doubt that we intended to bring back Polyday. We could have been contacted easily at any time via multiple channels. We kept the Polyday website live with small updates to the effect that Polyday 2020 and then 2021 were cancelled and that we’d be back as soon as it was safe.

From discussions in online polyamory groups, it became clear that the profits from Polyamory Day were to be distributed to the organisers as well as the speakers. While Polyday has been able to pay speakers travel expenses and an honorarium, the organisers don’t take a single penny. Any profit made gets put aside for future Polyday events. This is a vital part of what makes Polyday a genuine community, not-for-profit event. There is a specific bank account for this, which was handed to us in 2015 and which we will hand over should a genuine team of community volunteers wish to take on the task of organising future Polyday events.

Two online events took place under the Polyamory Day banner, with one organiser continuing to use in promoting the event which perpetuated the confusion. Then in 2022, we decided that it was once again safe and appropriate to organise Polyday, and began promotion and ticket sales in July. In August 2022, one of the Polyamory Day organisers made a TikTok video claiming to have only just discovered Polyday exists, and that the word “poly” is grossly offensive to people of Polynesian origin despite using “poly” in their own “academic” platform. Further lies and misrepresentations were made on this TikTok account including stating that all our presenters are white, which came as a huge shock and caused offence to multiple speakers of colour. These videos accused Polyday of passing off Polyamory Day, referring to the Polyday chair as “some random person”, and further demonstrated little knowledge of what Polyday is and stands for.

We then learned that some of our speakers had received threatening private messages, regarding their involvement in Polyday. This was the ultimate catalyst to us taking the heartbreaking decision to cancel. We cannot allow our speakers’ livelihoods to be put at risk. They represent various marginalised identities, often several at once, and going ahead would risk damage to them and the community. To us, this is unconscionable.

The Polyday team has been accused of guilt by association. In case you are unaware, the US polyamory scene has been torn apart by accusations of abuse against Franklin Veaux. The situation is ongoing and involves accusations from multiple parties

(see: I Tripped on the (Polyamorous) Missing Stair
and Franklin Veaux’s own statement)

One long standing member of the committee has a business relationship and intimate friendship with Franklin Veaux. However, he is not a part of the Polyday organisation in any way and has never been involved at all other than appearing along with Eve Rickert at Polyday 2015 for a book signing. He has no influence in Polyday, and never has done. He does not support Polyday in any way, directly or indirectly. We have come under attack for sharing a graphic that he created, with the narrative that this proves he is supporting Polyday by giving us special permission to use his work for free. In fact this graphic is free for all to use with credit (Creative Commons) and neither Mr. Veaux or Polyday benefits in any way. Nevertheless the entire Polyday team are being accused of “close connection” with Mr. Veaux, in spite of many of them meeting him only once (in 2015), and of supporting abusers. This is both untrue and inappropriate behaviour in the community.

Cumulatively this is what has led to our final decision to cancel Polyday indefinitely, until another team is able to step up and take the baton to run Polyday as the non-profit, community-focused, volunteer event it has always been – preferably a team that is at least as intersectionally diverse as the current team. If you would like to run Polyday please contact [email protected] to discuss handover.

Thank you so much for your support of us, and the event over these many years. Since we ourselves were passed the baton by the previous Polyday team in 2015, we have had many joyous and positive experiences meeting people in person at our events. We are heartbroken that it has come to this, but we don’t want to risk any further harm to the community.

Home Come and meet other poly people, learn skills that are required for navigating non-monogamy and hear from the experts on polyamory.

It is with the greatest regret that we, the Polyday team, have taken the decision as a committee to cancel Polyday 2022.

Some booked speakers for 2022 have reported that they have received threats after being announced at this year’s event, as a result of associating with the committee. Due to the hostile actions taken against our speakers, we cannot in good conscience continue with the event, particularly given the vulnerability of our speakers, the majority of whom are marginalised in multiple ways. Going ahead will only hurt and fracture the community and for us that's unconscionable.

The committee, speakers, and Polyday, are being tarnished with guilt by association.

If you are not aware, there is an ongoing situation, including legal disputes, between Franklin Veaux and his accusers (see: I Tripped on the (Polyamorous) Missing Stair https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com;
and Franklin Veaux’s own statement http://accountabilityinpolyamory.com/breakingmysilence.html)

One long standing member of the committee has a business relationship and intimate friendship with Franklin Veaux. However, he is not a part of the Polyday organisation in any way and has never been involved at all other than appearing along with Eve Rickert at Polyday 2015 for a book signing.

This is what has led to our final decision to cancel Polyday indefinitely, until another team is able to step up and take the baton to run Polyday as the non-profit, community-focused, volunteer event it has always been - preferably a team that is at least as diverse as the current team. If you would like to run Polyday please contact [email protected] to discuss handover.

Thank you so much for your support of us, and the event over these many years. Since we were passed the baton by the previous Polyday team in 2015, we have had many joyous and positive experiences meeting people in person at our events. We are heartbroken that it has come to this, but we don’t want to risk harm to the community.

For the full statement of events please see here: https://polydaylondon.uk/2022/?page_id=248

A Full Description of Events - Polyday 2022 Polyday was started in 2004 by a team of volunteers as a not-for-profit, community conference covering polyamory and other forms of ethical non-monogamy. The Polyday team evolved as people came and went with the event itself retaining its core values. The baton changed hands to the current team in e...

Official statement from the Polyday team

The UK Poly community’s annual event, Polyday, has come under attack from the organiser of an imitation for-profit event.

Polyday, which has run annually (where possible) since 2006, is a not-for-profit, community organised gathering to share experiences and expertise about consensual non-monogamy.

Last year Claire Travers, who is also associated with the self-styled ‘academic’ website about polyamory; Poly Pages, attempted to hijack the Polyday name for a personal, commercial project.

Claire and Roy approached some of the speakers we had platformed previously claiming to be the new team running Polyday 2021. We had to inform her and her co-organiser, Roy Graff, that because we have high expectations for the people we support and associate with Polyday (to maintain the high quality of the brand), and we had no evidence of their work, that we were not interested in working with them under the Polyday brand at that time. We would however encourage them in building a differently branded event for the UK polyamorous community.

They persisted in trying to use the name, until we pointed out that we do in fact hold the trademark as we had evidence of use. This was seen as a ‘request’ rather than a statement of law.

Ms Travers, et al, eventually launched a commercial event which they called ‘Polyamory Day’ – frankly still a shameless attempt to appropriate the Polyday identity. Her ‘Polyamory Day’ has not been a great success with this year’s event in April attracting barely a dozen attendees for a poor selection of talks, we know this because the Polyday team were in attendance. Obviously this is far from the claim “In 2021 and 2022 we reached hundreds of individuals around the UK and Ireland, and beyond”, though this could take into account figures that we are unaware of.

Regrettably, in the last few days, organisers, prospective speakers and attendees of Polyday have been receiving messages from Ms. Travers and others, implying that everyone involved in the event supports Franklin Veaux, the American author who has been accused of abuse by a number of people. Claims that, for legal reasons, we must stress he denies.

Ms Travers is a newcomer to the UK poly scene; If she knew anything much about consensual non monogamy she would realise that it is a *highly* networked community and almost everyone is a few degrees of separation from everyone else.

For that reason, poison introduced at one point into the community spreads and can cause enormous harm to hundreds of people unconnected to a dispute. Knowing someone, let alone knowing someone who knows someone who knows someone, does not amount to approval or endorsement of their behaviour.

Hitherto the UK poly community has largely avoided the toxicity that has disfigured the scene in the United States. Ms Travers seems to be doing her best to import that toxicity here and tar all the specialists in the UK with the same brush.

As a community we should be absolutely clear; nothing excuses her attempts to bully, threaten and belittle others, especially when it seems to be driven by commercial self-interest and greed. We are also dismayed that Ms Travers feels the need to lie to her fanbase about these facts and that she still does not understand trademark law, as despite us explaining it to her last year, she continues to try and use the Polyday name in conjunction with promotional pieces for her own event.

For the record, and for complete clarity: no one involved in organising in or participating in Polyday in any way condones abuse in any form, whether by Mr Veaux, Ms Travers or anyone else. We want a community where everyone is welcome and everyone is safe and we will continue to work ceaselessly for just that.

Second; we want to be clear that we welcome people running more poly events. We use our meetup page and discord to promote other people’s events and our not insignificant platform to encourage people to run new things. We want more events for everyone. What we disagree with here is the attack on the community by someone who claims to be anti capitalist while simultaneously running a for-profit event, while attempting to leverage the hard work and reputation that had already been built.

We will continue to ensure that Polyday is as safe a space as possible for all attending, as we have done every year we have run from 2006 until the last pre-pandemic gather in 2019. We will be examining our legal options going forward, but want to make sure that you are all aware that we are still looking forward to seeing the community on October 15th for Polyday 2022.

Best,
The Polyday Team.

For a version with screenshots to demonstrate our points:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1auSu8uJzhNmWI7grkbx7TZDOrTuw5o5L3tAvQ_EVOG0/edit?usp=sharing

Happy Friday!

The organisational team has a bit of a problem: We have been poked in recent years to talk about ourselves more. The thing is that we never really want to make this about us. Polyday is about the community, about the specialists out there, and about you, but... you asked for it, so here it is - a self-promotional self promotion post:

We had a discussion last night and found that the current team has around 100 years of combined experience in doing ethical non-monogamy and poly. We run several meetups in London (https://www.meetup.com/polylondon/) and have a UK Polyamory Discord (https://discord.gg/d3JMwGx). We are a diverse group of intersectional feminists; several of us are LGBTQ+, several of us are racially minoritised, several of us are disabled, and several of us are neurodivergent - This allows us to consider accessibility for our attendees from a standpoint of lived experience.

We volunteered to take on Polyday in 2015 when it looked like the previous team was going to be unable to pick it up again, and we wanted to keep to certain standards:

1) That we would not turn it into a commercial venture: We are here to serve the community. None of us makes any money from Polyday and we actually buy our own tickets every year.
2) We wanted to grow it in a way that the original team would be proud of. They planted the seed for this and ran it so well that we wanted to live up to that vision - We hope that whoever takes up the reins after us will continue to build and grow the event in this way.
3) Transparency: Despite us being terrible at promoting ourselves as people, we wanted to make sure that we were as transparent as possible. Every year we release a financial analysis showing the breakdown of costs; 'Where does the ticket money go?' (It's a little boring because 99% is 'venue hire' every year, but still...)

Open, Honest, Ethical - This is the mantra that we espouse that people live by, we wanted to make sure that the organisation was set up in the same way. No creation of false drama for clout, no saying one thing and doing another: We want a sustainable event, one that grows and gets stronger with each passing year, and the only way to do that is to ensure that we live by the policies we preach.

If you want to know more about us, we have started putting together fun little bios on the website (https://Polydaylondon.uk/2022/?page_id=212) and we will be updating as we go. It may be complete by the time you come to reading it, but again: We don't like talking about ourselves that much, when we can talk about our speakers & our community instead.

A little about the Team - Polyday 2022 Polyday has been running most years since 2006. After a two-year hiatus from the pandemic, we are back. The team is mostly the same as in 2019 and a few years before. If you want to read about our history, check out our Wikipedia page. Meet the Team: Captain Morgan Grey (She/They)Project Manager. Wi...

NRE or 'New Relationship Energy (n): The surge of emotional and sexual feelings that result from forming a new relationship.

Learn more at Polyday: https://t.co/qiT9DNpqXB

Polyday (London) 2022 Polyday is Europe’s largest one day polyamory conference. A day of meeting people who identify as non-monogamous & learn from your peers.

Hello and Happy Friday!

Today we're focussing on another of our amazing speakers, this time we'd like to shout about the return of Zayna:

Zayna (She, They), an Intersectional Therapist & Consultant, is an LGBTQIA+, GSRD (Gender, S*x & Relationship Diversity), Non-Monogamies, Race & Ethnicity Hypno-Psychotherapist, diverse relationship coach, presenter, and trainer based in Oxfordshire, UK.

They are a Pink Therapy GSRD aware trainer, Assessor and DEI Officer at The National College of Hypnosis & Psychotherapy.

Delivering training, keynotes and mental health consultancy services to a wide variety of corporations, Zayna has thousands of hours of client work and experience in her specialisms.

She contributes her knowledge as a columnist to OxMag and Fyne Times and co-hosts the Beyond Monogamy with Zayna and Jonathan podcast. An advocate for raising awareness of marginalised groups within society, Zayna has been nominated for the National Diversity Awards Positive Role Model (LGBT+) 3 times.

Zayna’s charity, belonging consulting work and private therapeutic practice explore how race, ethnicity, neurodivergence, social stratification, gender, sexuality, and relationship diversity create a prism of affect upon intersecting minority identities.

If you're as hyped as we are, then tickets can be purchased from eventbrite: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/polyday-london-2022-tickets-341241401217

Hundred Mile Rule (n.): an arrangement in a normally monogamous relationship allowing for non monogamy when separated by significant distance and/or time. See also LDR.

Learn more at Polyday: https://t.co/qiT9DNpqXB

Happy Monday, lovelies!

So one of the things we are aware of is that not everyone can afford the cost of Polyday - Travelling to London, plus the ticket, plus potentially a hotel and of course, travelling back can all add up.

As a result, we have a dedicated 'Angel Fund' that we have run every year. When other people buy their tickets, they can elect to add the cost for someone who can't afford a ticket.

If you need an Angel ticket or travel funding to attend Polyday 2022, please do apply. It may be less necessary this year with the dual presenting method, but our Angel Fund also covers digital as well: If times are tight right now, and you want to watch but can't afford the digital ticket? Apply for the Angel Fund.

https://Polydaylondon.uk/2022/?page_id=68

It is our goal that everyone in the polyamory and ENM community is able to join us.

Angel Fund Application - Polyday 2022 If you can’t afford a Concession ticket and/or need support for travelling, you could be able to access funding from the Angel Fund, donated by other people. If you need an Angel ticket or travel funding for Polyday 2022, please don't hesitate to apply. It is our goal that everyone in the polyamor...

Physical accessibility.

Hi all! So this year we are switching up venue and have elected to host Polyday in the Resource for London centre.

As part of this decision, two of the team went and attended to ensure that it meets the physical needs of our attendees.

We are pleased to inform that there is step free access from street to presentation rooms, with lifts wide enough for wheelchairs, there is a disabled bathroom with plenty of space (and the pull chord reaches the floor), there is very little 'sound bleed' between the rooms and hallway, lighting is good, stairs have a sturdy handrail and are wide enough that people with dyspraxia or using walking sticks are going to be secure travelling if they opt for the stairs.

The Polyday crew prides ourselves on trying to ensure that we check off as many accessibility points as possible, to ensure that we cater to the community as best we can, and we just wanted to pass along that knowledge to all of you.

If you would like to check out Resource for London's accessibility policy, then that can be found here: https://www.resourceforlondon.org/accessibility-policy

And if you would like to buy tickets for Polyday, those can be found here: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/polyday-london-2022-tickets-341241401217

Polyday (London) 2022 Polyday is Europe’s largest one day polyamory conference. A day of meeting people who identify as non-monogamous & learn from your peers.

LDR (n.): Long Distance Relationship, a relationship in which the parties are separated by significant distance, may be a phase in a relationship or it's usual state. See also: hundred mile rule.

Learn more at Polyday: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/polyday-london-2022-tickets-341241401217

Hello everyone!

It has been a quiet couple of years but we (the Polyday team) are in the stages of ramping up for Polyday '22 and we would like to announce some of the wonderful speakers that we are going to be featuring as part of the day.

The first one we would like to feature is Jenny Wilson:

Jenny Wilson (She/Her) instigated the International Day of Consent (30th November) in 2018 and champions consent culture, delivering performances, writing, workshops, rituals, discussions, podcasts and festivals.

Her consent culture manifesto is at www.consentculture.co.uk and her writing on relationships at loveoffscript.co.uk.

Based in Bradford, Yorkshire, UK, she also founded Irregular Arts from a belief that the arts can engage, challenge, delight and make a change. She performs character-based work, including genderqueer drag character Mysti Valentine in cabaret, festivals, live art and street performance. “I imagine what it might be like to live in the world I’d like to live in and create spaces where it is possible for myself and others to experience that world.”

Q***r, neurodivergent, relationship anarchist and solo parent, Jenny is also in Activist Residency at Leeds Beckett University Psychology Dept SSSH! Stigmatised S*xualities and S*xual Harm Research Group; Chair of Happy Valley Pride; coach, restorative practitioner, and facilitator.

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If you or someone you know would be interested in presenting at Polyday this year, let us know through our Simple Speaker Request Form: (https://polydaylondon.uk/2022/?page_id=94)

Polyday London updated their address.

I hope everyone had a good weekend.

To perk up your Sunday night Polyday Tickets are now available!

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/polyday-london-2022-tickets-341241401217

We will feature a new hybrid model, and such old favourites as Poly 101, Speed Friending (in person only), and talks by DK Green, and Zayna.

Save the date! Polyday will be back on the 15th October 2022.

More details and shiny new branding coming soon.

Happy !

Let's all take time to appreciate our metamours.

Hello, just a little reminder that we are collecting opinions on how we can make Polyday better. If you would like to help us please answer our survey here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeJQMnnmIoTq8pSrU-3eYPQCZ0g7C5vRa5hNHeoXRmGMgEH2g/viewform?pli=1&fbclid=IwAR331IlBXxTISlNwFnrkeSTZY4I-vjhJazgkD18XRWmw4tcFubgvU_RyXVU

For a reminder of previous subjects we've covered and so on please see our website from the last Polyday we ran (before the plague): http://2019.polyday.org.uk/schedule

Schedule – Polyday 2019 Schedule Doors Open 9:30 Welcome 10:15 – 10:25 Main Hall Some predictable announcements, some exciting ones and a great big welcome for everyone from the organisers! Session One10:30 – 11:40 Polyamory 201 A more detailed look at living as a polyamorous person, for everyone who’s been doing thi...