Nurtured Birth and Beyond

📖 The review into the state of the maternity system in Northern Ireland was published today (22nd October 2024). Led by Professor Mary Renfrew, it has shone a light on shortfalls that many parents will already have identified through lived experience.

🙏 I really do hope that the recommendations laid out in this report are respected but we all know that if they are, it will be years from now.

🚨 I also hope that it is an alarm bell to parents-to-be that they need to ask questions until they find answers that sit well with them. If they feel uncomfortable with or unsupported by their health care professional, know that there are other options. You have the right to feel respected, safe and listened to throughout your entire journey.

If you feel you need additional support and would like to know if I can help, book a free call.
🔗 Link in bio.

Would any or all of these help you on your transition into new motherhood whether it's your first or fifth?
For me this is a wish list of what I wish I'd had so here I am offering it to you with love and understanding 💚

💪 You do not need anyone to empower you, nor can they anyway because the power already lies within you. For someone to be able to empower you implies that they own the power and are handing it to you, which, of course, they don’t. Yet realising your inner power and trusting that it is there, especially when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth, can be very daunting AND very freeing.

From a very young age we are conditioned to comply with higher “powers” like our parents, teachers and religion and measure up to expectations we can never meet. Therefore we learn that we are not good enough, we are “bad” or wrong for following our instincts. To be a “good girl” we must comply with systems and reject our own power. Very soon we learn to trust others over ourselves and our sub-conscious overrides our instincts and our true potential. But the clues to finding it are still there…. “Listen to your heart”, “Go with your gut”.

Pregnancy is a very powerful phase of a woman’s life where inner power can be reawaken, physically and spiritually. Would you like to explore what this might mean for you? Where could this Rite of Passage take you?

If you are already a mother, what changes have you noticed? Would you do anything different? 💚

🫶 We hear so much judgement passed on women for their choices on a daily basis and when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth it seems that everyone gets a say on what the mother should or shouldn't be doing. Stories are drawn from the past for our mothers to made an example of. We don't want to be one of those examples! So we do our homework, make sure our decisions are backed up by science or someone else's opinion. We feel like we have to justify our decisions but does anyone really care what we want? Who ultimately carries responsibility for the outcome? And what if you were supported regardless of your decisions or the outcome? How does that feel?

Responsibility can feel like a heavy burden to carry.... OR it can be extremely liberating. Let's talk 💚

👩‍💻 At work, you are a strong, confident woman and you wouldn't expect, never mind tolerate, someone chastising you like a child for something you did or didn't do, ignoring your expert opinion (such as what you are feeling about your own body) or using their position to coerce you into something you don't feel comfortable doing. Yet this treatment of women in the maternity system is happening far too frequently. And that is before we even place ourselves at the mercy of the staff during our most vulnerable times of labour or early postpartum.

What has your experience been so far? Are you comfortable with all the choices you are being given? Do you feel you are being given a choice at all?

We can discuss this, the actual options and next steps as part of my birth doula service 💚

🤱 Breastfeeding is a skill that many us, myself included, struggle to conquer. However, we are expecting ourselves to learn something that many of us may never have even observed in real life, never mind been witness to the many possible hurdles or solutions passed down through our female ancestors. And who do we have to turn to in those foggy newborn days when we need support?

Since my first breastfeeding journey it has been a real ambition of mine to train as a breastfeeding support worker. Completing the Breastfeeding Peer Support Volunteer Training is my first step in supporting women through their breastfeeding journeys. Peer Support Volunteers are available to any breastfeeding mum and can be requested through your midwife if you haven't already been given the opportunity on leaving the hospital.

Many thanks to the Western Health and Social Care Trust for the opportunity to train and for the lovely celebration event where all the support mums had the opportunity to meet.

My DMs are always open 💚

🤰Childbirth is not an inherently dangerous event, despite what many would have us believe. During pregnancy we are bombarded with warnings about labour and birth, tests, procedures, horror stories, cultural and personal beliefs, all of which can filter in to have us question our intuition.

Our choices in childbirth matter. Let’s talk about what choices you are making and why. I’m ready when you are 💚

What a great opportunity to meet the other peer support mums and find out about other support the trust offers such as the Human Milk Bank 🤱

Unfortunately many of us don't realise this until after our first birth. It's so important to educate yourself and get support from someone who understands that birth isn't just a physical process. It goes much, much deeper ❤️

When we birth, we don’t just birth babies.

We birth ourselves, we birth our families and we reshape our lives.

It’s so important to get good information on which to base pregnancy and birth decisions.

Because they can affect us for a very long time.

Perhaps the rest of your life.

It's also important to understand that it doesn't matter what the guideline says, or what anyone else thinks.

What matters is what's right for you.

You can also read lots more about birth-related decision making in my book: What's Right For Me? Making decisions in pregnancy and childbirth.

More details at www.sarawickham.com/me

📢 It's officially official 🥳

I am beyond grateful for the knowledge shared and support given by the ladies at Doulas of Northern Ireland , and I am so proud of all my fellow doula trainees.

I am so excited for the future of birth in Northern Ireland with all these new doulas on the block ❣️🤰

I am so thrilled to have attended Nicole's Movement for Birth workshop at the weekend. Nicole has such a wealth of knowledge and experience when it comes to all things birthy and I just loved being in her presence. She talked us through the anatomy of the pelvis and its relation to the rest of the body and birth! She taught us hands on techniques of how to aid labour, before and during, and, my personal favourite, regaled us with tales from her own experience of being a "hands off" midwife and trusting labouring women's instincts as well as her own. Her blog is brilliant too!
Thanks for a brilliant day Nicole. I hope to pass on some of your incredible knowledge to mum's to be very soon xx

Firstly, hiring a doula is a very personal choice. Ideally you would engage with a number of doulas early in your pregnancy and choose the one you feel you can most easily trust and form a good relationship with. This is a person who will potentially be part of your birth experience so you want a calm, unobtrusive and reassuring presence.

Once you have your doula on board, she will work with you throughout your pregnancy, and, in fact, it is this work that builds the foundations for the birth you want to achieve.

Working with me, I will talk you through the fascinating process of a physiological, undisturbed labour and birth so that you understand how powerful you, your body and your baby are. If you have any fears around birth we will investigate, address and uproot them.
Together we will investigate what a confident, fearless, powerful birth looks like for you. I will help you understand the maternity system, ensure you have full awareness of your rights - what YOU can do, not what your care provider says you must do - and help you find those in the system that will support your choices and ultimately give you the best chance at achieving the birth you want.
I will give you evidenced based information so that you can make fully informed decisions about your care, your labour and birth that feel right for you, your baby and your family.
I will help you make your birth plans (yes, plans - the what if scenarios) and a postnatal plan (highly overlooked and underrated!).

My wish is that I leave you with an inner strength and knowledge of the power and capabilities of your body. You can then be your own advocate and I will be by your side to cheer you on. It would be an honour to witness you bring new life earthside but you may even feel confident enough to do it without me.

Every pregnant woman deserves the opportunity to have a birth that leaves her feeling like a goddess- because that's what she is - and what better way to step into motherhood.

Get in touch if you have any questions or would like to know more ❤️

When I tell mums that I'm a doula, after "What's that?" I often hear "I wish I'd had a doula." It comes from the realisation that this could have changed their whole birth experience. Those moments of thinking back what could have been, or what if. I had the same realisation myself but only after 3 births and discovering that doulas existed. Each of our births leaves its lifelong mark and to say that you should be happy because mum and baby are alive and "healthy", undermines the huge impact that labour has on the mental and physical health of mum and baby well past discharge from the hospital.

By working with a doula to learn and understand the importance of physiological, undisturbed birth and the impact of interventions, you are on the first step to realising a confident birth.
As your doula I will help you work through the system to make actual informed choices by providing you with evidence based information and support, regardless of your choices.

We fear the unknown... but believe me, birth is something to be in awe of, to celebrate, to look back on with tears of joy. It is a new you that is born, not just your baby. Make it a confident, fearless, powerful you. It's in your nature and I'm on a mission to help you find it 💪❤️‍🔥😎

What a privilege to be in the company of such experience, knowledge and wisdom. I am so grateful to the Doulas of Northern Ireland for giving me this opportunity to find my tribe and connect with these incredible women. I now believe in my magic which for so long I doubted. We all possess it... it's in connecting that we find it xx

Choosing a doula is a very personal choice. You want someone who you trust and can form a close bond with. A doula should boost your confidence, make you feel supported and in control of your journey. She will be there when you have a wobble and pick you back up. She will cheer you on and hold your hand through the highs and the lows. She is a natural oxytocin boost when you need it most (more on this later!!).

This is essentially what I do and why I do it.

Pregnant women need cared for and protected through pregnancy and birth, for the environment that a baby is born into, how the mother feels during her and her baby's birth, leave a life long imprint.

We must nurture now more than ever since we seem so disconnected from nature. It's time to reconnect.