Bernadette McFadden Counselling Services

“Strictly speaking, you do not heal 'from' trauma.
You simply come to know yourself as Life Itself.

And you turn towards the wounded place, and you flush it with attention, which is love.
And maybe the wound will always be with you, maybe you will always walk with the hurt.
Except now, you hold it. It doesn't hold you.
Now, you are the container, not the contained.
So it doesn't control you any longer, the wound, because it is drenched in awareness now.
Drenched in You. Loved by You. Even celebrated by You.

You do not heal 'from' trauma, strictly speaking. You find healing 'in' the trauma. You find yourself at trauma's sacred core:
The One who is always present.
The One who can bear even the most intense feeling states. And survive.
The Indestructible One. The Infinite One. The Powerful One.
YOU.”
- Jeff Foster

Thank you Rachel Alana (R.A. Falconer)
Midwives of the Soul for these beautiful words on this Friday 💚

"If you want resurrection, you must have crucifixion. Too many interpretations of the Crucifixion have failed to emphasize that relationship and emphasize instead the calamity of the event. But crucifixion is not a calamity if it leads to new life. Through Christ’s crucifixion we were unshelled, which enabled us to be born to resurrection. That is not a calamity. So, we must take a fresh look at this event if its symbolism is to be sensed."
-Joseph Campbell

The symbols of Easter are universal, arising from the deepest and most eternal processes of the soul. The torment and submission against the cross, the triumph of Life through its struggle, of rising free from the dark cave, the egg, the tomb, to be born anew. Jung said, “One speaks of rebirth; one professes rebirth; yet one is filled with rebirth.”

This process is in itself a Great Mystery. Like the long wasteland and struggles of winter so often we come to a point where the soul finally dies to the old life and ways of seeing, into the new life. Like the chick emerging from the egg, or Christ from the tomb, the soul finally rises once again, through the dead ice of ego like a sapling in Spring. Freed from its suffering caused by it being nailed to the oppositions and trials of the mortal condition. Resurrecting into a greater, and perhaps even divine, consciousness.

Both ancient pagan and Christian symbolism unite as one at Easter - on the first Sunday after the first full Moon, after another cross, that of the seasons at Spring Equinox. The symbols Campbell speaks of: the cross, the crucified world saviour, the hare of fertility, the gestating egg, tap into the deepest, most universal processes of the psyche. While Christians believe it represents a true and deeply sacred event in history, we might also consider how it reflects the true and deeply sacred processes that must be endured during the journey of the evolving soul, while in the world. The many deaths and rebirths we must suffer in one lifetime, as we find ourselves pinned to irreconcilable circumstance, to terrible trials or opposition, with no choice but to finally submit to the will of a greater consciousness.

And like the chick that breaks finally from its restrictive egg. That has grown strong in its long, winter-like struggle against the darkness of unyielding walls, the symbols and processes Easter celebrates hold the kernel of our Greatest Potential. The walls do not grow weaker, it is in the struggle that the chick grows stronger; until finally – with no promise but only the soul’s call to endure, its beak breaks through into Light. Life becomes infused with the divine. Of the “enlightenment” that comes each time we go through such deaths, such rebirths, finally stepping free of our restrictive caves of perception into broader visions and understanding. And into the revived personality.

As Goethe said: “Unless you are constantly practising it - this dying and being reborn, you are only a guest on this planet.”

Easter reminds us of this. Of the price of a higher or more divine perspective - and the price of wisdom. The full price of being alive. ❤

~Rachel Alana (R.A. Falconer)
Midwives of the Soul

art | Aleah

♡

Transform Your Practice: Earn 6 CPD Points with Daniel Maté An exclusive opportunity for counsellors, psychotherapists, and mental health professionals to explore new dimensions of healing and personal growth. Tickets are limited – secure your spot now!

💚

We feel what we feel. In the teachings and practices I studied, there was no attempt to belittle my pain or rationalize it, and no one was reassuring me that things would surely get better soon or reminding me to only look at the bright side—all things we are conditioned to say and believe in the face of suffering. For the first time, I felt permission and freedom to feel whatever I was going to feel. I wasn’t doing it wrong, and neither are you.

The wonderful Mary McHugh & her team ❤️

Really excited for Friday. . We are beyond delighted to attend the awards ceremony on Friday.

Gambling is a silent killer and can affect many areas of life, including mental health, relationships and finances.

If you’re struggling with gambling and need help, call today at 1800-832-032 to begin our 12 week recovery programme.

💚

When I say the feminine, I don’t mean gender. I mean the feminine principle that is living—or suppressed—in both men and women. The feminine principle attempts to relate. Instead of breaking things off into parts, it says, Where are we alike? How can we connect? Where is the love? Can you listen to me? Can you really hear what I am saying? Can you see me? Do you care whether you see me or not?

Now, these are very serious questions. And the feminine is difficult to talk about because so few people have experienced it. The feminine is presence, and relatedness, and a heart that can open so that when you meet another person you actually are seeing that person’s authentic self. What meaning does human life have if nobody has ever seen you?

I can’t tell you the number of people—men and women—who have sat in my office sobbing, saying, “Nobody ever saw me. Nobody ever had time to listen. So I am unlovable”—the saddest word in the language. Sometimes I’ve had a real flood of feeling about somebody, and I put out my hand and they say, “Don’t touch me. I’m unlovable.” And they mean it. As a child, that person was raised where the feminine was not present. You have to experience the feminine to understand it.

Ask yourself: As a child, who saw you? Who heard you? Was there anyone with whom you could be totally yourself and to whom you could trust your heart responses and speak your soul responses? Someone who made you think, “Gosh, I am somebody. They’re happy that I’m here.”

The great work of our time is to bring the feminine into this culture. And it’s not an easy path. How does each one of us contribute? Believe it or not, it’s done in the most personal ways. Take time to listen to your dreams, to write them down. Take time to recognize that there are things going on within you that need to be felt, or said, or lived, or grieved. Pay attention to these things both in yourself and in the people in your life. Pay attention to the authentic self.
..Love is the real power. It’s the energy that cherishes. The more you work with that energy, the more you will see how people respond naturally to it, and the more you will want to use it. It brings out your creativity and helps everyone around you flower. Your children, the people you work with—everyone blooms
—everyone blooms.

- Marion Woodman

art | George Yepes

♡

🌟 Honoring International Family Drug Support Day: Nurturing Well-Being for Families 🌟

🌟 Navigating Boundaries in the Face of Addiction: A Guide for Families

Living alongside a loved one struggling with drug use can be an emotional and physical challenge. Finding the balance between providing support and safeguarding your own well-being involves the establishment of clear and healthy boundaries. Here are some practical suggestions for family members to set boundaries, prioritising mental and emotional health while encouraging their loved one to confront the natural consequences of their actions:

1. Define Clear Communication Lines:
Establish open and honest communication. Express your concerns assertively, focusing on your own experience rather than blame or criticism.

2. Educate Yourself:
Arm yourself with knowledge about addiction and available resources. An informed approach allows for empathetic decision-making.

3. Set and Communicate Boundaries:
Define specific boundaries related to your well-being and household dynamics. Clearly communicate these boundaries, such as a zero-tolerance policy for drug use at home.

4. Establish Consequences:
Outline consequences for crossing boundaries, such as limiting contact or refraining from certain shared activities. Consistently enforcing consequences reinforces the importance of respecting boundaries.

5. Prioritise Self-Care:
Make self-care a priority. Engage in activities that bring joy and relaxation, and cultivate a strong support system for encouragement.

6. Seek Professional Help:
Encourage your loved one to seek professional help for their addiction. But at the same time, engage in professional support for yourself. Contact the FASN - Family Addiction Support Network to learn more.

7. Detoxify Your Environment:
Create a supportive home environment by removing substances or triggers that may contribute to your loved one's drug use.

8. Encourage Responsibility:
Foster a sense of responsibility by allowing your loved one to face the natural consequences of their actions. Avoid rescuing them from the fallout, encouraging recognition of the need for change.

9. Stay Consistent:
Consistency is key when implementing boundaries. Be firm in upholding limits, conveying the seriousness of the situation.

10. Acknowledge Progress:
Celebrate positive steps toward recovery. Positive reinforcement can be a powerful motivator, emphasising that change is possible and worthwhile.

Conclusion:

Setting boundaries is a delicate dance, requiring clear communication, consistency, and a commitment to fostering an environment that encourages change. Remember, seeking professional guidance and prioritizing your well-being positions you to better support your loved one on their journey toward recovery. 🌈💙

As we approach International Family Drug Support Day on the 24th of February, stay tuned for our upcoming posts, tailored with you in mind, as we navigate this path together. 🌿💙

Family Drug Support



Family Drug Support

A nurturing work place ♡

♡

♡

From the start of February, Ireland will have started the journey of having at least 9 hours of sunlight each day until November 2024.

From Feb 6th, our sun will 5:17pm and will continue to set later and later in the day.

Brighter days are coming ☀️

Live in person training events in Cork

Get ready for a thrilling 2024 with live, in-person training events! - https://mailchi.mp/pcpsi/live-in-person-events-for-2024

Understanding Addiction

Rural co***ne addiction: ‘I was destroying everyone around me’ Offaly man Ian Sullivan was 18 years old when he tried co***ne for the first time, it would soon take over his life.

What's wrong for you rather than what's wrong with you.

Understanding Addiction and the Dis-ease of the Brain.

What parts of the Brain are affected by drug use?

Drugs can alter important brain areas that are necessary for life-sustaining functions and can drive the compulsive drug use that marks addiction. Brain areas affected by drug use include:
1. The basal ganglia....….which play an important role in positive forms of motivation, including the pleasurable effects of healthy activities like eating, socializing, and s*x, and are also involved in the formation of habits and routines. These areas form a key node of what is sometimes called the brain’s “reward circuit.” Drugs over-activate this circuit, producing the euphoria of the drug high. But with repeated exposure, the circuit adapts to the presence of the drug, diminishing its sensitivity and making it hard to feel pleasure from anything besides the drug (NIDA, 2020)

2.The extended amygdala …plays a role in stressful feelings like anxiety, irritability, and unease, which characterize withdrawal after the drug high fades and thus motivates the person to seek the drug again. This circuit becomes increasingly sensitive with increased drug use. Over time, a person with substance use disorder uses drugs to get temporary relief from this discomfort rather than to get high (NIDA, 2020)

It also…powers the ability to think, plan, solve problems, make decisions, and exert self-control over impulses. This is also the last part of the brain to mature, making teens most vulnerable. Shifting balance between this circuit and the circuits of the basal ganglia and extended amygdala make a person with a substance use disorder seek the drug compulsively with reduced impulse control (NIDA,2020)

With knowledge we get a sense of why recovery from addiction is so difficult. Interventions include shifting balance between brain circuits ...as the thinking brain has gone off line so to speak. Sometimes people suffering this dis-ease of the brain act in an impulsive manner causing all kinds of havoc for themselves, their families, their communities. Sometimes if they manage to survive they might "wake up in a cell" and in time tap into their true potential. They gain awareness and empathy (note brain is now developing and maturing in pre cortex) and go onto help other people suffering. Sometimes they do not and we lose far too many people to this terrible condition. There is a lot of suffering for the person, their family, society, the harms caused by addiction is endless. We all pay the price in one way or another. Recovery is possible and with support we can face anything.

“Why do we focus so intensely on our problems? What draws us to them? Why are they so attractive? They have the magnet power of love: somehow we desire our problems; we are in love with them much as we want to get rid of them . . . Problems sustain us -- maybe that's why they don't go away. What would a life be without them? Completely tranquilized and loveless . . . There is a secret love hiding in each problem”

― James Hillman

"Rock Bottom" - I can still see the light ✨️
Garristown Beach, Co Cork, 6th January 2024

An in person gathering in Cork this March with Daniel Mate

Early Bird Ticket Sale Ending 👉 Daniel Maté Live in Cork March 2024 - https://mailchi.mp/pcpsi/daniel-mat-cork-2023-email-2

"It" will let go of you..when you've chewed over "it" long enough, when it is witnessed, intergrated and when you have come back to yourself ♡

Let it through... (~a passage from 'Hearticulations')

Irish Online Counselling Services

We made . Our therapist Mike contributed to this excellent piece by . You will find a link to Mike on our website www.counsellingonline.ie if this is something you want to work through. **n