The One Constant

Free Workshop in Croom

Could be helpful for some going through this or for those who would like to be prepared in case it happens in the future.

It sits differently when framed this way...

Mood 💁‍♀️

Pic Cred

🌱It's not what's WRONG with you but more importantly what happened TO you?

🌱Trauma isn't just about what happened to you though, it's also what should have happened to you, but didn't.

🌱It's not just about abuse but also neglect.

🌱It's not just hitting or screaming but it's also the silence and ignoring.

🌱It's not just having an adult offload on you and burden you with adult issues and responsibilities as a child....it's also about having an emotionally unavailable parent who didn't talk, comfort or connect with you as a child.

🌱So often I see and hear clients come in asking to be fixed, telling me they're broken or damaged and come in wondering what's wrong with them and why are they so 'f**ked up'...but they're not. They're none of those things.

🌱 Tell me where you've come from, tell me where you've been, and tell me what happened to you along the way and there you'll find some answers to your questions.

🌱We're on a journey and no one leaves unscathed. It's just some people are better at hiding and denying their pain than others. Some are on a different place in their journey thsn you are. Some people have had different lives than you and have had different experiences than you.

🌱Labelling and judging people for what we don't know or understand is ignorant. Ask questions, be curious, probe and seek to understand not judge. Be open and aware of that which we don't know or are privy to. Acknowledge wrongdoings, differences and varied experiences of the same thing. We are all complex and individual human beings trying to live and find our way.

🌱 'To close our eyes will not ease another's pain' - chinese proverb.

Could be of benefit to some. ❤

🌱Can't express the importance of repairing when we make mistakes...so much harder to move on without accountability.

🌱Reminder though, the best apology is when there is an actual behaviour change and not just the words ☝

Bravery isn't just about saying yes....it's knowing when to say no and walk away 💚

And when you do feel like you can, support is there. You don't have to sit with it alone. ❤

🌱CBT counselling available in Limerick.
🌱In-person or online appointments available.
🌱Can be helpful and beneficial for the treatment and symptomology of depression, anxiety, eating disorders, bi-polar diagnosis, alcohol and drug issues, relationship issues and other medical diagnosis etc.
🌱Contact our page or check out www.theoneconstant.ie to get in touch.

Michelle 💛

Home | The One Constant Counselling The One Constant Counselling Service uses a client-centered integrative approach to therapy with a focus on challenging and changing unhelpful thinking patterns and behaviours which may be causing issues or stress in the client's life. We provide the opportunity to be heard, and can offer support an...

If only...❤

Reframing Is Everything.

Our thoughts impact how we feel and how we feel impacts how we behave and vice versa.

The thought feeling behaviour connection (I explained here on a post previously) is constantly in sync, with each element directly effecting the other. So, a little skill we can use to interrupt problematic thoughts, feelings or behaviours within ourselves is to change how we think about the issue, change how we view it thus changing how we feel about it which can then directly changes how we deal with it.

Reframing is a widely used technique within counselling which can be easily adapted to situations outside of therapy.

You can't change other people...you're wasting your time if you're trying. You can only change you. Your power lies within your own reactions and perspective. Change that 🙌

Pic credit not mine but gives a lovely example of how we can do this with children, this can also be extended to adults.

Two of the biggest reframes I've learnt:

🌱Attention seeking behaviour is connection seeking behaviour ❤

🌱All behaviour is communication...look for the story the body is trying to tell ❤

Counselling appointments available for next week.
Online & In-person slots available.
Pop us a DM here or check out www.theoneconstant.ie for more information regarding our services.
Alternatively, if you would like to discuss your queries over the phone you can also pop me a text or give me a call on the number below.
Michelle x

🌱Growth requires us to get uncomfortable.
🌱It asks us to face the parts of us that we'd rather keep hidden.
🌱The very parts we shame and judge and criticise.
🌱Growth asks us to look at them with the humanity they deserve.
🌱It asks us to pull up a chair and get close to our flaws.
🌱Because something magical happens once you accept the parts of yourself you one shamed or loathed.
🌱Once you start to accept yourself these parts, they can no longer be weaponised against you.
🌱Because once you can stand in front of someone and say "yes this is me and I am like a, b and c and I'm OK with that".
🌱The other person has no power, they cannot use your flaws against you, you've essentially taken the weapon out of their hand and now they've nothing to throw at you because you know and accept yourself for all you are.
🌱 Imperfection doesn't make us unworthy, it makes us human ❤

The Cocooning Stage 🦋

Just because you can tolerate it, it doesn't mean you should...

🌱Are you OK with what they're seeing?

🌱It's so important to be honest with ourselves about what we're modelling for our children.

🌱They'll grow into adults one day and the relationships they have will be primarily modelled on the first relationships they saw, the ones of their parents/primary care givers.

🌱Kids learn by watching, mirroring and repetition.

🌱It's never too late to change your approach. It's never too late to say 'this isn't working'. It's never too late to break harmful patterns and cycles within your family. Your kids are worth it and their kids will be too.

Peaceful parenting is often more about focusing on our own growth, healing, and behavior. Are we modeling the things we want to see in our children? Cuz if not, I guarantee that they will sniff out our hypocrisy! That’s not to say that we should feel shame for not being perfect models. When we recognize how hard it is for us to live up to our ideals, we can have more empathy for our children when they struggle too. We can soften and have more grace as we all learn to be human together. 💗 #untigering #PeacefulParenting #GentleParenting #RespectfulParenting #ConsciousParenting #DecolonizingParenting #AsianParenting #AsianMentalHealth #unschooling #DecolonizeEducation #SelfDirectedEducation 🖼: @mombrain.therapist