AJ The Love surgeon

*To the young men*

Any girl calling herself a slay queen is a Pr******te.

Period.

Don't waste your few pennies entertaining them with their fake standards.

They have no standards.
They have no class.
They would give their coochies to a beggar for a bowl of soup.

Work on yourself, young man.
Good ladies will look for you.
Men are not bound by the biological clock.
You are the prize.

True love happens instantly, and you should stop mistaking every instant connection to be love bombing or you'll miss your bus. True love means you flow, and it's contradictory to imagine struggling to flow, waiting, and hoping and forcing the chemistry. This doesn't mean you must love the person at first sight, no. You may exist in the same environment and interact in another capacity without any feelings coming up because you have not tuned into them or considered the possibility of a relationship between you. Or you only interact generally, not personally.

People don't always get attracted to us by seeing more of us. They get attracted by seeing more of our value. And to see someone's value, you often need to interact personally or in a setting where their unique traits glow.

When love is true, it should bubble the more you know that person, with or without them showing interest back to you. Sometimes, it begins like a liking of how they do their thing, then it graduates to enjoying working with them or conversing with them. All of it is a continuum of the same thing - connection and flow. From 'we click', to 'we connect' to 'we're inseparable,' to 'we're one.'

Does it mean you should jump right in every time you fall in love? No, unless you're naive, you should know that you can fall in love, but there are obstacles that make a life together impossible. You should both fall in love and take the time to survey the ground.

So how shall you tell the difference between genuine connection and love bombing, if they're both quick and powerful?

Love bombing is one-sided, while genuine love is mutual. A person loves bombing you will bombard you with affection, hoping to get something from you. May be they're homeless and stranded, so they give you attention that is out of this world and before you know it they live in your house, or they live on your money.

© AJ The Love surgeon

The AJ expirience

So what's your dream? To have a dream home, a dream marriage, and a dream car by the time you're at a certain age, right? Good. But dreaming is only one part, and everyone dreams anyway. The next question is whether you're merely interested in achieving those things or you're committed to them. When you're only interested you stay on for as long as it's convenient and straightforward. When there comes up obstacles and twists, you check out. You accept explanations and develop stories of why you couldn't get there.

The economy. Lack of support. Rise in costs.

But when you're committed you accept nothing except the goal. If the economy changes you change too. If they shut down you search for whatever is still open and switch to it. If support disappears you replace it or you do without it.

Your dreams are only as good as your drive for them.

Dreaming is free, but the hassle is sold separately. Many desire the good life, few are dedicated to it.

From inbox...

Guys😅😅😅
🙄🙄🤔Hello Iam a married woman but married to two men.Iko hivi;I have a hubby whom we have 2 kids,been married to him legally for 7 years.Ilifika mahali marriage ikawa booring hubby akani cheat mpaka akapea dem boll.Nikasema nita revenge lazima.In our neighbourhood,a neighbour moved in with his family early last year.Huwa ni own compound,so ako next compound.We fell in love after 3 months ya hao kuhamia hapa.We live in a town out of Nrb I and my hubby,then the family ya huyu neiba pia iko hapa.The man,alipata transfer to Nairobi,so akawacha family yake hapa next to where we live.We continued dating and it got serious that he wanted me to quit my marriage anioe k**a 2nd.I refused nkasema Iam first penye niko,siwezi toka nikue second.After months of kuvurutana,we striked an agreement that anioe but nibaki na bwanangu na abaki na bibi yake na wasijue.So our arrangent goes like this,mimi I stay with my hubby but my work involves alot of travelling.Hubby ni ofisi,home.On the other hand,the 2 nd guy works in Nrb na his family is here in this town,his wife ni house wife,biashara tuu.So,huwa nasema sometimes am going for "work trips" but naenda Nrb nakaa na second man for ata 3 straight weeks.He has rented a house in Nrb where I go to.His wife hajawahi kanyaga huko.
When in Nrb,we are known as "hubby n wife" ata ppl know hivyo.When in the other town,kila mtu anaingia kwake na ni k**a hata hatujuani.We dont even great each other.We both work with the govt. The arrangement is working so far soo good and we are happy.His 2 sisters know me n call me inlaw.2 of my siblings know him too.Hivyo ndio tunaishi.Nikona bwana wawili yeye akona bibi wawili but mimi na yeye tu ndio tunajua.I appear in his work functions in Nrb as his wife na wife hajui,hubby hajui.VERY TRUE STORY.

Ukatae ukubali lakini for any marriage to thrive lazima bwana akae danda na akubali kukaliwa na mke👂👂👂 you will never hear any cases hoo wazee kujeni, mama kanisa ooh pastor ,never!!!!

What is s*x?
What part of s*x is sweet??
Comments fupi fupi

How do ci******es influence potency and the p***s? 🫀🫀

There’s verified information that SMOKING REDUCES BLOOD VESSELS IN YOUR DICK.

As a result, blood flow gets lower, erections are weaker, and your p***s shrinks by about 1 cm. DO YOU WANT TO SMOKE ANYMORE? 😅

Also, the love of smokes lowers the longevity of s*x 👎🏻

🔥🧊YOU WANT A STRONG AND RELIABLE HARD-ON? Stop smoking ci******es and forget about alcohol 🔥🧊

Things You Shouldn't Do to Attract a Man

❤️ 1. Send your n**e photos.
He doesn't need to see you naked to realize that you're a worthwhile girl. He should understand this from the very beginning.

❤️ 2. Dress up.
You don't have to look like a supermodel. So don't suffer in front of the closet every time you know you can meet him. He should love you, whether you're in a tight blouse or shapeless jeans.

❤️ 3. Have s*x.
He should like you before s*x. He should ask you to date before s*x. You don't need his p***s to convince his head that you're cool.

❤️ 4. Lose weight.
Any guy who's worth your time won't care if your stomach is flat or not. He will pay attention to more important things, for example, how sincere and beautiful your smile is, how funny you laugh.

❤️ 5. Make him jealous.
He doesn't have to see you in his friend's arms to know that he feels something for you. Don't fall in love with a guy who only wants you when you're unavailable. Because as soon as you become his official girlfriend, he will get bored. And then he will leave.
❤️6. Fake your life style.
Men attractiveness is what they seee.if you fake your life style and he falls for you the moment you loose the balance is the moment you loose him.
Always be you let him fall in love with you on what you have.

Mungu ukileta warembo,uwalete na sahani zao...

Mbona usiku hainanga lunch time...
ama ju ni short form ya
Usikule 🤣🤣😉

YouTuber Xtian Dela is still trending after his mother, actress Naomi Nyongesa, revealed that she had not seen her son since 2019.

"Kukaa miaka minne bila kuona mtoto wako sio rahisi> Mahali penye ako, ajue mama yake anampenda. Baba yake alikufa. Yeye ndio nguvu yangu. K**a anajitenga, hataki sibling wake kuongea naye, anataka tufanye nini?" Naomi said.

After his mother's outburst, Dela shared an article on social media detailing how to recognise a toxic parent.
What should I tell xtian ???

HER: Ghai, kwani hauna CD? Sasa tutafanyaje?

HIM: Tulale tu, there is always a next time. nitavumilia hadi asubuhi.

2 minutes later...

HIM: Si ata tu romance kisha tulale? Nishike niskie poa.

She turns slowly to his side to face him.

HER: Wueeh, na ikisimama?

HIM: Haiweziii, ni yangu naijua. Haisimamangi.

2 minutes later...

Her: Weweee, unaona imesimama..

HIM: Badoooo, inakuanga hivyo. Usijali.

He skillfully and tactfully finds his way around her underwear and rests the head of his Msilimbombo at the entrance of kīrīa.

HER: Woiyeee, Usiingishe akiii..

HIM: Haiwezi ingiaaa...

Slowly but surely, he gains headway inside the honeypot.

HER: Ghai, unaona umeingisha..

HIM: Badoooo, Wacha ikae hapo basi. Nifungulie miguu vizuri bas ni relax hapo.

She spreads one leg to give him limited access like 2G network. He capitalizes on this move and hopes that it will eventually turn her on and allow 'kitu imese mwensake..'

HER: Si unaona! aki unanifanya.

HIM: Usijaliiii, nitatoka saa hii tu..

He notices that she's no longer resisting and she is now cool and relaxed. It's all systems go.

He lifts both her legs higher than Inua dada initiative ever did under Jubilee government.

9.98 seconds later...💦 💦

He falls off from her and pants in fast shallow breaths, like a child with 'Rimonia'.

HER: Nilijua tu hivyo ndio ulikuwa unataka..

HIM: by the way Ulijuajeee... Aki🤣🤣🤣🤝✌️

Stayed within for long,,,on this Sunday I went without for a treat 🤣🤣🔥🔥

The Bible is 80% polygamy, 15% Completely single people & 5% monogamy.
God's order is immutable

dear ladies, a lot of men are serious about dating you for marriage. but your attitude towards money changed their intentions💯🤦

Things Your Partner Doesn't Need to Know

Are we promoting keeping of secrets between partners? No, but rather maintaining the sacredness of your personality. It was Esther Perel who said, 'The quickest way to kill s*xual chemistry between you and your partner is to know everything about them.'

And why is this so? Because s*xual fulfilment by nature requires separateness. That's why you couldn't get it within yourself to begin with. If, therefore, you get to know your partner until they also feel like an extension of yourself, the attraction will have no distance to cross, and it will die.

Many people mistake intimacy with familiarity. Intimacy is about connecting deeply with another, but while remaining yourself and them remaining themselves. They need to stay in their otherness, their unknowable essence. This is what brings fascination and wonder.

Healthy relationships require a balance between closeness and separateness. You need to be open enough to connect and engender trust, but still separate enough to maintain your individuality and spark your partner's curiosity to know you more.

So what things should you keep away from your relationship?

One, details of your past s*xual experiences. One guy was just chilling when his wife's ex-lover sent him a text taunting him that he was 'feeding on the ex-lovers leftovers,' and detailing their s*xual escapades back then. The woman had wisely kept these details away, but now someone else disclosed them, whether true or exaggerated. It was a malicious move of course, and premarital s*x always invites this kind of attacks.

Whenever we allow someone into that vulnerable side of ourselves before marriage, these are the problems we're inviting.

The guy struggled to shake off the psychological assault, much like someone spitting in your soup to spoil your appetite.

You may not need to hide the fact that you got involved s*xually with someone, but you don't need to enumerate the details.

- AJ The Love surgeon

You cannot remain cynical about love and still attract it into your life. The moment you start questioning whether there are any good people left, you're also sending the message that you're not one of them either. Otherwise, you wouldn't doubt the existence of a society you're a member of.

It's easy to fall into resentment and bitterness when you've been hurt repeatedly, but if you don't find a way to get over it and restore your faith in love and relationships, that will become the end of the road for you.

Many of us have felt the disappointment of falling in love with a person only for them to claim that they no longer 'believe in love.' Of course we knew it was a bitterness from past experiences that they were yet to get over. But letting go of pain is risky because it requires one to face what hurt them and take responsibility for their own healing. It also takes away the right to remain a victim and in a complaining position.

You can maintain your psychological hiding place of what was done to you, or you can be courageous and come out into the world and live freely again. Out here you may meet pain, but it's the only way you will experience pleasure and being alive.

In short, the temporary pleasure of doubting and opposing love is not worth it. If deep inside you know you need connection and intimacy, better to heal and open up again rather than hardening and becoming cynical due to pain.

- AJ The Love surgeon

Sometimes a marriage will fail because someone has not done their inner work. Perhaps they take for granted all the psychological programming they need to unlearn and work on. They lack the humidity to examine themselves and become better.

If you ever need to walk away from a partner who has become impossible to live with because of this, do not allow anyone to say that you, like all your brothers or sisters, 'cannot maintain marriage.'

It's unfortunate that the average African goes through their entire lifetime without seeing a therapist or even reading one book about psychological wellbeing. They even stigmatise mental health calling it 'going crazy.' And yet many of them grew up under very harsh conditions and so they have layers upon layers of trauma and childhood wounds.

So how can a person carrying so much pain function like a sweet, loving person in marriage? Of course they can't. They will just end up transferring their pain onto their partners and no wonder so many marriages are dead and loveless. They pass on the same sick energy to their children and the pattern goes on.

Until someone in that lineage decides to become whole. It will take them work of digging up unchallenged patterns and importing knowledge from afar off, but in the end they will bring light and wellbeing to a place that seemed 'cursed.'

If you find yourself with a descendant of this kind of dysfunctional heritage, one who abandons the work of healing, do not feel guilty if you have to part ways with them in order to stay on your journey wholeness and peace.

AJ The Love surgeon

Congratulations
Osoro Cyprian

OSORO CYPRIAN 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
First Award. History

How is your day,are you planting love or hatred????

Hi, between cheating on your wife and masturbating,which one is more sinful???

Hi AJ,post for me
It's amazing God answered my prayers of a woman that would turn me on always,I really wanted to be loved too,I really prayed that I be loyal to the woman would give me.
Today I'm s*xually starved in marriage.I cheat on my wife with the devil by ma********on 😭.I'm really not addicted to s*x,I'm addicted to her.
I really don't know peace in love anymore.
I lack motivation 🚫.She is super rude,when I touch her,
Tried celibacy in this marriage at least to fit her schedule but wow,it is not working.I just have to ma******te 🚫🚫.I'm I normal???I have never cheated though I have potential,I have two exes who really want me to have something with them behind my wife's back.
It all started that I have a bad oduor in my mouth,we stopped kissing, although I worked on it,with things the way they are, I'm afraid The Love is decreasing slowly and being replaced by hate.I really hate comparing her with my ex because I really do love her.AJ ,I have no job but I hustle and tussle for us to survive ✅,I feel like things not working for me it's because of ma********on 😭😭😭 I now want to cheat if this continues,to avoid this Devilishness staff of ma********on and see if My doors will open.

Kuna mwingine hapa amesalimia dem ako na ball niaje mzito😂😂😂💔

Sometimes things don't work out because they aren't supposed to. And you're not hurting because they didn't work out, but because of what you're focusing on. You can opt to see it as a redemptive turn of events to spare you, or a redirection towards something better. You don't have to fantasise on what you wanted it to turn into, the 'future' you had created with you in it.

You can end all your pain by a mere shift of perspective or point of view. If you have faith that you will end up in the right places, you don't grieve too long over roads that closed. You merely feel the disappointment without giving in to discouragement. You see rejection merely as a disruption, not a distortion, of your journey.

In short, pain may be inevitable but continued suffering over what hurt you is optional. You can check out and go another way. No amount of crying at the tomb of dead things will bring them back to life. Instead, it will just hasten you to the same grave.

- AJ The Love surgeon

It's easy to think that people who keep going back to their exes lack resolve. But studies show that another dynamic is usually in play, namely emotional safety.

Our nervous system is designed to keep us safe and when we have to disconnect from one place of emotional 'home,' this causes disregulation and disruption which we experience as fear of the unknown. This uncertainty is very uncomfortable and if we cannot anchor our feelings on something else soon, we quickly return to the former source.

Remember this is an emotional process, not a logical one. That's why these decisions often seem illogical.

Solution? Before you should leave you should take at least four weeks to prepare your next emotional landing. If your life is at risk and you must get out immediately, then you should try get a holding house for four weeks during which to establish a plan.

Even if you were not married and it's a breakup from a relationship, you should still establish alternative source of emotional safety.

This means new routines, new people to talk to regularly, new things to give you a sense of continuity and stability.

This is the only way to alleviate the empty and anxious feeling that follows a breakup.

(©️ AJ The Love surgeon )

Kweli watu hutoka mbali wakienda mbali zaidi.

Good morning good people.

What is your s*xual phobia? Ni nini unaogopa sana during s*x?

Here are some 7 common s*xual phobias that actually exist:

7 common s*xual phobias that actually exist - LoveMatters Africa You may have a s*xual phobia and don’t know it yet.

Akishinda ameinsist "When will I see you, utanitembelea lini?" mwambie siku utapata mtu wa kuachia mtoto. Jamaa atapotea k**a December salary 😂😂