Relationship counseling with Casmir Oguejiofor.

Walk away.

Not to teach them a lesson but because you have learnt yours.

Your worth is not determined by how others treat you but how you value yourself and not accepting treatments that reduce your worth.

I have friends both male and female before I entered into this relationship. Should I cut them off or unfriend them now I am in a relationship?

You should understand that there's nothing absolutely wrong in having and preserving your platonic friends (both genders) most especially when you are in a relationship.

Platonic friendship/relationship is one which is devoid of s*xual & romantic activities/affairs. Nothing is going on here.

But If your best friend or ordinary friend starts wanting something more than mere friendship, just know that it's time to draw the line.

If you want to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner and for them to trust you and for you not to hurt their feelings, you should learn how to set boundaries with your platonic friends at the inception of your relationship.

Set boundaries in order to limit what you do with them. Let's say that you have this male friend/female friend which is more like a sibling to you, and he/she is your shoulder to lean on whenever you are burdened. Courtesy demands that, once you enter a romantic relationship, your partner should now be your emotional resuscitator when you are down. Sometimes, it's easy to catch feelings with people we always tell our problems to. Before you know it, something we never planned will happen.

Learn to inform your platonic friends that you have started a relationship and you would like everyone to respect themselves.

Learn to be transparent with your partner on your activities with your friends.

You should be mindful when your conversation "with just a friend " is going where you don't know.

Let them know that you won't be too available to them as always because you now have someone you want to respect their feelings.

If you are doing this, your partner won't be having reasons to doubt or mistrust you.

If you really love your partner and want the relationship to last, you should know this. You can't be doing things with everyone and want your partner to trust. It's not done.

If your partner finds it hard or have a problem setting boundaries with female or male friends while in the relationship, just know that you are dealing with a cheat or potential cheat. They are not contented with you because they don't know what they want.

As November begins, here's to a month of blessings, love and abundance. 🎉🥳

I have friends both male and female before I entered my relationship. Should i cut them off or unfriend them now i am in a relationship? Read 👇

Get busy being productive, while also paying attention to your love life. With time, the right person will find you.

When your relationship starts getting boring and confusing, that shouldn't be a sign to quit right away but rather, a time to re-evaluate the relationship and discover the reasons why the spark is dead.

It should be a time when you both sit down together and have heart to heart conversations in order to sort it out about what the problem is and where it's coming from.

It should be a time when you check within yourself if there are things you are doing wrong which is making the relationship fall apart.

Don't be too hasty to take your leave.

Many people have made the mistake of leaving great relationships which they didn't even put efforts to sustain maybe because they believed that the grass is greener on the other side and they use what they see or hear on social media to rate their relationship.

It shouldn't be done that way.

You really have to understand that no relationship is ever perfect. Even your celebrities, influencers and people who flaunt their relationship whether marital/dating/courting, don't have a perfect relationship. It's all about putting efforts to make it work every day.

Great relationships are made when two imperfect people (humans) work on their imperfections/differences together and not give up on each other too soon.

NB:- But when you both have put in great efforts to make it work and it's not working, it's a sign that you should leave. You are not meant for each other.

Good morning and happy new week, friends.

Don't be that average lady that feels the reason you are broke is because you are not dating a rich guy.

You are really settling for less than you deserve, where you make all the sacrifices in your relationship.

By this, I mean that you are the only one making all the adjustments, compromises and putting in all the work to sustain your relationship.

You are the only one who apologizes when you are wrong and when they are wrong, you are the only who gives, you are the only one who tries to settle the differences amongst you both, you are the only one who calls and texts and makes sure they are ok etc. meanwhile your partner folds his/her hands and does nothing.

Isn’t that unfair? And exhausting?

Making sacrifices is part of a healthy relationship, but it should never be a one-way thing. It should be equal, with both of you making efforts to make each other happy.

Don't make the mistake of putting too much work and energy in the relationship to please your partner while they do less or nothing to reciprocate or make you feel valued.

You deserve someone who’s willing to meet you halfway. Relationships are about compromise, but you should never be the only one giving in all the time.

Apart from robbing your peace of mind, a toxic relationship changes your behavior and the way you view "love" in general.

Be careful of the kind of people you let into your life.

Your attitude and mental programming could be altered by who you mingle and go into relationship with.

Some relationships can have an negative/positive impact on your behavior and your emotional life.

I've seen people whom their morals and values changed after a relationship. While some others had their emotional well-being and self esteem messed up due to a bad/toxic relationship.

You allowed someone to walk into your life and disarranged your emotions and mental programming.

You, that used to be a peaceful and loving man/woman is now a psychopath who doesn't believe in love because your previous relationships taught and showed you that true love doesn't exist.

You that used to be a reserved and preserved lady is now addicted to alcohol, smoking and clubbing just because a guy came into your life and everything about you changed.

You that used to a disciplined guy now is s*xually addicted to every woman that crosses your path. Now, you find it hard to separate true feelings from infatuation and love from lust. Just because your girlfriend or ex-girlfriend turned you into a s*x addict.

All these and many more are the reasons you should be careful of who you date or who gets into your life.

Who you date or go into a relationship with can either make you or mar you.

What the héll do men want?

Men are scúm! Men are these, men are that.

I love him so much but I don't think he loves me.🥹

How do i know if my man loves me?

Does it mean that real men dosen't exist?

Why can't I keep a man to myself?

Why do I have this feeling that he's cheating on me?

I have done everything possible to please him, but it seems I'm not enough for him.

If at some point, you've asked yourself these questions or wonder why men act the way they do in relationships/marriage or maybe, you really want to understand the nature of a man.

Here's an opportunity for you to learn everything you need to know about men.

Join us by 8pm on Twitter (X) as we reveal deep secrets bordering on the male gender.

My Boss, Nwachukwu MacAnthony Ikenna will be speaking as well.

Click the link in the comment section to join and set your reminder.

Many people have this belief that there is a "someone special" made for them.

That is, if you don't get married to this person, your life will be ruined. But as you continue to pass through life and garner relationship experiences, you will discover that that belief is not entirely true.

To start with these questions:- Now, If you want to end up with a particular person and this person declines your love/proposal, what will you do? Will you force/impose love on someone who doesn't feel the way you feel for them? Or do you hang on to someone because you believe he/she is the "Will of God" for you?

To be honest, you can always meet and connect with another person, if you put your mind to it. You can find someone who will love you the way you love them, who will treat you with the respect you deserve and someone who will commit to you for a marriage bound relationship.

Emotional pains and toture can cripple your life and put you in a situation where you are either battling with your mental health or other health challenges. It's something you and I probably have passed through or is passing through currently.

Here's a little story of what nearly wrecked her life and what she did to come out of the situation:-

Hello, I'm Ebere Agina, a woman who has experienced what it means to be broken, betrayed, and disappointed.

I experienced loss at a tender age with the loss of my father and later my first love. I was shattered and lost hope in life itself because I didn't know what to do with myself. 💔

10 years later, I fell in love again with the man I thought brought me solace, succor, and a confidant. We started building the future we wanted with the hope of going forever journey together.

I got a loan to assist us in the future we wanted.

He started learning the skill he forever wished to but never had the opportunity to. It was a dream come through for both of us as he dived into it.

During COVID when everything was not moving, I took this decision, in his voice learning this skill was not the problem but how can I survive on it as I just lost my job and had nothing that generated me money?

I assured to stand by him which I did till he graduated only to be told one morning that he couldn't continue this relationship. Hia what happened? What was my offense?

I was depressed, broken, and shattered again. 💔

Today He is married while I'm single. The pain of disappointment and breakup especially when you are taken unawares is such that if you don't control it will lead to other mental health challenges.

Because I have gotten help, healed from the scars of the past, taken back the driver's seat of my life, and launched the strong, smart, and healthy me which is the direct opposite of what I passed through and the future I want.

I'm inviting you to join my forthcoming class where I will show you how I got over all these negative and unwanted emotions in my life and how you too can get over yours.

▶️ Are you currently fighting any emotional battles?

▶️ Are you currently depressed or find it hard to get over the past pain or breakup?

I'm inviting you for a 14-day pure emotional healing course to help you do away with the negative or unwanted emotions.

I'm running this cohort for free as long as you do these three things:

(a) You will use my service.

(b) You will give me feedback on it.

(c) You will leave a killer review if you think it deserves one.

If you are passing through any kind of emotional pain/hurt, or know someone passing through the same, I'm inviting you all to this emotional life changing class.

The host, Coach Ebere Agina is a certified life and emotional healing and self discovery coach who knows her onion. I've worked with her and also a benefactor of her expertise. I highly recommend this class to you.

The class is taking place in a private Facebook group. So use the link in the comment section to join and claim your free seat now.👇

For the ladies,

Always ensure that the relationship is defined.

When the purpose of a thing is unknown, abuse is definitely inevitable.

Stop striking relationships on mere aroused emotions and butterflies,

9 out of 10 of every nice guy you meet is liable to sweep you off your feet,

Every average man has all the potential to get you all loved up and fantasizing about love,
Men has this power,

But then, if you allow yourself to be edible by every man with this power, then quite a lot of men are gonna eat you in life,

But,

there's a way to distinguish between men who just knows how to get you in love, and men who are committed to love.

A defined relationship not only saves you from being harvested by mere hungry men with sweet tongues, it also establishes a foundation on which all the standards of your relationship is built.

When a relationship is defined, laws are created by default,

Dos and Don'ts sets themselves,

Criterias are properly and rightly aligned,

It becomes easy for you to realise when you're no longer in agreement,

A defined relationship creates a common goal which is only achievable by a commensurate input of efforts, recourses and commitment,

When a relationship is defined, you cannot be used or deceived, because you already knows the efforts required of your man for the actual intent of the relationship, because it was defined.

An undefined relationship makes you vulnerable for all men,

It creates a possibility of heartbreak and disappoinment,

It makes it easy for anyone to get into your legs, because there was no defined agreement that forbids him from such,

Undefined relationships keeps you in dating, longer than you deserve,

Undefined relationships propels unwanted pregnancy, abortions, gross s*xual sin and fornication,

Undefined relationships gives a man undefined access to your body for s*xual abuse,

Undefined relationships permits years of numerous s*x of all kinds and all styles and in all places and at all times,

Undefined relationships brings you a long way into dating without an actual sense of understanding of what you're doing.

"What do you take me for?"
"What are we to each other?"
"What am I to you?"
"What are we doing?"

These are questions you see yourself asking, when you fail to define your relationships.

Written by:- Emmanuel Vidon

Loyalty means:-

I've seen others who are richer, smarter, more physically endowed and more pretty/handsome.

But i will always choose you over and over again.

Good morning 🌻

Whether you GIVE S*X on the first date or you DELAYED S*X after 90 days or a year..

A man that will LEAVE you will LEAVE you ..

MANY have had S*X on first date and still MARRIED...many have DELAYED s*x for years and still married..

Many have also GIVEN S*X on first date and DIDN'T MARRY ...many have DELAYED s*x for months and still didn't MARRY..

The end point is ....it is God that can keep a man ...AND ALSO your value ...

You must go beyond just S*X to keep a man...early s*x or delayed s*x isn't what a man needs...

You can delay S*X and act EXPENSIVE and still loose HIM if you are not a person of PURPOSE for him ..

Your BEAUTIFUL look gets his EYES....your CHARACTER gets his HEART...but for you to get into his LIFE...you need to be a person of value and you must be relevant to his LIFE ..

While you obey God and ABSTAIN from S*X..pls add other values a man needs... Many of you kept to the command of God and still LOOSE the man ...and the next thing you are blaming God for it...

BUILD VALUE..have a FINANCIAL VALUE and BE high in demand because you are needed to build a home..

S*x doesn't build a home or your beauty...so giving him s*x early won't make him marry you....also giving him s*x late doesn't also make him marry you.

Written by Sir Onyebuchi Kalu

He got me pregnant on the day he broke my virginity at 18 and now I have 2 kids for him. I'm 27 years of age. Up till now, he has not paid my bride price. I stopped my education because of him and since then my life has been put to hold. He doesn't regard me, always abusing me. Several times, be has brought women into our bedroom and when I told him I don't like what he's doing, he keeps abusing me telling me that I don't have right in his own house. I've been managing and taking care of the kids by the groundnut I sell. Earlier this year, I told him that I'm done with the relationship. I told him to take his kids and I left the house for him. Although I still speak with my children. There's this man I've been in touch with after I left. We have been so close and I fell in love with him. He's everything I desire in a man, he helped me heal from the emotional baggages and breakdown from my past relationship. Since then, we have been dating and he knows about my past. Although I'm older than him with 2 years. We are not troubled by that. He's a business person and has a shop. Since I came in contact with him, he has changed my life and mindset, I'm no longer my old self who has low self esteem and poor self image of myself. He encouraged me to leave the village where I started working. I love him so much. And we are hoping to get married. We have had s*x several times. But my problem is, sometimes, he has this guilty conscience and it makes him feel he's doing the wrong thing by being in a relationship with another man's wife. Many times, he has advised me to go and make peace with my ex- husband and go back to my kids. But I told him that my mind has made up and nothing can stop me from going back to him. Secondly, my ex-husband has been calling, sending his people to come and beg me to come back but I've told him that I'm not coming back. The pressure is getting too much, I don't know what to do. I need your advice.

May this new week sweep away all your tiredness and fills your life with new energy. Wishing you a great week ahead!

Hey!

If anyone wants to leave your life because you made a decision not to have s*x until marriage please let them go. Do not allow anyone come in and love you out of God's fellowship, no one is worth that love, no love is worth making you live comfortable in sin. As a matter of fact, buy them a plane ticket so they can get out of your life faster than they came in.

And It doesn't matter If you have been having s*x in your relationship with someone before, if you have taken a sincere decision to rededicate your life and your relationship to God by putting an end to s*xual intimacy and your partner is not ready to cooperate with your decision because they have been too comfortable living in s*xual sin, please let them go, don't cry when they threaten to move on if s*x is no longer a part of the bargain. You cannot love them more than the decision you have made, you cannot want them enough to choose them over God.

I know how difficult this 'no s*x' decision is for us to make, especially in these times where s*x is mistaken for love, times where s*xual satisfaction is a top criteria for marriage. Sometimes when you tell your partner that you're not down for the s*x anymore they blow up and get angry real quick, drift, picking fights with you over every little thing, whether you are wrong or not, because they are angry over the fact that what they use to get for free now comes with a price; patience and abstinence. A price they are not willing or ready to pay.

From the moment you make your decision known they'll start digging up issues where there is none, because the desired can no longer be acquired. It is so sad honestly. To learn that someone who you love so much does not love you enough to stay without the pleasure of your body. So sad!

But hey, let them go, see that disappointment as a victory. Don't cry, don't weep, don't feel bad at all, it hurts yes, but see that hurt as a huge step towards winning in your marriage. There may come a time when you can't save the relationship, but you must save yourself.

You know why?

Because now you know that they are not going to love you in all seasons like they made you believe. Now you know what fuels their love for you. Now you know who they really are, and now you can see their love for what it really is. S*x is not a proof of love. It's not the best way someone can love you. So If they are staying because of the s*x, one day a better s*x will take them away from you. You can't use s*x to keep anybody (male or female).

So don't cry at all, don't cry because someone who wants you to disobey God is leaving your life, oh boy that is a victory! That was the goal in the first place right?, for the wrong ones to leave in other to make room for the right ones to come in and treat you real good without terms and conditions. So what are you crying for? And you know something else? When you sit around crying because they want to leave, you're making God feel like there's REGRET somewhere in your decision to stick to abstinence. If they decide to leave don't beg for them to stay, don't compromise, don't slimfit your abstinence to suit them, don't even bargain to continue kissing & romancing as long as you won't do pe*******on because you want to satisfy & keep them. You cannot eat the meat and say you have not tasted the soup.

C'mon move. If you were having s*x before and now they want to leave because you want to get right with God please send them a goodbye card with a bottle of coke and thank them for finally deciding not to stay and waste anymore of your time.

Written by: Peter D'Rock
The Blunt Writer

If you start talking to a potential spouse and when it’s time to talk about your individual past life, and they refuse to share by saying, “forget the past, let the past stay in the past, my brother, my sister, Run for your life.

Don’t marry anybody who on their own refuses to share about things they have done in the past. It’s a red flag.

See, they might be better now, but it’s still your right to know all that happened in the past if you want to because you need to be sure you can deal with it.

The worse thing that can happen to you is to get married and realize that what your partner did in the past is something you can not deal with.

When people say they want to tell you about their past, please let them share it. So you don’t start acting surprised tomorrow in marriage.

Also, if you hear the past and can not deal with it, or you know you will use it against them, please let them go. Don’t continue. It will be wickedness to know what you are going into and then turn tomorrow to use it against them.

Lastly, there will be consequences or rewards for everything we do today. If you know you don’t want to have to deal with consequences tomorrow, make better choices today.

Get rid of people that tell you to carry on, that it’s your body/live your life the way you want, since it's your choice.

Rather, live a life you will be happy to share with your future spouse tomorrow.

And in case you refuse, just know that when the time comes to suffer the consequences of your action today that anybody who chooses not to be with you because of it shouldn't be blamed.

They have a choice, and they should be able to choose to continue or not.

Make better choices today so you won’t have to hide or regret tomorrow. Be warned oh.

Like, comment, share
Cheers.

©Profit Eneh - Relationship Coach

I've just reached 500 followers! Thank you for continuing support. I could never have made it without each one of you. 🙏🤗🎉

If you are just starting up a relationship with a man/woman be careful of this.

Some guys/ladies want to stay
in touch with their lover all the time, especially at the beginning of a relationship.

If they're not with him/her physically, they're texting throughout the day.

While this may seem cute at the beginning, it will only fasten the
downfall of that relationship in most cases.

If you suffocate someone with attention, they might end up being more concerned about getting rid of you instead of thinking of you.

But giving someone space isn't about playing mind games either.

Rather, you want to spend quality time with them.

And the idea is that when you're not together, they'll think of the great moments you shared.

If you're a man/woman of purpose, this should be your natural course of action.

A busy person doesn't have time to suffocate someone else with attention. Rather, he plans and works diligently to spend quality.

Just like fire needs air to grow stronger, desire also needs space.

Recently, there is this belief and speculations going on that Nigeria ladies don't marry for love, rather who is financially capable.

I have taken my time to read meaning into this speculation and I came to understand that sometimes, the problem is caused by some Nigerian parents.

Due to the economic condition of the country, Most Nigerian parents have set standards for their daughters on who they must bring home as their son in-law.

You would bear with me that some of our parents nowadays, only wants a rich and successful man for their daughters without even knowing if the man is safe for their daughters. Not even knowing his source of income and if he exhibits the toxic traits of a narcissist/domestic abuser.

Sometimes, these set of parents warn their daughters to stop every relationship they are having with a genuine man who loves their daughter and is ready to give her peace of mind. Just because the guy is not that financially balanced. They will intentionally deny their daughters true love and push her to where their is corn and wine but no peace. Due to their selfish gains.

And this is causing a very big problem in the area of love, relationship and marriage.

Dear Nigerian parents, it's not safe and encouraging to push your daughters into marrying a man just because he's a cash cow" that will solve all your financial problems.

I understand the fact that you want to seize the opportunity to liberate your family financially but please, remember the safety of your daughter.

Stop pressuring your daughters into rejecting the men they love so much and marrying the men they will just meet during the Christmas period they don't even know and have not built a relationship with.

I understand that everyone deserves a better and comfortable marriage but also remember that when if you push her to marry that rich man who maybe has a narcissist trait, when domestic violence sets in, you won't have a say in that same marriage because your mouth have been covered with money, hollandaise, gifts etc. You won't have any other thing to tell her other than just "endure it"

You really need to teach your daughters how to work hard and marry for love and not for money. If a rich and successful man comes by, it's an added advantage.

Stop looking looking for a financial messiah who will marry your daughters and bear the responsibilties which you were not capable of fulfilling for them and your family.

Most of your daughters have found their peace of mind in a man who is just comfortable, but your expectations is that they marry someone who is super-duper rich without even considering if he is toxic or his source of income.

You probably may have warned your daughters not to bring just any kind of man to your house. (maybe a man who doesn't ride in the latest Mercedes Benz)

Some of you have planned on arranging only rich husbands for your daughters thereby making them not to have other options. You control their movement and conversation, who calls them and who they call, you have stopped that poor Emeka from coming to your house to see your daughter.

Remember, no condition is permanent. Poor Emeka that is responsible, God fearing, kind, selfless and well trained may be rich tomorrow if he works hard. But how will you feel when you pushed your daughter away from Emeka who would have given her peace of mind to Chief Omego 1 who is beating and shutting you all up with money?

You see, table turns fatser. Tomorrow is pregnant.

Christmas is drawing closer and maybe you are currently advising your daughters to shine their eyes and prepare for "Ndi Abroad" if peradventure, the marriage works out, the man will Japa to Abroad, leaving your daughter here in Nigeria to be carrying the burden all alone. She will be left weeping in secrets and claiming happy outside while she's lacking emotional love/support and the warmth hands of a man. Which is as a result of your idea and intiative as her parents.

Well, You can still do anything you want with this message but that's not my business.

My point here is that:-

1) You ought to train your daughters to understand that making money is not gender based (it's not for a particular gender) It's for everyone. Teach them how to work hard and make money. Teach them that they don't have to be entitled to a man's money for a living. If a rich and successful man comes along the way, it's still okay.

2) Teach your daughters how to weigh a good man aside his pocket. Money is good but it's not everything in a man. It is better to be with a man who has money no matter how little and still, he is selfless, loving and understanding than to be with a rich man where you will be crying in silence. Dear parents, I understand the general African believe that a man's beauty is his money. But a man's value and true worth is not by his money.
Remember what the bible said:- A good reputation is better than an expensive perfume. Teach your daughters to love a man because of love and not because of his monetary value. Teach her to love and work hard alongside a man who is visionary and goal driven instead of dumping him to go be with a man whose source of income is questionable. Finally, teach her to marry who she loves and who loves her and not just only, who is financially buoyant.

3) Teach your daughters to follow your marital footsteps. That is if you are proud of your marital life.

Teach them that no marriage is perfect but they can join hands and build a perfect marriage. Let them not use social media marriages as a yardstick for theirs. Most couples on social media will only show you what you want to see. They will allow you see the sweet side, scrapping away the bitter side of their marriage. They will tell you that without money, marriage is useless. Social media will make you judge blindly and eliminate the good men seeking for your hands in marriage. It will also make you selective and your expectations in men will be very high and unattainable.

Teach your daughters to follow your marital footsteps if actually your marital records are good. And not using social media as a yardstick to examine their potential spouse. Be their marital role model.

The end ~Until I write to you again.✍️