Brenda Finlayson Counsellor

Five signs you're a highly sensitive person – and why that's not a bad thing Reactive to music, loud noises and the possibility of confrontation? You might be an HSP

Busting out of the covid blues

We need to overcome our pandemic-induced social anxiety - here's how There has been a significant decline in the casual contact that fosters psychological wellbeing - and it's time for that to change.

The wisdom of age, from the wisest of women in our age

Simone de Beauvoir recommends we fight for ourselves as we age | Psyche Ideas Old age, for Simone de Beauvoir, is not shameful or frightening but should be celebrated as an opportunity to be authentic

When food becomes poison, there's a way out

The anorexia combo - do you want fries with that? Jade Varney's experience with anorexia came with an unexpected pile of terrible side dishes; but it was the recovery where the real surprise emerged.

Maybe it's time to listen to that little voice inside ...

How to know if you’re addicted | Psyche Guides Do you feel uneasy about your drinking or drug use? Recognising the signs of addiction can be the first step to recovery

You might find a gem or two in here ...

Covid-19: How to survive impending self-isolation without losing your mind Surviving enforced agoraphobia without losing your marbles requires planning, people and patience.

There's so much in this joyful story about Tara Brach's spiritual quest

When meditation turns toxic: the woman exposing spiritual sexism Since suffering a miscarriage at a women’s retreat, Tara Brach has tried to reform the world of meditation by arming its practitioners with a single weapon: self-compassion

Spirituality is a brain state we can all reach, religious or not | Psyche Ideas Neuroscience shows that spiritual experiences are correlated with brain states that we can all aim for, religious or not

Mental flexibility = ready for anything that comes your way

How to perform well under pressure | Psyche Guides Ditch the tough talk, it won’t help. Instead cultivate your mental flexibility so you can handle whatever comes your way

We're in this together ...

Covid-19: Tips to buffer uncertainty by looking after our minds OPINION: We're having to really dig deep at the moment, as individuals, whānau, and a country - here are some ways you can look after yourself.

Getting on with it

New research identifies key to discouraging procrastination A recent study done by researchers at the University of Otago has found the key to discourage people from procrastinating lies in the timing of the deadline.

The power of the page, the wisdom of words ...

Life after loneliness: ‘I was homeless, hungry, skint and isolated. Then I found the secret of reconnection’ I had to choose between heating and eating – and ended up going to the library for warmth. There I was drawn into other worlds, bringing me much closer to other people

Escaping diet culture: My relationship with body image is healthy yet complicated OPINION: Women are drowning on the capitalist hamster wheel of never being good enough, pretty enough, thin enough, or young enough. And we can’t get off because no one is willing to help us

Tune down anxiety ... but don't tune it out

Why anxiety can be good for us Anxiety happens. It's our body's early warning system. So start listening to it says Dr Wendy Suzuki. She says anxiety can actually be a good thing, telling us something needs to change in our lives. She explains how to listen to it and learn from it in her book, Good Anxiety: Harnessing the Power o...

It took my son’s meltdown and a lightbulb moment for me to stop parenting on autopilot | Conal Hanna I always dealt with my son’s resistance to swimming class with cuddles, reassurance and rewards. Then one day I tried something radical: listening to him and empathising

Surviving and thriving ... how you can allow anxiety to sit in the backseat, but don’t allow it to drive

I’ve lost my family, my house, my country. I know we can live beyond grief | Michelle Tom The Christchurch earthquake was just one the many tragedies Michelle Tom survived. From adversity, she says, we can all learn to harness fear, resist panic, and practise trust

A few surprises in here ...

Mental illness and substance use: genes show a two-way street | Psyche Ideas Why are smoking, alcohol and cannabis use linked to mental illness? The answer is complex but valuable for mental health

Covid-19 lockdown stress: Know your trigger points, psychologist advises Feelings of anxiety and the potential for conflict are among the side-effects of the nation's lockdown, a clinical psychologist says.

The lockdown vices you need to watch out for, according to a psychologist It's tempting to throw healthy eating and exercise to the wind, but there's a reason you should be mindful of these seven lockdown vices.

Trust your instincts to spot the undercover narcissist

Not all narcissists are grandiose – the ‘vulnerable’ type can be just as dangerous The introverted narcissist is harder to spot and may be more sinister

Letting go can be easy ...

‘I part with things quite easily’: Meshel Laurie on her favourite objects – and why she’s not attached to them One of Australia’s most recognised voices is also a Buddhist and has a philosophical approach to material things

Cheers! Here's to the unvarnished truth about alcohol ...

Time to face the brutal truth: there’s no glamour at the bottom of a glass Alcohol addiction has long been romanticised in films, TV shows, books and adverts. Let’s look at the destructive drudgery and sheer sorrow of the disease instead

Breathe and be whole ...

How to breathe | Psyche Guides Whether your aim is improved health, mental calm or achieving transcendence, breathing techniques can help you get there

Set yourself free by developing a growth mindset toward anxiety | Psyche Ideas Everyone feels anxious in moments of not knowing. It’s your beliefs about anxiety that influence what you do next

If radical acceptance seems like a contradiction in terms, please read on ...

Free yourself from the tentacles of pain with radical acceptance – Joshua Coleman | Aeon Essays The painful feelings you avoid grow twisted in the dark. By facing your sorrows and struggles you can take back your life

Worry not ... there are some gems in this piece about taking control of thoughts

How to stop overthinking | Psyche Guides Grappling with your thoughts will leave you even more entangled in worry. Use metacognitive strategies to break free

How to find the sweet spot when your emotional snowglobe is whirling

How 'emotional inflammation' could impact your mental health Stacey Colino is the co-author of Emotional Inflammation: Discover your Triggers and Reclaim Your Equilibrium During Anxious Times. She likens emotional inflammation to living in a snow globe that's being continuously shaken up.

Cheer up! The happiness guru on how to feel better Meik Wiking is a world expert on what makes us feel happier. So, is there a simple fix?