Lauren Hunt, Esq.

Choosing actions that demonstrate change over mere words is always a step in the right direction. True progress in any relationship comes from real transformation, not just promises.

Happy Father's Day to the amazing dads, grandfathers, and father figures who show up, love their children, and guide them throughout life. Father's Day can be complicated for so many of us. If that's you, whether you're navigating blended families or missing someone special today, I’m wishing you peace. 🙏🤍

I think it’s great when parents get along after divorce, but I always recommend co-parents have an agreement in place.

Getting a court order for custody or a parenting plan isn’t about creating contention, it’s about clarity.

👉It secures everyone’s rights and expectations, making the road ahead smoother for both parents and children.

Ensuring that the guidelines in place will be upheld and there to refer back to in case communication between co-parents deteriorates for some reason.

Here's your reminder to stop letting the opinions of others dictate your decisions, especially when it comes to divorce. Although, your family and friends mean well, their advice might be coming from a place of fear. And do they truly know what's going on in your marriage? Probably not.

Instead of trying to meet everyone's expectations, focus on what's truly best for you and your children. If you find yourself facing criticism or doubt from family and friends, remember that you're the one who knows your situation best.

Trust your instincts and prioritize the well-being of your family above all else. When you focus on what's best for you and the kids, you'll rarely make the wrong decision.

You've got this!

One of the best parts of being an attorney is the opportunity to be creative. Wait - what!? That's right! Attorneys can be creative too!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

We will sit together and work out a creative strategy to follow based on your overarching goals and values. Then, we will use that strategy to guide you through your divorce - making appropriate changes whenever needed.

And, at every turn, we will consider what options are/aren't available to you, the financial and emotional costs to them, and how each option may or may not serve you. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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My approach to divorce takes dedication, creativity, and a willingness to step out of the "this is how we do it" box. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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But, let me tell you - it's worth it *every* time.

If I could go back in time and tell my younger self anything, it would be this:

"Your parents are going through a difficult time, but it's not because of you. It's okay to feel hurt, confused, and even angry.

You're going to get through this, even if it feels like the world is falling apart right now. “ 💛

As parents, we want to shield our kids from the pain and that can be challenging when we are suffering. Do your best and don't be so hard on yourself.

Here are some tips for supporting your children during a divorce:

1. Reassure them of your love: Remind your children that your love for them is constant and unconditional.

2. Encourage open communication: Encourage your children to express their feelings, whether they are angry, sad, or confused. Let them know it's okay to talk about their emotions, and you will listen without judgment.

3. Be patient: It takes time for children to process the changes brought on by divorce. Be patient and give them the time and space they need to adjust.

4. Avoid blaming or criticizing the other parent: No matter what your feelings towards your ex-spouse may be, it's important to avoid speaking ill of them in front of your children.

5. Maintain routines: Whenever possible, keep their daily routines and activities consistent. This can provide a sense of stability and normalcy during a time of upheaval.

6. Seek professional help if needed: If your child is struggling with the divorce, it may be helpful to seek assistance from a therapist or counselor who specializes in working with children and families.

Reach out for support and resources to help you and your children during and after the process.

🔔Battling with a co-parent who won't stop throwing offensive messages your way? Here's what you can do!👇

🚫Kick off by setting precise limits on the kind of messages you're prepared to engage with and reply to.

For instance, you might reply with a message like:
�"Hello, kindly limit our correspondence to discussions about the children’s routine or any urgent matters that demand immediate attention. I will only reply to such messages." Stick to your guns and avoid responding to any bitter messages.

Then, apply the BIFF method for your communication, a tactic designed to minimize conflict. Dig a little into my previous posts for a series I presented on BIFF, or just do a quick Google search! There are several books available to guide you in reducing conflict through your communication style.

Document everything by keeing records of all communication. If your co-parent's behavior becomes abusive or inappropriate, this evidence can be vital.

Finally, manage your own expectations regarding the impact of these adjustments. Keep in mind that you can only manage your own actions. If your co-parent chooses to keep fanning the flames of conflict, their behavior is beyond your control*.

From my experience with clients, when they employ these strategies, they stop fueling the conflict... Their ex doesn't receive the reaction they were aiming for. They were looking to push ALL your buttons, and when they fail to provoke the expected response, their efforts to vent their fury via text 🙏 should hopefully taper off.

*If your co-parent's conduct becomes extreme or abusive, don't hesitate to reach out to a lawyer to discuss legal measures for your and your children's safety right away.

Moreover, I suggest contacting a co-parenting coach to assist you in tackling the issues you're facing. They will provide you with strategies to reduce conflict and enhance your co-parenting relationship!

Finally, weekends are for unwinding, not navigating through unnecessary tensions. No more walking on eggshells! You can finally create a space where relaxation isn't just a concept but a reality.

Untangling your life with your partner brings a mix of emotions and challenges. But once you’ve crossed that bridge, you can create your next chapter on your terms.

What are your plans for the weekend?

There's a special rhythm we've all learned how to dance to as a mom, right? You aren't surprised when someone wakes up with a runny nose on a Wednesday morning when you have an important meeting to attend, or you wake up to the kitchen drawers open and pots and pans all over the floor because someone under 3ft. tall was working intensely on rearranging your kitchen!

It can be chaotic, but it's chaos you would never wish to remove from your life. To all the amazing moms out there, Happy Mother's Day!

Wishing you extra peaceful moments today.🤍

As a parent myself, I struggle with some of the choices I am making and hoping they are the right ones for our kids. I know many of my clients do too. While I don't know your situation, I know that if you're up late at night scrolling for tips and hacks to support your kids through a difficult transition like divorce or a developmental complication or even how to make them a balanced meal they'll eat – you are a good mom/dad.

Don't second guess yourself. Keep going. Put that energy worrying whether you're doing the right thing and pour it into your kids and into your self-care.

Some of my clients are genuinely concerned about the potential financial vulnerability they may face once their spouse learns of an impending divorce. Others grapple with feelings of shame due to their lack of awareness about their financial situation.

Firstly, it's crucial to acknowledge that financial abuse is unacceptable. If you're worried about being left without resources, seeking legal assistance immediately should be your priority. Secondly, there's no need to feel ashamed or embarrassed about your financial knowledge. Taking proactive steps to gain clarity is essential.

Start by gathering relevant documentation, organizing your financial information, and seeking guidance from professionals. Take control of your financial future by committing to understanding your finances.

Swipe to learn the basics of marital property versus separate property to gain insight into how assets will be divided.

👉 The process of equitable distribution involves three steps: classification, valuation, and division.

Stay tuned for tomorrow's post, where I'll cover valuation in more detail!

Let me know your questions in the comments.

It's understandable. Things didn't turn out the way you planned, but mourning is part of the process.

It's okay to be sad and still want to go. 🤍

Little by little collaborative divorce is gaining in popularity and I'm so happy about that! It's such a great option for couples who don't want judges making decisions for their kids or their future.

If you're considering going collaborative, save this post for later! This approach isn't just for amicable splits; it's a proactive way to craft respectful, personalized agreements.

It can save time and money by avoiding costly court battles, and fostering a cooperative atmosphere for all involved. Swipe through to learn more. I hope this is helpful! 🕊️

Sometimes peace comes not from understanding why someone's behavior was not in line with their promises, but from deciding their reasons no longer impact your future.

When I work with clients who have been in a difficult relationship for many years or who have been betrayed by their partner repeatedly, they've reached this point a long time before meeting with me.

They're ready to focus on their future and it's an empowering place to be. If you're not there yet, you will be. It will get better. Hang in there. 🤍

Breaking the news of a divorce to your children is a conversation no parent looks forward to, but it's important for their well-being that it's handled with care and compassion.

Here are some guidelines to help you handle this difficult discussion:

1. Choose the Right Time: Pick a moment when you and your children have time to discuss the news without rush, ideally when you can be together as a family in a familiar and comfortable setting.

2. Present a United Front: If possible, both parents should be present for the conversation. This shows unity and reassures your children that despite the changes, you will continue to co-parent effectively.

3. Keep It Simple and Clear: Use age-appropriate language to explain what is happening. It’s important to convey that while the living arrangements might change, your love for them does not. Avoid sharing complex adult issues and keep the explanation straightforward.

4. Reassure Them: Children might feel they are to blame. It’s important to reassure them that the divorce is an adult decision and has nothing to do with them. Make it clear that both parents will always love them and that their relationship with both of you will continue.

5. Be Ready for Reactions: Be prepared for a range of emotions, from sadness and confusion to anger. Allow them to express their feelings and support them through their emotions. Let them know it’s okay to ask questions and that you are there to answer them.

6. Discuss What Changes and What Stays the Same: Kids will want to know how their daily lives will be affected. Explain what will change and what will remain the same, especially in terms of where they will live, school, and their daily routines.

7. Offer Continuous Support: The initial conversation is just the beginning. Keep the lines of communication open and check in regularly on how they are feeling. Consider professional support if needed to help them adjust to the new family dynamics.

I hope this is helpful!

You did that. 💥

You provided a peaceful home.

You took time for yourself to nourish your body and soul after suffering for who knows how long.

You made sure to create a safe and peaceful space for your new life where your kids can feel secure.

Supporting children’s during separation, through divorce, and afterwards is a lot to manage while you are trying to heal and acclimate to your new life as well.

Remember how far you’re come. Everyday you’re getting stronger.

Co-parenting peacefully isn't always pretty. 😟 It can feel like you're the only one choosing to do the right thing, but here is a super important fact that you need to remember when you have one of those days.

Your child's happiness and health is worth it.

You’re doing your best in a difficult situation, and that’s something to be proud of. Your strength and dedication are making a difference, even on the hardest days. You may not see it now, but your kids will experience the benefits of your hard work and pillow-screaming exercises. 🙃

Have you ever noticed that?

It cuts much deeper when the betrayal comes from those closest to you. Unfortunately, I've worked with many clients deceived by their partners, whether financial secrets or infidelity - your promises matter. Your word matters.

If you're trying to move on from betrayal, I highly recommend counseling and working with a and/or .

Healing doesn't happen overnight, but you will make your way to the other side of this.

Is it just me? 😅 Target to the rescue every time.

Happy Easter!🐰

As a divorce attorney, I've seen many clients struggle with letting go of the past. It's understandable, right? You're mourning a future you've planned that will never happen. Healing is a process, but remember, focusing on your future is where healing happens.

✔Schedule your first counseling appointment.
✔Envision how you want your life to look like after divorce.
✔Start making plans to reach those goals.

Focus on building a positive next chapter for yourself and your family. I like to tell my clients to make a vision board or at least a list and look at it often. Start inching your way there and in a year your life could look completely different than it is now. Just keep going. ✨

In a moment of revelation during therapy, a simple question shifted my entire perspective on conflict. 🌟 I was experiencing a relentless back-and-forth that felt like a never-ending tug of war, my therapist proposed, ‘What if you drop the rope?’ Suddenly, the endless struggle seemed ... optional.

This question opened a door of possibilities, steering me away from conflict and towards empowering solutions within my control. It reminded me that sometimes, stepping back can actually move us forward. Letting go doesn’t mean giving up; it means choosing to focus on actionable steps we can take, not the deadlock we’re in.

Imagine the peace and progress possible when we decide to ‘drop the rope’ and solve problems on our terms. 🕊️

To all the out there, you're doing a great job. You've got this!

Today is the day! Join me and 28 other professionals for this LIVE 3-day summit to help you understand the financial aspect of your divorce so you can make the best decisions for you and your family.

The interviews will remain available (and FREE) to watch for 24 hours after they go live on the summit website!

🔍 We'll dive into co-parenting finances, retaining the family home, managing debt, and ensuring you receive your rightful share of assets and much more.

The best part? Access to this wealth of knowledge is completely FREE!

I hope to see you there. Just go to the link on my page and register now.

We are live starting tomorrow! 🥳 For 3 days, starting on March 19, 2024, Tracy Coenen of the is bringing together 28 divorce, money, and relationship experts who will give you actionable strategies and tools for mastering your money in your divorce.

You’ll hear about divorce money issues related to co-parenting, keeping the family home, getting out of debt, getting your share of the money, and more.

To sign up for your free ticket, visit the website below and mark your calendars!

https://www.divorcemoneyguide.com/a/2147758004/scGdnycF

For 3 days, starting on March 19, 2024, Tracy Coenen of the Divorce Money Guide is bringing together 28 divorce, money, and relationship experts who will give you actionable strategies and tools for mastering your money in your divorce.

You’ll hear about divorce money issues related to co-parenting, keeping the family home, getting out of debt, getting your share of the money, and more.

To sign up for your free ticket, visit the website below and mark your calendars!

https://www.divorcemoneyguide.com/a/2147758004/scGdnycF

Your mindset can significantly impact the decisions you make during divorce. 💭

Think about this: What impact would approaching your divorce with resentment have on the decisions you make? You might find yourself creating conflict, as well as prolonging negotiations (and increasing the legal bills) for both parties involved. But if you shift your perspective towards one of acceptance with an eye on the future you open the door to a smoother transition and a better tomorrow for you and your family.

Here are some tips to help you make the right decisions for your family while working with your attorney:

✅Prioritize the well-being of your children above all else.

✅Focus on long-term solutions rather than short-term gains.

✅Communicate openly and honestly with your attorney about your goals and concerns.

✅Stay organized and keep all necessary documents and information readily accessible.

✅Take time to consider the potential consequences of each decision before making a final choice.

Stay resilient, stay focused, and keep your eyes on the road ahead.

When it feels like your world is collapsing, the most empowering action you can take is to immerse yourself in learning everything possible about the situation at hand.

If you're in this season, I have a collection of free resources available. These guides and tools are designed to equip you with foundational information to help you make informed decisions every step of the way.

Educating yourself about the divorce process can significantly impact your outcome, allowing you to approach each decision with confidence. Whether you're just starting out or finding your way through the intricacies of legal proceedings, these resources are here to support you.

👉Take whatever you need and leave the rest. Swipe to see what's available and don't forget to save this post. https://linktr.ee/laurenhuntesq

I hope this is helpful!

Your marriage is over for a reason, right? Maybe you both grew apart or you found getting along more and more challenging as the years went by. Whatever the case may be, the issues that you had as a married couple are not going to disappear because your marriage is over. If you're co-parenting, it makes sense to figure out how to get to a point where you both can communicate respectfully and with your children's well-being in mind.

👉Peaceful co-parenting requires a blend of clear communication and mutual respect. To reduce conflict in co-parenting, adopting a collaborative problem-solving approach can be incredibly effective. Instead of approaching discussions as battles to be won, view them as opportunities to work together for your children's best interests. Start by clearly stating the issue, then invite your co-parent to share their perspective. Together, brainstorm possible solutions, weighing the pros and cons of each. This method not only minimizes conflict but also models constructive communication and teamwork for your children. By focusing on mutual goals rather than individual wins, you create a more harmonious and supportive co-parenting relationship.

Here's how to elevate your co-parenting conversations, including examples of BIFF (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm) responses for common scenarios:

1. Dealing with Schedule Changes:

Scenario: Your co-parent requests a last-minute change to the weekend schedule.
BIFF Response: "I understand you need to switch weekends due to unforeseen circumstances. While this time it's not possible, let's discuss how we can prevent this in the future and come up with a backup plan for such situations."

2. Discussing Child-Related Expenses:

Scenario: There's a disagreement about who should cover the cost of extracurricular activities.

BIFF Response: "Let's review our budget and find a fair solution for extracurricular expenses. How about we split the cost for these activities, as outlined in our agreement, to ensure our child continues to enjoy them?"

I hope this helps!