Rachel Weiss, MSW, LCSW

https://youtu.be/hBMUPgwLaO0
I hope the few people that see this post actually click on this link included. Or just look up Steven Slate's TEDx Talk Tahoe City- The Clean Slate Addiction Site: https://youtu.be/hBMUPgwLaO0 You can also check out his website at https://www.thecleanslate.org/

Anyone that knows me, even slightly, knows that I share information built on actual evidence (not the evidence-based treatments you are told are built on "evidence"). Gabor Mate once stated "I only wish we paid attention to the evidence."
Many people get angry when they here this evidence for the first time, things that I have come to understand through a deep dive into research on "addiction" and "recovery." The idea of addiction as a disease, that it's incurable, that you will end up in "jails, institution and death," and that somehow your Higher Power (which is the Christian God by the way- I mean they say the Lords Prayer at the end of many meetings! As a Jew, that was the first time I heard the Lords Prayer and the Serenity Prayer, which teach you to lay down, not fight, not speak out, not use your power for good. Rather it's about believing you are powerless! I could write books about this, and the problems with this, including the changes in the brain that have been labeled as the "disease of addiction" by primarily Nora Volkow of NIH (someone I studied and taught in the "drug recovery programs" I ran and worked for for much of my life. I myself was labeled an "addict" (an agnostic/ borderline athiest, cultural and full-blooded Jew, was told that if I didn't have faith, in this Christian Higher Power, to have faith in very sick individuals (the program often made them sick), and surrounded by sexual predators, and I as many others, were told that I needed to surrender my power to this higher power, and then I was to pass the message along, and laugh at them (sometimes silently, sometimes quietly, sometimes out loud in someone's face) when they resisted, or questioned, or were "non-compliant" with the 12-step message- as the belief was they were in "denial." How patronizing! And the more I wake up to this truth, the depth of the abuse and indoctrination- borderline cult beliefs- I am shocked how I myself got indoctrinated, not so much that I could actually bear more than a few meetings, or insitutions, and then gather up my life and move ahead- but that indoctrination spread to my clients. i was much nicer about it, but I remember thinking people were in denial, and thinking they needed to be abstinent for the rest of their lives, and going to meetings, and feeling ashamed, or shamed by others for having a half a beer when I wanted (those that know me know how slow I drink and I don't finish my drinks often. Therapists like myself, trained that the client is the expert in their issues and their solutions, and their lives, and that they need compassion and empathy and love, and to be listened to and heard... These same therapists (i include myself in this group), said those things, or at least thought them most days, and yet as soon as someone labeled an "addict, with a chronically, progressive, incurable disease," says to us, "I can stop when I want, I'm not an addict, this doesn't have control of me, and i won't end up in more instituions, or dead from this or incarcerated," we snicker, our loud or silently, some confront these people- I had chairs thrown at me once by an "enlightened" man who ran a halfway house i lived in for a few months- what set him off was that I was doing well and i was making my own intelligent decisions, and was thinking I was going to make it and that I actually completed this program of this abuisve and highly indoctrinated man himself- how dare this woman feel she's ok, or how dare she be proud of herself. How dare she be empowered and successful and leave me! It was like he needed to be my higher power, and I needed to surrender to him forever...." So, if therapists are taught that the client is the expert, why don't we listen when every single time clients with different addictions say to us, "I'm not an addict, it doesn't have control over me, this is not a lifelong battle, it'something i enjoy once in a while, or often, but it's a phase, I want to do that, it makes me happy." Why not listen to that and believe that? Imagine what powerful message that would bring to someone overdoing it with a compulsive behavior. I understand drugs are dangerious, increasingly so, for some people.
But here are the the stats- the EVIDENCE- shows that most people using any kind of substance, including he**in, just stop after awhile- as well as most of us who could qualify as having alcohol abuse disorder as teenagers and young adults. They move on - for the most part. It's called "spontaneous remission," as most people do their drugs, drink their drinks excessively, and then later they just stop, on their own, and without having to carry this false lable of having an incurable progressive disease- if that was true. the majority of people who go through even the heaviest of substance use, are just fine after a few years. That is about 90% of people. The people who don't do well, who have horrifying worsening addictins that does land them in jails, instifutions and death, the evidence has shown repeatedly in a multitude of studies, that the people who do the worst and have the worst consequenses are those that end up in treatment, bombarded with 12-step and God, and ideas that we need to tear you down before we buif you up, That addicts are just liars "whenever their lips are moving." But they were telling the truth, until people are indoctrinated to believe that God and the others around you know what you need to do, and how you feel, and you are not to say anything in contrary. This is how to CREATE AN ADDICT" not help one. and the power of thinking you are powerless, stupid, have to let everyone else tell you what you should do. That creates suffering, and a need to move to what makes you feel good (the substances), And, if you are indoctrinated to believe you have a disease and your powerless, FOREVER, well that leads to the power we give it over our minds. REmember, cult leaders have tactics, one is to say "I know you! I understand you! I have identified the problem, and I am the only one who has the solutionj to your problem- so you need me!"
For any therapist think about this, as it's the opposite foundation, ethics, and effective way of helping others, is to tear them down and then make them depend on you for the solution.
i said earlier on in this venting, and rambling post, that everything we do changes the brain, thus drugs and alchohol and other compulsions chnge our brains, just as being held and loved in the crib as a baby, just as taking drum or dance lessons, or writing an incredible paper, or never hearing your parents say "I love you" or walking down the street knowing you could die, every second of everyday if you are a black boy or black man in the US, just as what we eat- all of thse things, everthing done repetitively especially changes the brain and affects how it develops.
Another point, I'll make this my last one, is that we don't treat people with actual diseases like cancer, or heart disease like they cant recover, we tell them "you're going to beat it,"and we don't have doctors treating them with a very strange Big Book, that makes no sense and was written after the man's own indoctrination in a cult- the cult of Frank Buchman-who wrote the steps the 12-steps came from. We don't hand a person with pancreatic cancer a book to read daily, or a rehab to go to where if your rich, your get to cure your "disease" by walking on a beach and swimming, followed by hours of talk about a Christian God that you must surrender to to heal- imagine the uproar if that's how we treated the sick. No chemotherapy for you! Just read this book everyday, find a way to find how you had a blame in everything bad that ever happened to you, including people who abused or neglected you as children, owners of halfways houses who throw chairs at a woman just to tear her down for feeling happy and proud and powerful and in control!. Imagine telling a sick person that their disease is because of how bad they were to their parents, or abusive spouses..... imagine no chemo, no science, no evidence being utilized, and just treating cancer patients like we do addicts- going from abusive tactics, to the love-bombing tactics, the walks on the beach, telling you how proud they are of you, while an hour later being punished, by being told you're a liar, or being told you will die if you don't surrender to a Higer Power- even if it's a chair????When you imagine treating someone with systic fibrosis, or MS, or Cancer as those deemed to be addicts are pushed into treatment, where there's notreatment, or there's great treatmentmixed up still with theconstant reminders of powerless. need to surrender, that a substance has contol over you,losing those you love, when you most need them, imagine abandoning a loved one or a stranger suffering from a terminal illness and then returning whenthenb8boe was read, and only then giving the sick person some love, only once the person stsrts to figure out to lie about it, that takes away those honest authentic moments we all needwhen we tell the truth, orasmcuh of htetruth they csn hsnflr. ot rrnpough og thr truth to get lovr. be seen,to have people making u feel special.
beating someoe down, just to claim to builf thrm back up, in the name of belief that it's whats right... who doesn't feel so good with the person who always put u down, and then suddenly you felt special. That's how we treat "addicts'"just think about how they are rewarded when they do ollow instructions and at least preach the beliefs, which eventually do becomeour beliefs. Imagine if a doctor wouldn't helpyou unless his familyleft him,unless the personstrts to believe or pretend to belief- then they are joined in embraces and we love you and surrounded by =aprayer filled with god. if addictbegan to believe it orprented to, then you get the belonging, the welcoming back,the love..... imagine telling a late stage parkinsons patient is treated with onlyGod and walks on the beaches, or getting in ttouble for doing anything that was their desisin.it seems sick and crazy, bc we treat didease with science and qualifiifed people knowing the right treatment for him, proven from science..Addictio is not a didease and if people reallly beliived that the treatment would change, and may be more effective And if peole knew that most people have spontaneous remisssssin and its over.but the reminder those going to treatment (even great places mostlu), are indoctrinated with 12-step, which has the biggest failure rate ofe any ohter tx,
and I lied, but look it up- AA has a top- the top controls worldwide AA- well they are ver very wealthy...you can seee cultinfrastructure.

Our Relationship to Addiction | Steven Slate | TEDxTahoeCity Addiction treatment doesn’t cure addicts, it creates addicts. Our current approach fails by teaching helplessness. We can help by changing our attitudes, and...

EMDR TEDx Talk

Great TEDx Talk about one woman's experience with healing from Trauma from EMDR. Inspiring and informative!

rachelweisscounseling.com This is a very informative and inspiring short TEDx Talk about a woman's recovery through trauma with EMDR therapy. I encourage you to watch it! (learn more about EMDR here, and Trauma Recovery here.) Tricia Kim Walsh shows us how to better understand ourselves in this poignant, personal talk. Her s

Ways To Be Trauma-Informed: Tips Towards Understanding Body Language, Appropriate Touch, Boundaries, and Consent

Check out my new Journal post, and, if inspired, tell me what you think!
https://www.rachelweisscounseling.com/journal/2017/11/2/ways-to-be-trauma-informed

rachelweisscounseling.com I want to share a few ways you can help others feel safer in the world, keeping in mind that you are constantly surrounded by people who have been through various kinds of traumas, big and little. Trauma survivors do not wear a sign announcing it; most survivors work, function, socialize, etc. So ju

Addictions and Compulsions

Here's some information on how I view addictions and compulsions and how I work with my clients on these issues.

rachelweisscounseling.com I view Addictions and Compulsions as a way to manage the emotional dysregulation that stems from unresolved trauma and attachment issues. For most it's also a way to maintain a sense of control for those who have struggled with Powerlessness / Helplessness growing up, and/or as adults (in tr

I want to share a few ways you can help others feel safer in the world, keeping in mind that you are constantly surrounded by people who have been through various kinds of traumas, big and little. Trauma survivors do not wear a sign announcing it; most survivors work, function, socialize, etc. So just assume everyone around you is a survivor. And that's not too far off from the truth... unfortunately.

Here are some ways you can contribute to creating a more trauma-informed, respectful, conscientious and loving world:

1. Don't just hug someone or kiss them on the cheek without asking if it's ok first. Read the person's body language as well. Most will say "yes, it's ok" but their body language is showing you otherwise. Maybe they tense up when you ask them, or if you do hug or kiss them. Maybe their "yes" is not convincing and enthusiastic. Pay attention to body language.

2. If a person tells you they do not want a hug, a kiss on the cheek or even a handshake, do NOT ask why. Don't assume they are "cold" and not nice, loving or affectionate. Don't take it personally. Don't assume they are not happy to meet you, see you or talk with you.

3. Keep this in mind for friends of yours (and even romantic partners). Don't assume your friends/ partners don't need to be asked if it's ok to make physical contact. Feel free to talk with your friends, partners or coworkers about their preferences with touch; inquire and you will only learn more about the people in your life! (Again, don't ask for reasons or explanations. If the person wants to tell you they will!)

4. Allow people to say "no" sometimes and "yes" other times. Everyone feels different at different times. People are allowed to change their minds!

5. NEVER approach a person from behind and grab or touch them.

6. NEVER talk or scream out to a woman walking alone. Most women do not feel safe walking alone. And often are not safe walking alone.

7. Pay attention to how close you stand, sit or walk near a person. And pay attention to body language here. If someone keeps moving a bit further away when you're around them, turning away, avoiding eye contact, don't move closer to them! Respect their physical boundary.

I could add many more. But that's a good start to learning to respect others and not assuming that because you like to touch, be close or affectionate, or have strangers talk to you in the street when alone, that everyone else does.

*Last thing. Not everyone who prefers more physical space or less touching, have survived a horrific trauma, been sexually abused or have PTSD. Some people are just not into it! (Or not with everyone all the time.) We can all feel different at different times. And, we are all different; it's a beautiful thing!

Home - Asheville Counseling and Psychotherapy by Rachel Weiss

Hi All!!!! My website is live. It's linked to this page. And the address is www.rachelweisscounseling.com

Still a work in progress so keep checking back. I'm wanting it to be a resource for anyone wanting to learn about trauma and healing. Knowledge is power! So this site is designed to be a resource for people to learn about the profound effects of trauma on individuals, communities and the world.

I have a "Journal" on there so I'll be posting information constantly as I learn and discover new information and resources. And to let you peek into my mind a bit around this passion of mine. I believe trauma is the root of all physical, economic, emotional
and political issues. (This has been proven too- not just a "belief.") We need to pay attention to it. Too many people are suffering alone, ashamed and in silence. We blame them and attack them when they break that silence! I want to give voice, and hope.

(Please rate me with some stars as well, reviews are very welcome too! I need some validation.... as I tell my own clients. So I'm asking for it. 🙂)

*A HUGE shout out to Heather Shirin Neff of Neff Creative. She's helped to make all my ideas come to life. And those who know me. I'm a handful... Never ending ideas!!!! 🙂 Thanks Heather! She's still working on it daily.... as i said, it's a work in progress! Cards are on their way!

rachelweisscounseling.com Rachel Weiss - Asheville Counseling and Psychotherapy. Specialties include Trauma Recovery, EMDR, Somatic - Oriented Psychotherapy, Couples Therapy, located in Asheville NC

Rachel Weiss, MSW, LCSW

Thank You for the love and support coming in for my beloved practice! You will see this page grow, Including all of the sharing of information here, and in my upcoming website where I'll be sharing A LOT as well in my "Journal." I'm always learning and I'm a total "trauma nerd!" I cannot get enough! 🙂 So I will be sharing awesome things weekly. FYI: The site is almost ready to launch!

PLEASE show your love even more by rating me on this page, and I welcome and encourage reviews from people who I've worked with professionally, or clinically, or people who are friends and/or fellow clinicians. As well as those I went to Smith with.... just anyone that has some words they can and want to express.... it would mean the world to me.

And for the individuals scared to pick up a phone and call for help..... They need to hear that this works. So please like my page, follow me, rate me, and if you could/would ..... write a review! I'd be so grateful and honored to receive some reviews.
(And thank you to the 2 people who already did rate and review me-it truly means the world to me! 💕)

This is a video on the home page of my website that I'll be sharing soon... a few more days :)

Sharing a quote from my first true teachers about Trauma.... Judy Herman.... The "dialectic of trauma" AKA "double-think"....

"The conflict between the will to deny horrible events and the will to proclaim them aloud is the central dialectic of psychological trauma.....

The ORDINARY RESPONSE TO ATROCITIES is to banish them from consciousness. Certain violations of the social contract are too terrible to utter aloud: this is the meaning of the word unspeakable.

Atrocities, however, refuse to be buried. Equally as powerful as the desire to deny atrocities is the conviction that denial does not work. Folk wisdom is filled with ghosts who refuse to rest in their graves until their stories are told.......

Remembering and telling the truth about terrible events are prerequisites both for the restoration of the social order and for the healing of individual victims.

The conflict between the will to deny horrible events and the will to proclaim them aloud is the central dialectic of psychological trauma. People who have survived atrocities often tell their stories in a highly emotional, contradictory, and fragmented manner that undermines their credibility and thereby serves the twin imperatives of truth-telling and secrecy. When the truth is finally recognized, survivors can begin their recovery. But far too often secrecy prevails, and the story of the traumatic event surfaces not as a verbal narrative but as a symptom.

The psychological distress symptoms of traumatized people simultaneously call attention to the existence of an unspeakable secret and deflect attention from it. This is most apparent in the way traumatized people alternate between feeling numb and reliving the event. The dialectic of trauma gives rise to complicated, sometimes uncanny alterations of consciousness, which George Orwell, one of the committed truth-tellers of our century, called "doublethink," and which mental health professionals, searching for calm, precise language, call "dissociation." It results in protean, dramatic, and often bizarre symptoms of hysteria which Freud recognized a century ago as disguised communications about sexual abuse in childhood. . . .”

― Judith Lewis Herman-
Book: "Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror"

More office and headshots! Really trying to make this a healing space.

Props to Kelsey Crowe Photography

Welcome to the VERY beginning of my FB page for my Psychotherapy and Counseling Practice. More to come soon.
(Feel free to Rate me, and/or write a review! Definitely follow me and "like me.") Thanks for your support! So appreciated!
Sending out my love to all of you!