Hugs for Harrison, Inc.

Save the date! 🗓

Ladies, join us for a Moms’ Night Out with national speaker, author, and podcast host, Rebekah Lyons!

Friday, May 24, 7pm-9pm at the Vault in Gainesville, GA.

If you'd be interested in sponsoring this event, reach out to [email protected]

Meet the Zehners:

Our daughter Hallie Haven was delivered quiet at 24 weeks on December 30th 2021. We got 4 weeks after finding low fluid and small stature at her anatomy scan to search for answers and settle our hearts into trusting the Lord. We prayed for a clear mind and full presence; to be fully present for the life that I carried in my womb. We didn't find any answers, and still don’t have any. But we did find that the foundation built on our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ cannot be shaken. Hallie brought every nice idea I had about Jesus being the Prince of Peace, Wonderful Counselor and Everlasting God to concrete truths in my life. He is who he says he is. She died shortly after Christmas and her due date was Easter. It is not lost on me that Hallie’s story points to the most beautiful pictures of Jesus. Born as a baby, he died on the cross and rose again so that we may be saved.

So we grieve our 3rd daughter who I will miss growing up with her 2 older sisters, Jovie and Lucie and now her younger sister Islie. We grieve that we never heard her cry. But because of Jesus, we look forward to hearing her laugh one day. Hallie Haven means Hallelujah to sing praise to the Lord in heaven. So all our days we will sing.

Hugs 4 Harrison has been such a gift to me and my family. Navigating this unique and ever present grief can feel so isolating. H4H not only provides counseling, but Sam and her team provide a community. No one wants to be apart of this grief club but walking along aside these other strong mama’s and families is powerful. Thank you Sam, H4H sponsors and donors for all you do for us.

Have you become a Hug Hero yet?

Hugs for Harrison is sustained by the generous and overwhelming donations from our supports. And as a way to say thank you to those who give on a recurring basis, we've launched the Hug Hero Program.

When you sign up for continual giving, we'll send you a swag gift with items of thanks. Plus, you'll be the first to know about upcoming events, speakers, and plans for H4H.

Every donation makes a difference in the lives of our loss families. If you'd like to become a Hug Hero, follow the link in our bio!

We've extended registration for our Hug Groups through the first week in February!

If you'd like to sign up or are interested in learning more about them, email [email protected].

Meet the Johnsons, an H4H family:

On August 8th, 2023, our son, Bear Jones Johnson, was stillborn. Bear is our first child. We didn't know if he was a boy or a girl since we waited to find out his gender at birth.

Our pregnancy with Bear was a truly wonderful and healthy one. We were 41 weeks and 2 days pregnant when I went into labor naturally with him in our home on a Saturday afternoon. Our birth story is long, having taken place in multiple settings over three days. In short, I labored for three days in a home birth setting with no pain medication. At the recommendation of our midwife, we headed to the hospital so I could get an epidural and rest in order to deliver. I was exhausted and my body had been trying to push him out several times even though I was not fully dilated. Everything seemed fine- his heartbeat was beating strong right before we left for the hospital. At our arrival at the hospital, they could not find his heartbeat. I was rushed into emergency surgery for a c-section. When I woke up from anesthesia, my husband was holding our son in his arms. He told me it was a boy-our precious Bear. And that he had not survived. The doctors were not able to tell us for certain why his heart had stopped beating. The following hours were filled with our friends and loved ones coming to be with us. We held Bear's body in our arms until Wednesday night when we said our final goodbyes to his little body.

The days, weeks, and months following have been the hardest and most painful times of our lives. All of our dreams have been shattered, and our hearts have been aching for our baby that we miss. By God's grace, we have been surrounded by love and peace. The Lord has shown us His steadfast love as we wake up every day with the ache in our hearts of not having Bear. Bear gave us the precious gift of loving the Lord more than we did before. We know Bear is safe and in perfect peace in Heaven. And we know we will see, touch, and hold him again when we join him there. Until then, we wait upon the Lord, who holds our every moment and comforts us in our pain. He is always good.

Thinking of you today and always🧡

We are with you.

Meet the Edwards, a Hugs for Harrison Family:

We are the Edwards family: Spencer, Paige, River, Rhett and we have a beautiful daughter in heaven, Emmaline Paige. Emma was born on November 12, 2022. She was healthy and absolutely perfect. We had almost 5 full months of life with our girl until Easter morning. We went to get her up and dressed for church when our lives were shattered forever. Our girl had passed away peacefully in her sleep to go be with Jesus.

Our family owns a pest control company and has been servicing George and Carolyn Brinson’s home for many, many years. Spencer normally sprays, but since the service was due right around the time of Emma’s passing, my (Paige’s) dad went to spray and mentioned the passing of his granddaughter to Mrs. Carolyn Brinson. Next thing I knew, Sam called me and brought me a Hug Basket with the most thoughtful and precious gifts that I still use every single day. She hugged me, listened to my story, cried with me, shared her story and the mission for H4H, and just knew how to comfort me in those early days. Sam reaches out often to check on me and offered grievance counseling for whenever I was ready. One day I took her up on it, and thought “what could it hurt?” I am so so thankful that I did! She connected me to Jessica Chicken who has been a God-send to me and my grief journey. I will forever be grateful for Sam and the ministry that God is calling her to through Hugs for Harrison!

** We are so grateful for the families who trust us with their stories and let us bear witness to their healing journey. You are not alone.

He paved the way for suffering and walks with us in it, and He is more than worthy of our trust and gratitude as we push on towards Heaven.

Our circumstances do not define His goodness. His sacrifice does.

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

We're still floating after the first annual Hope Ball this past weekend! Thank you to every sponsor, donor, bidder, guest, and incredible team member behind the scenes that made this fundraiser a success. Our wheels are already turning for next year's event!

📸: Joycannisphotography

The most common question I receive is this: “How do I support my friend that just lost her baby?”

Friendships will inevitably shift and change during grief, giving the broken-hearted yet another loss to mourn. Many loss mamas desire to find new friendships in those who have experienced a similar loss, and while I love that so much, I also deeply desire for the village around them to simply do better. I’m tired of seeing friendships break because people just don’t understand how to support their grieving friend, or they don’t have the patience needed to do so.

It’s so simple. Just be present and patient.
Say less, show up more.
Stop asking how you can help. Just help.
Check on them again and again and again. Don’t stop after a couple of weeks.
Say their baby’s name.
Set reminders on your calendar and on your phone to especially remember and reach out on harder days (due dates, Heaven days, birthdays, etc).

You show up and you stay. In the dark and uncomfortable and inconvenient.
When you feel brought down by the weight of their pain, remember they will be crushed without you helping to carry it. Allow stepping into someone’s pain to teach you and mold you more into His likeness, allowing you to lay down your life-your desires, your routines, your feelings-for your friend, exemplifying John 15:13.

In doing so, you will earn a front row seat to celebrate in their rejoicing and redemption of pain, but you don’t get that honor unless you walk with them in the darkness first.

Your friend will tell a story one day about who was there for them, and of course it will include a lot of new families who experienced the loss of a baby, but it can also include you.

I love the term attachment of rainbows to babies after loss, the beautiful image of God’s promise of hope following a storm, the beauty in the pain and the reward for suffering. Yet, even in the glory of a rainbow sighting, the dark clouds remain, the heavy, damp air lingers from the storm that has ravaged our hearts. The storm is over, but not forgotten. The pain doesn’t disappear, but instead takes a back seat to the splendor of the rainbow. The miracle appears while the memories of the storm are still visible and close.

It’s beautiful, friends. It’s God.

For all my fellow loss families fighting for their rainbow, I’m headed to battle alongside you in prayer and in hope that your miracle is on its way.

🌈

The devil is loud, and yet the Lord seems to whisper. Or maybe He’s speaking loudly but we are amidst so much noise we just can’t hear Him as well. But He promises that if we seek Him with all of our heart, we will find Him. (Jeremiah 29:13)

Grief has a way of changing through the years, often becoming sneakier. We cannot let up on the work to unpack and uproot what is hidden in our hearts that could potentially cause harm.

Lately, I’ve been praying Psalm 139:23-24, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.”

The One who created your precious baby and is holding that sweet life now, also created and is holding YOU. Allow Him into your heart to do the deep tilling necessary to produce abundant fruit and a life that experiences rich joy despite circumstances.

With you all the way, friends.

Thank you for helping in the healing!

“But the news about Him was spreading even farther, and large crowds were gathering to hear Him and to be healed of their sicknesses. But Jesus Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray.” Luke 5:15-16

If Jesus did it, so should we.
While I will preach community over isolation over and over again, there is also a time and a place for silence and solitude. We need to be intentional and deliberate about dedicating moments to retreat from the demands on our hearts and minds, and meet with our Heavenly Father in prayer.



Grief creates chaos and constant noise in our minds, trauma trapping us in a cycle of pain and anxiety and fear. We don’t fight this with more noise, busyness, and chaos. We find peace when we keep our minds fixed on Him. (Isaiah 26:3).

Rage is one of the common feelings associated with the loss of a baby, and it is such a powerful emotion that it needs a powerful physical outlet.

Here are some ideas on how to safely release the rage, gathered from professionals as well as other moms and dads of loss:
-Throw large blocks of ice down onto the pavement to shatter them
-Scream into a pillow, or somewhere private
-Run hard/fast/long
-Lift weights
-Hit baseballs
-Punch a pillow or a heavy-weight bag

What helped you release the rage in a safe and productive way?

The enemy will be out to destroy your marriage. Don’t let him.

Dwell on 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and continue to choose one another, remembering you are on the same team.

Be patient, be kind. Do not be easily angered with your spouse and do not keep record of wrongs. Protect one another, trust one another, hope and persevere together.

Cheering you on as you navigate the messy road of grief in marriage. We are here to support you all the way!

"When you exercise, it increases endorphins, dopamine, adrenaline and endocannabinoid—these are all brain chemicals associated with feeling happy, feeling confident, feeling capable, feeling less anxiety and stress and even less physical pain." -Dr. Kelly McGonical

Even if it's just to the mailbox, find some way to move each day. To get out of the bed can feel monumental, but I promise you will be glad you did. Take a stroll around the block, take a yoga class with a friend...find something you enjoy and do it. It won't be easy, and your mind will tell you otherwise but push it aside and make a commitment to move. It will absolutely aid in both your physical and mental healing.

Aside from your grief, you are probably experiencing the physical effects of labor and delivery, or perhaps healing from a c-section or D & C. Your body has been through something incredibly traumatic, and you need to give it special care. Be patient with your body, rest, and take it slow.

Has your milk come in? This will feel so unfair and often times comes on without warning and we never expect it. You will need to grab some cabbage leaves and sports bras, and express just enough not to get engorged. It's cruel, I know. It's horrible. But not having anyone talk about it or help you with it is even worse.

Take time. Heal. Sleep. Hydrate. Use heating pads and cozy blankets and squishy socks. Your physical body, like your heart, needs patience and grace to heal.

What's one thing you wished you knew about postpartum recovery before leaving the hospital? Drop your comments below.

Happy Father’s Day! What a loaded sentence full of hope, joy, happiness, grief, wounds, wandering what-if, thankfulness, promise, anger, joy, sadness, laughs.

I have been blessed to have 3 kiddos. Kate (9), Harrison (Heaven), Hope (5). Kate and Hope are full of energy and love for each other. They are smart, beautiful, energetic, athletic, curious, eager to learn, love their Church, love their friends, love family time, love to travel, among many other things. On the first Father’s Day following Harrison's heaven day and many other days since I have struggled with wanting Harrison here with me on earth so we can play baseball, fish, watch sports…do “guy” things. The further I get from his heaven day the quicker those thoughts seem to be replaced with the reminder that I will get to be with Harrison for eternity in Heaven. The thought of being with Harrison one day soon floods me with gratitude, praise, and thankfulness, and it is my hope that each of you will have that fullness that we all lack, especially after the loss of a child. I certainly do not have the answers for “why,” and I have lived the hurt that so many of you have been the recipient of, but I would like to encourage and nudge you to focus on the goodness and promise that we can all focus on--God’s grace and fullness. Each of our journey’s are different but at times can seem so similar. I think that is so we can lean on our community in times of need. We are not promised easy times and smooth sailing. We will all face tough times and sometimes these tough times can feel like they will never relent. I would like to challenge you to view this adversity as something you will overcome and know that you will be better for it. I do not know what “better” will mean for each of you, but I know that if you cast your gaze to the Heavens there is a hope and a fulfillment that only God can provide.

It has been 2,318 days since Harrison went to heaven. (As of June 5th). I wish I could tell you some of the memories of that night, images of that night, conversations during the delivery, and doctor interactions during the delivery have faded. Mine have not. They are still very real. Almost as if it just occurred in the last week. Do I still get overcome with grief and sadness? Yes, I do. Less now than it was 6+ years ago but the recollection of events that night are still very real. When I see dads with boys, do I wish my boy was with me here on earth? Yes, I do. However, I have 2 beautiful girls I get to love, pour in to, play games with, and get the daily reminder that God is good and I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams.

My hope for each of you is to know that your pain is unique to you- others do not understand what you went through, but I want you to look through the lens of assuming the best in others' comments when they are trying to console you through words or actions. Those who do reach out, do love you and care for you. Sometimes the words they offer do not sound right or maybe are not the words we thought we needed to hear at that moment, but the fact that they are reaching out is what you should focus on. Be thankful when you hear from those who love you. Do not critique their words. Be thankful and tell them thank you.

I would like for you to take your “heaven day” and do something hard. Run a race, climb a mountain, swim laps at the local pool until exhaustion, do pull ups until failure… twice, run until you have to walk home, workout until you are exhausted, ride the bike until you can’t. Get outside in God’s creation and turn that day into a day you create an etched memory for yourself. Invite your family and friends to be a part of it. Reward yourself on your “heaven day” with a nice meal that you rarely have. Open that nice bottle of wine you have been saving. Invite the entire family over for a feast like you would on Thanksgiving or Christmas. Visit the graveside and release a balloon with a note tied to it. Celebrate because you are one day closer to heaven and getting to spend eternity with your child that went to heaven too soon and also, more importantly, a homecoming in eternity with your Heavenly Father who loves you, your family, and your kids more than we'll ever be able to comprehend.

Happy Father's Day, gents!

Bryan

Healing does not come easily. You have to work for it. Hard. You have to want it.

This will look differently for everyone, but here are some of the ways in which Bryan and I did "grief work" as we navigated the loss of Harrison.

-Journaling/Blogging
-Writing letters to your baby
-Looking at pictures of your baby
-Visiting his/her gravesite
-Running a race/endurance training
-Building something
-Gardening/planting something in baby's memory
-CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy with a grief counselor/therapist)

What type of grief work helped you?

Savannah artist, , has donated a commission piece that will be placed in each Hug Basket going forward. It is absolutely beautiful and conveys the simultaneous dichotomy of love and longing of a mother snuggling her precious newborn baby in the nape of her neck.

This image, inspired by our logo, depicts the love we share with our babies now and forever. The soft, whispering pastels feel heavenly while the incorporated light blues and pinks make this a universal piece that will truly touch each family who receives it.

Thank you, Louis! Please visit his profile to get your own unique piece!

This is a sensitive topic, but an important one.

You may need a season of medication under the guidance of a medical professional.

"Grief and loss affect the brain and body in many different ways. They can cause changes in memory, behavior, sleep, and body function, affecting the immune system as well as the heart. It can also lead to cognitive effects, such as brain fog. The brain's goal? Survival." -Dr. Lisa M. Shulman

With the havoc of hormones and the fight or flight irrational systems going haywire in the brain, sometimes we need medication to help us bridge gaps and aid us in our healing. It isn't a sign of weakness, but a sign of bravery and strength knowing that you may need some help to heal your brain. Anxiety and depression are common symptoms of loss, and depending on your story you may even suffer from PTSD. If you feel like you know what to do, but are struggling to do it, or you know you need some help for the sake of your mental well-being, please seek professional advice. You may or may not need medication in addition to all of your other healthy strategies you have implemented on your road to healing.

The power of touch.

Jesus used it in healing others. Remember the woman who had battled bleeding for 12 years? She knew if she could only touch his cloak, she would be healed.

Hugs for Harrison, while I love the alliteration (English nerd), is also very intentional with its name.

In early 2020, I heard the Lord whisper to give hugs away that year on Giving Tuesday in memory of our boy. So, we did, we squished people and our people squished people with tons of cheek smooshed hugs. We unleashed the power of a hug, of being physically present for someone. Hugs relax even the hardest of hearts and softens them to receive healing. Just two months after our first Hugs for Harrison luncheon at Northside Hospital, the world shut down as the pandemic swooped in and in a moment, all hugs and touch and community outside the walls of our home ceased.

And we are just now beginning to see the effects of the pandemic, with study after study showing the devastating impacts on mental health when physical presence and community is lost.

We need hugs more than ever, and those who have lost a baby need your hugs, too. It'll probably make them cry, but that's okay. In fact, it's good. It shows the hug is working and helping them soften to receive the Lord's comforts for their broken hearts. Let's be a community that is physically present for those who are grieving, with hands on shoulders, arms wrapped in embrace, hands held. Be there, literally, for those in need.

Oh, how we are all built for community, but after a tragedy you need it more than ever. The human instinct will be to isolate, to hide, to silence phone calls and pull the covers back over your head in the morning. The devil fights to isolate you and get you to think you are all alone. He comes to steal, to kill, and to destroy, and in order to do that he will try to get you to isolate in your sorrow. Do not allow it. Choose to do this in community, with the support and love of others.

But I encourage you, please don't. Fight the urge to be alone.
Find others who've experienced the loss of a baby, who can walk alongside you and share in what you are feeling.

We want to be that for you, a community that swarms you with support as you navigate this unknown path of grief.

Ten precious fingers,
Ten sweet toes.
Each imprinted with the swirl of God’s magnificent design.
Uniquely created for life,
Yet called Home in death.
Death follows life,
And his life matters.
We remember you, my baby.
Eyes squeezed tightly closed, picturing these ten tiny fingers and toes,
Longing to kiss them a million times over.
Love and miss you, my bud. To Heaven and back, I love you so.

You may not want this, but oh how most of us need this. A professional who knows how to help you process this impossible pain is a gift that we want to give you. To have someone that is a pastoral counselor, combined with the certifications and experience with grief and bereavement (Thanatology, specifically), is such a helpful resource.

We know how expensive it is, and we want to take away that reason to not go see a therapist. So at Hugs for Harrison, we take care of the cost for you for that first difficult year post loss, sending you to the absolute best in the field.

Never are we more desperate to hear from the Lord as when we are grieving. Cling to Him and His promises in scripture.

Read the Bible, every day, seeking to hear from Him, and create space in your lives to read it carefully, deeply, soaking in each word as a gift from Him to listen to and cherish.

I promise, He'll speak, and you'll encounter incomparable healing from the words of Him alone, as He leads you to our true Hope.