Katie Bartley Therapy

Great read! ❤️

Yale’s Happiness Professor Says Anxiety Is Destroying Her Students The cognitive scientist Laurie Santos says “we’re fighting cultural forces that are telling us, ‘You’re not happy enough.’”

My 43 yr old self needs to be reminded about this just as much as my teenage clients and let’s face it, everyone. But goodness, why is it so easy to assume everyone is having a better and more beautiful experience than you? This is such a common issue in my office as of late and it makes me really sad. There is beauty, joy and love everywhere but sometimes we have to really stop and allow ourselves to see it and believe it for ourselves. ❤️

Gottman Therapy has a great tenet: Turn Towards vs Away. This essentially comes down to acknowledging your partner/relationship vs dismissing them. One of the most common dismissive phrases is “get over it.” Virtually every individual or couple I work with can recount a time where someone important to them said this to them and how much it stung and made them feel small and invalidated. Instead of trying to silence someone’s feelings try turning towards them and say, “tell me more,” or “how are you feeling about that?” And when you tell yourself to “get over it,” try turning towards yourself and offer yourself grace to know that whatever the issue is has stayed with you for a reason and it is something to explore, not stifle. ❤️

Happy New Year everyone! I don’t mean to start this year on a downer but the reality is many of you had tough 2021’s. I really loved the image this quote conjured for me and hope it is encouraging to you as well. Where are you planted this year? ❤️

This is a topic I am passionate about. I meet with a lot of young women who have shared similar stories. Parents, the second you give your kids a phone is the second they have access to p**n. And before you tell me they can’t see it or won’t or whatever, the content is readily available on just about any device from a friend, older siblings, teammate and so on. Talk to your kids about p**n. It’s not if they will see it, it’s when so arm them with the knowledge to know what they are seeing and watching is incredibly destructive.

Billie Eilish Says P**n Fixation Starting At Age 11 'Destroyed' Her Brain The "Bad Guy" singer said violent s*x videos warped her perspective on healthy relationships.

I cannot recommend following Nedra Tawwab enough. She is an amazingly thoughtful therapist and full of wisdom. This one is just as much for me as for any of you out there. Especially going into another potentially stressful holiday period. But something I constantly strive to improve on. Where others need advocacy and assertiveness encouragement, there are many, like myself, (looking at you Enneagram 8’s) that need encouragement to be still and silent sometimes. Here’s to knowing and owning where you might fall and making an effort to grow. ❤️

Happy Thanksgiving! While also sincerely acknowledging it is not happy for everyone. Hugs to those of you today too. ❤️

Love me some reframing. Hustle vs Health. ❤️

Most people wait far too long to initiate and try therapy. So many of us have gotten the message that we have to be in full blown crisis before we beg for help. But sometimes the best gift you can yourself is working on YOU just because it may help you now, in the next crisis or after you’ve survived one. ❤️

Good stuff. ❤️

My new book Clarity & Connection is now available https://www.amazon.com/Clarity-Connection-Yung-Pueblo/dp/1524860484/

As many of us have kids that head back to school this week or already have gone back, here’s a few things to keep in mind. Our kids are watching us allllll the time. And how we respond and discuss various issues are likely how they will respond and discuss as well. ❤️

Love Dr. Hina Talib, MD - teenhealthdoc on IG She is a great resource rooted in science and love. ❤️

Hi! Dr Hina here and I share about teens and parenting. Follow for more.

I was supposed to post this at 8 am today but got distracted, as those of you in my stories know.

These are straight from y'all from a question box recently.

Many of these hit home for me in terms of what my tween & teen patients tell me they need to hear now.

So, gentle reminder. Say the things that were unsaid to you and say them often and in ways that reach your teens. Be creative. Roll with the eye-rolls.

An important addition as I read this list and in light of all that's going on you. Tell your kids they are safe and what you are doing to keep them that way. Focus on what we can control and flex those advocacy muscles when you need to.

Drop a heart if you remember feeling like you needed to hear this when you were young 🥰

What would you add? What creative ways do you have of communicating these things in your families?

Such a great graphic for those considering/in or even out of therapy. Thank you for this Anxiety Healer (on IG). ❤️

Hey teen parents, check this out. I love this graphic and the words on it so much and had to share. ❤️

Hi! Dr. Hina here and I share about teen health, wellness and parenting. Follow  for more.

Spotted on Facebook, these lovely words by parent Kristi Reed 👏🏼

One of the most meaningful parts about my time here is connecting with and learning from parents and other professionals who work with teens. There are almost as many teachers, counselors, coaches and therapists here as there are parents. There are so many parents of 8-10 year olds too prepping for the next step. And then of course some teens to keep me/us in check (your DMs are the most thoughtful 🤗

One of the best compliments I have gotten from a follower is that my page makes them feel more excited about working with or raising tweens and teens. This is exactly what I aim to do:

👉🏼To empower y’all with tools to understand and connect with your teens so as to flip the common narrative about teenagers that is largely disparaging.

Anyhoo, this is a great list. I would add that these apply to middle school just as much as high schoolers.

How about you - what would you add? What surprised you or do you wish you had prepared for. Did this resonate with you - drop a ❤️ and share 🙏🏼 with others who care about teens.

NOTE: If You Know Someone in Crisis, call the National Su***de Prevention Lifeline (Lifeline) at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or text the Crisis Text Line (text HELLO to 741741). Both services are free and available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. All calls are confidential.

Very good post, had to share. ❤️

Emotional constipation is the result of bottling up your emotions over time. When you finally, it may feel like the walls are caving in.

Feel often, and do it without apologizing. For humans, it's normal (and expected) to have feelings and express them.

A friend just shared this so I don’t know original poster but it’s too good not to pass on. Grief isn’t linear or predictable. It doesn’t just disappear one day but the phrase most commonly used is a “new normal.” And thus, new and insanely difficult growth. ❤️

I’m in awe of Naomi’s strength and fortitude in this moment. But there are obviously a lot of thoughts out there about her and this latest move. What do y’all think? Mental health warrior or Avoidant & Unrealistic Princess?

It takes courage to honor yourself.

Recognizing when your mental health is being impacted and choosing to pivot is a way to take care of yourself.

Whether with couples or individuals, so much of therapy revolves around relationships. We are very companionship and connection oriented. But conflict is also inevitable and learning how to manage conflict is a Gottman staple. Here’s some good thoughts from them too. ❤️

There is so much good in these words. Read on. ❤️

My friend Dr. Hillary McBride wrote this on IG yesterday:

"Thinking about each of you healing from things you can't talk about."

And I had to put my phone down and walk outside to catch my breath. This. This lonely, hard place.

I want to add to her lovely words, because I felt so seen and loved by them.

Thinking about each of you making the hardest possible decision for a loved one who is unwilling or unable to make it for themself.

Thinking about each of you suffering in ways you are keeping secret out of shame, which is a liar.

Thinking about each of you who can't get three straight hours of sleep because you are so worried about someone.

Thinking about each of you learning that you can't fix or solve or even mend someone else's broken heart, which is so terrible to discover.

Thinking about each of you reaching for the most unhealthy, destructive coping mechanisms because you are so tired and scared. And this causes shame which makes you more tired and scared.

Thinking about each of you wading through the shock or maybe grief of a ruined expectation, something you thought was for sure.

Thinking about each of you at the absolute bottom of the ocean with one of your kids, feeling alone and out of your depth.

Thinking about each of you whose main relationship isn't at all what it appears to be, and only you know.

Thinking about each of you who need to call the doctor, or the counselor, and you know it but can't make your fingers dial.

Thinking about how each of you is so loved by God. So very and deeply and impossibly loved. Not just loved...cherished. That your health and family and relationships and wellbeing matters. It matters to God. You aren't alone. You never were. And you never will be.

You aren't alone in your pain. There are so many of us out here. I'd venture to say most of us are fighting invisible or impossible battles.

Reach out. Make the call. Say the thing out loud. Check yourself in. Make the hard but right choice. Admit what is just true, because truth is shame's mortal enemy. Call your person. Go to a meeting. Ask for help. Say today: "Enough."

Lay it down. Hand it over. Release the shame. You are utterly beloved.

Some great stuff here. ❤️

Some wise words from one of my favorites. Timing and maturity for sure impact the success of relationships. ❤️

Love this beautiful pic and the words alongside it. ❤️ BLOOM! Wonder Doodles

Love this post. ❤️

It's important to respect other people's feelings even when you disagree with them. No one can determine an appropriate way to feel for another person.

Sometimes you can hurt people without intentionally trying to do so.

I once joked with my husband that he should be in my brain for five minutes and then I wrote everything that came into my brain down on a piece of paper and he was all 😳. I am actually not a very anxious person but when I do feel anxiety, I feel it big. And typically around sleep times. Over time I have learned a few strategies that work for me but everyone is different and might need a different approach. What are you go to anxiety reduction techniques? ❤️

Hey teen parents, this is a good one. And follow on IG for more nuggets of wisdom. ❤️

Some great info from the Gottman’s for couples but really any relationship. Happy Friday all! ❤️

This seems so obvious and simple, right? And yet can be really difficult for many. Especially people pleasers. But those are also the same folks that typically treat people with a lot of kindness and grace. Just remember to extend that same kindness and grace to yourself. ❤️

Saw this yesterday and kind of slapped me in the face. I’ve hit my breaking point on Covid lately and all the isolation and things we have somehow convinced ourselves we don’t miss. I MISS THEM! Anyone else? ❤️

Calling all people pleasers, conflict avoiders and what many of us Ennegram fans know as “Helpers.” ❤️