Hope for Healing Counseling LLC

Ten Things Bereaved Parents Wish You Knew

1. Please don't be afraid to talk to me about my child. My child lived and was very important to me, and it is a comfort to me to know that he or she was important to you, too. My child is pretty much always on my mind anyway...you're not going to "remind" me that he or she is gone.

2. If I cry when you speak of my child, it isn't because you have hurt me. My child's death is the cause of my tears. You have talked about my child and allowed me to share my grief and I thank you for both.

3. If I seem absent-minded and forgetful, that's because I am! "Grief Brain" is a common malady in bereaved parents. I'm really not losing my mind, but sometimes I may feel like I am.

4. Please don't expect my grieving to be over in six months, or even a year. The early months may be the most traumatic for me, but please understand that my grief will never fully end until the day I am reunited with my child in Heaven. And though it may sound strange, I don't really want my pain to completely go away....it helps me feel connected to my child.

5. When you ask me how I'm doing, that's a really hard question for me to answer. I will probably tell you I'm fine or I'm doing okay, but neither one of us has enough time for me to fully and accurately answer that question.

6. Please excuse me if I seem rude at times. Sometimes I just don't have the emotional stamina to participate in small talk and keep the smile on my face. I may just have to " check out" for awhile.

7. Please don't tell me you understand or that you understand how I feel. Unless you have lost a child, you cannot understand how it feels. I pray that you will never know how I feel.

8. Being a bereaved parent is not contagious, so please don't shy away from me. I need your support now more than ever before.

9. You may see me struggling emotionally sometimes, but this is just me trying to survive. This does not mean that I have lost my faith. For a variety of reasons, anywhere I am or anything I’m doing anymore is just a very emotional place to be. But I’m trying.

10. Please understand that the loss of a child changes a person. When my child died, a large part of me died with him or her. I am not the same person that I was before my child died and I will never be that person again.

Author Unknown

I know many people in the Bennington/Pownal community are concerned about what and how to say to their children at this terribly heartbreaking time, here are some ideas:

When Children Experience Death

Possible Emotional Responses ... -Sadness or depression -Confusion (about why adults are upset, location of deceased, what is going on) -Feeling abandoned/deserted *left behind by loved one *others not emotionally able to provide usual care or emotional support -Loneliness -Anxiety or Panic *Separation Anxiety *Worry about impact or change *Panic about own health: "I have a bump. Is it cancer? I'm going to die, too!" -Guilt or responsibility taking -Anger

Possible Behavioral Responses ... -Crying or pouting -Rapid shifts between crying/withdrawal and laughing/playing/active participation -Regression (thumb sucking, baby talk, etc.) -Aggression (Among children experiencing a significant Joss, 1/4-1/3 engage in unprovoked violence. Bolby, 1980) -Overactive or high energy "Busy Bee" -Asks many questions [Adults misinterpret matter-of-fact questions, "Will Granny be cold under ground?, as weird or morbid. These questions are normal for young children coming to terms with death.] -Frequently brings up deceased -Refuses to discuss deceased -Sleep disturbances: insomnia refuses to sleep or go to bed, early morning awakening -Becomes overly self-reliant -Displays care taking behaviors.

Possible Cognitive Responses ... -Varying levels of understanding according to age... *older children generally personify death as bogey man, grim reaper, or ghost *5 and under: death is not final, no understanding of causes or "forever," expect dead to come back to life, view death as sleeping *5-9: accept that the person has died, do not accept that death will happen to everyone, may ask what "dead" is -Curiosity about death or deceased experiences (Is she hungry? Where is Boomer?) -Takes Responsibility: Cause and Effect Punishment Relationship: "Something bad has happened to me, so I must have done something bad to deserve it." Magical Voodoo Thinking: "I wished my sister would go away and now she's dead. I did it."

Possible Social Responses ... -Need to feel included>may demand to play with others or have teacher's time -Takes on a care taking role> makes self indispensable

Helping Children Adjust to Death

* Help the child feel secure. -Remind the child he/she is loved and liked. -Provide a special stuffed toy for company. -Maintain stability ... require the child to follow classroom as always. -Give some extra attention.

* Be available. -Let the child know that you know someone died. -Answer the child's questions. Be sure you understand exactly what they want to know. -Discuss what the child is feeling and has been told with family members.

* Acknowledge and validate the child's expression of feelings. -Allow the child to grieve. Do NOT distract him/her from sadness or painful feelings. -Validate and express your own feelings: "I felt sad for you when I heard your dog died." -Normalize the wide range of emotions the child may feel. "All of your feelings are ok." -Be empathetic, but NEVER ASSUME YOU KNOW HOW A GRIEVING PERSON IS FEELING. -Suggest methods for expressing feelings (art, dramatic play, physical activity). -Let the child know that some days/he will feel better. -Read books about feelings.

* Help the child address feelings of guilt. -Explain that s/he did not cause death. -Correct "Voodoo Thinking": Wishing someone harm or dead does not make them die.

* Help the child remember his/her loved one. -Draw a picture or write a story about the deceased. -Remember together the good times the child had with the deceased. -Encourage adults to give the child something that belonged to the deceased.

* Let the child know what to expect. -Explain what will happen at the funeral or wake (take family's religion into account).

* Avoid using euphemisms like "passed on" or "went to sleep." -These are easily misinterpreted by children who frequently take words literally.

* Before the student returns to class, let other students know. -Explain the situation as honestly as possible. -Make it clear that it is not appropriate to tease about death or loss. -Offer suggestions on how the children might be able to help.

* Whenever possible, provide children with death education. -If a class pet dies, discuss this, and create a memorial service. -Include death in your description of the life cycle. -Occasionally point out dead bugs and plants on nature walks. -Read books in which characters die or have died. -If children mention a well-known figure who has died, discuss their thoughts/feelings.

Happy Volunteer Appreciation Week to all of my fellow HAP faculty peeps! It's a pleasure to work with you!

🙌 It's National Volunteer Appreciation Week, and we want to express our heartfelt gratitude to our incredible volunteers.

The passion, commitment, and kindness of our volunteers inspires us every day.

Join us in celebrating these incredible people throughout the week, who give their time and expertise to make the world a better place. 🌍❤️

Music on the Mountain

GET READY TO JAM!
Music on the Mountain, a concert created to celebrate recovery, will be held directly after Divided Sky Foundation’s Fun(d) Run on Saturday, May 18, 2024. Doors open at 2pm EST.
Music on the Mountain, held at the base of Okemo Mountain, will feature performances by Anders Osborne, Dogs in a Pile, and Saints and Liars. Music on the Mountain has a suggested donation of $20, and participants in the Fun(d) Run are automatically registered (runners can show race bib for entry).
Vendors will offer food and zero-proof beverages. Music on the Mountain is family-friendly and guests are encouraged to bring chairs, picnic blankets, etc, and enjoy the sights and sounds of the concert.
All proceeds from ticket sales and other donations benefit Divided Sky Foundation.
Register at the link in our bio! >>> The Phoenix presents Music on the Mountain Tickets, Sat, May 18, 2024 at 2:00 PM | Eventbrite

Think then speak. It matters.

Moxie Speech Pathology ❤️

You can start late, look different, be uncertain and still succeed

Image: https://www.instagram.com/joyfulsmolthings

Introducing Hope Training🥳🥳 - https://mailchi.mp/36465fbf61da/introducing-hope-training
I'm officially an EMDR Basic Training Provider with EMDRIA.
Celebrating the collaborative training platform with a PARTS WORKS Training on January 12th 2024. https://hope-training.thinkific.com/

Come join me this Fall 🐿️🍁 - https://mailchi.mp/9492664181d1/come-join-me-this-fall

I just completed a Certified Grief Educator program with David Kessler. It was an amazing 12 week course.

Don’t let the past control the present.

You are amazing. Stop telling yourself otherwise.

EMDR Summer Consultation and Certification Groups - https://mailchi.mp/37d2328613af/bonus-emdr-consultation-group-15035171
Read the Bonus on Certification.
Attend EMDR group consultation this week:
Friday 6/24/22 12-2PM (Eastern) & Saturday 6/25/22 12-2PM (Eastern) as well as: 12-2PM Eastern on Fridays 7/8/22, 7/22/22 & 8/5/22

Please reach me at [email protected] if you have questions or want to schedule an individual consultation.

EMDR Consultation. Register here https://ScheduleEMDRConsultationwithStacy.as.me/

Last one of the year: EMDR consultation group - https://mailchi.mp/e831c2574f90/bonus-emdr-consultation-group-8935450

Hope for Healing Counseling LLC updated their phone number.

Hope for Healing Counseling LLC updated their address.

Hope for Healing Counseling LLC updated their business hours.

Bonus EMDR consultation group - https://mailchi.mp/e9ec43e304bd/bonus-emdr-consultation-group

Friday 9-11AM & Saturday 1-3PM groups this week.

EMDR Consultation Groups August 13th & 14th - https://mailchi.mp/d976c1d05c70/emdr-consultation-groups-august-13th-14th

DBT Skills Group starting soon. Group will be on Thursday evenings via Zoom. Facilitated by Misty Andersen. If you know someone who may be interested please share the flyer or visit https://www.hopecounselors.com/dbt-skills-group.html

New SATURDAY EMDR consultation groups😃 - https://mailchi.mp/930727ce37f6/new-saturday-emdr-consultation-groups

Need a skill to help with transition? https://www.hopecounselors.com/ambiguously-hopeful-blog/transition-is-a-fancy-word-for-change

Are you setting a new year resolution? Here is a new strategy for 2021. https://www.hopecounselors.com/ambiguously-hopeful-blog/new-year-new-you

This post is not only about how to cope with the ‘typical’ holiday blues, but how to navigate complex moments that include grief, loss, and loneliness. https://www.hopecounselors.com/ambiguously-hopeful-blog/can-we-talk-about-this-2020-holiday-season-for-a-minute

Whew, didn’t the holidays seem easier when we were kids?? If you’re one of many who feels overwhelmed, anxious, or sad about the holidays, we see and understand you. The holidays can bring up a lot of difficult feelings related to family, grief, finances, religion, travel, addiction...you name it.

We recommend that you ring in the holiday season however that feels comfortable for you. Maybe you set limits on time spent with family. Maybe you set a specific budget for gifts. Maybe you choose to avoid certain triggering events or places. Maybe you ignore the whole dang thing!

Honor yourself, your boundaries, and your self-care, always ❤️

Meet Misty Andersen-Pitcher, LPC! Misty works with a wide variety of mental Heath issues but her specialty is grief & loss and trauma. She is EMDR trained, too!

Misty does not take insurance and fees can be found on our website, link in profile! She has availability on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday evenings.

Misty can be reached at [email protected].

*currently accepting new clients!*

We want you to know that our services right now are held exclusively via telehealth due to the COVID19 pandemic. We have a great client portal with a user-friendly video chat function. While many of us weren’t sure how the adjustment to virtual therapy might feel, we have found it to be a great substitute to in-person services to keep everyone safe and sound. Yes, we even do EMDR on video! Our clients have given us positive feedback and have been enjoying the easy accessibility to their professional support network (and no fighting traffic - who doesn’t love that!?). We can’t wait to welcome you into our warm, inviting office space when it’s safe to see you again! 💜 Stay tuned for updates.

Meet Erik Gagnon, LISAC! Erik is our veteran therapist with over 20 years of experience in the field. He specializes in addiction but he can do it all - Erik also focuses on trauma, depression, anxiety, and anger issues. He enjoys working with teens, families, and couples in addition to individual work. Erik’s approach is solution-focused and he will provide you with unconditional support to accomplish your goals.

Erik is paneled to take Blue Cross Blue Shield and sees out-of-pocket pay clients also - fees are all listed on our website, link in bio! He works weekdays and weeknights.

Erik can be reached at [email protected].

Meet Stacy Eggsware, LPC: our owner, founder, and EMDR guru. Her specialty is helping people find hope. She utilizes CBT, ACT, DBT, EMDR, and various other interventions. Specializes in reduction of suicidal thoughts and self harming behaviors in addition to trauma and loss. Helps reduce anxiety and depression symptoms by teaching you strategies to take control of your emotional experience.

Stacy works weekdays with some evening availability and is paneled with major insurances. Fees can be found on our website, link in bio! Stacy is also a Board-approved clinical supervisor and would love to work with LACs who need to get those hours! She can be reached at [email protected]

We are Hope For Healing Counseling - a team of licensed therapists in Phoenix, Arizona! We have specialists in trauma (including EMDR), addiction, relationship issues, DBT therapy, depression, and anxiety. We have availability weekdays and weeknights with flexible telehealth options. We also offer clinical supervision for LACs and LAMFTs. Stay tuned to learn more about each of us and our specialties!