Mariah Not-So Carey

lost two storefronts in the Lahaina fires that shook Maui to its core. 💔 As a result, business has moved predominantly online for the time being. 🌊☀️

♥️What a testament to the Maui community + resilience through tragic times when a team of dedicated models + photographers rose up to offer support through this transition.♥️

I feel blessed to have been a part of it. Support local, dazzle in some new swim, and shop Makana 🌺

here to entertain 📀

We can’t force people to choose us. But we can choose ourselves. ♥️

Short notice but quick announcement before the bigger ones. 🎶 West Maui fam, come party 6-8pm!

Had one of those moments where you severely under react to pain and reflect 20 min later like “wow, that was pretty bad 🤷🏼‍♀️😅.” 3/4 inch of glass sliced through my foot while I was grabbing a dog toy in the yard. 🙃 I realized how gnarly it was as I pulled it out of my arch 🥺 and my response was “oh whoops, one more second Koa!” 🐾 Clearly winning, today. 🤘🏼🤘🏼 Hope y’all are having a wonderful Sunday. ♥️

Please pray for my family in Massachusetts over the next few days. Incomprehensible what is going on there and there’s nothing I can do to help until the worst is over.

My life looks so different than what I could have ever expected and it has been equal parts beautiful and chaotic. I unlinked from the “supposed to” and have been feeling into the “I want more of…” Redefining expectations for external situations by redefining my expectations for myself. Looking at life as a choose your own adventure, not as a “give me” but an “I welcome”. I’m 25. I feel like I’m on a roller coaster that hasn’t quite reached it’s peak before the excitedly anticipated “drop”/climax. Sometimes, having to grow up fast when you’re younger puts you in check later to still remain open to the seeming naivety of new experience. You don’t have to have everything “figured out” and probably shouldn’t while yourself and life are changing so fast around you. There is so much more to learn about myself. I’ll continue to get to know me in what I’m open to and welcome- who I allow access along the way. I want early mornings, to pair more “I love yous” with specifically what I love about whoever I’m saying it to, travel ✈️, diving excursions 🌊, and continued/expanding music production 🎶. More thrift + book store days by myself, time in nature, solo kitchen dance parties, community outreach, cooking for those I love/families in need, and adventures with my animals. 🐾🌿
Ditch the “supposed to”. You’re evolving. Finding ways to stay grounded while simultaneously allowing yourself to take flight. What do you want more of?

quick good morning glide @ 6500 feet 🦅 conditions were perfect.

There’s so much I could share and express, my “truth”, what really happened, whatever. For what, though? The only thing I want at the forefront of my heart is gratitude. That needs to lead the way right now. I think part of growing up is understanding that you do not need to correct others’ lies or misconceptions about you. It’s not your job and 99% of the time, you probably shouldn’t. It’s wasted energy when you really need to be focusing on yourself. So what’s up, guys. We out here. Riah’s focusing on her damn self. My diving fins and new suits are on their way. Hitting the ground running with projects I had pushed to the back burner. I’m pursing the things I want to, and honestly, that’s the only reason I need. 🤙🏼☀️ Maui has been good to me and provided in ways I never imagined possible when the unimaginable became my reality for a bit. I’m so grateful for continued support and anybody on socials that just holds space and roots for me from afar. I’m selective with what I share on here, and I’ll continue to be, but you are loved and appreciated beyond words.

I feel like most of us have a tendency to over-complicate things. We get wrapped up in the destination happiness of it all, telling ourselves we’ll be happier when *insert goal/stipulation*, when our relationship looks a certain way, etc. Why keep yourself from enjoying the present? Why give yourself more time/potential ammo that’ll guilt trip you later with the “why didn’t I…” questions? Embracing yourself now is probably a simpler way of doing it. ✨ and you deserve to be happy. ✨

mascara + lippie + front flash 🤙🏼💄💋 My current lifestyle clearly involves some clogged pores (probably sunscreen 😅 or just being a human 🤷🏼‍♀️) but not a single one of you is worth faking my skin health with a blur feature. Pores exist. My skin looks great. Health is wealth and I’m happy as can be. 🌺 If you needed a reminder to give yourself a break and stop being comparative, hi. ♥️

beach btches have pores too 🏝️. (I just happen to be pale enough you can count them individually 👀😆)

I love being a woman.
Been really internalizing that phrase lately, and I do.
Society pressures me to wear makeup, look a certain way, shave all the time, be cellulite-free (but still jiggle??🤣 tf???), stay young, quiet-ish, and every other impossible thing so 99% of dudes can expect royalty and show up without so much as a skin care routine beyond a 3 month old soap-nub of Irish Spring. 🧼😅 Jokes aside, I spent so much of my life being a victim/prey for authoritative men yet wanting to appease them for my own sense of self and sensuality (not currently, before y’all get your 👙 in a bunch). But the thing is, my individuality and highest sense of feminine expression could not exist with my identity being placed in appeasing anybody, regardless of gender. The things that can and do coexist are the facts that I’ve learned who I am through fire- embodied, reflected, and became it while also remaining empathetic. This exists while also understanding that not all fire burns the same. You are not your struggle. You are your reactions to struggle. The fire may have shaped you but who you became in response to it has nothing to do with emodying the trauma itself. The product of experience is learning + growth, and you embody so much more. Sooo again… I LOVE being a woman. ♥️ I’m grateful for all of the ways I can experience life and love. I’m grateful for what I’ll continue to learn and for each person along the way that teaches me in their own way based around their own experience. I wish all the love in the world through each of your journeys, too. 😇 Keep shinin’ mf. Rant over.

naturist at heart ☀️🍃

singin’ the blues and jamming an incredible amount to Sammy Rae & The Friends ✨ No complaints this birthday. ♥️ Mahalo nui loa.

Happy birthday to me! ♥️ TL;DR: Wishlist is in the comments 😆! been a wild year.
What can I say, man. 😅 24 was weird, chaotic, fun, heartbreaking, and equal parts exciting and horrific.
I learned more about myself than I ever could have imagined through the best and the worst, carried shame + burdens that weren’t mine and let them go, all in the same year. But my goodness, I’m so damn proud of myself. I welcomed a beautiful pup from Mexico, moved 5000 miles away from “home” with 3 animals. I said yes to change and showed up with everything I had, even when what I had seemed to dwindle. I learned that having yourself and your word sometimes needs to be enough. Trust means nothing if you can not trust in yourself. 🫶🏼 I saw who showed up for me and who did quite the opposite. I experienced selfishness toward and from myself and embraced the transformative reintegration of my ego and what it means to love whole. I got freaking engaged!! 💍 For everything I let go, I gained so much more because ✨I found myself.✨ Excited for everything this chapter will continue to bring as I keep on doing this life thing. 🥳 Love you all + thank you endlessly for the birthday wishes. 25 baby, LFG. 🤘🏼 📷:

✨ woke up like this✨
I hope you have a good day 🌺
I hope you know how valuable your presence is 🌺
And I hope you continue to make time for the things you love regardless of how good you think you are 🌺
Keep shining + I’m happy you exist. ♥️

Mother’s Day tends to be a pretty weird day for me. I reflect upon events in my life, recalling deeply things I pushed almost completely out of my brain for years- half out of survival mode and half out of feeling like my fertility and autonomy weren’t valid enough. But then, I see countless women wrestle with that entire word, “enough”. If it isn’t a question society raises for you, it might as well be one you raised on your own anyway- Are you present enough? Are you strong enough? Are you capable enough? Are you doing a good enough job?
The miscarriage I experienced at 15 following assault raised so many conflicting emotions that the entire concept of “enough” didn’t strike me until I woke up in the hospital. Being “enough” is such a relative term encompassing nowhere near the credit so many mothers deserve. Given the nature surrounding my pregnancy, I felt confused and generally unfit as a person, let alone mother. The unfair stupid fcking question asking yourself how you could have possibly allowed this to happen (but you didn’t “allow” it so why do we do this to ourselves 😅🤦🏼‍♀️). Fast forward to now, I couldn’t imagine having an almost ten year old?! That in combination with endometriosis, I still feel pretty regularly like the odds are stacked. But I am SO excited to at some point, experience motherhood truly and whole. I can’t wait to be the mom my child deserves with all of the presence and love my heart can hold. I am so proud of those in my life who took motherhood by the horns with hearts remarkably full, despite any uncertainty + challenges unforeseen. You are enough.
Sending so much love to all of you b@d@ss mothers. I am a strong woman because a strong woman raised me. May you always know how incredibly loved you are. Thank you for all you do. I’ll be snuggin’ my 3 kiddos 🐾🐾🐾 extra today. 📸:

Always fun sitting in w my love @ Hana Farms ♥️ and always flattered to play a very special gal’s wedding song 🥹♥️ But on today’s episode of wtf is Riah doing w her hands.. 🎶 ft. spot the drums.

2022 had me feeling really misunderstood. I was taken advantage of in a deeper way than I ever thought possible and it shined a light on what just seemed to be mismanagement of my own heart. After all, don’t we all ask ourselves why we let somebody in so close after they wronged us? But to that, is there not residual guilt we carry for the role we play in every bit of it (even if we didn’t necessarily “know”?). If one person holds this message close, I’ll be happy. I just want whoever is reading this to continue being loving, gracious yet passionate, and fierce in what they love about themselves regardless of what they’ve been shown. If you have been shown every reason not to love, I hope you still love. If you have been shown every reason not to trust, I hope you still trust. I hope you embrace every bit of beauty life has to offer in spite of those who didn’t treat your heart with care. Every bit of loss and heartache is valid and will always be, but please keep pushing for those around you- and if those you are conscious of are not grateful, I ask that you internalize how grateful a complete stranger may be that you exist. You contribute positivity just by wishing well for others. You emulate love just by being. Life is hard, but as the stranger from Facebook, please continue to just BE. I’m grateful for every bit of love and the opposite. It has taught me so much. I promise to remind myself of this as you take to heart how deeply you are loved. 💕🔥

tbh I’m just sad today.
reminding myself it’s ok to not be ok.

Me: *tries to take aesthetically pleasing th!rst tr@p*
Koa: 🍆

🍌🌴

lilikoi flower smells like heaven. now, so do I. 🌺😆

✨ good morning aesthetic ✨
scroll for Koa’s disapproval 😆 🐾

the sheer amount of mosquito bites I have today is almost as mind-boggling as the places I have them 😩.. but nonetheless, ✨ bliss ✨

@ me biting my lip when I’m stressed 👏🏻 out 👏🏻👏🏻
Never took too well to using excessive filters (on snap, maybe 😉) but I’m feelin’ the whole being a human freaking being having pores + dimples + skin w/ texture. So should you.🤘🏼hope your day is good ☀️

picking up gravel and it’s gonna be a no from Koa 😬

Getting used to my hair’s natural curls because they’re sure getting used to this weather 😅🌴 Leave-in conditioner + my hair being up for 3/4 of the day + more leave-in conditioner 🥵

Just mascara, eyeliner, and a matte lip. 💋 I have always been diligent in my skin care routine but microneedling with Casandra has been such a game changer. I love going without makeup and not feeling like I need to “cover anything up.” I’ll miss my routine visits so incredibly much and can not recommend Nurse Cas enough!! So grateful for her dedication + friendship. You better believe I’ll be scheduling with her every time I’m back to visit.

Just played fetch w/ Koa outside with my 🍉s out. 🐾☀️🌴

✨Happiness is not size/shape/glam filter specific. It’s ok to love your body the way it is.✨

These last couple days have been so stressful as I ship my car and the rest of my things home to Maui. Flight delays. Cancellations. Stranded at the airport for an entire day. 😰

I look stressed because I am. 🙌🏼

But this body continues to carry me through so many unanticipated situations. And the same voice being critical of my “endo”-bloat/tired eyes comes from the same mind that has been navigating the unimaginable. ♥️

Just going to keep pushing. You should, too. 🙏🏻

🕷️

I’m extremely sparing with “filters” and don’t generally edit my personal photos at all. If you feel some type of way about my mosquito bites but not my “mosquito bites”, kindly _____ yourself. 💋🥰 I found these aesthetically pleasing and wouldn’t feel as genuine editing out imperfections to suit your preference. ♥️

Perform for Weird Al ✅ 🎶
Bonus that he got to meet a celebrity (Koa) 😎🐾

You are done living in survival mode. Now, it is time to live. Relax. Breathe in every moment. Surrender to the unknown and exist on your own terms surrounded by the people who love and support you deeply and whole. 🌺☀️ Also, put on a Stevie Nicks hat. That always helps.

Adrian called me a “big leg woman” and said that now he, “knows what all those blues guys were talking about”. Also, my drink had the word “paralysis” in it and it definitely did the job. I might need a new fiancé after this but Maui here we come! 🤣🤣♥️🎉☀️

When you know, you know. This is one of the first (& my all-time fav clearly 😆) pics we took together and it felt as though we had known each other for a lifetime. Here’s to getting to know you for another. I love you endlessly, over and over. Happy Valentine’s Day, Adrian. ♥️

Just landed back in Boston. This little guy traveled across Mexico and met me in California with the help of an absolute angel + new friend 🤘🏼🥳. LAX —> BOS and we are exhausted. ✈️♥️ Koa, welcome to the fam. ☀️ You’re so loved. What an adventure so far. Time for a nap. 💤 🐾