Amanda Good LICSW

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July 31 at 6-9pm
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Early in my career, when I worked in a high school, I read a story to my cbt-based therapy group. The story was about a child who watched as a butterfly struggled to emerge from its cocoon. The child felt badly for the butterfly, so he found a small scissors and cut open the cocoon… only to find that the butterfly couldn’t fly. The struggle to escape the cocoon- even if it looked impossible or seemed like it was about to die- the act of breaking through was what provided the butterfly’s wings with the strength it needed in order to fly. The struggle, the breakthrough, is crucial to a butterfly’s development and its ability to live and thrive.✨
When I finished reading the story, one of my students looked at me and said, Ms. Good, I think you help me too much. You’re like the kid, you want to help but I need to do it on my own.😳
This moment has stuck with me for over ten years. I think of it often in my work with clients who are truly struggling and suffering, in my parent coaching as I help parents determine the best supports for their kids, and in my own moments of suffering…👉
Sometimes direct help or rescue is needed, certainly. Yet often, struggle and suffering are a normal part of a growth process that leads to transformation. To becoming self-actualized. To feeling free and resilient and capable💪
It takes courage, and self-compassion, to push through the struggle and despair or hopelessness in order to develop strong wings… but it is worth it, and I love getting to witness and guide that process as a therapist🦋
It also takes courage and compassion to stay present with someone else during their struggle, resisting our urge to rescue, or own own feelings of despair or hopelessness, and to allow and growth to happen.❤️
Artwork

Small shifts in thinking can make a big shift in feeling✨
When you practice shifting negative or stuck thoughts, don’t try to contradict them- they might double down- just see if you can turn the dial a bit toward other ways of looking at things. Positive thoughts are only helpful if they feel true, so start small and keep move towards more and more self compassion ❤️

A little mindful monday reminder✨

👋Hi there! Welcome to new followers here!
A little about me: I’m a therapist…. And I believe that therapy is centered around an authentic relationship, with open communication and clear goals that align with a client’s needs, values, and strengths that they bring to the table.
Evidence-based therapy is important for us to learn as providers and should guide what we offer to clients; but ultimately therapy is only as helpful as the strength of the therapist-client relationship. If you don’t feel safe, understood, valued, and connected with your therapist in your therapy, then how can you access real healing?
👉The truth of the matter is, it isn’t the therapist that heals you- it is the felt experience of safety, worth, and connection. A therapist’s job, at its core, is to give you that, because the rest - the skills, the practices, the new behaviors - are things you can learn or already know on your own. But a safe space to nurture those skills, take pride in progress, let go of shame, connect to your most true and vulnerable self? That part has to be done together ✨

✨Mindset Shift✨
Try these four phrases to ground yourself and distance yourself from negative thoughts and emotions!

My latest blog post for - learn about the phrase “real but not true” and discover how it can help you break out of negative thought patterns.

✨Just leaving this here for you to think about✨
Any self doubt, inner critic, shame, imposter syndrome, perfectionism, comparisons, all the negative self beliefs- what if all of it isn’t really *you*? What if it’s all just thoughts that came from adults who never did their own healing work, or from societal and cultural expectations, or from media and subtle but constant messaging that you internalized?
When your Self beliefs are negative, ask yourself: where did I learn that?
It can feel real, and also not be true.
Becoming your best self is in letting go of all the painful negative self-beliefs that feel very real and are surprisingly hard to let go of. ❤️

Sometimes self-care is as much about what you don’t do, as it is about what you do✨
👉Self-care is about listening to your needs, and that might or might not be about actively doing things like getting massage or working out or seeing friends…sometimes it might be more about setting boundaries to protect your energy, or getting rest to restore it.
Your needs, your way, intentional & compassionate💕

👋Monday One-minute (or more if you like🤗) Mindfulness challenge!
☝️pick any of the above activities and keep your focus there for at least a minute just noticing the experience and noticing how it feels in your body.
…and that’s it!
✨Mindfulness is about creating more awareness in the present moment. It doesn’t have to involve meditating. Practicing small moments like these regularly increases your ability for self-awareness and emotion regulation- i.e. it helps you feel more calm and in control! Small efforts build up into big reward for your stress level🙌

I recently recommended Pema Chodron’s “When Things Fall Apart” to a friend who is grieving. I remembered how impactful these teachings were, so I decided to re-discover some of my favorite Pema Chodron excerpts and share them here. Do any of these resonate with you?✨

These made me reflect on how instinctive it is to try to shut off pain when we encounter it. Being able to feel our pain, soften towards it with compassion, and still be able to enjoy moments as they come up takes work- but the reward of that inner work is healing. In our acceptance of pain is our healing from it. The most rewarding part of being a therapist is to see this tranformation💕

It’s Leap Day! I started writing today about the concept of a “leap of faith.” For so many of my anxious clients, uncertainty is a huge driver of fear and can result in feeling really stuck. Especially for perfectionists who like to be sure of the steps or the outcome before moving forward, taking a leap and making a change can be daunting.

Sometimes we are uncertain where we are headed, and other times we have an end goal but have uncertainty about how to get there. Either way we can get trapped in familiar patterns because the unknown can be overwhelming.

Therapy can be a way to get out of stuck patterns and embrace uncertainty. Other times we turn to our community - friends, family, church- to support us in the face of uncertainty.

But no matter what, moving forward requires a leap. At some point we have to dig deep and decide that even if we are scared, unsure, or unprepared, we will take a leap of faith and proceed rather than remaining stuck in patterns of suffering.

So my reflection/journaling/meditation prompt for you this February 29th is: When have you taken a leap of faith? What happened next and what did you learn? What is something in your life now you would like to take a leap of faith to change?

❤️Sending loving-kindness out to all this Valentine’s Day! 💕✨Enjoy this short but meaningful Metta Meditation in honor of Valentine’s Day✨💕bookmark it to keep practicing regularly if you want to cultivate greater compassion and love towards yourself and others❤️

🎉Happy New Year!🎉
Heading into 2024 with renewed energy and a focus on sharing hope, healing, courage and compassion ❤️
For those of you who set New Year’s Resolutions: whenever I talk about goals with clients, I ask to focus on their deeper connection behind it:
✨What is the intention behind this goal?
✨What internal resources do you already have that will help you achieve this, and what would you like to cultivate in working toward this goal?
✨How would you like to feel once you experience progress or achievement towards your goal?
✨Is there part of you that resists your goal, and what does that part of you need in order to feel safe/hopeful/heard as you grow?
✨What does it feel like to hit a setback, and how can you prepare to move beyond that?

As you set goals, commit to raising consciousness surrounding your goals and your growth process. This can connect you more deeply with your motivation, and build resilience to get through setbacks🙌
📸

Sharing this blog post for parents, because the back-to-school transition can be as much of a roller-coaster for us as it is for our kids!

Back-to-School Time for Parents! - This time of year is a roller-coaster of excitement and anxiety for families. A new school year brings new opportunities, more structure, and so much learning and growth; and often, new stressors, social and academic ...READ MORE »

👉Sometimes our patterns or symptoms feel stuck no matter what we do, and that’s because our nervous systems are continuing to get triggered. Talk therapies are “top down” approaches which change thoughts and behaviors; often that causes lasting change, yet other times there are root problems which continue to cause symptoms.
✨EMDR and other somatic therapies are about deeper, root-of-the-problem healing. By directly addressing the body’s memories that have caused ongoing trigger reactions, we can restore healthy functioning from the ground (our bodies) up (our thoughts and behaviors).

Anyone else like to do their work on the floor?! I also prefer having multiple projects/tasks going at once and background noise, and I listen to podcasts at 1.5x 🤪 This is fairly typical for ADHD, and for me these strategies all promote more focus and productivity. The key is figuring out what helps YOU focus, motivate, and complete tasks.
As we head into a new school year, I want to remind parents👋 resist the urge to jump in/correct your kids if they work on the couch not the desk, or with music/tv on, or take lots of breaks or go back and forth between subjects. Instead ask them nonjudgmentally: Is that behavior actually helpful or distracting for you? How do you focus best? Do you need to move your body (run in place/do jumping jacks) to focus or do you like to relax and breathe? What room/time of day/amount of noise/type of music helps you feel best doing your homework? ✨
The fact is we all have different needs for level of stimulation to access our peak performance or “zone” for focus, and the goal isn’t to get ourselves or our kids to function in a set way, but rather to function our best and to be aware of how we each individually do that. Let’s not tell our kids how to learn or to work, let’s help them observe and figure out how their brains learn and work best🤗

Thanks for turning my latest blog into an insta post! 🙌
Words are powerful and in talk therapy, expression through metaphor can lead to deeper understanding and awareness, and can shift our feelings and open us to change✨

“If I have to talk about the meaning of trauma, I really need to explain what I mean by the word. What I mean is strictly according to its Greek origin - it is a wound. Trauma is not what happened to you, that is a traumatic event. Trauma is the wound that we suffer as a result of that and much of that has to do with children experiencing difficult events and how they understand it and what they make it mean about themselves. And universally, when bad things happen to kids, they make it mean there is something wrong with them. They become disconnected from themselves. So the biggest trauma, and it doesn’t matter what the source is, is the disconnection from the self.”
- Gabor Maté
from

“Trauma blocks love, love heals trauma.”

Some food for thought about self healing, as I do some prep work for an EMDR Intensive.
Self-compassion and love towards the most hurt and scared parts of ourselves is an integral part of healing work❤️
And, being in a state of nervous system dysregulation caused by trauma can make it so hard to access that type of love and self-compassion.
Doing deep work, practicing grounding and mindfulness, and using somatic techniques, with the help of a therapist can truly help open us up to the giving ourselves the love we need to heal❤️

A little wellness inspo this Wednesday! Self-care means
😴prioritizing rest, including a good night’s sleep, and taking breaks throughout your day to breathe and re-set
❤️self-compassion, which is different than positivity which can feel forced, is all about acknowledging your challenges as well as your strengths through a lens of kindness
🛑setting boundaries, which can be hard but if we remember what values we are prioritizing when we say no to something it can help motivate us and create acceptance of the discomfort

👋Pause your scrolling for a moment! Take a few deep breaths.✨✨✨ That’s all! Just your reminder to tune into your body, and anchor yourself back into the present with your breathing.

👏Work smarter not harder with your coping skills!
😊Yes, breaks are important and setting aside time for self-care is invaluable.
👉 My point here is you can integrate coping skills into your busy day without any extra time, energy, or effort.
All it actually takes is ✨intention✨
Being intentional about how you go about your day rather than just getting through your day is so empowering!
👆Make choices to incorporate small actions like these, without having to stop what you’re doing, to increase your sense of calm, connection, and compassion.

👋Whoever needs to hear this: Conflict is *normal* in healthy relationships.
🚫Shaming and blaming, name-calling, gaslighting, abuse, revenge, etc. are *not* normal or healthy.
😤Often we find ourselves in patterns of avoidance, or we feel stuck having the same arguments over and over.
*Most of us didn’t grow up in homes, classrooms, or cultures that modeled healthy ways to handle conflict! So what feels “normal” to us is anger and/or avoidance, both of which are unhealthy over time if we don’t develop ways to resolve conflict and heal wounds together!
🙋‍♀️Here’s your sign to try something new!!
👆Try these communication strategies for staying calm, curious, connected and compassionate (with yourself and your partner/child).
✨Learning how to communicate effectively through disagreements, tension, and even strong negative emotions, is SO helpful for your personal growth and relationship satisfaction.❤️

✨Resharing because this gave me all the feels this morning! I just finished up an article about PPD and feel so grateful and empowered by being on this side (currently at least!) of my own healing journey.
👉Healing is tremendously hard work. It is scary and exhausting and often defeating. But we don’t choose the challenges life gives us, we choose how to respond.
👉Responding with your inner warrior doesn’t mean you have to feel strong or powerful or brave or sure of what you’re doing; it just means choosing over and over and over to stand back up, to try again, to have hope, to accept help, to have self-compassion.
❤️If you are suffering, know that there are still ways to find your inner warrior- she isn’t gone. She just needs nurturing and the opportunity to try, to fail, and to try again.
💪What brings out your inner warrior? When have you felt strong? When did you push past feelings of defeat or failure? What would you like to use your strength for now?📝Write it down!!

Sharing my yearly psa! July 4th is around the corner, with all the fun, the bbq’s, and of course the fireworks🎆🎇
But fireworks can also be a significant trigger - the sudden, loud, constant noise can be overwhelming for people with anxiety, PTSD, sensory issues related to SPD/ASD, and Highly Sensitive People.
Read more in my blog about why that is, and how to help yourself or loved ones stay calm!

Therapist Washington DC - Triggered by Fireworks? Ways to Manage July 4th Amanda Good is a therapist in Washington, DC. Read her advice on several ways to prevent or soothe the fight-flight-freeze response that may be brought on by July 4th fireworks.

🙋‍♀️Hi there!
Can you take one minute for yourself?
Notice how it feels to spend just this minute being mindful.
How does it feel to slow down and tune in? What is your body telling you that it needs?
👉What could change for you if you took a little time like this each day to tune in to yourself?

📝A little inspiration for you today! It’s a rainy day here in DC, and I am curling up with some tea☕️ and a journal for a little writing before I start my work today. 💡Did you know that journaling reduces stress, boosts mental health, and builds self-awareness and mental clarity? Makes sense to me, here are some prompts to get started!!

🙋‍♀️Want to learn more about how your nervous system works and how to heal it? ✨Deb Dana’s Polyvagal Card Deck is full of straight-forward information on the fight/flight/freeze reactions and strategies to help in-the-moment with grounding, stabilizing, releasing energy and accessing internal resources.✨
🤗It’s my favorite new purchase for my office!
👉What are some of your favorite resources or go-to strategies??