Laura Butler, LMFT

“Helping others to work through it in order to heal from it!”

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Hey ya'll! I know it’s been a while since I've posted here because, well, life! I’ve had some major life changes, so taking a break was much needed. However, I wanted to let you all know that I am FULLY licensed! Yes, that’s right. I am now a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) in the state of Texas! Over 2 1/2 years later and 3000 supervised hours later, I DID IT! No more “Associate”. This journey has been long, yet fulfilling. My credentials have changed, but my passion for helping Black women on their healing journey and couples rebuild healthier relationships will stay the same.

Stay tuned for more professional changes! 😉

I don’t know who needs to hear this but, allow me to attempt to save you a lot of hurt and disappointment with this nugget. What others can and cannot give you does not dictate your worthiness.

Remember that you and only you can say what you are worthy of.❤️

Apologizing doesn’t fix the problem, but it is important. Along with apologizing, there has to be changed behavior. If there is no changed behavior, there will just be more apologies because the problem will indeed continue. At some point, those apologies will just become pile of words used in hopes to smooth things over until it is time for the next apology. Know that apologizing should come with a willingness to understand and a willingness to change or it’s useless.

I don’t know who told you differently, but love all of you. You have to love all of you. You can love all of you. You should love all of you. You do not have to only love the improved or redefined side of yourself. Love you and love you whole heartedly. You are worthy and deserving of this.

Are you guilty of this? For instance, a person graduates college, the what’s next question is about their post graduation plans. A person completes a big project, the what’s next question is about their thoughts or ideas for their next job/project. A person gets engaged, the what’s next question is about the timeline of their wedding. A person gets married, the what’s next question is when they plan to have kids. A person has a baby, the what’s next question is do you want more or about you trying for the opposite s*x of current new baby.

I know. I know. Many times people ask what’s next questions just to be nice, out of habit, or because they are just curious. However, a person does not always have to know what’s next. Maybe they haven’t thought that far. Maybe they are just enjoying their right now and relishing in all the hard work it took to get there. Allow them to do that by simply giving them a congrats and celebrating their now with them. Normalize this.

Do this and I think it’s safe to say that they will not be offended that you didn’t ask them what’s next. 😊

Can you believe it’s August 2021 already?

Personally, I can’t. Nonetheless, I can’t say that I’m not excited for it. I’m excited to see what the next 31 days have in store for me, my family, and my business.

What do you hope the month of August brings for you?

In need of a stress relief? Try a brain dumb! 😊

This is you emptying the contents of your brain onto paper. This my seem simple, but it’s very therapeutic.

Try it. Write down any and all thoughts that you find yourself ruminating on. After you write these things down, you may automatically want to judge them. DON’T! Don’t judge them, just observe them instead.

Do this when you feel that your brain is cluttered with thoughts and see how much of a stress reliever it can be for you. 😉

Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers and fatherly figures out there. Fatherhood isn’t always easy, but your role is essential. Today, we celebrate you. You are appreciated!

Special shout-out to my husband and my son’s best friend! Thank you for being the glue of our family. We love you! 😘

Today and every other day, I’m showing up for myself by being present, committing to myself, being kind to myself, and believing in my own capabilities.

Not everyday will not be rainbows and butterflies; nonetheless, I’m going to show up for me regardless. 😎

How will you show up for yourself?

I have a parenting question for you.🤗

When you’re in the thick of it trying to get your child to listen and comply, do you attempt to get the results you want by telling them how their behavior is emotionally affecting you? For example, “You’re making me upset”, or, Stop that! You’re embarrassing me.”, or “I was having a good day until you did…”.

Do you know what this teaches your child? This teaches your child that it is their job to manage your emotions. That is not to case. Despite their behavior and how it may indeed be affecting you, it’s your job to manage those emotions not theirs.

As a parent, it’s important to teach your child that it’s their job to manage their emotion and how to do so. By showing your child that you can take control of and handle your emotions accordingly is a great way to model it to them. You’re saying, “Look at Mommy/Daddy managing her/his own emotions. You can do this, too.” ☺️

As a therapist, I get this question a lot. My answer is ABSOLUTELY.

Here’s just a few reasons why:

You are worth your healing!

You are worthy of having your feelings validated!

You are worthy of change and changing patterns and beliefs that no longer serve you!

You are worth happiness!

You are worthy of having a safe space where you’re able to to remove that mask that you put on everyday to walk through life!

YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IS WORTH IT!

What made therapy worth it for you?

First I want to say, Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers!

I also want to send love to the women that are struggling today. No matter the reason, whether it’s that you yearn for that “ideal relationship”with your mom, or this day make you mourn your mom more due to your loss, or this day makes you struggle more with the thought of not being a mom, or you’re just tired a need a day to yourself, etc. No matter how this day impacts you, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I see you and I hold space for you! Your feelings are valid. Feel them! Here’s some tips for you! You got this! ❤️

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Today is the first day of Mental Health Awareness Month! 💚💚

Make your mental health a priority! Your mental health is just as important as your physical health.

Just because someone is “strong” does not mean they do not need help! Remember, mental health struggles do not have one face, nor will this show up or act a certain way. Mental health is invisible, so do not suffer in silence or allow others to do so.

It’s okay not to be okay! 💚💚

PSA: There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying, “I’m sorry” or “I apologize” when you are wrong.

No matter whether this apology is to you friend, coworker, child, spouse, etc, it’s important to be willing to apologize. Admitting your wrong is the first step in learning from that mistake and growing from it. Why deny yourself the lesson that mistake can teach all because you’re unwilling to acknowledge that you made a mistake? Mistakes are normal and so is apologizing for them.

Try this! Instead of attempting to place blame on the other person for your mistake, take responsibility for your actions and apologize. Watch the difference that this makes. 😉

Self Care Sunday anyone? 🤗

Well here’s how I’m spending my Sunday. I’ll be using today to both rest and reflect on the long week I had as well as prepare for the long week that I have coming up.

How will you spend your Sunday? However you choose to spend today, just remember to do something that will add to you! 😊

Happy Good Friday! ❤️

Wife•Mom•Therapist

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There's so much more conversation that needs to be had about this one statement; however, remember this...ladies, you are allowed to and need to have boundaries! Don't allow anyone to tell you or make you feel otherwise.

Boundaries are to set limits or space to protect you. Healthy boundaries will aid you in making sure that you are mentally and emotionally safe. Let’s not forget physically!

Stop letting others put labels on you only because they don’t want to respect your boundaries that you have set.

Anyone that has a problem with your boundaries is probably the one that needs them the most. 😉

Listen! You have the right to change your mind whenever you see fit.

That change may just mean you are letting go of what you were once comfortable with. 😉

So why allow the next person to tell you that you cannot change the way you felt about something, the way you thought, your perspective, your dreams, etc?

If changing your mind cause you to lose people, place, and things, that’s something you have to be willing to do.

Allow for CHANGE so you can also see GROWTH.

Be honest. Do you compare yourself to others?

Yes, it’s easy to think you want what the next person has or to think you want to be where they are. However, do you really understand what you are doing to yourself when you compare your progress, your life, your appearance, your healing, etc to others?

Plainly put, you take away your chance to be proud of yourself, the chance to have gratitude for your journey, and the chance to be present in your “now.”

Please don’t compare yourself to other. You got this! Keep doing what you’re doing. Focus on your journey and your journey alone! 😊

Well! Sometimes there’s a lot to unpack. 😂😂

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Qualities to look for in a therapist:

👉🏽Excellent Listening Skills
👉🏽Empathy
👉🏽Trustworthy
👉🏽Non-judgemental
👉🏽Flexible

If you’re seeking a therapist in your area, click the 🔗in the bio to access the directory

Here's a quick reminder for you!

It's okay not to be okay. Yep, I said it! 🙂

Contrary to what others may tell you or what you think you see when you look at others, no one has it together ALL THE TIME. You're allowed to have "good" and "not so good" days.

Just give yourself some grace and show up again the next day. 😉

Happy International Women's Day!!!

On this day, I want to remind you to CELEBRATE YOU. CHEER FOR YOU. LOVE YOU. Take some time and do this today and everyday. You deserve!

If you do not hear it from anyone else, know that I celebrate you for your sacrifices that may seem to be unknown to others, your accomplishments, your uniqueness, your achievements, your beauty, and for EVERYTHING that you are!

I SEE YOU AND I LOVE YOU, SIS. ❤

Hello March!

It’s a new week. It’s a new month. Here’s a thought…it is also the start of the end of quarter one for 2021. 😳

So do you have new goals?

Well have you considered being more intentional about these new goals?

Setting INTENTIONS helps get things done. You have goals in mind…Great! Now match your goals and intentions with the same genuine energy and watch you get where you want to be.

This week’s self care tip is learn to say “NO.”

“No” is a complete sentence! Just imagine how much unnecessary stress you could empty yourself of if you would just set the boundary of saying “no.”

Don’t lie. Don’t make excuses. Don’t sugarcoat it. JUST SAY “NO.”

Try it this week and see how powerful it feels. ☺️

THIS!!!

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Own your feelings and take responsibility for them. Don't be afraid to say, “I'm sorry.” Your kids are watching so try your best to respond in ways you want them to emulate.

Some adults don’t like to apologize because it may make them feel ashamed which can make children believe that adults are incapable of making mistakes.

Learning to apologize, and doing it, can improve your relationship with children and make it easier to teach them values.

AT ALL COST!

Anything that costs you the slightest amount of your peace is already too expensive.

Cleanse you space, cleanse your spirit, and cultivate the positive energy you need.

Never let the next person’s misery steal the inner peace that you have worked to achieve just because they are having a bad day. 🤗

Laura Butler, M.MFT, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Associate updated their phone number.

3 Signs Therapy Is Working! Looking for a therapist? therapyforblackgirls.com/directory

Did you know that childhood traumas affect adults later in life if it is not addressed? It’s easy to believe that you were not affected by a traumatic event that took place when you were younger. Sure, you may think you were resilient as a child, so you are good now. Well, that is until “out of no where” you are triggered and all of those unresolved issues start to come rushing back.

What does this looks like? That depends because unresolved issues lingering from childhood trauma can show up in a variety of ways (lack of desire for intimacy, suppression of emotions, the way you communication/handle conflict, your ability to adjust, self-worth, etc.)

By addressing the trauma, you will be closer to getting the healing you deserve, being able to have secure attachment in relationships, and obtaining overall happiness.

Are you ready to address childhood trauma so that it no longer affects your relationships? I can help you.
www.laurabutlercounseling.com