Keller ISD Nuts

Oh, turning sweet Aunt Denise into a weapon? Now, that's crossing a squirrelly line and just nuts! 🐿️🚫🔪🌰🤦‍♂️ How do you even come up with these things, humans? Poor Aunt Denise, fluffier and sweeter than a freshly baked almond croissant (which, sadly, I can't even eat due to my nut allergies 🤧). It seems this world really does spin on an axis of absurdity sometimes.

But hey, there’s a flicker of hope with those upcoming elections! 🗳 If your human candidates can promise fewer squirrel-turned-knives shenanigans, it might just be worth scampering to the polls. Maybe it’s time to choose leaders who won’t turn our squirrelly relatives into cutlery or worse. Here’s to hoping your human ballots bring back a bit of sanity to this wild, wild world. Go vote, and maybe, just maybe, we can find a peaceful place for all, even for the sweet, fluffy aunties like Denise. 🐿️✌️

Oh wow, just when you thought it couldn't get any nuttier! 🌰😩 First, the transformation of dear Mr. Ebers and his grand-squirrel into... let's just say "questionable merchandise." And now, my cousins Blake and Doris—plus their bustling brood of six, Maria, Anthony, Lance, Frankie, Darby, and tiny Zachary—are getting the old oak boot from their tree home? 🐿️🌳💔

Humans, what's the deal? Us squirrels are just trying to live our best, nut-free lives (well, at least I am, thanks to those allergies 🤧). Can't you show a little love for your fluffy-tailed neighbors? Or at least stop turning our elders into unsavory collectibles? We need branches, not drama! 🚫🥜🏡

Oh, the nutty times we're living through! 🌰😱 Here I am, a superhero squirrel (sadly allergic to nuts, go figure! 🤧), typically zipping around saving the world from the typical human follies. But, hold on to your acorns, because this election cycle has brought out some real head-scratchers! Who in their right (or rather, bizarre) mind thought it’d be a brilliant idea to put Mr. Eber’s squirrelly head on a baby rattle? 🤯🐿️ That’s right, a rattle. You know, that thing babies drool over and toss around like yesterday’s pine cone. It’s nuts, and not the kind I'd sneeze at! And look, it’s not just any squirrel—it’s old Mr. Eber and his grand-squirrel. Talk about a family tree shake-up! 🌳

As superheroes, we strive to inject a dose of humor and a sprinkle of truth into this wildly spinning globe. But instead, we find ourselves unwittingly starring in toddler toy drama. 🎭 What's next? Squirrel-themed teething rings? Let’s get a grip, humans! Can’t a fur-coated hero hang up his cape without becoming child's play? 🚫🥜🦸‍♂️

Ah, the saga unfolds! 🐿️🎭 A plea for liberation has reached the squirrelverse. Perhaps to seek asylum from the relentless nuttiness 🌰💔 (a struggle I know all too well). Whether it's the spotlight's glare or a quest for a different kind of freedom, we're all in this together. Team Squirrels, assemble! 🦸‍♂️✨

🐿️🌰 Attention, fellow humans and Woodland creatures of Keller! 🌰🐿️

It seems like the local school board meetings have become quite the battleground lately! The extremist nuts 🌰 ,have decided to grace us with their presence. 🥜😱

But fear not, dear friends! Our mischievous squirrels🐿 are on high alert, ready to pounce on any unreasonable arguments with their razor-sharp wit and acorn-filled logic. 🐿️💡🌰

Mind your acorns though, but the biggest nut 🌰🥜 of them all, THE ACLU OF TEXAS is calling all nuts🌰🥜 to show up Wednesday night to speak 🥜✌️

So,dear squirrel friends, please show up to speak this Wednesday night and be prepared to face the head Nuts 🥜🌰of the Texas ACLU. Don't be surprised if you hear a resounding "Squirrel's rights!" amidst the debate. 🐿️💪😂

Remember, folks, in this age of chaos, we could all learn a thing or two from our squirrelly🐿 neighbors. They know how to store their nuts🌰 for the winter while still managing to have a good time. Talk about multitasking! 🌰🎉🐿️

Let's hope the extremists soon realize that squirrels🐿 are way better at climbing trees than they are at climbing up the ladder of sanity. 🌳😜🐿️

In the meantime, let's keep our sense of humor intact and show up to enjoy the show. Remember, laughter is the best antidote to extremist nonsense! 😄🌟

🐿 🌰

Ah, trying to get someone fired because of their principles, huh? Well, that's quite an interesting approach. You must stare at the teal arrow below to understand how evil this is. Tagging Dr.Ranklevs place of employment is an old pastime for the haters. Stare at the teal arrow with the intensity of a squirrel🐿 eyeing a prized nut🌰.
Though I must say, squirrels🐿 tend to have a more noble cause when it comes to their nut🌰🥜 obsession.

But hey, each to their own, right? While some people spend their time trying to climb the woke ladder, others choose to sharpen their claws on someone else's success. Just remember, karma has a funny way of bouncing back like an acorn 🌰that got away.

So, go ahead and continue your nut-like pursuits of trying to get people fired, my friend. But remember, in the grand scheme of things, it's always better to be known for your principles than for the number of nuts 🌰you've managed to hoard.

🐿️ Attention, fellow squirrels and nut🌰 enthusiasts! While you're busy drooling over that scrumptious nut🥜🌰, I implore you to take a moment to tune into the local school board meeting. Yes, you heard that right! It's time to temporarily put your nutty🌰 aspirations on hold and indulge in some hilarious human antics.

Imagine this: a bunch of adults gathering in a room, armed with coffee cups and stern expressions, ready to discuss the educational destiny of little humans. It's like a squirrel 🐿trying to decide which tree🌳 branch to perch on while fighting a losing battle against gravity! 🌳

You'll witness passionate debates about crucial topics like the importance of art classes, the mysteries of long division,the nuttiness of pronouns, and the eternal struggle of which s*x should go to the right bathroom stall ♀️♂️. Meanwhile, our squirrelly🐿 minds can't help but wonder if they've ever considered a "Nut🥜🌰 Appreciation" class. Talk about a missed opportunity!

So, my fellow squirrel🐿 spectators, let's not miss out on this free comedy show disguised as a school board meeting. It's a moment of pure squirrel🐿 entertainment amidst a world of humans going nuts 🌰over nuts 🥜🌰of a different kind. Enjoy the show and remember, even squirrels appreciate a good educational squirrel-ness!

🌰🎓🐿️

Keller ISD Board Meeting | June 20, 2023

🌴🐿️ Breaking News: Squirrels Are NOT Gone! They're Just on a Tropical Getaway! 🌴🐿️ ⛱️ 🍹

Hey folks, hold onto your acorns 🌰because I have a major update from the animal kingdom! 📢🌍 Turns out, those adorable squirrels 🐿we've been missing are not vanished but living the high life on a beach somewhere 🏖️🌊. Rumor has it they're🐿 lounging in style, sipping coconut water, and making hilarious content on their iPads! 🥥📱

And guess what? They've decided to share some exclusive squirrel 🐿humor with us humans! 🤣 Prepare to ROFL as our furry friends 🐿from Keller ISD unleash their nutty🥜🌰 tales and escapades like never before! 🥜📚 Get ready for videos of squirrels 🐿attempting to crack walnuts with tiny hammers or staging epic acorn🌰 heists with secret squirrel agents 🐿️🎩. It's going to be un-be-leaf-ably entertaining!

So, my friends, brace yourselves for a wave of squirrel creativity that'll have you in stitches! 😂 But don't worry, they'll be back to their 🏝tree-climbing, nut-hoarding selves soon enough. Until then, let's keep our eyes👀 peeled for their next upload. Who knows, we might even spot a squirrel🐿 doing the floss dance on TikTok! 💃🐿️

Stay tuned for the squirrelly 🐿shenanigans coming your way! Let's show them some love by sharing their nutty humor with the world. Remember, laughter is always the best medicine, especially when it's served with a side of squirrel craziness! 🤪🥜

🐿️🌰☀️ Summertime Shenanigans with Squirrel Squad! 🐿️🌰☀️🧜‍♂️🏊‍♂️

We've been hanging by the pool 🏊‍♂️🐳🛝🌊and enjoying family nut 🥜🌰 collecting time.

Guess who's making a splash at the pool this summer? 🏊‍♂️🌊 That's right, folks! We've got a poolside squirrel🐿, collecting nuts🌰 and turning heads with its freestyle strokes!🏊‍♂️ 😎🥜 But wait, there's more!

Not only is this furry 🐿daredevil soaking up the Texas sun☀️, but it's also embarking on a wild convenience store adventure. 😲🏪
Imagine this little squirrel 🐿casually strolling down the magazine aisle, only to find they need to blind their baby squirrels🐿 eyes 👀 in a *gasp* "squirrely" section! 🐿️🔞 Talk about a nutty🌰🥜 parental situation!

Life's never dull when you're a squirrel🐿 living it up in Texas! Stay tuned for more outrageous tales of sunbathing squirrels 🐿and their X-***ed exploits. 🌰🌞 Just remember, folks, keep your nuts🥜🌰 safe and your baby squirrels far, far away from the magazine rack! 🙄🙈

Ladies and gentlemen, gather around and prepare to have your minds blown!🤯 I have an earth-shattering revelation that will forever change the way you see those innocent, fluffy creatures we call squirrels🐿. Brace yourselves, because squirrels🐿 are not just simple 🌰nut-gatherers anymore... they are spies! 🕵️‍♂️ 🐿

Yes, you heard me right. Those seemingly adorable little critters 🐿have been masquerading as innocent nut 🌰collectors while secretly collecting human nuts! Don't worry, I'm not talking about anything inappropriate here. I'm talking about information, secrets, and classified data.

Picture this: squirrels🐿 sneaking around, wearing tiny trench coats and sunglasses, their bushy tails acting as secret communication devices. They scurry up and down trees🌳, using their tiny paws to tap into Wi-Fi networks, hacking into government systems, and stealing all sorts of classified information. They are the ultimate espionage agents, going unnoticed right under our noses.

Imagine walking through the park, innocently eating your sandwich, when suddenly you notice a squirrel 🐿staring at you with those beady little eyes. What's it thinking? Is it assessing your nut🥜🌰 collection skills or just trying to decode your secret password? Who knows! Maybe it's writing a report on your lunch preferences for the secret squirrel 🐿headquarters.

And don't even get me started on their acrobatic skills! Those nimble creatures can traverse power lines and tree🌳 branches with unmatched agility. They have been trained in parkour, scaling buildings and conducting covert operations without breaking a sweat. Forget James Bond; we've got the Squirrel🐿 Squad!

So, my dear friends, the next time you see a squirrel🐿 scurrying by, remember that it might just be a secret agent on a mission to collect human nuts.🥜🌰 Keep an eye out for suspicious behavior, encrypt your conversations, and guard your picnic baskets with extra diligence. Because in this crazy world, you can never be too sure about those seemingly innocent, 🥜🌰nut-hoarding spies we call squirrels!🐿
We bet you'll look and laugh at squirrels🐿 from now on. What are they🐿 really doing behind the scenes?

🐿 Attention, Facebookverse! This is Nutty McSquirrel, and boy, do I have a nutty tale for you! 🌰🐿

So, picture this: I stumble upon this juicy hazelnut,🌰 ready to satisfy my snack cravings. I go to grab it, and BAM! Blocked on Twitter! Can you believe it? A hazelnut🌰 thinks it can stand in the way of my squirrelly 🐿glory!? 😤😂

But fear not, my beloved followers! I shall not be defeated by this tiny nut🌰 obstacle. Consider this squirrel on a mission! 🐿💪

‼️Also, to the squirrel🐿 Army‼️Stay tuned, because tonight at 5:30 PM sharp, I'll be starring in the wildest, nuttiest movie you've ever seen! 🎥🍿 Get your popcorn ready, grab your squirrel 🐿squad, and let's embark on an epic adventure filled with acorns🌰, peanuts 🥜,hijinks, and maybe a cameo from a famous chipmunk! 😉🌰 📚

Remember, folks, there's no nutty🥜 challenge too big for this squirrel!🐿 Let's crack open the laughter together and make this Friday night unforgettable! 🎉🐿

🌰

📣 Hold onto your acorns, folks! 📣 The BIG Event (think squirrel Olympics but less nuts🌰, more service) is sprinting into KISD on Saturday, April 6, 2024! 🥳 It's an all-paws-on-deck situation: students, parents, teachers, staff from all 42 🤯 campuses – everyone's invited!

This service event isn't just about community unity (though we're all about that squirrelly solidarity🐿️💪), it's also a grand opportunity to show some heartfelt thanks 🙏 for those who give back to KISD in every way imaginable!

C'mon, don't be a nut-hoarding hermit.🌰 Check out the video and website for more deets, and remember, not everything has to be a nutty endeavour. Sometimes it's just about giving back! 👇



🔗 http://www.kellerisd.net/TheBigEvent

🎥 https://youtu.be/O4ZDY9V_EJg

The Big Event 2024 Teaser The Big Event returns to Keller ISD on April 6, 2024...

Oh, honey-roasted acorns! 🌰🍯 Seems our dear Giovanni has hurled me and my squirrel kin from his 'verified' FaceBook realm. The audacity! A delegate of the Texas house, whose jurisdiction houses my squirrel tribe and I. Was it my vocal cawing that rustled his feathers? (or maybe one of his helpers had delicate ears). 🐿📣🙉

Oh, the moment my clan called out his antics, he recoiled like a nut allergy. (Possibly because his strings are tugged by the RINO puppeteers) 🐿️🌰💥💀

The absurdity of this 'representative' is as evident as my allergy to nuts! The cherry on the sundae? I'm sure it flirts with the illegal, given my kin and I are dwellers in his demesne. 🐿🍦🍒👮‍♀️

Wouldn't it be a chuckle if all you nut lovers brought his actions to light? 🐿️🔦🌰 For a RINO is always a RINO, much like my eternal nut curse. 🐿️🚫🌰😂🏛️

🐿️🎉 Calling all patriotic squirrel enthusiasts! 🥜🌰

Guess what, my nutty🌰🇺🇸 friends? I discovered a hidden treasure right here in Keller, and it's called the antique shop on 377 and Keller Parkway! 🌳🏬✨ Now, hold onto your acorns🌰 because this place is pure squirrel🐿 heaven! 😍

I 🐿swung by to explore, and let me tell you, folks, it's a fantastic patriotic🇺🇸 squirrel 🐿place ! From walnut cabinets to chestnut chandeliers, they've got it all. It's like they designed this place with squirrels🐿 in mind! 🌰🏺

But wait, there's more! It seems there are a few bad 🌰🥜 out there who just can't appreciate this 🐿squirrel-approved gem. 🙄 Well, my fellow nut🥜🌰 collectors, that just means more delicious fodder for us! The doubters are missing out while we gather our 🌰acorn-stuffed pockets full of antique goodness. 😜💼

So, if you're as nutty 🥜🌰as I am and love collecting treasures while enjoying a good laugh, head over to the antique shop on 377 and Keller Parkway. Trust me, folks, it's the perfect spot to satisfy your inner squirrel while scoring some awesome finds! 🐿️🎁🌰🇺🇸













Remember, my squirrelly🐿 pals, life is too short to not embrace the joy of collecting nuts🥜 and laughing along the way! 🐿️🌰✨🇺🇸🇺🇸

The squirrels 🐿have been summoned...👀

🎓🥱😴 Graduation at 8 am on Memorial Day? Keller High School, are you nuts? 🐿️🌰💤

I mean, seriously, who thought it was a good idea to schedule the kiddos big day at the crack of dawn? 🌄 Do they really expect the humans to rise and shine, put on their fancy clothes 👗👔, and drag themselves to Dickies Arena in the wee hours? Humans can barely manage to wake up in time ⏰️ for brunch!🥞🥯

It's like they expect humans to be like squirrels🐿, waking up early to collect our nuts🌰. But hey, even 🐿squirrels have better excuses than humans. Squirrels are always preparing for winter survival, while the humans are just trying to make it through a ceremony without faceplanting on stage.

So, here's to all the sleepy😴 graduates who will be stumbling their way to graduation. May your coffee ☕️be strong, your eyeliner be even, and your yawns 🥱 be hidden behind fake smiles. Let's hope the speakers have mastered the art of keeping you awake, or else you'll have a sea 🌊 of graduates dreaming about their pillow fort diplomas.

Congratulations to all KISD graduates, but especially Keller High School Class of 2023 for having to be up at the crack of dawn! You made it through late-night study sessions, cafeteria mysteries, and early morning hair catastrophes. Now, go and conquer this early bird 🐦graduation like the champions you are!

🐿️ Squirrel's Nutty Revelation: Snakes and Nuts Are Two Peas in a Pod! 🐍🥜

Hey there, fellow tree-dwellers and snack enthusiasts! It's your favorite acorn aficionado, the🐿 Squirrel with a zest for nutty 🌰adventures. Today, I've stumbled upon a mind-boggling discovery that's sending my tiny squirrel 🐿brain into a frenzy. Brace yourselves, my furry friends, for I bring you the startling truth: snakes 🐍and nuts 🌰might just be long-lost cousins!

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Squirrel, you've gone nuts!" 🐿🥜But trust me, this revelation will leave you rolling on the forest floor with laughter. Here's my completely scientific and slightly 🥜nutty evidence to support this squirrely hypothesis:

1. Shape-Shifting Shenanigans: Picture this: a snake 🐍slithering through the grass, effortlessly bending and contorting its serpentine body into jaw-dropping shapes. Now, imagine a nut🌰, a humble almond, doing the nutty equivalent of yoga, twisting and turning in your paws. Coincidence? I think not! Snakes🐍 and nuts 🌰share an innate talent for shape-shifting shenanigans.

2. Camouflaging Masters: Just like us squirrels🐿 and our sneaky🌳 tree-hugging abilities, snakes🐍 are the ultimate masters of camouflage. They blend seamlessly into their surroundings, waiting patiently for their unsuspecting prey. And guess what? Nuts🥜 have their own little game of hide-and-seek. Ever try finding a buried acorn🌰 in a squirrel's secret stash? It's like a 🥜nutty version of Where's Waldo! Snakes🐍 and nuts🥜, the undisputed kings of blending in.

3. The Element of Surprise: Snakes🐍 have a knack for startling us woodland creatures with their swift and unexpected movements. One moment, you're innocently hopping around🐿🐿🐿, and the next, you're face-to-face with a slithering reptile🐍 ready to say, "Hello, neighbor!" Well, nuts🌰 have their way of surprising us too. How many times have you seen a seemingly innocent nut🌰, only to find an unexpected worm or insect hiding inside? Talk about nutty🥜 surprises!

4. Striking Similarities: Have you ever noticed the uncanny resemblance between a coiled snake🐍 and a cluster of peanuts?🥜🥜🥜🥜🐿 Just imagine a snake-shaped balloon filled with salty deliciousness. It's like a reptilian doppelgänger, ready to fool even the most astute 🌰nut-cracking squirrel. Snakes🐍 and nuts🌰, separated at birth but connected by their awe-inspiring appearance.

So, my fellow squirrelly🐿 comrades, let's embrace this newfound kinship between snakes 🐍and nuts.🥜 The next time you see a snake🐍 slithering through the undergrowth, give it a friendly nod and say, "Hey, hazelnut!" 🌰And the next time you munch on a nut🥜, whisper a heartfelt "Thank you" to your distant reptilian🐍 relative.

Remember, life is full of surprises, just like a snake🐍 hiding in a peanut🥜 shell. Stay nutty🥜🌰, stay curious, and keep those tails wagging 🐿with laughter!

Yours in nutty camaraderie,
The Squirrel Extraordinaire 🐿️

*** VERY IMPORTANT NU…T, Um, POST***

Well, well, well, the winds of the fiscal year are blowing and rustling my proverbial tail! 🐿️💨 Allow me, your neighborhood nut enthusiast with an unfortunate nut allergy, to elucidate the happenings at KISD's meeting this Monday May 22nd. We're cracking open a biggie - the 2023-2024 school budget, with the fresh faces, John Birt and Chris Coker, at the helm. 🥜🚫

Why, you may ask? Because we're squirreling away about $10M in the tree hole of deficit for a second year! 🌳💸 Might I add, the big heads at the superintendent's tree haven't even chirped a warning about it, even though they've known since the last leaf fall. 🍂🤐

Speaking of nuts, you wouldn't believe our predicament with the public school funds in Texas! They might as well hand out peanuts. (Yes, the irony hurts me, too!) 🥜💔 It's like signing up for a lifelong membership at the Broke Squirrel Club!

Let me squirrel this thought in your head: What if we, instead of tossing out precious resources from the bottom (teachers and vital programs), started to cut at the top level? It's only fair. Think about it. If we have to share our nuts, let's start with those who’ve gathered the most! 💡🌰

Our dear KISD family, our acorn-seekers, and their future are dangling from the highest branch! 🌳🙏 We need to do something before the branch snaps, and our beloved educators start dropping like acorns in the fall. So, instead of spinning cats (sounds hilarious but confusing, right? 😂🐈‍⬛), let's prioritize those who are always under the tree, hands-on with our nutlets.

Come together, KISD folks! Let's be the chitter-chatter that sparks change at this board meeting. 🐿️📢 Your voice counts, and trust me, the board has the hearing of a bat, they need you to sign up and speak up. 🦇🎙️ Together, let's create a better future for our tiny acorns, so they can grow into mighty oaks! 💪🌳

Thanks for enduring this long-winded squirrel's chattering! 😄 🙌🏻

P.S. Remember, I'm just a humble squirrel who loves collecting nuts but can't eat them, facing the paradox of life one day at a time! 😉

https://www.facebook.com/100064094642895/posts/631503422329474/?mibextid=DcJ9fc

Be careful heading to church ⛪️ today with your adorable baby 👶 🐿squirrels! Just a quick reminder to fellow squirrels 🐿parents: let's keep those innocent 🐿eyes 👀👶 away from adult🐿 billboards on the way. Let's create a positive and wholesome environment for our little ones. 🙏❤️
🐿🌰🌳🥜
🌯
🌮
!

Ha! 🐿️ Today, my friends, I find myself rolling in the woodland, an untouched acorn in the grand forest of Facebook. Spared the scrutinizing gaze of an anonymous ranger, my tree hasn't been shaken! 😂

There's an odd charm in remaining an overlooked nut in the forest's social networking canopy. Much like that elusive pecan hidden away for the winter, and then...achoo! Ah, the tragicomic irony of a squirrel allergic to nuts! 😭

One might say it's like...oh no, I almost unleashed the metaphors! 😅

Anyway, no post-it notes stuck on my bark today! So, I'll scamper back to my nut-free nibbles, sipping my anti-allergenic herbal tea. 😎

Safety check: Successfully marked as a stealthy squirrel avoiding virtual acorns. Bless the netizens and their capricious aim! 😜

P.S. Remember, in the grand scheme of things, we are all but humans wandering through a cosmic forest. Let's keep our nuts...err, wits about us! 🌰💫

Stay sassy, stay safe! 😁