Mental Health Minute

at Kenya Summit… inspired by Spring flowers - daffodils, Hyacinth, etc…

Kansas City area ‘springs’ with new beginnings - yet all the suffering and challenges around us… Count ur barak & bariki others as well - it’s the Kenyan thing!

Sadly 😞 we have a shortage of ethnically training therapist in the U.S, with relevant contextual experience to support Kenyans in diaspora.

Mental Health Minute intend to bridge the gap by connecting you with experienced & qualified Kenyan Counselors and Therapist!

… our counselor will refer clients to psychiatrist for meds, as soon as possible, when assessment points to the need for a team treatment approach.

Counselors note: a fair fight in the name of love!

MASTERING THE ART OF FIGHTING FAIR

EVEN the most passionate love partners do occasionally hit a rocky road, conflict is unavoidable. The key to conquering conflict lies in empathy, active listening, understanding that both parties have a ‘dog in the fight’, and aware that disagreements will happen, and the most important thing is to create a safe space for accepting and resolving disagreements.

PICTURE an environment where trust reigns supreme and partners fearlessly voice differences without the worry of some sort of punishment, abandonment, or exploitation – in other words, fighting fair.

FOR couples to fight fair and create a safe environment for disagreements, the following ground rules may need to be observed:

i. No ultimatums: These are non-negotiable demands. Fair fighting is about active listening, allowing each person room to negotiate.

ii. No one is a winner: If one of you loses, you both lose, it's about learning and growing together.

iii. Speak your truth: Do not let conflict or fear silence your voice; gently find a way, space and time to say exactly what you mean.

iv. Avoid accusations and attacks: Own your feelings before pointing fingers. In developed countries we call this using the “I” pronoun and avoiding “you”. For example, instead of saying, “You are mad at me all the time”, you’d say, “I feel like you are mad at me all the time”.

v. Repeat and confirm what you think you heard: Ensure your partner’s messages are received and acknowledged as intended. Confirm, the spoken word and the intended meaning.

vi. Silence is not always golden: Resist the allure of the silent treatment, as this is a form of abandonment. If the disagreement is ‘hot’, try to take a time-out and state when to reengage the conversation.

vii. Avoid use of s*x to manipulate your partner: S*x is sometimes used as a tool or weapon in an argument, either by withdrawing the privileges or by engaging in it to avoid facing conflicts. Glossing over the issue is not an option.

viii. Stay present and focused: Constructive fights need to focus on the present - the issues at hand. Resurrecting past simply exacerbates the disagreement.

DISCUSS the above points (plan) with your partner, when love is still supreme - you owe it to each other. It will be extremely difficult to think straight when in-conflict, the last think in your mind is talking about a safe environment for disagreements.

AND, should you need some help before, during or after a disagreement, to keep you love going, we'd like to help.

WE RECOMMEND one of our good family and marriage counselor at Hope Kenya USA. Check us out Mental Health Minute

NAVIGATING RELATIONSHIP STORMS

Truth be known. Love is an extreme sport! A wild ride tends to explode, when passion is added into the mix. Then, there is conflict,

Conflict sets fire 🔥 to relationships when two individuals fall in love and bring to each other diverse life experiences; unique stories that will at some point, collide.

Oh, and then... comes intimacy, that catalyst, the one that fuels the fire of interpersonal conflicts!

Another truth, the more the intimacy the greater the opportunity for conflict. We know, conflict could and will, in fact, degenerate into verbal and physical battles.

To keep the love while effectively address the ugliness of conflict, think of 'this battlefield’ in three ways:

1. There is Pseudo Conflict - a tricky illusion of disagreement that could easily be addressed with active listening and clear communication, - both parties must be able to and willing to ‘dance’.

2. There is Simple Conflict - typically caused by a debate over ‘tribal’ topics such as s*x, finances, In-laws, etc.

3. And there is Ego Conflict - a primal clash of personalities that takes a life of its own, tends to ignore the original issue; it's characterized by name calling, verbal abuse and blaming. This conflict tends to put both parties on the defensive, each one trying to protect what is left of their perceived pride, self-worth and dignity.

Join us in the dance of love and conflict resolution in our next article on fighting fair, in order to empower your relationships, and turn clashes into catalysts for a more profound connection.

FG.

NAVIGATING RELATIONSHIP STORMS

Love is an extreme sport! A wild ride that's bound to explode, when passion is added into the mix.

Conflict ignites a relationship when two individuals find each other - accept each other and bring to each other diverse life stories that will inevitably collide - Not to worry as this is simply the spice of togetherness, a normal 'peacock' dance of differing desires.

Oh, and then... comes intimacy, that catalyst, that fuels the fire of interpersonal conflicts! Now you must remember, more intimacy brings about a greater opportunity for conflict, which is okay, right?

Conflicts, while expected, need not degenerate into verbal and or physical battlefields. It is good to know that there is a silver lining, a constructive approach to settling the conflict.

To effectively address the conflict, think of 'the battlefield’ in 3 ways:

There is Pseudo Conflict - a tricky illusion of disagreement that could easily be addressed with active listening and clear communication, - both parties must be able to and willing to ‘dance’.

There is Simple Conflict - typically caused by a debate over ‘tribal’ topics such as s*x, finances, In-laws, etc.

And there is Ego Conflict - a primal clash of personalities that takes a life of its own, tends to ignore the original issue; it's characterized by name calling, verbal abuse and blaming. This conflict tends to put both parties on the defensive, each one trying to protect what is left of their perceived pride, self-worth and dignity.

Join us in the dance of love and conflict resolution in our next article on fighting fair, in order to empower your relationships, and turn clashes into catalysts for a more profound connection.

FG.

Love, The Toxic Kind

February is the month of love…” Mapenzi, Wendo, Uthaando, etc..” And you may be wondering why your version of love feels more laborious, less joyful and a bit unfulfilling.

Could it be that you have mistaken co-dependency for love? A co-dependent relationship is where a person forms an unhealthy attachment to their partner - excessively relying on them for all their emotional needs, to the point where their own well-being is neglected. Is this you?

For example, you may always prioritize the needs of another person above your own, even though it makes you miserable. You feel that you cannot be okay unless the other person is okay.

Overcoming co-dependency involves self-awareness and taking steps to establish healthier boundaries and self-care. This is not easy to do, but we can assist you.

Mental Health Minute.
A Hope Health Partner.

PUBLIC HEALTH
To help young people with , researchers team up with TikTok influencers…

Replication in Kenya!

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2024/01/05/1221103162/researchers-team-up-with-mental-health-influencers-to-reach-young-people-online #:~:text=Music%20Of%202023-,Researchers%20try%20to%20'influence%20the%20influencers'%20to%20spread%20mental%20health,know%20how%20to%20go%20viral.

To help young people with #mentalhealth, researchers team up with TikTok influencers Harvard professors wanted to flood social media with evidence-based information about conditions like anxiety and depression. So they turned to the people who already know how to go viral.

Strategic plan 2024… at Kenya Summit, we launched a partnership with Equal Minded Cafe; established the KAT monthly meetind KenyaAmerican Technology & Data Professional and we are cautiously work with Ruth and his people at the embassy on this initiative….

President Ruto launches the Diaspora Investment Conference 2023 “The Government appreciates the role played by the Kenyan diaspora in economic growth”, President Ruto said.

Buyers beware! Ruto congratulated Arizona University online graduates - fair enough, although AU Online program is not accredited by HLC.

Context: University and College in Arizona must be accredited HLC to be recognized as quality, transferable and for employers to hire.

#2 - WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

My friends, remember, it is possible to live a rich beautify life even with depression. This may sound absurd, having been taught that a life of faith means a life of victory. When healing doesn’t happen and struggles abides, we wonder, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

Remember, the greater victory in faith is learning to walk with Jesus especially when suffering remains – you are not disqualified from an abundant life promised in the Bible. There is hope, joy and beauty.

How do we know this? Because we see both suffering and joy intertwined in the Bible. Jesus heals some, but some continue suffering even with the presence of the Lord. We simply do not know why.

By staying with me in these study sessions, using this book as guide, my hope is that you have a better understand of the integration of faith and mental health and truly understanding that there is nothing wrong with you and mental illness has NOTHING to do with having less or more faith.

The most important thing is for you to surround yourself with good objective mental health professions - perhaps a counselor and a psychiatrist; supportive friends that you can turn to in your moment of need and knowing the emergency su***de help hotline number.

Reading for the study? Let's go and invite others.

Regards
Friend.

Growing body of research indicates a complex relationship between faith and mental health professionals.

We can have faith AND yet struggle with mental health.

For some, faith can be a powerful sense of support. For others, elements of faith can be part of the painful struggle… faithfully seeking
and asking, where is thy healing oh Jehovah-Rapha?