Julia Greco, LCSW

My dear friend has been on a horrifying cancer journey. Please consider donating if you can 💜

Donate to Janel Needs Your Support, organized by Katie Anne In 2022, I was diagnosed with two different types of breast cancer. Since then, I've undergone a d… Katie Anne needs your support for Janel Needs Your Support

Some of our emotional distress can be exacerbated by the internal chasm between what we currently have the capacity for and the ways we believe we are “supposed” to show up. Just existing sometimes is good enough 💙



Posted • It’s okay to just float sometimes. 🩵

For those of you who engage in ethical non monogamy (ENM), what is your system for re-learning?

Here are some ideas:

✨ talking to friends/partners/metamours
✨ listening to ENM podcasts
✨ participating in ENM discussions or support groups
✨ reading/listening to books on ENM
✨ following the content of ENM educators on social media

We all have different access to and privilege around how we can confront mononormative messages and teachings, and ultimately your support matrix has to work for you, your bandwidth, your access to resources and your learning style. So often when we begin to confront societal frameworks that have given us a “road map,” we may feel scared, anxious and uncertain at the unlearning process. Having an established mental health support space for when/if this happens can also be immensely helpful.

If we fail to maintain awareness on relearning and challenging automatic behavior, we do run the risk of increased internal conflict, misaligned expectations within partnership and a repackaging of mononormative principles labeled as ENM.

So, get out there and un-learn!

If you are a person with breasts, when do you first recall receiving undesired attention for them? And by whom? When do we begin to receive messages that our breasts are something that are inherently s*xual, and thus something to hide, or be shameful for?

Having more body agency as an adult, or choosing to harness a sense of personal empowerment around our physicality can be an incredible healing experience, considering that many of us “learned” our bodies, and particularly breasts, are something to be ashamed of, or something to hide, or something that would make us a “slut” (and not in the self empowered honorific that some of us may have reimagined for ourselves). This messaging often comes as a surprise as we navigate adolescents and teenage hood. How might bodily shame, particularly for people with breasts, change, shift or even have the potential to be extinguished if *others* hadn’t taught us that our breasts were inherently shameful?

*xualization

Posted • Cultural policing of women's bodies starts early and only gets worse with age. Too big, too small, too old, too young —b***s are judged, inspected, grabbed, and censored.

Breasts are wonderfully equal.
No judgment. They’re just b***s.

Happy ✿—from one b**b to another
***s

And in personal accomplishment news—marking over 18 months of nursing :)

Using the terms “clean” and “dirty” when discussing STI/STD results reinforces stigma and implies inherent goodness or badness surrounding STI’s/STD’s. Let’s not do this thing! Being exposed to, carrying or contracting an STI/STD is incredibly common:

💜 67% of people of reproductive age have HSV 1

💜 13% of people of reproductive age have HSV 2

(source: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db304.htm)

💜 75% of people of reproductive age have been exposed to HPV and there is *no* approved test for HPV for people with p***ses

(source: https://www.prb.org/resources/human-papillomavirus-a-hidden-epidemic-in-the-united-states/)

*x

Posted • .slut ✨seriously! pls yall let’s stop referring to ourselves as either “clean” or “dirty” when talking about our STI status

✨it’s very stigmatizing and is super harmful for those of us w a positive status!

✨like yes I have herpes but I am v clean 💁🏻‍♀️

✨unfortunately I’ve seen this all over dating apps (especially apps like which is really frustrating bc that app is ~supposedly~ more seggs positive)✨I usually see “clean” or “must be clean” or something like that usually written right in a profile (so you know I always have to educate these silly geese when I see it lol)

✨the irony here—majority of the time the people who have that on their profile are the ones who don’t get tested bc they think they’re “clean” since they don’t have any symptoms (that they know of), are the type to not use protection, and are just uneducated in how STIs and testing work (like that they most likely don’t know their herpes status since it’s not usually tested for)

✨I made a tiktok about an interaction I recently had which you can head to my story to view✨ this person unmatched so fast after i explained why they shouldn’t say “clean” or “no diseases” lmao

✨let’s use more seggs positive language and avoid stigmatizing words! semantics are key!

For those of us who overfunction (i.e. take on more tasks, duties and responsibilities than are “necessary”), these efforts often help us feel more validated and secure and can decrease anxiety (in the moment). The problem is, there is *always* more to do. For some of us, much much more.

Overfunctioning people may struggle to rest and may feel the need to “earn” rest. Capitalism and a culture based on productivity feed right into this.

Beginning to work on dismantling this behavioral pattern can feel like a vice being ripped away, feeling left with the vulnerable emotion that this overfunctioning often strives to stifle.

Instead of focusing on “stopping” overfunctioning, or depriving yourself that to-do list, focus on being present with one activity or action at a time. That way, you can practice being more attuned and mindful of your current bandwidth and emotional disposition, instead of stuffing those experiences with a preoccupation with what is next on the list.

I loved Alex Newell in Glee!

Celebrating Black trans people in theater ✨

Posted • Life is so heavy right now, but theater, especially Black theater, helps us live. So this , I wanted to shout out just some of the Black trans voices who are transforming the theater experience for all theatergoers. Each and everyone, and those in theaters larger and small across the country, is helping to open the doors of the arts for everyone. Let’s show them love and tag other Black trans people in this post who you want to lift up.

Additionally, I’d like to highlight a few more Black trans trailblazers in theater:


Cece Suazo

Garnet Williams
Davia Spain

Support these artists this month and every month! ❤️🎭

***r ***r

For those of us that engage in people pleasing behavior, we may avoid conflict at all costs, and as a result, have a hyperfixation on conflict.

So often this comes from a place of conflict historically being unsafe, and we have to relearn that “feeling” in conflict in the context of a safe, respectful dynamic may actually just be the unfamiliarity of centering our needs.

Decrease your hypervigilance around conflict by focusing on identifying and articulating your needs, instead. Having this effort be reinforced by kind responses can help strengthen this mechanism.

Happy Trans Week of Visibility! 🏳️‍⚧️

Posted • Let’s kick off Trans Awareness Week with some terminology. How can we have respectful conversations about trans people if we don’t even know the most respectful language? It’s very difficult. Swipe through these to learn a bit about basic trans terminology.

NOTE: Trans people are not a monolith! These suggestions are drawn from the thousands of conversations I’ve had with thousands of trans people but they still cannot possibly represent all of us! If a trans person offers you different language, use that!

If you’re looking for more trans education, check out , and online learning series I created to bring gender literacy to anyone, anywhere. It’s accessible for individuals, schools, and companies, providing training on over 40 trans topics such as transitioning, coming out, trans people in sports, trans healthcare, and so many more. Visit LaneChanger.com to learn more!

QT’s

***r

Posted • Big announcement especially for those you already support me on patreon! Please if you subscribed to 15$ tier you will have to change it 💖 and obviously new patrons are super welcome to join this new tier 🥰

notesofanagingpervert.com “Those years of sluthood taught me more than you could imagine about friendship, about connection, about pain, about ecstasy, and about where all those experiences intersect – a nexus w…

Read below!



Posted • Having privilege doesn't inherently make you a bad person, nor was the concept of privilege created to make people feel singled out or guilty.

But whether you realize it or not, there is such thing as benefitting from privilege. People can also be privileged in more ways than one—not just regarding skin color. It's about what you do with your privilege that matters most— how do you use your privilege to uplift marginalized voices? How do you use your privilege to bring awareness to issues that aren't discussed in mainstream media or conversations?

Recognizing privilege means acknowledging that some people can't afford the same experiences as others without working twice as hard. It means acknowledging that there is no such thing as a level playing field. Gender identity, skin color, race, nationality, s*xual orientation, ability, and class all influence the ways in which someone is treated or discriminated against.

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We can’t be spun out and be rational at the same time.

We can’t be triggered and integrate concrete information simultaneously.

We can’t be disregulated and consider alternative perspectives concurrently.

When we are in a trauma response (fight-flight-freeze-fawn) or experiencing PTSD symptoms, the areas of our brain that dictate rational thought go OFF LINE.

Give yourself a winning shot in conflict by first identifying which *behaviors or feelings* of yours indicate being triggered, and then give yourself what you need to combat disregulation. This could look like:

💜 going for a walk
💜 taking a shower
💜 journaling
💜 putting your legs up a wall
💜 doing box breathing (4 in, 4 out)
💜 putting an ice pack on your sternum

Practice some of these tactics before you are in a disregulated space to make accessing them a little bit easier.

i return to this over and over. when i feel like i’m giving work everything but not feeling fulfilled in return. i return to this before taking on new projects. will it be worth my time and energy? i return to this when i’m burned out. depressed. lonely. and most often what i find is that i’ve fallen for that old trick again. the one where i start believing that joy can be found anywhere other than within. the one where i start believing the lie that more productivity = better business. that better business = more happiness and satisfaction. that more work now means less work later.

if one poem could embody all of ‘home body’- this would be it.

page 107

A useful reminder! The only behavior you can control is your own.



Posted • BAES framework refresher

Picnic, anyone?

***r ***ge

🔥🔥🔥

Posted • Prints available in my shop!
🧺Picnic with *xy and as a charcuterie board. 🥕🍎 🍋 🍓

Who likes getting messy with food items?

An ideal way to celebrate your body may be sitting in a cake, or drizzling a squeeze bear of honey over your bottom.

Go ahead, get messy. But consider having a shower nearby, avoid food items making contact with vaginal openings and perhaps even lay down a tarp!

It’s like finger painting. But for adults. With your butt!

🍯 🎂 🍑

**m

Posted • It’s A**l August bbs and Friday night so go wild🍑 but I also leave you with three small things:

1. Drink water
2. Charge your toys
3. Know your STI Status — even if you don’t think you have it. There’s no shame in getting tested and there’s manageable medication for anyone who has an STI. we need to get rid of that cringeworthy stigma surrounding it 👏

Thick, Thirsty and Thriving

If we choose to open up an existing relationship to some form of ethical non monogamy, it is common for folks in the partnership to discuss and implement various “rules” or boundaries.

These rules or boundaries may be implemented for many reasons, and ultimately each of us are allowed to decide what works best for us and our partnership(s) (it is, however, your responsibility to communicate to all parties involved what your limitations are proactively).

So often in these early stages of opening up, folks have a distorted perspective around limitations of connection. It is not uncommon to assume that implementing various rules (ex: no sleep overs, separate toy bags, no weekend get aways, no falling in love) might protect the existing relationship, and null out the possibility of developing feelings outside of the partnership, but this is not realistic.

We can control our behavior, and we may be able to avoid situations that increase our own experience of intimacy and closeness, but it’s important to recognize that when you open up your heart, things may happen 💜

***r

Freedom for whom? Please read.



Posted • My friend shared these slides & it incapsulates today perfectly. Until a few years ago I always celebrated this holiday because it's the day before my birthday so it always felt like an extra party for me 🫠 It wasn't until I really understood why people say: "None of us are free until we are all free" that I stopped celebrating "Independence day."

No one is saying that you can't enjoy your hotdog today or your fireworks, but please just remember while y'all are celebrating that America was literally built on the backs of indigenous folks that we murdered & tortured. Your "cute" plantation homes were possible because of slavery. I know this is gonna upset some of y’all but I honestly don’t care. I hope you’re upset when you learn the TRUTH about our "land of the free."

We can't undo the generations of pain white Americans have caused, but we can at least acknowledge the reality & do our best to not let history repeat itself. Lastly to anyone who might say "well I didn't do anything, it was people who came before me so I don't get why I'm being punished for it" 🫠 White folks have benefited & continue to benefit from white supremacy. That's why.

Happy Pride Babes!

Go q***r smooch on someone, if you’re (and they’re) into that kind of thing 🌈

***r *x ***rs*x

Posted • I just wanted to draw rainbow lips okay? 🙃 Happy Pride 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

Deep breathing doesn’t fix a broken system.

Posted • Monday mood-board.

Take care of yourselves and smash the system. 🔥

Credit: via

For most of us, “mindfulness” and meditation can feel like an unattainable practice of experiencing peacefulness or tranquility.

In reality, being mindful is really just about noticing things: your thoughts, body sensations or contact points. Noticing, as if all of your thoughts are simply passing in front of you in a river.

It’s likely you are mindful much more than you realize; when you test the temperature of the bath water and notice the warmth, walk across the grass barefoot to get the mail and notice the prickles of the blades of grass, turn your head toward the sound of birds chirping and notice the tree branches swaying in the wind outside. And play is no exception! When you notice the feel of the colored paper beneath your fingers as you create a craft, this can be practicing mindfulness.

Dig in to these moments of mindfulness, this cognitive escape, and grant yourself an additional resource to help manage the stress of the day.

Have you ever found yourself attracted to taboo styles of s*xual expression that may leave you feeling somewhat uncomfortable?

**m *xpositive

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