Kayleerosetherapy

Big shoutout to the fierce, fabulous Mommy Doms who keep their subs in line with love, care, and maybe a little bit of discipline 😉

Nurturing comes in many forms. Here's to the Mommy Doms 🌟💖

**MMommy ***r

Reflection Questions-

Where am I pretending?
Where am I hiding parts of myself?
Where do I perform my worth?
Who can I be my full self with?
What thoughts and fears hold me back from allowing myself to be in my fullness with everyone in my life?
Where is that protection necessary for safety and where might it be an old fear to re-examine?

It never feels good to be rejected, but sometimes it saves us a lot of time and energy when people who are not for us let us go.

And hey, there’s always the possibility that when we allow our full selves to show up, others who are more aligned will actually join the party 🎉

Doing the aligned, loving thing for ourselves will almost ALWAYS look different from person to person.

There is no objective “right” way to live.

Our ego LOVES to take our own shame and turn it into judgments of others. It’s scary to entertain the idea that the “thing” that I’m afraid would destroy me is actually your medicine, because if I accept that what’s for you may not be for me and vice versa, I can no longer feel “right” based on some universal truth about rightness.

I actually have to examine what is “right” based on my own needs, values, and choices.

That’s a lot more work…

There’s a lot more pressure and responsibility in making intentional decisions for yourself rather than just doing what society (family, culture etc) says is “right” automatically.

So, if I make you wrong and bad then I don’t have to do the work of examining why my choice is “right” for me.

Next time you feel judgment arise, I’d invite you to get really curious. Is it possible that this judgment is protecting you from facing something about your own choice?

What is something you felt deeply judgmental about earlier in life that you’ve now accepted as a valid way to live?

Power is inherent in every relationship you have, but you probably mostly ignore it, and pretend we’re all equal.

The truth is, we all come to the table with different amounts of power in different areas of our lives.

B/D/S/M for those that are interested, can help us explore that power intentionally and consciously.

Playing with power and surrender can be an incredible source of self awareness building, empowerment, pleasure, healing, and creativity.

If you have a submissive side you like to play with, where do you fall within these archetypes?

What questions, insights, or curiosities arise as you read through this list?

**For the those unfamiliar with the culture of B/D/S/M, it’s important to note that all of this role-playing takes place within a context of very intentional negotiation, safety, and consent. Without those practices, it’s not B/D/S/M, it’s abuse.

**MSubmissives **MCommunity **MExploration

One of the most fun parts of B/D/S/M is getting to explore different parts of yourself through play.

If you’re new to the scene, you may not realize how many flavors there are of Dominance and submission to explore.

In fact, there are as many different ways to play with power as there are humans doing the playing.

Here are some common “types” of Dominants, just to get your mind inspired.

After all, you can’t be curious about something you know nothing about!

Each type of Dominant brings their own strengths, preferences, and style to the dynamic, creating a rich and diverse landscape of power exchange experiences within the B/D/S/M community.

Obviously these are not well defined categories, and everyone creates their own style of Dominance based on their own needs, skills, and preferences.

Where do you fall within these descriptions?
How do you describe yourself?
What questions or curiosities arises as you read through this

**For the those unfamiliar with the culture of B/D/S/M, it’s important to note that all of this role-playing takes place within a context of very intentional negotiation, safety, and consent. Without those practices, it’s not B/D/S/M, it’s abuse.

**MDominants **MCommunity

For some, healing porous or rigid boundaries is healing trauma.

While we can all improve how we set & maintain boundaries, for some the work goes deeper than practicing a script.

If you have developmental trauma, there may be some reprocessing work that is needed in order to feel grounded and safe enough to risk rupture or disconnection in intimate relationships.

When we can name and describe our fear, and then develop strategies for managing it, the process becomes a little easier.

What has empowered you to get better at boundaries?
What are some challenges you’re still working on?

Let’s talk about B**M. 💥

There’s so much misinformation floating around about this complex and diverse realm of human s*xuality.

Here are some common myths I hear from non-kinky folks-

Myth: B**M is all about pain.
Truth: While some B**M practices may involve pain, B**M is primarily about power dynamics, trust, and consent. Pain is just one aspect and is often consensual and pleasurable for those involved.

Myth: B**M is abusive.
Truth: B**M is rooted in mutual consent, communication, and respect. It’s about exploring desires and boundaries in a safe and consensual way. Abuse and B**M are entirely different, and consent is always paramount.

Myth: B**M is only for damaged people.
Truth: People from all walks of life engage in B**M, and it has nothing to do with being damaged. B**M can be a healthy and fulfilling expression of s*xuality for individuals and couples who enjoy exploring power dynamics and kinks.

Myth: B**M is always extreme.
Truth: B**M encompasses a wide range of activities, from mild bo***ge and role-playing to more intense practices like impact play and edge play. What’s considered extreme varies from person to person, and many enjoy B**M in a safe and controlled manner.

Myth: B**M is only for heteros*xual couples.
Truth: B**M is inclusive of all s*xual orientations and genders. People of any s*xual orientation can enjoy B**M, whether they’re in a relationship or single, and it can enhance intimacy and connection regardless of gender identity.

Myth: B**M is anti-feminist.
Truth: B**M is about consensual power exchange, and feminism is about empowering individuals to make choices about their bodies and s*xuality. Many feminists engage in B**M as a form of s*xual expression and empowerment.

B**M, like any other form of consensual s*xual expression, deserves understanding, respect, and acceptance. 💕

**MMyths **M

Why are we measuring the “success” of a relationship based on its length?

If we stay in an unsupportive, unhealthy relationship for 20 years does that mean we did romantic relationships “successfully?”

Really think about your relational values here.

For me, a relationship was successful if it held space for joy and pleasure, helped us grow and achieve goals, facilitated healing, or expanded our world view and self-understanding.

The length is inconsequential.

That doesn’t mean we don’t feel grief when we let something go, but we can see a relationship as a success no matter how long it lasted if it added value to our lives.

Nothing in life is permanent, and not everything is for every season.

How do you measure the success of a relationship?

It’s beautiful to be inspired by others…to see parts of ourselves in others we’d like to amplify or deepen.

We are supposed to affect and be affected by one another.

However, rejecting parts of ourselves as “bad” and trying to become someone different will never get you where you want to be.

The path to a grounded sense of self is to go deeper inward rather than to follow another’s path.

Sometimes we may need a guide to help us find clarity or a path forward in the midst of our inner-forest, but true answers always lie within.

If you feel like you’re always looking for someone to tell you what’s next, what you “should” do or how to fix your problems, that may be a sign that you need to develop a deeper relationship to self.

For those of you on that journey, what practices have been most helpful or supportive?

When people say relationships are hard, I tend to agree, but I think a lot of people use that trope to accept toxic, damaging, or unhealthy dynamics.

There’s too much context in relationships for me to give you rules around this, but here are some reflection questions that might help…

🌱Is this relationship helping me grow or am I growing despite it?

🌱 If this relationship is triggering my childhood stuff, is it also holding space for me to have corrective experiences around that same stuff?

🌱 Overall, am I evolving or feeling stuck?

🌱 Are we co-creating a positive dynamic?

🌱 What patterns am I noticing?

🌱 Am I learning from challenges?

🌱 Are boundaries being respected?

🌱 Do I feel safe, and if not, does my partner acknowledge there is work to do?

🌱 How do I feel about my individual identity?

🌱 Am I encouraged to prioritize my well-being within this relationship?

🌱 What do I envision for the future? Does my parent envision the same things?

What comes up as you read this list of reflection questions?

I know that I can feel warmth and appreciation towards almost anyone.

It’s easy for me to fall in love.

Add a layer of people pleasing in there, disappointing people is difficult.

But if I’ve learned anything in this season of my life, it’s that hanging onto people who are incompatible only causes more pain for everyone down the road.

Having a scarcity mindset around relationships will keep you in connection that doesn’t serve you or that other person.

It will simply build resentment, overtime, which kills the possibility of healthy connection anyway.

Learn to let go.
It’s okay to say, “No thank you.”
Keep searching for your people/person.

Have you struggled to let go when you see incompatibility but you really like other things about the person? How did you handle that?

Our core erotic desires are not politically correct.

They are an unconscious and inexplicable product of many factors, including all the imprinting from our childhood s*xual experiences.

Approaching our eroticism with non-judgment and radical acceptance is necessary for experiencing the full range of pleasure available to us.

Please don’t straw-man me here…I’m not saying your BEHAVIOR should go against your own values!!

⚠️ How we conduct ourselves as far as being safe, taking personal responsibility, and always making sure our conduct is consensual is important. In fact, it’s vital that the container for experiencing our erotic desires is safe and grounded and everyone involved is fully consenting.

What I mean is that judging ourselves for what we like s*xually only builds shame and blocks us from being able to fully experience all parts of ourselves, cultural conditioning and all.

Practice radical self acceptance, compassion, and nonjudgmental observation and see what happens.

When we allow ourselves to experience all the parts of ourselves, even the parts that society may deem taboo, healing takes place.

Thoughts, reactions, questions?

*xualPleasure *xualShame *xualFreedom *xuality *xualEmpowerment *xuality

Falling into the trap of parenting your partner is a death sentence for eros... (unless you're intentionally in a k*nk dynamic that includes that role play, of course 😏)

Example- You’re frustrated that your partner is on their phone too often. It would be easy to judge and criticize the behavior, & tell them how they need to change it. “You’re on your phone way too much! You should set a screen time limit for yourself. Have some self-discipline!”

Instead of parenting your partner, try this instead-

1. Start with "I" Statements: Instead of pointing fingers or placing blame, focus on your own feelings and experiences.

“I’ve been feeling a little disconnected from you and I’m sad about it”

2. Be Specific: Clearly outline the issue at hand. keeping it simple and avoiding meaning-making or judgements.

“I’ve noticed you are often on your phone when we’re spending time together.”

3. Express Your Needs: Clearly communicate what you need from your partner to address the issue.

“I need some quality, screen-free time with you to feel connected.”

4. Listen Actively: Validate their feelings, even if you disagree with their perspective. (They should hopefully do the same for you).

5. Collaborate on Solutions: Instead of dictating what your partner should do (parenting), approach the conversation as a team. Brainstorm potential solutions together.

By focusing on your own experiences and needs, you can encourage growth and understanding without resorting to a parental dynamic.

What has your experience of this dynamic been? What has helped most in shifting out of the parental role if you find yourself in it?

If it were true that being in love meant you wouldn’t be attracted to other people, we wouldn’t need to agree to monogamy…it would just be a natural biological imperative and nobody would have to “decide” on it.

It’s much more likely that you can love many people, and be attracted to many people simultaneously without that having to mean anything about how you feel about your partner.

What you choose to DO with those feelings is a whole different topic of discussion.

That doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to be in a relationship with more than one person, that is a personal choice to make for yourself.

All relational styles are valid, and come with pro’s and con’s.

I’m just here to say that having those feelings is okay, natural, and should not be a reason you doubt how much you love or care for your partner.

Let your choices and behaviors around how you honor the agreements in your relationship speak to that instead.

Thoughts? Fears? Reflections?

I recently had a dude (thanks dating apps!) tell me that he doesn't want to hear about his partner's s*xual history because it "really changes a woman when she has had a lot of partners."

Let's debunk a pervasive myth that's been lingering far too long in our cultural narrative: the notion that a woman's physiology undergoes significant changes with each s*xual partner she has. 🙅‍♀️💔

This is an outdated and misogynistic belief.�It’s perpetuated by insecure men who want to control women’s s*xuality.

Here's the truth: a woman's physiology is not fundamentally altered by her sxual experiences or the number of partners she engages with. 🌸✨ While there may be temporary changes in lubrication, muscle tension, or vaginal pH during sxual activity, these variations are normal physiological responses that occur in the moment and do not permanently alter a woman's body.

The idea that a woman's value or purity is somehow tied to her sxual history is not only false but deeply harmful. 🛑👎

People should not be judged, shamed, or stigmatized based on their sxual choices or experiences.
Each person should have the autonomy to explore their s*xuality in ways that feel authentic and fulfilling to them, free from societal scrutiny or condemnation.

Furthermore, perpetuating the myth of physiological changes reinforces harmful stereotypes about women's bodies and perpetuates sxual double standards. 🔄👩‍⚖️

We all have a right to autonomy, pleasure, and sxual self-expression 💖 �Have you hear this bu****it before?

Share your thoughts below!
(Misinformation & dudebro comments will be deleted 🌈 )

Power Exchange is one way to build intimacy and elevate your connection with your partner(s) 💃✨

Ever heard of power exchange dynamics?
It's all about the dance of energy and authority in a relationship, where partners willingly and consensually explore roles of dominance and submission. 💃🔥

It's not about one person having all the control while the other follows blindly. It’s a beautiful, intricate interplay of trust, communication, and mutual empowerment. 💬💖

Here's why power exchange can be a game-changer for your relationship:

1️⃣ Deepened Connection: When partners engage in power exchange, they create a sacred space of vulnerability and trust. It's a powerful way to connect on a soul level, fostering intimacy and understanding.

2️⃣ Enhanced Communication: Power exchange requires open, honest communication about desires, boundaries, and consent. By exploring roles of dominance and submission, partners learn to express their needs and preferences with clarity and respect.

3️⃣ Shared Growth: Through power exchange dynamics, partners embark on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. It challenges preconceived notions of power and control, inviting exploration and evolution both individually and as a couple.

4️⃣ Intensified Intimacy: There's something undeniably electrifying about surrendering to your partner's dominance or guiding them in submission. It deepens the emotional and physical connection, igniting passion and desire in exhilarating new ways.

But remember, power exchange is all about consensual exploration and mutual respect. It's not about coercion or manipulation, but rather a beautiful expression of love, trust, and mutual empowerment. 🌹✨

What do you think? Is it something you’ve tried or wanted to try? 💖

Here’s how to use mindfulness to improve your s*x life-

1. Heightened Sensation: Mindfulness helps you tune into your body, making every touch, kiss, and caress feel more intense and pleasurable. By staying present in the moment, you can savor every sensation with a newfound depth.
2. Deeper Connection: When you and your partner practice mindfulness together, you create a sacred space of intimacy and connection. By being fully present with each other, you can cultivate a deeper emotional bond that enhances your physical connection.
3. Increased Intimacy: Mindfulness fosters open communication and vulnerability, allowing you and your partner to share your desires, fantasies, and boundaries without judgment. This level of intimacy can lead to more fulfilling and satisfying s*xual experiences.
4. Reduced Performance Anxiety: By focusing on the present moment instead of worrying about the future or dwelling on the past, mindfulness can help alleviate performance anxiety and enhance s*xual confidence. You can let go of expectations and simply enjoy the journey of pleasure.
5. Enhanced Or**sm: Mindfulness can lead to more intense and satisfying or***ms by allowing you to fully immerse yourself in the sensations of pleasure. By being present and attuned to your body's responses, you can experience deeper levels of climax.

Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments! Let's cultivate a culture of mindfulness and pleasure together. 💖🔥

**sm

I recently had a potential date tell me had a "boundary" that his partners can't have male friends... 🙄

Needless to say that guy got cancelled real quick, but at least he helped inspired some content! 🥴

🚫 Boundaries: S*xual boundaries are personal guidelines that define what feels comfortable and safe for you. They're about asserting your limits & ensuring that your experiences align with your values and desires. Boundaries are not about controlling your partner; they're about asserting your autonomy and well-being.

🔑 Example: "I'm not comfortable with having s*x without protection. It's important for me to prioritize our s*xual health and safety."

🙏 Requests: Requests involve expressing your desires and preferences to your partner. When you make a s*xual request, you're inviting your partner to consider your needs & potentially take action, but you're not demanding or imposing an obligation on them.
✨ Example: "Could we try incorporating more foreplay into our s*xual encounters? It helps me feel more relaxed and connected."

🌈 Key Differences:
*S*xual boundaries are about safeguarding your own well-being and autonomy, while requests are about expressing your s*xual preferences and desires.
* Boundaries establish non-negotiable limits, whereas requests allow room for negotiation & mutual exploration.
* Both boundaries and requests contribute to creating a consensual and fulfilling s*xual experience for all parties involved.

How do you approach setting s*xual boundaries and making requests in your relationships? Share your thoughts and experiences! 🌟💬

*xualExploration

When you try to protect connection by curating your 'self,' you actually damage connection in reality, because nobody can truly connect with a false version of you.

What helps you step into the vulnerability of showing up more honestly?

I know this community is full of wisdom and I want to hear some of it! 👇

Perspective taking, or thinking about the “why” behind other people’s behavior, is a helpful attribute for skilled relationship.

When done with intention, and usually AFTER processing our own emotions, it can help us access deep compassion which ultimately benefits our own sense of groundedness.

AND...

It can also become an unconscious way of analyzing the other in an attempt to bypass uncomfortable feelings (anger for example) in favor of more palatable feelings like pity (pseudo-compassion).

Sometimes other people’s behavior is actually just plain not okay, and understanding their story or motivation is just a distraction from doing the scary work of protecting ourselves.

Sometimes other people’s behavior needs a mobilizing reaction, a boundary, or a hard “no.”

This blind compassion is an easy trap to fall into for anyone who derives their self worth from being, or simply loves to experience themselves as a kind and empathic person.

For people who have disowned their anger, it can feel a lot safer to focus on “figuring out” the other person rather than reflecting on the self.

Does this resonate?

How do you discern the difference between when you’re practicing perspective taking and when you’re using pseudo-compassion to avoid your own feelings?